When Night Breaks

by Janella Angeles

  The window was cracked open.

  Leave. Her heart started thudding. Just take them and leave.

  One moment she stood staring at the window, and the next she was climbing through it. No fear as she balanced on the outer ledge, hefted herself up in the way he’d taught her. A twinge of soreness finally spasmed through the adrenaline. The ache settled in her muscles once she met the top of the roof, but the pain left instantly.

  A figure stood at the edge of the roof, overlooking the world.

  Same height, same sinewy frame beneath an untucked shirt with the sleeves pushed to the forearms.

  He stilled at her first step and turned at her second.

  Kallia froze. “You’re here.”

  Any uncertainty in Jack’s eyes cleared the moment a familiar, slow smile tugged at his lips. “Disappointed?”

  Her mind blanked and raced in every direction at his voice. He looked and sounded just as he did in her memory. Only this time, there was light all around them.

  “It’s a shame to lose all of this.” His lips drew into a wry smile, before he pivoted back to take in the view. “I always wondered what it might look like in the light.”

  She had no response. Every emotion and wound—all the words she wanted to shout in his face for all he’d done—ripped inside her. For every cruelty, each lie. For vanishing without a trace as though he were truly gone for good, after everything.

  “You say that as if it’s beautiful,” she bit out. “It’s half a city.”

  If she hadn’t gone back, would he have simply stayed away?

  None of this seemed to bother Jack half as much as he exhaled, looking down. He seemed almost pleased. “Not for long.”

  From their vantage point, the roofs of smaller marvel and style houses scattered about appeared as transparent as the beginnings of a mirage. The stunned silence had broken as faint protests and curses scattered over the streets, demanding answers. Any authority. The weight of it all fell over her shoulders for a moment as she envisioned that chaos, claimed by the Diamond Rings.

  There would be so much to put back together once there was nothing left standing.

  “Why are you here?”

  Jack’s quiet question came out of nowhere. It took some time before his stare lifted to hers. That he could even ask it, after everything, astounded her.

  “Why are you here?” Kallia sounded remarkably calm for how much she wished to scream. “And … how?”

  A smile cracked through his hard expression. “I guess we can cross Zarose Gate off the death list.”

  “This isn’t funny, Jack,” she said flatly.

  “I’m not joking.” When it was clear she wouldn’t play along, his face dropped a fraction. “Roth didn’t make me, no matter how much he claimed it. Took me long enough to realize my ties are not actually to him.”

  “The devils?” She didn’t know which was worse, being at the mercy of a weak-willed magician or a force of terrible power. All this earned was a casual shrug from him.

  “That can’t be, they’re gone.” Kallia blinked rapidly at the brightness above. “This proves—”

  “Even the sun has to set eventually.” Jack shoved his hands into his pockets. His lips drew into a resigned line. “This won’t last forever. Where there’s light, there will always be shadows. No matter how diminished, power like that can’t just vanish entirely.”

  “What are you saying?” Frantic, she studied him even closer for any signs of weakness. “Are you all right?”

  “I am still here,” he said in answer. “Which means so are they.” His gaze drifted over to the disappearing gate where those vast, empty lands awaited. “Hopefully not for a while, though.”

  Optimism was not the card to play with such uncertainties. Unable to tell when the light would run out, when darkness would fall once more, turned even balance into a cruel joke—what had to be for something to stay. It was the only reason Jack still stood now. As long as darkness existed, so did he.

  “How does that affect you, though?” Gritting her teeth, she looked him over. Closer. “What of your power and—”

  “You really don’t have to worry about that.”

  Her eyes narrowed to sharp points. She had no patience for his jokes, even less for evasiveness. “So why won’t you tell me, then?”

  “Why are you even still here?” His nostrils flared with his raised voice. He still didn’t look at her directly, only took little sips of her in glimpses. “You both have your chance to finally go, so go.”

  Not like this, when it felt like they were still crossing a tightrope about to snap.

  “It’s not that simple,” she bit out. “Especially when … we don’t even know if it’ll work—”

  “It will,” he said without hesitation. “Still, there’s no excuse not to try. Don’t waste a second chance when this world so rarely offers them.”

  So how had he known that this time, it would? Kallia refused to accept any of it as coincidence. There was no such thing anymore, not with how the cards had fallen precisely into place. Such an impossible outcome was not the result of a miracle dropping from the sky. There were always strings attached, and there was no puppeteer more skilled than Jack. He never acted without intention, which meant he’d always known Zarose Gate would arrive, and Kallia would face it. Just as he’d known what would happen once he sent Demarco and Vain out to those devils.

  Why?

  The simple question stilled on her tongue. It haunted her more than the answer, something Jack would only lace with lies. True to form, a magician never revealed his secrets. No matter how much she wanted them. How much she fought.

  “I don’t want to fight with you anymore, Jack.” Kallia let out a breath of defeat, closing her eyes. There was too little time and there weren’t enough words left to justify wasting them. “I just want—” Her throat bobbed with a hard swallow under Jack’s unflinching gaze.

