by A O Storm
Bob laughed and slammed his fist into the bar. "What did you expect, some feminine brew?" He grinned through his beard and started pouring a second round of drinks. "Somehow, I like you, Kano."
Kano could feel the alcohol taking the edge off and started to think Bob was an all right dude. "I've never met a nicer innkeeper!" He boasted, lifting his glass and clinking Bob's before downing the contents. The second shot went down easier than the first but Kano knew he was at his limit. Despite the physical changes the attribute point increases had given him, Kano couldn't tolerate alcohol any better than back home.
"Thank you," Bob said, setting the glass down and then wiping his face with the back of his hand. "Now, let's get down to business, shall we?"
"What do you mean?" Kano was confused.
"You need a place to stay, of course!" Bob smiled, showing his white teeth and a ruddy complexion behind his beard. Kano had a sudden ill feeling about the man; however, he could not tell if it was the alcohol burning in his stomach or the odd gleam in Bob’s dark eyes. Despite that, Kano did need a place to stay.
"That's right," he said, nodding. "Um, I need to also find a way to pay, as well..." Kano trailed off, not sure how to say "I have nothing" and still sober enough to know it was a bad idea to admit he was broke.
Bob gave him a reassuring smile, then reached out a meaty paw and clapped Kano on the shoulder. "Look, friend," Bob said, giving Kano a paternal squeeze, "when I was younger, I too sought my fortune beyond my limited experience." He let go of Kano and gestured to the bar, and the room at large, grinning. "Why, if it weren't for the adventures I had, I wouldn't be here pouring you another drink!"
Soon enough, Bob filled the glasses a third time. He gave Kano a salute as he gulped down the drink. Third time pays for all, Kano thought to himself, considering the Arena and the martial tests that came before. Perhaps this is a different kind of test?
The alcohol burned his throat as Kano swallowed. He set the glass down, unsteady on the stool, carefully putting his hands on the counter to prevent swaying. Kano was still unsure what Bob was offering, and more importantly, how he’d need to pay off the debt Kano knew he’d owe in turn. Then, recalling what he’d seen of the bathroom so far, Kano fervently hoped they at least had toilet paper. Bob gave him an even larger smile and Kano’s brain went fuzzy, as he was unsure which question he should start with.
Kano decided to start with the simplest thing he could think of, which was to learn what he could about this new land. "Bob," Kano said, leaning on his elbows, arms folded on the wooden countertop. "What is this place called again?"
"Three Rivers," Bob replied proudly, grabbing a rag and starting to polish the counter. "There are three rivers, of course, all of which either reach the ocean from here, or merge together, creating something even more powerful, on their way to the sea."
"This means we have a some trade here in our small village, and, as a result, I get some business and we see outsiders regularly." He paused, giving Kano a significant look. "Not all of them are good folk, and, we have our own traditions here to determine who is and isn't a good person."
"Oh?" Kano was a bit shocked at this piece of news.
"You passed the test, Kano!" Bob chuckled, and then started pouring a fourth round. "All we want to know, well, myself and a few other business folk in this village, is if a traveler is harboring any ill intent." Bob shook his head, smiling. "A few years ago, some idiot started preaching to us some nonsense about worshipping a flying monster made out of wheat. He insisted his demi-god, While Eeye, had performed some miracle before countless numbers of people."
Sighing, lifted up his glass, giving Kano a nod, indicating he too should partake in another round. Bob looked at Kano meaningfully. "This priest, as he called himself, the spokesman for While Eeye, stepped off a cliff into the Outlaw River." Bob clinked his glass to Kano’s and took his shot, not waiting for the other man. "Do you know what happened next, Kano?"
Kano shook his head negative, downing the shot with his right hand, holding onto the counter with his left. Food, he thought, his stomach starting to feel warm and tingly from the drinks, with this much alcohol, I should really get something to eat. He felt like Bob was being nice in sharing the story, but he did not understand the point.
"What happened?" Kano asked, setting his now empty glass down.
"He fell! Drowned himself in the river!" Bob guffawed, pounding a fist into the counter and chuckling.
