Sicarii 2

by Adrienne Wilder

“You think I look like a dancer?” There was a tone of thankfulness to Jacob’s words.

  Ben turned a little. “Yeah. You’re…very good looking.”

  The flush in Jacob’s cheeks darkened. “Are you steady enough to turn around?”

  Ben was sure he could wash himself at this point. Instead, he faced Jacob who couldn’t seem to meet his gaze now.

  “Why are you embarrassed?” Before Ben could think about it, he put a finger under Jacob’s chin and lifted his head. Dark lashes, full lips, enough jaw to remain masculine, and cheekbones to keep his features from being coarse. Even Jacob’s ears held no flaws.

  It all came together to build a modern Greek sculpture. The kindness in his gaze adding another dimension Ben couldn’t name. This man belonged on the cover of fashion magazines, not at the feet of a murderer or even the feet of a saint.

  He was too good for either.

  Ben let him go. “Sorry.”

  Jacob moved the sprayer to his other hand. Water struck Ben’s shoulders, his chest, going lower.

  “Marcel calls me beautiful. I know he would never lie to me.” Yet there was some kind of doubt. “I’ve never had anyone tell me that before. That I look…” Jacob shrugged. “Thank you.”

  “What do you mean no one’s ever told you you’re good looking?”

  Jacob had to be joking or mistaken. Anything. How could anyone look at him and not see it?

  “They’ve said it, but not in the same way.” Jacob’s eyes glittered under his thick lashes.

  Ben cleared his throat. “So, this shaving thing. I don’t suppose you have some tips.”

  “I’ll help you, I promise.” Jacob knelt, and Ben sucked in a breath.

  “For a straight guy, you sure do get your hopes up a lot.” Jacob scrubbed at the remnants of blood sticking to Ben’s leg.

  Ben couldn’t deny for a moment he’d been sure Jacob was going to put his mouth on his cock.

  Jacob was right, Ben did keep getting his hopes up.

  “I guess I’m not as straight as I thought.”

  “Most people aren’t. They’re just too afraid to entertain the idea.” Jacob took the sponge from the corner of the tub. One of the few items that hadn’t gone down with the soap bottles. He used it to break up the congealed blood and rinse it away. “People just want to be loved. Even the asexual people I know want to be loved.”

  “Asexual?”

  “I thought you went to college. Pretty sure they covered that even in high school biology.”

  “I know what asexual is. But I’ve never heard it applied to people.”

  “What? You’ve never heard of people who don’t have a desire for sex? Hate to break it to you, you’re surrounded.”

  Ben chuckled, “You’re joking.”

  Jacob stood.

  “You’re not joking.”

  “World’s not black and white. Not sure why sex should be any different. Gender identity too.”

  “Gender identity?”

  Jacob laughed. “You really need some socializing.”

  “I’m socialized.” At least Ben thought he was.

  Jacob ran the spray over Ben one last time then turned off the water. “Make sure to step out on the mat. Don’t worry about drying off really well. The shaving cream does better when your skin is wet.” He stepped out and handed Ben a towel.

  Ben followed, giving himself a minute to balance. When he was sure the world wouldn’t pull out from under him, he followed Jacob outside to the vanity.

  Shaving cream, clippers, razors, and various other grooming supplies lined the counter under the mirror.

  He picked up the clippers. “Is this what you went to your room to get?”

  “Yeah. That and a few other things and some ice for your knee.” Jacob nodded at the bucket sitting on top of the mini-fridge.

  “I thought the ice machine was broken.”

  “It is. I stopped next door and bummed some off Brenda.”

  Where had Ben heard that name before? “The lady with the ten kids?”

  “Nine, but yeah, her.”

  “And she has ice?”

  “Ben, she’s got nine fucking kids. That woman has everything.”

  Jacob wrapped a towel around his waist. “Can you get up on the counter?”

  Ben set down the clippers. He indicated the smooth stretch of Formica between the two sinks open, with a tip of his head. “Here?”

  “You’re not going to fit on the one in the bathroom. Unless you plan on stuffing your ass in the sink.”

  Ben looked for somewhere to lay the towel down.

