Find the Girl

by Lucy Connell

  She snatches my phone from Sophie’s hands and clicks on something, before her eyes widen and she turns the screen round to show me one of the selfies Miles and I took together on our walk.

  ‘There are loads of selfies of you together and your lipstick is smudged in this one!’ she cries out, before examining the photo again and going through the photos with an expression of complete horror. ‘I can’t believe you and Miles … I can’t believe it.’

  If there wasn’t anything at stake, I would have found Layla’s horrified reaction really quite funny. Because the idea of me dating a famous musician would KILL her. It’s bad enough that my nerdy twin sister, who she always used to take great pleasure in laughing at, is dating Chase Hunter, but if she discovered that I, her ex-best friend, was living HER dream of going out with someone famous then I seriously don’t think she could handle it.

  ‘This is AMAZING!’ Sophie screams at the top of her lungs. ‘That’s why you don’t want to ask him about any news! It’s because YOU are the news!’

  ‘No, you’ve got it wrong. We’re not –’

  ‘Why didn’t you tell us?’ Sophie claps her hands together. ‘OMG maybe Layla and I could date the other two members of Chasing Chords! QUADRUPLE DATES!’

  ‘Layla,’ I say, watching her still examining my phone, ‘can I have it back now?’

  My phone suddenly rings. I freeze, thinking it might be Miles.

  ‘It’s Nina,’ Layla tells me, holding the phone out.

  I take it from her and answer under their scrutinizing gaze. At least Nina has bought me some time to work out what exactly I can tell them and how I can get out of this situation.

  ‘Nancy? Can you talk?’

  Nina’s voice is raspy and wobbly, and I know immediately she’s crying.

  ‘I’ll be back in a second,’ I say to Layla and Sophie, before speaking into the receiver. ‘Are you OK?’

  I leave Layla’s bedroom, closing the door behind me and walking down the hall before sitting on the top stair.

  ‘What’s wrong? What’s happened?’ I ask, listening to Nina’s sniffles.

  ‘It’s so stupid, but I don’t know what else I can do. I think I have to pull out of the showcase. Who am I kidding even trying for this summer school place?’

  ‘Nina, calm down. Tell me what’s happened to make you think like this.’

  ‘It’s Chase. He’s not coming to the showcase. I can’t do it without him, I just can’t. And he doesn’t get it. He doesn’t think it’s important, even though it’s important to me. Things have been bad between us for a while and now this. He doesn’t have time for me and I … I think that maybe it would be for the best if we broke up.’

  She bursts into a fresh round of tears.

  ‘Nina, it’s OK. Deep breaths. Whatever happens, it will be OK,’ I say in the most calming voice I can muster while feeling sick to my stomach for her. ‘Why isn’t Chase coming to the showcase?’

  ‘Because he has to be at a press conference. They’re announcing his solo career.’

  ‘W-what?’

  ‘Apparently, there’s no other time they could do it. Mark is insisting that it has to be announced that day and Chase feels that there’s nothing he can do –’

  ‘Nina, are Chasing Chords … are they SPLITTING UP?! Chase is going SOLO?! WHAT?! I can’t believe this! Oh my god, I don’t know what to say!’

  ‘I know. It’s a long story,’ Nina says sadly, and I suddenly feel terrible for focusing on that, which isn’t even important right now.

  The important thing is Nina and Chase. I don’t have time to worry about the best band in the world splitting up and never hearing their music again. I’ll have to worry about that colossal, horrific, life-changing news another time.

  ‘I wish you were here. I could really do with a hug,’ Nina admits. ‘Nancy, I know it’s a lot to ask, but could you –’

  ‘I’m on my way,’ I say, standing up and walking back towards Layla’s room. ‘I’ll be there in a few hours. Don’t worry, Nina – it will be OK.’

  When I’ve hung up, I take a deep breath and push open Layla’s door, knowing this isn’t going to go down well.

  ‘I have to go,’ I say, preparing myself for Layla’s wrath. ‘Nina needs me. She’s really upset. I’m so sorry, I promise I will work on the train. I’m sure that I can think –’

  ‘It’s no problem,’ Layla says breezily. ‘Nina needs you. We can handle the website.’