Kano paused only a moment before copying Bob in laughing about the idiot priest. The fire in his belly after the last drink reminded Kano he desperately needed something to eat. "Bob, does your inn serve food? Those drinks have gone straight to my head.”
"Yes, of course, friend," Bob said, turning and walking away with an easy smile. He went toward the back wall, where Kano saw another door. Kano had appeared on the left, inside the storage areas and on the right, he’d used the restroom. Behind the bar on the side, Kano watched Bob walk to what he guessed was the kitchen.
Indeed, before Bob had a chance to retreat into the doorway, Kano saw a sturdy looking brunette enter the main hall, her arms balancing large platters of food. Bob saw the direction of Kano's gaze and walked back to him, reaching over the counter to swat him on the shoulder. "The White Rabbit serves the best food in town," Bob said, smiling.
"Let us feast!" he called out to the room. "Kano here is new to our village and this afternoon he's destined to meet the goddess!"
The people scattered amongst a few tables, all men, lifted their mugs at Bob's announcement and shouted back, "To the goddess!"
How lucky, Kano thought, swaying on the stool as the woman dropped off an earthenware bowl, filled to the brim. She set down a spoon and Kano picked it up, determined to dig in when he smelled the delicious aroma. Piping hot, the savory soup had a translucent broth and he could see chicken, potatoes, broccoli, onions and carrots. Despite the smell, the taste had a lack of flavor. Still Kano was so hungry after a few minutes he was using a finger to scoop up the last bite of chicken from the bowl.
Bob walked over, grabbed Kano’s empty dish and spoon himself, and then disappeared into the kitchen. The innkeeper returned a minute later, drying his hands on his apron. He was grinning behind his beard and looked at the sleepy expression on Kano's face with glee. "Those shots were something else, eh?" Bob chuckled, patting his enormous paunch. "If it weren't for the extra padding, lad, I'd be ready for a nap myself." Kano was very tired from the big meal and alcohol; he could only nod in Bob's direction as he yawned. A moment later, his head was resting on the counter.
The innkeeper rapped on the counter, reaching a decision, "Lad just humor me for a bit longer, then I'll give you a place to stay," Bob smiled, his beard bristling, "free of charge."
Ten - Druidic Demands
Kano nodded, hearing the magic phrase "Free of charge" and lifted his head off the counter. Despite the level ups, drinking and a big meal were enough to bring him down. Kano took note, getting drunk here is just as bad as real life, and stood up. Swaying on his feet, he grabbed the counter for support. A moment after fighting down the sudden nausea, he looked up at the innkeeper and smiled.
“Whatever it is, we should do it before I fall asleep,” Kano said, the alcohol-induced lethargy sapping his energy. He took a quick look at his display and sure enough, his energy meter was down by half from the drinks.
Bob leaned across the counter and gestured to Kano with one meaty paw. Kano leaned in and the innkeeper lowered his voice. "You see, lad, I'm a druid to the goddess."
Kano nodded, not understanding.
Bob shrugged as if Kano’s reaction was not important and then continued, looking around the room before he spoke. "She needs us to give her a show of faith, sometimes, just to ensure that she understands our commitment to the forest."
"Say no more," Kano said, recalling from past gaming experience that druids were usually some kind of granola munching hippies in robes who had a thing for trees and animal
s. "Let me help you show your faith!" He declared, and then heard the sounds of chairs scraping across the floor. Kano looked back around at the various patrons in surprise. Apparently, he had given a known catchphrase, since they were all now on their feet, fists in the air.
"For the goddess!" They shouted.
"For the goddess!" Bob echoed, standing behind the bar and hoisting one meaty fist into the air, copying the patron’s gesture.
Kano followed suit, assuming he had made a new group of friends and was about to unlock the secrets of one of the game's deities. In some fantasy stories, gods and goddesses abounded, with domain over various elements, similar to how a modern scientist would divide up nature. Kano slapped the counter, nodded to Bob and then turned to face the crowd. "Let's do this!"
“Aye,” Bob confirmed, walking around the bar to stand next to Kano. The bearded innkeeper looked at the half dozen patrons with a stern gaze. "Lads, you don't want to disappoint the goddess, now, do you?"
