Panthers of Brigantia Shifter Box Set

by Lisa Daniels

  “Poor sad, sweet Caspian,” Phoenix muttered.

  She was startled by the loud purring that resulted from her words. Orion was doubled over, holding his stomach, and she soon realized that he was laughing uncontrollably. Tilting her head to the side, she tried to understand just what was so funny. Her attention was quickly diverted as she enjoyed watching his unchecked happiness.

  When Orion finally settled down, he gave her an honest smile, the dimples easy to see on his smooth cheeks. “You and I are probably the only living people who see him that way. But I suppose that is because we are both so soft-hearted.” He stood up and moved over to sit beside her. As he sat, he stopped. As if deciding something, he gave his head a little shake, then kissed the top of her head. “I guess that means more of your memories are starting to return.”

  Phoenix unconsciously touched where his lips had pressed against her head as a warmth filled her. She wanted him to do it again, but her mind was trying to focus on what he had said. Clearly he thought that she was remembering something, but it had been an honest, automatic reaction to the name. The name did not stir the same emotions, but she definitely felt a strong reaction when Orion mentioned Caspian. Orion’s current pain and hidden sorrow was tied to her, that she knew just by observing him. What she felt for Caspian was very different—she wanted to help him, but not for the same reason. Pity. The word was one of the first that came to mind when she heard the name Caspian, which was a far cry from the way the name Orion made her feel.

  Still touching the spot where Orion had kissed her, Phoenix shook her head. “I don’t.”

  Orion leaned forward, “You don’t remember? Or you don’t want to remember?”

  Not fulling understanding the question, Phoenix scratched her head. “No, I…” she stared at her lap trying to find the right words.

  A hand covered hers, “There’s no rush. I’m not trying to press you for answers, so don’t stress over it.”

  She knew he was trying to reassure her, but Phoenix felt that she needed to sort it out for herself. Obviously she didn’t remember Caspian, though the image of a friendly set of eyes did pop into her mind. What bothered her was the realization that she may not want to remember. Tapping her head, Phoenix tried to force her mind to focus on what she wanted.

  A hand wrapped around her wrist as her movements became more vigorous. “None of that. I’m not going to let you beat yourself up. You can’t force the memories back, certainly not by beating your head like that.”

  Phoenix bit her lip, “Something. Something.” The frustration came across, even if she couldn’t find the words to say what she felt, or what she needed to say. Orion knew how she felt, and was able to supply the information that helped to alleviate some of the annoyance she felt.

  “Yes, there are several important somethings we will need to take care of, but it will wait. I’m not going to let anything happen to you while you recover, so you should be able to focus on the recovery. Alright?”

  The gentle look in his eyes made her feel a little better, while managing to make her feel driven to do better.

  After they had finished eating, the pair worked on her movements.

  The next few days passed in much the same way, with her beginning to improve much faster now that Phoenix felt a desire to make Orion’s smile last for more than a few moments. A part of her knew that she needed to enjoy it while it lasted because what she had to do was not going to be easy or enjoyable.

  Chapter 3

  A Complicated Connection of Sacrifice

  Phoenix had only a vague notion of time, but she had taken an interest in the way the sun affected their activities. When the sun was visible, Orion would take her outside to walk and enjoy nature. She loved these times, but she quickly found that she preferred when the sun would disappear. Night was when it was just the two of them alone, talking—or more like Orion talking and Phoenix listening. Even though they had not encountered anyone, Phoenix was afraid that they might, and that made her feel anxious as long as there was light outside. She knew that if she were discovered everything would change, even if she couldn’t remember why.

  At first, Orion appeared alright with supplying the words that she couldn’t find and holding up the conversation at night. However, after the sun had disappeared nearly a dozen times, she began to sense an unease in him. Orion’s attention was not completely on her, which she thought she could understand since he had said he was managing a lot until she was prepared to act. A part of her was very dissatisfied with her own slow mental progress. It had only taken a couple of days for her to largely relearn everything about moving that she had forgotten, but her mind had barely progressed. Phoenix knew why, but she had ignored whatever alarm was rising in what remained of her thoughts because she knew that once those things began to return, the pleasant days and nights with Orion would be done. There was something that she had to do, and as difficult as it was for her to ignore the alarms in her head, Phoenix had been ignoring the problem to keep the comfort of the current situation. It was only when it had become obvious that Orion was beginning to feel concerned that she knew she could no longer hide the cause of the lack of progress in her mental state.

  They were sitting down to dinner after a long day of exploring, and Orion did exactly what she had feared. “Phoenix,” he began, the tone of his voice no longer trying to hide the concern she had been noticing in his body language, “I know that every time is different, that sometimes it will take longer for you to recover, but I admit that this time is clearly different. It appears that you haven’t made any progress since you woke up, at least mentally.” He shifted in his seat, not quite able to look at her. Swallowing, he tried to change his tone a little so that it wasn’t so obvious, so that she wouldn’t think that he was accusing her. “Typically, you have already gone charging into the fray, smiting everyone and everything who was corrupting the world.” He cleared his throat. “While I have enjoyed having you to myself, I don’t think the situation has ever been this bad by the time you returned.” His eyes finally met hers. “What can I do to help you? I will do anything.”