  Sophie looks as stunned as I feel.

  ‘You … you can?’ I ask, gathering my stuff. ‘Are you sure you don’t mind?’

  ‘Sure. If Nina’s really upset, then you should go to her and help.’ She raises her eyebrows at me. ‘And there’s no need to look so shocked.’

  ‘No, I thought you’d be unhappy. We only have a few hours until the votes are counted and –’

  ‘Look, Nancy,’ Layla interrupts, her expression softening, ‘when it comes to family, I get it. You should be there for your sister. We can handle the website.’

  ‘Wow. Thanks,’ I say, beaming at her.

  ‘Nina may be a loser, but I hope she’s OK,’ Layla adds, sitting down at her desk. ‘Now stop staring at me and go!’

  ‘Thanks,’ I say one last time, before racing out of the room and down the stairs.

  I really didn’t think there would be anything that could shock me more right now than the news that Chasing Chords is splitting up.

  But Layla’s just gone and done it.

  Miles, I heard about the band and Chase going solo. Are you OK? I’m so sorry! No wonder you’ve had so much on. I just hope you’re all right

  I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I hope you understand why I didn’t? We couldn’t risk the press finding out and I’m still getting my head round such a big change. But yeah, I’m OK. Wish I could see you x

  I’m on my way to London now to meet Nina. I could come find you afterwards?

  I’d love that. Surely, this is going to be the perfect time for the Sound of Music impression? If ever I needed to laugh …

  Trust me, my terrible singing would only make things worse

  Can’t wait to see you xxx

  Same xxx

  EXCLUSIVE!

  CHASE HUNTER GOES SOLO!

  Music Editor: Nancy Palmer

  We can exclusively reveal that Chase Hunter, the lead singer of Chasing Chords, is pursuing a SOLO career! Although it has not yet been announced publicly, a secret source has confirmed this HUGE NEWS that Chase Hunter will be splitting up the famous band known for their awesome songs, like ‘Light the Way’ and ‘Torn Up Inside’. Chasing Chords fans will surely be devastated by the news but we also CAN’T WAIT for Chase’s new solo album!

  YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST!

  ALL THAT GLITTERS, Number One for Hot Music Gossip!

  DO YOU WANT THE LATEST MUSIC STUFF LIKE THIS BEFORE ANYONE ELSE?

  THEN DON’T FORGET TO VOTE FOR US ON THE HOMEPAGE!

  EXCLUSIVE!

  CHASING CHORDS’ MILES CAUGHT IN A KISS AND TELL!

  All That Glitters can exclusively reveal that Miles Turner, drummer of Chasing Chords, has shared some SECRET KISSES with our very own music editor, Nancy Palmer. Click HERE for PROOF! Selfies together AND a video of the two on their ROMANTIC walk!

  YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST!

  ALL THAT GLITTERS, Number One for Hot Music Gossip!

  DO YOU WANT THE LATEST MUSIC STUFF LIKE THIS BEFORE ANYONE ELSE?

  THEN DON’T FORGET TO VOTE FOR US ON THE HOMEPAGE!

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Nina

  I pull myself together after sobbing down the phone to Nancy. Knowing that she is on her way to London makes me feel better. I don’t want to handle this myself; I don’t feel like I can. I decide to take Jimmy’s advice and go for a wander. There is no point in trying to build up the excitement I’d had from speaking to Mr Rogers for my lesson. It had vanished as soon as Chase had told me what he was really thinking.

  It’s only a sh
owcase.

  All this time he has been pretending that he believed the showcase to be as important as I thought it was, but really in his head it was a silly concert compared to the real pressure and significance of his big new record deal. He’s just been humouring me. With those few words, he’d made me feel so small. After I ran off, he messaged me, asking to meet him, saying he was sorry and that he didn’t mean it. But I’m not sure what to believe. Maybe he did only say it in anger. Or maybe his anger revealed what he really thought.

  Either way, I don’t want to be around him.

