by Rita Hestand
"You were to marry this man?"
"Yes. I did not expect Black Wolf to challenge him after only meeting me once, on the battlefield."
"You fought?"
"Oh no, I am a healer and I was there to take care of the wounds. The blue coats brought me out there to tend them."
"I see. And will you now be our healer?"
"Yes, the elders have asked me to."
"That is a good thing." His mother acknowledged.
"Did you regret my brother winning the challenge?" Washita asked.
Sasha looked down at the earth beneath her. How could she answer and be honest? "A little, yes. I do not want to lie to you. I have not known your brother long. I couldn't believe he would challenge Big Knife for me."
Cochita and her sister looked at each other.
But their mother shook her head at them. "In her place, you would have felt the same." She scolded them. "She is honest and that is something my son admires greatly."
"I don't think his father likes me much."
"He is a quiet man always. Whether he likes I do not know yet, but he respects you. My son has chosen you to marry among all his own tribe, he has found you. There is a reason. And if love is not between you, it will be someday, or he would never have taken you."
Sasha stared at the old woman and smiled wondering how she could say such a thing.
"It is sometimes hard to turn lose of the past."
"Yes, and you are wise to know it." The woman said. "I think he has chosen well."
Sasha smiled at her.
Later that same day Black Wolf took her around the reservation so she could see where it began and ended.
They stopped at one point and walked their horses. "So, what do you think?" he asked her.
"About what?"
"My family, marrying me, and becoming a Shoshone?"
She leaned against a tree and put one foot up on it as she studied him a moment. "You have a nice family. Your parents are sweet people. I like them. Your brother and Sweet Bear are very nice too."
"I can see Washita and Cochita made a bad impression."
She sighed, "I do not blame them. I am a stranger to them. I must earn their respect. If my brother was to bring a wife from another tribe in, I would be leary too."
He nodded. "I have sprung a surprise on them, and they are angrier with me, than you."
They were silent a long while, "Do you think you can learn to live here in peace and harmony?" He asked her bluntly.
"It would seem I have no choice."
She could tell by his expression he was disappointed in her answer, but it was the truth.
"If I gave you a choice, how would you answer?"
She hung her head and hesitated to speak. Then she blurted. "I'm not sure I can answer that for now."
"You are wise beyond your years. And truthful. I like that about you."
"That's what your mother said. That you appreciate the truth."
"It is true. Because honesty is the first step to trust. And trust leads to love."
"You are very wise yourself." She smiled. "But I must tell you that I still don't understand why you chose me as your wife."
"In time, maybe I can explain it to you." He sighed heavily. "I must leave the camp tomorrow. I have a meeting at the fort with the blue coats."
"Oh, I see. When will you return?"
"I do not know but it won't be but a few days. I am to scout for them."
"I didn't know you were a scout, too."
He stared down at her, "Sasha we are at peace, but the Sioux and Crow refuse to live on reservations. In all honestly, living here in the Wind River Valley is home for us. We have been here for some time. That is why when I met you, I was surprised that the Arapaho had moved here too. But I will not fight as we are content here. And I suppose your tribe would not be here if they were not peaceful too."
She nodded slowly, "I too see no reason to fight any longer, nor does my father. He is happy in this valley. But some of my people are not."
Black Wolf studied her, "Big Knife?" He asked.
"Yes, Big Knife."
"Then I have done well to bring you here and marry you, as if war breaks out, you are safer here. Does your father know of this?"
"Yes, he knows how Big Knife wants to war with the blue coats. He does not agree, and we have signed the treaty. It would not be wise to break the treaty. The land is good here, there is much wildlife and the crops are fair too." She hung her head, not sure whether to tell him about her returning to the Arapaho camp. She needed to know more about him before she confided everything.
"That is good."
She stared up at him a moment. "I have learned from the blue coats. As when they came to my village in the mountains, the doctor came with them and he taught me many things about medicine. Now I can really help my people and yours. For the white man's diseases can be treated, at least some of them."
"That is a good thing, and you will be of great value to us all. Sasha I am proud you will be my wife. But I must tell you, what I seek from you is a real wife. A woman who can work with me, and love with me and give me children. I am a patient man and will not rush you for it. But it is my hope that we can come together in love someday."
She hung her head, "I understand what you ask of me. Although I do not understand why you picked me. Still, I will be a dutiful wife."
He gently took her by the arms and stared into her innocent eyes. "I seek your love, Sasha, not your duty."
"Then be patient."
He smiled warmly at her now. "That you have said this, makes me have hope for our future together."
"You are a good man, a strong man, and a kind man, but my heart… "
"Yes, I know." He said softly. "Belongs to another."
"I would not be honest if I said differently."
He nodded. "I will be patient, for your love is worth waiting for." He told her with a sad kind of smile.
"You are not angry with me?" she asked a bit startled that he wasn't.
"No, for your loyalty to him makes me jealous. And yet I understand and appreciate that loyalty still."