  “You just want…?” He lifted an expectant brow at her, waiting.

  It irked her, but she would miss it. She would miss him. “I wanted to say goodbye. Properly,” she said, lifting her chin. “I’m glad you’re still around, Jack.”

  And she meant it.

  Even though he released a bitter laugh in response. “You don’t have to be polite and say that for my sake.”

  Kallia frowned. “I’m not.”

  “Then you’d be the only one.” He shrugged his steady shoulders. “Everyone in this world probably thinks I’m gone with all the monsters. Maybe I’ll let them believe it.”

  Something rose deep inside her chest, different from when the Diamond Rings had embraced her hard enough to crush bones. Jack wasn’t even touching her, and every word he said threatened to snap her in half.

  Jaw clenched, Kallia gripped the warmed metal at her side like an anchor. The weight was much lighter than she remembered, more familiar.

  It was time to give them back.

  “Do you want to know why I returned here?”

  Before Kallia could stop herself, she pulled Jack forward and forced his hand out of his pocket. A noise of surprise broke from him, an intake of breath when she pressed the black brass knuckles into his palm.

  Everything about his face transformed at the sight. Softened at the edges.

  “It was because I didn’t want to leave something of yours behind.” Heart pounding, Kallia firmly closed her fingers over his, over the brass knuckles. “Because these belong to you.”

  His hands stilled beneath hers, just as hers had done when he’d given them to her on this roof not long ago. She never should’ve kept them. There was no reason to hold memories she could not remember, along with ones she’d rather not. Answers she didn’t need, and questions long past the point of asking. Because of that, they’d always been more his than hers. She felt it with every brush of his thumb across his knuckles, the endearing way his large palm cradled the object now as she began withdrawing.

  Jack pulled her back, and she gasped at the abrupt
motion. The feel of his cold, hard chest against hers. Uncertainty fluttered straight down her spine, waiting.

  Waiting.

  Waiting until a quiet fell over them, and nothing more. Not even words. As Kallia lifted her face up, Jack’s stare dropped and lingered on their hands; hers, covering his like armor. An embrace.

  “Thank you,” he rasped out, before finally stepping back.

  Kallia blinked as the world drew back into focus, with time snapping back into place. It made her want more.

  More time, more words.

  “It’s been strange, not having these. I had a feeling you’d pick up on it.” He slipped on the brass knuckles in one smooth motion and grinned down at them as if greeting an old friend. “Now you know my tell.”

  Warmth pooled in her chest. One secret was enough.

  “Maybe I can properly punch you in the face with them one day.”

  A small laugh left him, trailed by a deep, wry exhale. “You know that’s not how this works.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Just as sudden as the warmth had come, cold dropped at the grim line of his lips. “Second chances are rare. Third, nonexistent. We’re lucky to be able to bend the rules once.”

  “But … weren’t you made to cross over whenever you’d like?”

  “Back then.” He shrugged. “Not quite sure when I’ll have enough power for it again, but certainly not at the moment.”

  The contented beat of her pulse skipped to a confused rhythm. He had to be lying. Jack never claimed anything unless it served him.

  Then again, he’d never claimed weakness at all. Not in front of her.

  “If this is a joke, it’s not a good one.”

  His eyes remained firm on hers as he shook his head slowly. “I was never meant to stay there for long anyway,” he said. “And like many here, that world is not to me what it is to you.”

  Kallia didn’t know how to react. It frustrated her, how after years of knowing him, she could read him well but not enough to be sure. To know his lies from truths, when his face remained a mask not even she could take off entirely.

  “So what are you saying?” Blood thundered in her ears at the crack in her voice. Leaving meant losing everything and everyone here, that was a given. As much as she hated that, there was comfort in knowing that at least she wouldn’t lose everything. There would always be Jack, because Jack was that bridge between both worlds. He could pass along messages and updates, visit wherever he’d like without the threat of Roth watching.

  To be cut off from it all was painful. A pain she was sure she’d never felt before. “Will we see any of you ever again?”

  She couldn’t ask about him specifically, was not ready to cross that line. Either way, his breath stopped and his jaw tensed. “Maybe one day.”

  No, Kallia. You won’t.

  She wished he’d just say what he meant. The truth.

  Even though she knew it already.

  “Why are you crying?”

  His intense expression had contorted in such surprise, Kallia had to roll her eyes. “I’m not heartless.” She sniffled. “I wish it wasn’t like this … losing so much, at every turn. I just want—”

  Everything. Just like she always did.

  But she didn’t want this. This choice felt like a punishment. Limiting instead of empowering. She didn’t want to have to choose between sides and people like right and wrong. She didn’t want regret to always make her wonder or look back to where the other way would’ve led. Regardless of her choice, those were the ghosts that would follow. No matter where she went.

  “You’re losing nothing, Kallia.”

  A scoff sliced through her lips. “I thought we were past lies.”

  If Jack truly believed that, then he was just as naive as she was. Just as she was about to turn from him, he stopped her. Not with force, but with the gentle lift of her chin in his fingers. “I’m not lying to you.”