  “Spread it on the counter, or you’ll slide off.”

  He did.

  While Jacob opened a small box, Ben scooted up on the counter.

  “How do you feel? Still dizzy?” Before Ben could answer, Jacob stepped into the bathroom for a moment. When he came out, he held the bottle of orange drink.

  “Go ahead and get a few swallows of that.”

  Ben drank.

  “Now put your heel up on the edge.”

  Ben sputtered, losing droplets down his chin.

  Jacob swiped a spot of orange off his cheek. “Sharing isn’t caring, Ben.”

  “Do I even want to know what you’re going to do?”

  Jacob held up a small tube of antibiotic cream. “I’m going to see how bad you cut yourself, put some of this on it, so it doesn’t get infected—” He plucked the bottle from Ben’s grip before he could take another swallow. “Then shave you.” He tapped Ben’s foot. When he didn’t pick it up, Jacob lifted his leg.

  Ben did the rest.

  “Now, lean back.”

  Ben frowned.

  “You’re sitting on your taint, and I don’t have X-ray vision unless you want me poking around down there till I find something that hurts…” Jacob waved a hand.

  “Taint?”

  “The spot between your balls and your asshole. You may want to borrow a dictionary from the library.” At least Jacob said it with a little bit of a smile.

  Ben laid back. The width of the counter left him with his back on the surface and his shoulders jammed against the mirror.

  “This will be a little cold, so don’t kick me.” Jacob crouched down with a look of total concentration.

  He lifted Ben’s balls with his free hand. The contact was clinical, but it didn’t stop the electric thrill from crawling up his stomach.

  Jacob swiped his finger, leaving behind a streak of cold jell. “Okay, you can put your foot down now.” He wiped the remaining cream on his towel and put aside the tube. “I have a feeling I’m going to have to do that again when we’re done. It’s hard to see.”

  “’Cause I’m hairy.”

  Jacob lifted a shoulder in a half shrug. “Ready to start?” He picked up the can of shaving cream.

  Was Ben ready to have Jacob’s hands on him? Smearing that cream around, painting it over his balls, his crack, around his dick.

  Ben’s skin tightened, and his cock jumped.

  Jacob smiled a little. “You’re going to get hard. It’s difficult not to. I mean—” He shook the can. “—this isn’t exactly sandpaper.”

  “Thank God.”

  Jacob grinned, and it lit his entire face up.

  Ben’s heart slammed in his chest. He reminded himself that smile was for what he’d said, not for who he was.

  Jacob piled a glob of blue cream into his palm and stepped in between Ben’s knees. “We’ll start here, then you can turn over, and I’ll do the rest.” Jacob smeared the cream over his balls, burying them in the foam.

  “I thought I was only going to cut those short, not shave them off.”

  “Sacks clean, base of your cock trimmed, hair from your chest to your cock trimmed. Now be still.”

  Each light touch delivered by Jacob’s hands sent a static charge over Ben’s skin. He didn’t stand a chance, but he fought it anyhow.

  By the time Jacob had everything coated, Ben’s cock lay swollen and leaking on hi
s stomach.

  Jacob cleaned his hands off on the towel he wore. “Like I said, it happens. Especially if you’re not used to this.”

  “It’s not just this. It’s you.” Ben couldn’t believe he said it. Even if it was true. Even if he’d never really thought to look at guys. At least not look at them like he did Jacob. Or had been too chicken shit before but for some reason wasn’t when it came to Jacob.

  He picked up a razor.

  Ben wondered if Jacob heard him, then the quick flick up of those large luminous eyes gave him the answer.

  Jacob maneuvered the razor over Ben’s balls, around his cock. Tugging aside folds of skin, carving away the foam with skilled motions. His exhales close enough to ghost Ben’s skin, to tighten his insides, to heat his core. Sweat beaded on Ben’s upper lip. He licked it away. The action stirred memories of Jacob’s mouth on his. His glassy-eyed stare, the flush coloring his lightly tanned skin. How the locks of his hair matted together from either cum or sweat, Ben had no idea.