"One thing I will tell you. It is something I struggle with to understand too. Big Knife wants war with the blue coats. And I do not think it a good thing. If he chooses this path, I must put this love away from me, for he does not honor my father's wishes about this. Already I have doubts, as he honored me coming with you, but not my father's wishes of peace. In other words, he could give me up, but not this war he seeks."
Black Wolf smiled again, "You are a wise one, Sasha and to win your heart would be a treasure."
She looked up at him, "You flatter me, I am not used to being flattered."
"Yes, I can see that. In some ways, I have picked up on the white man's ways. I have learned their bible. Their God is my God. And the bible says to honor your wife and appreciate her. I intend to do that with all my heart."
A tear formed in the corner of her eyes and Black Wolf saw it. "It would seem that I will marry a very good man, then."
"Goodnight Sasha, I will see you in a few days when I get back. And then we will marry."
She waited for the kiss, but it did not come, and she had to admit, she missed it. He was a confusing and nice man, and for some reason, she wished he wasn't leaving.
Chapter Eight
But Black Wolf was gone for four days and she did miss him. She missed talking to him, she missed his sweet compliments. And the fact that they would marry soon, made her both anxious and a little scared.
With Big Knife threatening war, she felt divided. If he did start a war, she would no longer keep thoughts of him in her heart.
She was marrying a man she knew so little about. And if all her father had told her was the truth, she must know it for herself now. She needed to talk to Big Knife.
One night, before Black Wolf returned though, she felt she had to get away. She needed answers to her problems.
Like before she snuck out, and gra
bbed a horse, walking him out of the camp then riding for her Arapaho camp, but before she got to the camp, she heard voices. She got off the horse and followed the voices into a clump of bushes where she peaked through to listen.
She recognized the voices in the darkness, it was Naomie and Big Knife, and she peaked through the bushes to confirm it. What were they doing out here in the still of the night, together?
But that secret was revealed quickly, lying on a blanket together, entwined in each other's arms. Kissing. Naomie's skirt rode up her leg to an indecent place, and it was obvious, they'd made love!
Sasha's eyes widened. She'd never caught them together like this, and the shock of it, hurt.
Sasha's mouth opened, and tears rolled down her cheek. How could Big Knife discard her so quickly, and how could her friend betray her trust so easily?
Big Knife had never kissed her like that!
What a fool she'd been! He loved Naomie!
Or had she been the real fool!
"Do you really love me, Big Knife?" Naomie sighed as she pulled away far enough to look at him.
"I have always loved you. You know that. We have been together many times. I am surprised you are not pregnant by now. You are the woman of my dreams. Every man of this tribe wants you. Your body is like a temple to your womanhood. You are built like a goddess, your breasts fill my hands, your hips will make way for many of my babies. Of course I love you."
His hand went up her dress, Sasha's mouth flew open, for Naomie did not protest. In fact, she moaned the pleasure. Sasha watched as lovemaking was not something she knew anything about. She was mesmerized at how gentle and sweet Big Knife was with her.
"I wish we were married." Naomie smiled as his hand found her breasts, she squirmed to be closer. "Oh my love, when you touch me like this, I am so happy."
"My sweet. You will be my wife, just as we planned all along." Big Knife insisted. "Given time to act as though I am over Sasha, then you and I will be married."
"Is Chief Walking Bear sad about her leaving?"
"Yes, and I must act the same to win his favor."
"Of course, just as you've acted as though you loved her all this time. It must have been hard for you, for she knows nothing of loving a man."
"Very, she is a virgin, and childish at best. She's like a grown child. It was not hard to keep her at a distance."
"You never made love to her?"
"No my love, how could I touch her. She is like a child, so little and childlike. She is not yet a woman even."
Sasha's eyes widened with shock and disappointment. Tears began to roll down her cheeks she was so hurt by his words.
"You do not regret losing Sasha?" Naomie asked breathlessly. Sasha couldn't take her eyes away from them.
They'd been lovers? For how long? How did she not know this? Was she that naïve? Perhaps Naomie had been trying to tell her and she just wasn't listening. It had been enough that she suggested Big Knife might want to marry them both!
"I have never loved Sasha. She was more like a sister. She will marry the scum of the earth, a Shoshone, let her. Had she loved me she would have told her father no. If her father insists on peace, we might leave this tribe so we may war with the blue coats."
"She does love you. She told me so. She was my friend, but it was so hard to keep from telling her of my love for you. She even wanted to know if you'd marry us both."
"I would have, if I had to. But don't worry. No longer. I will not have her now. I've never touched her as I've touched you. And you will be my bride, just as we planned long ago when I first took you as my own. You must know something my sweet, for I have never touched Sasha like this. You are my woman, and always will be. And I am proud to have you, all the young warriors want you. But I have let them know you are mine. Your beauty outshines all the women of this tribe."
"Oh Big Knife, I did not know you thought that. I'm glad, I please you. For I feel the same of you. I cannot wait to bear you a child."