  Kallia resisted the urge to shut her eyes. His were too much, this close. Stormy and regal, like lightning contained. They hadn’t stood this close since she’d pushed him through the mirror, since their last dance.

  This, too, would be a last.

  “You know this isn’t a true life.” Jack waved his free hand all around them. “Most forget that, because most are fools who don’t ever wish to look back. But there is so much more than this out there.”

  She couldn’t deny a word of it, couldn’t help but feel so immensely small, all at once. Apart from Demarco, her friends, and the people she’d met—the home she’d found in them all—the true side was a stranger. After all, she knew one house, one city. Nothing else. It struck a fearful chord in her, all that she wasn’t prepared for. “More what, exactly?”

  “That will be for you to decide,” Jack said quietly, deep in thought as he searched her face. “Finally.”

  50

  The Court of Mirrors was still intact for the most part when Kallia stood before Zarose Gate. This monster from legend, a beast that carried so many shadows.

  Nothing more than an ordinary mirror.

  This one would not hurt her.

  “What’s the matter?”

  Kallia startled at the brush against her elbow when there was no one else in the reflection but her. Outside of it, Demarco stood beside her, taking in his lack of a reflection with curiosity. “Oh.”

  It only saw magicians. This was all the proof she needed.

  To move forward.

  To go back.

  Take me home.

  “What’s the matter?” He cupped her face, lifting it up. “I thought you wanted this, too.”

  “I want it too much.”

  She always had, always would.

  Confusion creased his brow deeper. “Is that a problem?”

  Not now, but later. Losing over and over again had left that mark, the kind of terror as bone-deep as certainty. Even with Demarco’s hand in hers, she could feel him slipping away again already, so easily, if fate wanted to play another game. She could see everything she’d ever wanted in her grasp, falling through her fingers just as she’d reached them. Just like before.

  There was hardly any hope when she faced the mirror. When she looked, she saw only a cautionary tale. A trap, baiting her with every impossibility offered on a platter: for two to go through, for that freedom to go back, to return to everything she’d lost.

  There was simply no way. Luck like that was like looking a devil’s trap in the face, and she didn’t trust it. Not after everything.

  Demarco didn’t settle for just holding her hand. He pulled her close and held her for so long she was tempted to close her eyes.

  “It’s okay to be afraid,” he whispered against her hair, “of not knowing what comes next.”

  The knot in Kallia’s stomach tightened, growing more tangled with every thought. “I’m more worried about what I’ll lose next,” she said.

  “Then you’re worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet. That may not happen at all.”

  Kallia stared at her reflection, the one she’d healed with her very own hands.

  The one that beckoned her through, warm as a welcome. Inviting as trust.

  Take me home.

  There was a reason she’d said those words to him before, and that those words did not apply to this side.

  Whatever happened next, at least she would be home.

  It was hardest to say goodbye, but somehow, they managed.

  Kallia was showered in tight embraces, kisses on cheeks.

  When she reached Vain, who’d simply held on to Demarco for as long as she could, only then did a breath begin to choke her.

  It was the hardest goodbye yet, so she didn’t say it at all as they held on to one another. Once more, before it was time.

  “Thank you,” Kallia said, pulling back with a shaking breath. It was nowhere near an adequate thanks for everything, but somehow she knew Vain could hear it all in two words.

  “Be sure to pass it
on,” Vain responded with a sly smile of her own.

  Demarco had already taken her hand before she could take his. The warm, coarse feel of his palm against hers steadied her as the nerves started up again when they stepped up to the mirror.

  She took her fill of the scene, the Court of Mirrors falling and fading, patches of the walls fully formed and painted while others had become translucent as ice.

  Her heart seized for a moment.

  A figure leaning against the half-translucent wall caught her eye, far back enough he could be mistaken as a shadow in the corner.

  But she knew that form, the sharp cut of the suit even at a distance.

  Take it, and don’t look back.

  She nodded softly and stepped through the mirror with Demarco as though it were air.

  Somewhere in the dark, they’d begun to walk. The path found their feet with each step, not quite solid ground. But with each step, the path grew firmer.

  It was a long road, and neither of them spoke. They talked in the squeezes of hands, to make sure the other was okay, to keep from disturbing whatever fragile balance of a road they were on now.

  Kallia couldn’t imagine walking this road alone, and was glad she didn’t have to.

  For the silent dark was the best home for doubt. The last thing either of them needed to move forward.

  She fought to recall the faces of her friends on the other side, and found it was much harder than before. Time away had faded their features in her head. Nothing frightened her more than forgetting the ones she loved. As if by sheer will, she concentrated, digging deep into her memory to see Aaros and Canary and the Conquerors, to remember Glorian as it used to be and the way she felt upon its stage.

  Remember.

  Her temple throbbed at the effort.

  Remember.

  The squeeze at her fingers sent a jolt through her. When she pried her eyes open, there was a light. A speck, as far away as a star.

  For some reason, some mirrors had remained when everything else had fallen. There was no apparent reason for it, but Jack didn’t trust it.