"No sir," the shortest man in the group said, swaying on his feet. Kano realized Bob and he had not been the only people drinking that afternoon. "Let's go to the sacred tree!"
"Yes, the sacred tree," Bob said, walking toward the exit. The bearded man strode straight, no obvious sign those shots of alcohol had given impairment. Kano's stomach was burning a little from the aftermath, but since Bob had promised him he could rest soon, he shook his head, clearing the lethargy from his mind.
"Kano, this here is Chuck," Bob said, slapping the shortest man on the back. The villagers were all dressed similarly, Kano realized. Further, he noted none of them were wearing armor. On top of that, their relaxed and friendly attitude, along with the alcohol, made him feel like he'd made it, like he had no worries.
The group, led by Bob, exited the inn and the various patrons chatted with each other, with Chuck falling in beside Kano as they walked out into the afternoon sun. Kano ignored the chatter and briefly fantasized about setting up base at the inn, learning from Bob, exploring the surroundings and having a nice, easy grind to level up.
"So nice to meet you!" Chuck said, grabbing Kano's hand and interrupting his reverie. The future thinking Kano abandoned as he shook the shorter man’s hand. Then, Chuck made introductions, pointing to each man, other than Bob, in turn.
"This is Bob," he said, "not to be confused with Bob, the innkeeper, so we call him Two." Chuck paused, as if expecting Kano to laugh, but he could only stare at the small man. "Right." Clearing his throat, Chuck continued quickly, "This is Drunk, Dopey, Cokey, and Emo." The names nearly matched the faces and Kano blinked, twice, just to try to understand.
“Hi, Two,” Kano said, waving at the man, who was bringing up the rear, and unlike Bob, as skinny as a beanpole.
Kano turned to the next closest after Chuck, "Nice to meet you, Drunk," Kano said, turning to shake the swaying man's hand. "Dopey," he said, grinning when he saw the man's bloodshot eyes. So it continued, until he had met each man in turn.
"The goddess awaits!" Bob called out, pointing away from the inn off into the distance.
Kano followed the group of men, with Bob keeping the lead, further away from the inn. As they walked, Kano noticed the inn belonged to a very small village. He had imagined how a village might look but was unprepared for what he saw. Only half a dozen buildings, each built of rough wood and logs, with a small main thoroughfare he couldn't call a street. More like the largest path in between the buildings. A few mercantile minded people had set up shop in an extended series of temporary cloth covered booths beyond the buildings. Kano was reminded of the farmer's markets back home. The layout and structure was similar.
He felt in good spirits, the alcohol and the camaraderie impacting him in a way that teaching snowboarding classes never had. Sure, Kano took pride in his students, but he knew those relationships were temporary. Walking along with the men, some of whom joked and gestured, Kano felt like this RPG life might be fun. The arena challenges were something else, but he survived those. Glancing at Bob, seeing the man's bearded face and cheerful expression, as they walked, Kano knew he'd fallen into the exact right spot.
With fewer steps than Kano would have guessed, they passed the edge of the village. Beyond the temporary merchants and the greens, they continued walking, until Kano saw an immense tree in the distance. Chuck fell back and Bob started walking next to Kano, slapping his back in a friendly way. The bearded man pointed once they had a clear view of the massive oak tree. Kano looked over at the man and smiled, copying his gesture and pointing to the same place.
"This is it, right?"
"Oh, Kano," Bob smiled, and then laughed. "This is where you get to meet the goddess, personally!"
"Wow!" Kano exclaimed. Then he smiled and the other men laughed. "I can meet a goddess?" He shook his head, mentally thanking the game developers for their setup. The only thing this place needs is a few buxom maidens, Kano mused. Maybe after I finish whatever they have as a starter quest I'll meet a more diverse population. What Kano really meant was he hoped not every location in the game was such a sausage party.
The walk was an interesting transition. First, at the edge of the village, there were low-lying grasses, not unlike a modern lawn. Then more dense trees, with a bit of undergrowth, and then finally a clearing. Kano paused at the clearing, letting the other men walk ahead, as he breathed deep of the clean forest air. It was uncanny. Kano didn't know if the game developers were experts in scent or if his mind was filling in the details, but the trees, ferns and grasses all combined into a very natural smell. It was clean. Kano had seen more than a few forest fires, and that unadulterated earthy scent had been a distant memory through some of the worst. Shaking his head, Kano focused on the clearing ahead of them, there stood the largest oak he had ever seen.