  After washing my face in the concert-hall bathrooms, I leave the building, walking without anywhere to go. I stop at a cafe to get a cup of hot chocolate and continue walking aimlessly until I find myself in front of St Paul’s Cathedral. It’s so beautiful, and I wonder why I haven’t been to see it already, considering Guildhall is only a short walk away. My phone vibrates with a text from Nancy telling me that she is at Norwich station, about to get on a train. By the time she gets here, I’ll have finished my lesson with Caroline and can spend some time with her before the group rehearsal this afternoon.

  I get distracted from the magnificent St Paul’s architecture by music and spot a busker down the way, singing and playing the guitar, drawing in a big crowd. I go over to watch her for a bit, trying to put my finger on why she is so good and then it dawns on me. The whole time I’ve been watching her, I haven’t noticed if she’s made any mistakes in the song or whether her singing is completely perfect; her love of her music is infectious and that’s why all these people are stopping to listen.

  My phone vibrates in my pocket and I reach for it, thinking it’s Nancy. But it’s Chase calling me. I ignore it. I’m not ready to talk to him. He rings again. And again. And then he sends a flurry of messages asking me where I am, saying that we need to talk. He’s so determined to talk to me that I feel I need to reply otherwise he won’t stop. Maybe he is looking for me at Guildhall and is panicking about where I am.

  Chase, I’m OK. I’m at St Paul’s

  Cathedral. I need some time to

  myself

  I put my phone back in my pocket and continue to watch the busker dance around on the pavement to cheers and applause. My phone vibrates again.

  Don’t move. I’m on my way

  Part of me is annoyed that he isn’t giving me the space I’ve requested, but part of me is desperate to see him and for him to tell me that everything is going to be OK between us; that it had just been a silly fight because we’d both felt under lots of pressure and taken it out on each other; that of course he will be there in the audience for my showcase, cheering me on and giving me the confidence to play.

  But when I see him getting out of a sleek black car and walking towards me, I know that’s not about to happen. His face may be partly shielded by his hoodie and sunglasses, but I can see his expression is thunderous.

  ‘What has Nancy done?’ he growls, beckoning for me to follow him, away from the crowd surrounding the busker.

  ‘What are you talking about?’

  He holds out his phone, which is open on the All That Glitters homepage. There are two new stories posted by Nancy. As soon as I see the headlines, my insides turn to ice. I read the posts over and over again to make sure I’ve understood them correctly, to make sure I’m not seeing things.

  After I’ve read them so many times that my eyes hurt and seen the huge amount of comments building up underneath each one, there is one moment when I think: How could Nancy do this?

  And the answer comes back straight away: She couldn’t.

  Nancy won’t have published this. I don’t know how the information is out there but Nancy would not have pressed upload on these posts, no matter how much she wants to win that competition.

  But who could have published it but her? There are photos of her and Miles, and a video that no one else could have had. She didn’t even tell ME about that date with Miles, so there’s no way anyone else could have known.

  I sit down on a bench outside the cathedral. My brain hurts. This day is going from bad to worse.

  ‘Chase,’ I say, looking up at him, ‘you can’t think Nancy would do this? There must be some mistake.’

  ‘Who else could have done it? Who else would have that information? And the photos and the videos! Nina, the posts are under her name! Look!’ He slumps down on the bench next to me. ‘This is so bad. Everything’s exploded. Miles stormed off; none of us know where he’s gone. And the press is all over us. Trying to get here without anyone noticing was like a scene from Mission: Impossible. They’ve surrounded my home, the studios, everywhere. Mark is freaking out, trying to do some damage control. I thought Nancy was my friend.’

  ‘She is your friend!’ I protest. ‘Chase, we need to speak to her. There’ll be an explanation.’

  ‘The only explanation is that she posted these stories to win that stupid competition she hasn’t shut up about. All she cares about is getting attention.’

  ‘Chase, stop. That’s not true. If you’d give her the chance –’

  ‘Come on, Nina,’ he growls. ‘You know as well as I do that she’s hated you being in the spotlight. And this has given her the perfect chance to get ahead, so that everyone is talking about her again.’

  ‘She wouldn’t have done this,’ I say desperately. ‘She must have been tricked somehow!’

  ‘How did she even know in the first place?’ He takes off his sunglasses to look me in the eye, his blue eyes cold and angry. ‘You told her, didn’t you? Even though it was supposed to be a secret. Miles didn’t tell her.’