  Both possibilities a figment of his imagination, like the feel of the man’s hips under Ben’s hands. The heat of his body squeezing Ben’s cock as he fucked him. What would it look like to see himself disappear in and out of Jacob’s ass, glistening with oil, his hole stretched tight?

  Ben knew the sounds Jacob would make. He’d heard them. He’d felt them. He’d drank them from the man’s lips, stolen them from his tongue. Held him while he shuddered with release, his entire body rippling with pleasure.

  Ben didn’t know he’d closed his eyes until Jacob said his name. A glob of foam stuck to the skin near Jacob’s navel. “You can roll over now.”

  Ben eased himself upright.

  “Do you want to take a break first.” Jacob dropped a quick look at Ben’s complication, currently beating to the tune of his heart with all the kindness of a mallet.

  “Yeah.” Why lie? “Give me a minute.” Ben slid off the counter.

  “Here.” Jacob handed Ben a bottle of lubricant.

  Ben took it and limped into the bathroom.

  The door wasn’t thick enough to completely silence Ben’s grunts, pants, or the almost pain-filled groan of his release.

  Guilt was the only thing that kept Jacob from getting hard. Guilt for not helping Ben in the first place so he wouldn’t have hurt himself. Guilt for wishing he’d taken Ben in his hand and finished him himself.

  It didn’t matter Marcel had told Jacob to teach Ben what he’d expect. It still felt like a betrayal.

  Water hissed in the bathroom sink. Ben had either made a mess and needed time to clean up or was stalling.

  Jacob was about to knock on the door when it opened. Ben limped back over to the vanity. His bruised knee had swollen enough to suggest he’d have trouble bending it. He really needed to get some ice on it to keep it from worsening.

  “Maybe we should call this a night.” Jacob would just have to tell Marcel why. He had no idea how Marcel would take it either.

  “It’s barely noon.” Ben leaned against the counter.

  Jacob crossed his arms. “I thought you’d be glad to get a break?”

  “I am. It’s just, I’d rather get it over with than have to think about picking up where we left off tomorrow.”

  “Go sit on the bed and let me make an icepack for your knee.”

  Ben hobbled over and sat on the mattress.

  Jacob moved the ice bucket to the counter and fished out a Ziplock bag from the supplies he’d brought from his room.

  In the mirror, Ben adjusted the towel around his waist, tugging it away from his groin.

  “Feels weird at first.” Jacob dropped cubes into a plastic bag. “Wait till you put underwear on.” He walked over and handed Ben the icepack.

  “I’m afraid to ask.” He placed the pack over his knee and grimaced.

  “Want some aspirin?”

  Ben nodded.

  Jacob brought Ben his sports drink and collected some aspirin from his supply bag. “Here.”

  “Wow, you thought of everything.” Ben took both. “Thanks.” He popped the aspirin and washed it down with the last few swallows of the bottle.

  Jacob sat beside him. “It gets easier. The shaving, I mean.”

  Ben laughed. “I seriously doubt that.”

  “If you’d rather get waxed like me, I know a place down on Maple. Then you’ll only have to clip the hair around your dick.”

  Ben scrunched his eyebrows together. “You get waxed?”

  “Yeah.”

  “As in total stranger ripping your hair out by the roots.”

  “Tammy isn’t a total stranger. I’ve known her for years.” She’d been one of the lucky ones to escape the business. Hid her money, stayed off the drugs, got her reassignment surgery, then opened her own business.

  Ben had called Jacob strong. But Tammy had real strength. Jacob had only survived because of Marcel.

  “I’m pretty sure getting waxed would be worse.”

  “It hurts, especially the balls. But you don’t have to get it done often.”

  “No. I’ll stick to the shaving.”

  Some of the heaviness lifted from Jacob’s heart. “Does that mean you’re going to stay?”

  Ben dropped his shoulders. “Why do you care?”

  If there hadn’t been so much sincerity in Ben’s question, Jacob would have been offended. “Because you’re a person. And…I don’t want anything to happen to you.” No matter how much he feared Ben’s presence.

  This time when Ben laughed, there was no humor in it.

  Voices and footsteps came from above them. A car started up outside. A door slammed.