Towering over its neighbors, the tree marked a clear transition in the forest. He had no idea where or how this fantasy world worked, but the tree looked like one from the forest scene in Return of the Jedi. Kano could see that, even more than the other trees, the massive specimen in front of him looked lush, full of life, with the greenest ferns and grasses near its base. Kano guessed the goddess might be showing her faithful the power of nature and by extension, herself, with the outsized tree.
Kano watched the group stop in front of the tree, curious and invigorated by the fresh, clean air. The alcohol was still impairing him but not nearly as much as before leaving the inn. From the interface, he could see that the inebriation impairment on his energy level would be gone in another minute. Smiling to himself, he thought, these guys are probably a riot on earth day. A joke came to mind, but he dismissed it when Bob turned his steely brown eyes on Kano.
"Do you feel it?" Bob asked, his eyes intense.
"Ah, yes?" Kano made it a question, as he wasn't sure what Bob was referring to. Sure, Chuck had attempted to get grabby at one point, but Kano had sidestepped that issue easily.
"Wonderful! Not all who are new to the goddess can feel her presence."
"Unlike Darth Vader," Kano snickered, making the obvious joke.
"What?" Bob walked up to Kano and squeezed his shoulder. "Who is this Darth you speak of?"
"Nobody," Kano said, shrugging his way free of the larger man's grip and feeling a bit of pain. "Those developers thought of everything. I need to pee, stuff hurts, and." Kano frowned, looking at Bob and then glancing around at the other men. "Hey, ah..." he said, unsure how to continue.
"Yes?" Bob said, his hands at his side. Kano noticed he had a large hunting knife strapped to his waist. Those forest creatures must be hard to slay, he thought.
"I really need to use the bathroom," Kano said, not willing to clarify.
"Ha! You are plenty clean, Kano." Bob chuckled, and the other men echoed his sentiment. "The ceremony is very quick, lad. You can surely wait a short while longer?"
"Uh- Sure, I guess," Kano said, not wanting to interrupt their religious ceremony or explain he needed to do more than urinate. He could wait a few minutes though,
especially if whatever they needed to do would be over fast. What was that Bob said, something about a drop spot? I think that was what I need right now.
The eight men fanned out in a circle around the tree and Chuck ended up the next closest to Bob and Kano. "Lad, listen." Chuck leaned in, conspiratorially. "The goddess provides, but she also requires her faithful to sacrifice." He frowned at Bob, who was looking back at Chuck with a happy face.
"Cheer up, Chuck." Bob smiled at the shorter man who stood on the opposite side of Kano. "With Kano here, well, I think that the goddess might just have the best sacrifice we could ever provide.”
Kano didn't understand, but the shorter man looked relieved and somehow sad. Chuck's brown eyes looked into his and Kano could sense anxiety or regret in them. Weird, Kano thought.
"Let's all hold hands, gentlemen, and then I'll begin." Bob grabbed Kano's left hand with his right and Chuck grabbed his right hand, each man holding the other until they formed an unbroken chain around the massive tree. "Goddess, who protects and nurtures us, watches over us, we thank you."
"Thank you, goddess," the men echoed, Kano muttering along after a moment when Bob glared at him.
The ritual felt like one of those group chats before a game by a sports team, with Bob, the captain, telling everybody they'd go on to victory. Kano shook his head at the comparison. Bob could certainly pass for the captain of a team, given his size, but it had been a long time since a man with a belly that big had gone for a jog, much less a run.
"Please accept this sacrifice, goddess, in return for your protection."
Hands dropped and Kano was surprised. "That's all?" he wondered. Bob held the scabbard to his knife and withdrew it, the metal long and gleaming in the late afternoon light. Kano almost tripped, caught up in staring at the blade, and looked down at the leaf covered, uneven ground. Beneath his booted feet, Kano had kicked something hidden by the leaves. "What's this?"