  I look down at the ground, my eyes filling with tears at his accusations. He’s never spoken to me like this before.

  ‘Yes, I told her this morning after our fight.’

  ‘Right before the post went up,’ he says, shaking his head. ‘Brilliant. She didn’t even hesitate to sell us out. How could you be so stupid as to tell her?’

  ‘Because I trust her!’ I yell, causing passers-by to glance curiously at us before scuttling on.

  ‘That was your mistake, then,’ he argues. ‘She’s not like you, Nina. Some people will do anything to get to the top. Trust me, in my industry you get that a lot.’

  ‘She’s not like that. There is an explanation for this, I know it. And I know that you know that, too! You trust her. You’re just angry and upset. Please, calm down and think about it.’

  ‘I don’t have the luxury of calming down to think about it. I now have to deal with this craziness without any preparation, and so does the band.’

  He shakes his head and puts his sunglasses back on.

  ‘Tell her that she’s caused a huge mess and I hope she’s happy.’

  He stands up, ready to leave.

  ‘Chase, wait,’ I say, grabbing his hand, but he pulls away.

  ‘No, Nina. I have things to do.’

  He walks to the car without stopping or looking back at me once. I watch the car pull away. My brain is spiralling with worry. Everything is out of my control and I’m here alone; I don’t know what to do.

  I start feeling dizzy and sick. It’s getting harder to breathe. I suddenly feel very hot and I quickly take off my jacket, my hair sticking to the back of my neck as it grows damp with sweat. I panic as my throat begins to close up and my breath becomes short. I clutch the bench as though I might fall off it any second. I’m frightened.

  I need Chase. I need him to come back.

  But he’s not going to come back. My phone, I need my phone. I fumble for it in my pocket and can see a long list of missed calls from Nancy and Mum. I press Nancy’s name and hold the phone to my ear.

  ‘Nina?’ She answers the phone, her voice filled with panic. ‘Nina, thank goodness. You have to believe me, but I didn’t … Nina, are you OK? I can just hear you breathing. Nina, what’s going on?’

  ‘I … I can’t …’

  ‘Oh, Nina,’ she says in a tearful voice. ‘It’s OK. You need to slow your breathing. Com
e on, breathe along with me. That’s it. Really slow.’

  ‘My throat …’

  ‘Feels tight. I know. It’s OK though. You need to slow your breathing and it’ll feel better. Are you sitting down?’

  ‘Y-yes,’ I stammer.

  ‘Good. That’s good. It’s OK. Keep breathing nice and slow. I’ll do it with you.’

  I sit on the bench, trying to inhale and exhale at the same time that I hear her doing it. Gradually, my head feels less blurry and the ringing in my ears gets quieter. Everything comes back into focus. My mouth is really dry and I realize that my cheeks are wet from tears.

  ‘I need some water,’ I whisper, my breathing back under control.

  ‘Yes, you do. Can you get some?’

  ‘Yes, there’s a shop nearby,’ I tell her.

  ‘Give yourself a moment and when you feel up to it you can go get some. Do you feel better?’

  ‘Yes. Thanks so much, Nancy.’

  ‘It’s all right,’ she says. ‘It’s been a while since you’ve had a panic attack like that. I’m so sorry that I’ve caused this one. I’ll be with you soon and we’ll work it all out. Right?’

  ‘Yeah,’ I say, wiping the cold sweat from my forehead.

  ‘Are you with someone?’

  ‘No. No one’s here. But I’m OK.’

  ‘You’re not OK. Is there anyone you can call to be with you until I get there?’

  I think for a second. ‘Yes. There is. I’ll call them now.’

  ‘I’ll be with you soon, Nina.’

  After she hangs up, I hesitate, wondering if I’m doing the right thing by calling Dad and asking him to come here. But there isn’t anyone else I can think of right now. The first time I call, he doesn’t pick up, so I try again. This time he picks up just before I’m about to hang up and tells me that he’s coming out of a meeting. He has a bit of time before the next one, so he can swing by.

  When a black car pulls up nearby a few minutes later, for a moment I think it might be Chase coming back to apologize and my heart skips. But Dad steps out, on his phone as usual, and I tell myself to stop being so stupid. Chase isn’t coming back.