  Jacob’s cell phone rang.

  He retrieved it from the pocket of his jeans where he’d draped them over the sink in the bathroom. He went back out to Ben who sat up more.

  Jacob answered the phone.

  “Why did it take you so long to answer?” Marcel’s voice rolled through Jacob, soothing any anxiety.

  “I was talking to Ben.”

  “Then he is there.”

  “Yes.”

  Marcel made a thinking sound. “You are showing him how to groom himself?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then you are not finished?”

  “No.” Jacob dropped his chin. Marcel might not be able to see him, but he was sure the man would know.

  “But you did not stop to take a break either, or you would have said.”

  “I needed to put some ice on his knee.” Not a lie, yet managed to still feel like one.

  “Why?”

  “He…he said he had a disagreement with the bumper of a car.”

  Movement whispered over the line. The screen door slapped shut. Jacob wasn’t sure whether Marcel had gone inside or out until the ice maker clattered. “Take the phone to the bedside table and put it on speaker.”

  Ben tracked Jacob’s path. He turned the phone on speaker and set it down.

  Ben widened his eyes.

  “Now you can both hear me.”

  The why burned in Ben’s expression, but he seemed to know better than to ask the question. Or he just feared the answer.

  “Tell me Ben, did Jacob explain to you how I wanted you to groom? Showed you what to use. How to use it?”

  “Yes.”

  “And did you do as he asked?”

  “Yeah, I mean…I tried, but I couldn’t do it right—the shaving part. The…” Ben’s face reddened. “The enema was easier.”

  “How does it feel?”

  Ben looked at Jacob, then slid his attention back to the phone? “What?”

  “To be told how to groom. To be shaved of hair. To be filled with water and have to shit it out?”

  Ben clenched his eyes shut.

  “I am waiting, Ben.”

  “Degrading.” Venom filled that one word.

  “I might ask of you many things that may degrade you. I may ask of you things that will do worse. Does that bother you?”

  “You know it does.”


  “We all must endure things that take something from us. Doing so is your gift to me, Ben.”

  A tick jumped in Ben’s jaw.

  “Now, I want you to lie down on the bed. On your stomach. But make sure you wear nothing when you do. And keep the icepack close.”

  Ben lost some of the color to his cheeks.

  “That was not a request. You will do this.”

  Ben gripped the towel around his waist so tight his knuckles bleached. All Jacob could do was beg Ben with his eyes to do as Marcel asked.

  Almost as if the movements were forced, Ben unwrapped the towel but stalled again as he started to climb higher on the bed.

  “You still have not done as I have told you.”

  Ben inched his way to the center of the mattress and laid down. There was the barest squeak and slide of skin against the comforter.

  “Very good, Ben. Jacob, get the lubricant and bring it over to the bed.”

  Jacob was moving before he even processed the question.

  “What’s going on?” Ben pushed up on his elbows.

  “Lie down, Ben.” There was no malice in Marcel’s voice, but the weight behind his words almost sent Jacob to his knees.

  The muscles in Ben’s arms tightened, and he stared at the door.

  Jacob shook his head.

  The anger didn’t leave Ben’s expression, but he lay back down.

  “Jacob.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Pick up the ice pack. Ben, spread your legs.”

  Ben buried his face in the pillow and obeyed.

  Jacob exhaled relief.

  “Now take the lubricant with you, Jacob, and kneel between Ben’s knees. Then I want you to open the icepack.”

  Jacob climbed onto the bed between Ben’s knees. His thigh muscles tensed like he fought the need to pull them together.

  “Very good, Jacob. The icepack.”

  Jacob opened it too quick, and several moon-shaped slivers tumbled out on the mattress. He collected them and put them back.

  “Slick him up.”

  Jacob opened the bottle of lubricant and pulled aside one of Ben’s ass cheeks. The first line of oil landed over Ben’s hole, and he jumped hard enough to shake the bed.

  “Tell me how it feels, Ben. And do not leave out a single detail.”

  Jacob squeezed Ben’s ass cheek, hoping to spur him on.

  Ben turned his head but kept his eyes closed. “Cold.”