  Phoenix placed her fork down and looked him in the eyes. “A bother?”

  His head vigorously shook side to side, “You are absolutely not a bother to me. In fact, usually I am the one who…” Orion ran a hand along the back of his neck. “Something is holding you back, and I am afraid that because I… no, this isn’t about me.” All of her senses were trained on Orion as he seemed to suffer through trying to explain. He leaned his head to the side, his piercing green eyes looking directly into hers. “I had wanted you to show signs of improvement before going into the details, but I fear what has happened. That you were left alone too long.”

  It was only with those words that she realized what he wasn’t saying. Orion believed that he had arrived too late, that he was at fault for her lack of progress. Without thinking, her body moved on its own. Striding around the table, she pulled his head against her. “No, no, no. Not you. Me. Scattered. All scattered.” Her limited vocabulary made it incredibly difficult, and she began to grow frustrated as he pulled away and tried to stand up.

  “Noo!” She threw herself over his lap. “I don’t want to. I don’t want to anymore.”

  The words made him freeze. Too afraid to look at him, her hands balled around his clothing. “Seven scattered sources. No more. I don’t want anymore.”

  A hand reached under her chin and carefully tried to turn her to look up at him. At first Phoenix resisted. She knew that she would do whatever he wanted, that the pain in those green eyes would convince her to do something she had been avoiding.

  But it was the voice that got her attention. “Please, Phoenix, look at me.” Her hands gripped tighter, but she found herself moving as he had asked. Before he could speak though, she began to shake her head. He stood up, picking her up from the floor. “I know. I know, it’s not fair, but usually I’m the one arguing that.”

  Orion sat down, and judgi
ng by the way his body moved, she knew that he had sat on the bed. His hand rubbed her back as she seemed unwilling to look at him. Sitting on his lap, she listened as he spoke.

  “It’s never easy, but this time things are worse, so much worse. They killed Kendra.”

  The name was very familiar. The pout turned into a scowl and she turned to look at Orion. He nodded at her, “Yes, that’s how bad things are. If I had pulled you out of there faster, you would have—”

  She put a finger over his mouth and tapped her head with her other hand, “Scattered. It’s scattered. That’s not you. That’s… here.” The hand that had been tapping on her head waved vaguely around the room as she tried to indicate the world.

  This seemed to take him a few minutes to understand. “Your mind is fragmented?”

  She nodded, “Seven. Seven. It’s seven. The more is less now, but still seven.”

  “I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”

  “The more. But not now.” The remaining fragments seemed to be trying to bring pieces of her knowledge together, but Phoenix knew that she needed a name to get her point across. Clutching her head with her hands, she began to rock, “Names. Names. They did it.”

  Orion wrapped his arms around her. “It’s okay. You are safe. You don’t need to get excited or upset because it will keep you from thinking properly.”

  Phoenix took the opportunity to put her head in the crook of his neck. Smelling the comforting scent, she allowed herself to relax a little, her mind finding a few of the fragments. A few memories floated across her thoughts. Murmuring into his neck, she finally managed something like a coherent thought, “Alexis and Anders. Hector. They took one. Darius woke Itzel. And they took one. Ignacio. You hid, but helped to take one. More. There were more. But just seven sources now. Scattered to the seven sources.”

  Orion’s hand froze at the mention of Alexis and Anders, waiting for her to finish speaking. When he was certain she didn’t have any more to say, he began to verbally piece together what she was saying. “You are talking about the monstrosities that the Unwashed have made. The corrupt magical hearts that enslave magic users.”

  Phoenix vigorously nodded her head as she pulled away from him to look into his eyes. “Yes. Seven. Seven scattered pieces.” She tapped her head again.

  “Oh,” the look of understanding on his face was bittersweet. She had no doubt that he would work out what needed to be done, and the peace and comfort she had felt would end soon. “I knew it was bad, but I had no idea it was that… their tampering with magic has shattered your mind.” He pulled her against him, “Oh gods, I should have realized sooner. I need to get word to the others before it does permanent damage to you.”

  “I’m okay. I don’t want anymore.”

  This caused him to pause again. “Phoenix, we both know that this is always temporary, but if your mind is fragmented, that could be detrimental to everything. We have to put you back together.”

  “Tired. I’m tired. No more. No more.”

  “I’m starting to understand how you felt all of those times I did this to you, so I suppose it’s my turn to suffer, huh?” The sound of his voice made Phoenix look up. He had a pained smile on his face.

  Without thinking, Phoenix placed her hands on his chest and kissed him. The feel of his soft lips caused a jolt to go through her, and for a moment, she could feel everything coming together in her mind. The memories of so many times where they were reunited only to be torn apart when she was done with her work. All of the emotions came crashing into her mind, and her body began to move in ways that expressed the urgency and pain that had been her existence. Through so much of it, Orion had been the only source of comfort and happiness.