"There is much love between us, Naomie." Big Knife told her. "Besides, I only wanted her because she was the chief's daughter. It would have brought me much attention to have such a wife. The Chief would find favor with me as a son-in-law. But it doesn't matter, as her father won't be chief for long. He is in favor of peace and many of our warriors do not agree. He will have to listen to us, or we will leave the tribe and form our own. He is old and he does not want to war with the whites. He has listened to the other tribes here." Big Knife laughed, "He thinks I mourn the loss of Sasha. My heart is light, as I'm rid of her now. But he will never know it. I seek power, and I will have it when we kill the white men who come to destroy us." He stared into Naomie's eyes. "I want you again my sweet, you are the greatest of lovers. Tomorrow I will seek her father's favor as I mourn her, and all will be well when we are wed at last."
"Did you ever tell her how much you cared for me?"
"I could not, she would be angry and tell her father."
"She did not want you to marry us both. How long must we wait to wed?"
"A bit, a few months. But then you will be mine, forever."
"She has a right to some happiness with this man, if she can find it." Naomie told him. "After all, he fought you for her, and that is kind of romantic."
"Naomie, he did not win, I let him. Deep down, I did not want her. Never wanted her. I thought at first it would make me next in line to be chief. But he wants peace with the whites. I do not. His son will be chief, another peaceful chief. Sasha is against war too. But, let us not speak of her again, as I want you more every moment, I am with you. To take you is to take a prize possession. Your breasts fill my hands like a woman should, and your body makes me want you even more."
"You crave my body?" she asked with a sexy smile.
"Always." He smiled back. "You are mine, and I will claim you as my wife soon."
She snickered. "I want to be with you always. I loved Sasha as a friend, but I love you so much more. At times I was even jealous of her."
"There was no need. She is but a child. She might be wise as a Shaman, but she knows nothing of being a woman. There is no need of your jealousy. You are ten times the woman she is. Sasha hasn't the body of a woman."
Then he began to peel her clothes from her body and Sasha watched for a few minutes, learning what being a woman meant. Tears ran down her cheeks as Sasha slowly walked away. Strange though, it did not hurt her like she thought it would. It made her mad at the betrayal.
But she couldn't close her ears.
"You have no love for her?" Naomie asked.
"I never did. And I will prove it to you. soon, I will ask your father for your hand in marriage and we'll be married soon afterwards. But first I must appear as though I mourn losing her. I will bring six horses for you when I ask your father for your hand."
"Six, that is a lot." Naomie smiled. "He will be very pleased. It is good between us. It has always been good between us. And I am so happy to finally become your wife. I have wanted it for two years. You are the man I desire. I'm only sorry I had to lie to Sasha so much."
"I have made love with you many times, each time better than the last. You have the body of a beautiful woman, and I desire you all the time. Many braves do. You are the most beautiful woman in our camp. Your breasts fill my hands, and your hips are wide and will carry many children for me. One day, when we marry, I will declare my love for you in front of them all. Every man in the tribe will envy me."
"Do they know you deceived Sasha?"
"Sasha is the one who assumed I loved her." Big Knife told Naomie as he cuddled her nakedness in his arms.
"I never touched her or spoke words of love to her, like I do you. It was she that thought it. But all the warriors of our tribe want you, they are so jealous that I have found your love. We are good together. Sasha is not a woman yet. Never be jealous of such a naïve child." He whispered.
From the sounds they made, Sasha knew what they were doing, just from the way she heard the sticks b
eneath them crack, they must have made love. She flushed with anger.
Sasha left, bereft and confused. She'd heard and quietly walked away. Tears flooded her vision. Her life was changing now. Big Knife and Naomie had been lovers for some time, it sounded like. It was all a lie between her and Big Knife he had deceived her. And her best friend had betrayed her. And all because she was just the daughter of a chief. What a fool she'd been to think he loved her for herself. Strangely though she didn't feel the hurt in her heart so much. Deep down she had suspected Big Knife all along, especially when he'd put the wedding off because of moving to the reservation.
But was her father in danger? If the tribe split up, there might be more wars. She hated that. After years of wars, even she had to admit the whites were more powerful and grew in numbers as the years passed. Her father had taught her that change was something no one really controlled.
She thought she knew Big Knife so well. But she was learning quickly.
How could Big Knife use her like that? And Naomie, even though she wished her well with her Shoshone husband, she did not step aside for her either.
Still, she quickly recognized that it had been her that assumed too much. Big Knife was right about that. She felt so foolish now, knowing the truth at last. Big Knife had been the first warrior to ever look at her twice. The first man to pay attention to her.
She felt disillusioned. In one evening she had lost her best friend and the man she thought she loved.
Her father would not let her return to live there now, and Big Knife didn't love her. It would seem her life was over as an Arapaho.
If she couldn't be an Arapaho any longer, then she'd become a Shoshone. Black Wolf wanted her, that much she was sure of. For unlike Big Knife he had said so. If nothing else, he had earned her loyalty.
Four days later, in the evening, Black Wolf came to see her again, she smiled when she saw him waiting outside the tepee. For some reason he looked twice as handsome. But his glance was strange.
"I am glad you are back." It was the truth for something about Black Wolf made her feel so safe.