  Trying to hold onto the memories that she didn’t want to lose, she pressed into him, her tongue sliding into his mouth. At first he sat like a statue, not moving, the shock too much for him to immediately process. As her movements became more urgent, he found he could not resist. His arms moved to her head, holding her carefully like she was fragile. She adjusted her body so that she was straddling him, her body pressing into his. Orion’s hands slid down her body, pulling her to him.

  “Orion,” she murmured when he pulled back for a moment. “Gods, it’s become so painful. It’s too painful.”

  “I know, Phoenix,” one of his hands caressed her cheek, “that’s what I’ve been saying for so long. But you have always been right. We signed up for this, and at least we always get some time alone. Never enough to get in trouble, though.” His smile was again sad.

  Phoenix shook her head, then began to kiss him again, her body asking him for something she knew she shouldn’t. His hands moved over her body, and for a moment she thought he would give into something that was definitely a bad idea. For the moment, she knew if they were both to give in, everything would change. But that would be the ultimate act of selfishness, and there was a very good chance that she would never recover from her current state. Uncaring, her hands began to pull at his clothing.

  As soon as he felt the tug, Orion pulled away. “No. I’m not sure how much you remember of our situation, but I’m not going to take advantage of you.” He stood up and quickly moved away.

  The connection gone, Phoenix felt her mind immediately deteriorate, all of what she wanted to say leaving her. She fell back on the bed, a glazed stare on her face. “Why?” The question was mumbled, but it was the only word that went through her head.

  Orion sat on the bed, putting some distance between them. Much of that he closed as he leaned over toward her, but always keeping his body as far as possible. He pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, “We aren’t like other assassins and druids. We can do something they can’t, and that would not be fair to you at all. I’ve learned to accept my fate. After all this time, you are still worth it. One of us has to be strong, and right now I am the unlucky one.”

  Phoenix turned to look at him, a tear streaking down her face. He brushed it away, then stood up. The next second a large black panther jumped on the bed and curled up next to her. Phoenix looked into the green eyes and knew what he wanted to say. Wrapping her arms around him, she cried into Orion’s fur until she fell asleep.

  Chapter 4

  Struggling to Do What’s Expected

  When Phoenix woke the next morning, the memories from the previous night were about the only thing she could think of. Orion lay beside her, curled up, as if he had not moved all of that night. She was still clinging to him, and to her horror, Phoenix realized that she had drooled on him. She still couldn’t breathe properly, having cried so hard that her nose was stopped up. The familiar green eyes looked at her, apparently unaware of what she had done. Pulling away from him quickly, Phoenix felt embarrassed. “Sorry. Sorry.”

  She watched as his sleek body shifted into his well-toned human form. Though she didn’t remember too much of their past that morning, Phoenix was well aware that his incredibly youthful face was far older than anyone would have thought. Like hers. Patting her own face, she felt like the night’s cry would have left her looking hideous, even worse than she already believed herself to be. A part of her was now very much aware that druids were supposed to be beautiful, but she wasn’t anything like the others. Their beautiful hair and elegant eyes were not part of her because of her abilities. Her appearance marked her for what she was and what abilities she carried. There was only one other druid who had anything like the kind of power she had, but their magic was nothing alike.

  Poor Heaven, the thought flitted across her mind, though Phoenix wasn’t entirely sure what the thought meant. In some ways the task in front of her was so much worse than Heaven’s, but Phoenix was one of the few who could fully appreciate just what her sister was going to have to do to succeed.

  Shaking her head, Phoenix was very aware that she couldn’t let things like that distract her. The task before her and Orion was going to keep them both busy, too busy to be able to help anyone else. And then it would be over again. Letting her h
ead fall into her hands, Phoenix knew that she had no desire to do what came next. Her mind was returning to the same state as the previous morning, but she would remain aware enough that she could start her mission once again.

  Warm arms moved around her. “I know.” The warm voice was near her ear, then went silent as Orion just held her for a few moments. When she finally seemed ready to face the day, she tapped his chest. Giving a little laugh, he released her and got off of the bed to go make breakfast. “Is there anything in particular you want today?”

  “Fast,” she looked at him as she said it.

  The panther shifter pursed his lips before letting a sad grin grace his face as he nodded his understanding. Trying to ignore how much things were about to change, Phoenix stretched and decided to wash up before eating. Clearly her face would be an absolute mess. Even if Orion had already seen her like that, the druid found the idea horrible that he would remember it, let alone see her looking like that again.

  When she emerged from the small bathroom, Phoenix began to look around her with a new understanding. Many of her memories and thoughts had slid away from her, but she was finding it easier to pull them back now that she had a better grasp on the situation. It gave her no joy to start what she knew needed to be done, but the idea of Orion blaming himself and saying that he had to be the strong one made her feel incredibly guilty. If it was a choice between doing something she didn’t want to do or helping to ease his suffering, there was nothing for her to consider.