The weight of his words pressed down on her body and mind. Her inability to accept her return to fae society had been transparent. “Is that all?”
“No. There are widespread but quieter whispers of some asking if House Rowan might well be better off with another—for instance, Calder—as the heir.”
Becka sighed. Perhaps it would. “I have to assume Maura has heard all of this. Why hasn’t she brought it up?”
“If she had, would it have changed your behavior?” he asked.
Becka frowned. “Yes, but likely not for the better. She knows I’m stubborn to a fault.”
“Then there’s your answer.”
“Right, and now my brother Calder is next in line, instead of heir himself. Plus, he despises me. I swear I can hear his teeth cracking from that forced smile he plasters on his face around me.”
Quinn chuckled. “There’s your humor. But that makes Calder a prime candidate, from my perspective.”
“Which would be idiotic of him, as he’s also an obvious suspect.”
Quinn shrugged. “Idiocy is not a typical restraining factor to murder.”
Becka rolled her eyes at him. Twice. “Who else is on your list?”
“The shifters.”
Becka screwed up her face. “What? Why would they have anything against me?”
“You have a new power. Do you know whether it impacts their innate abilities?”
“I’ve come into contact with them occasionally, on accident, and my Null hasn’t appeared to affect them, but I would never test it out on them just to find out if their innate abilities are safe from my Null powers. I wouldn’t want to hurt them while experimenting with my own limits.”
“And yet, perhaps the shifters fear that your Null power can harm them? Do any of them appear standoffish or overly cautious of you?”
“No, not at all. They’re loyal to Vott to a fault and have never given me cause to worry about their intentions. If they’d meant me harm, they’ve had ample opportunity before now.”
“Someone fears your Null power enough to have you eliminated before you become more of a threat,” he said.
“That could be true of any of the fae houses!” Becka threw her hands up in the air.
“Yes, I have also included the other fae houses in my list. Your new ability has the potential to shift power between the houses. Some would read that as a threat to their standing.”
Becka nodded. “The infighting and sparring for power amongst fae is legendary. And here I show up with a new ability no one understands. I’ve noticed that some non-Rowan fae who live here look at me as if weighing me on a scale. They see me as dangerous or valuable, or perhaps both. Plus, we just hosted that trade delegation.”
Quinn scribbled down a few more notes. “I’ll prioritize those who aren’t born Rowans but who live here, as well as get a list of all recent visitors to the house.”
She sighed. “Is that the entirety of your list of potential poisoners?”
“No. We can’t eliminate humans either. For similar reasons.”
She rolled her eyes. “Humans don’t magic. How could they see me as a threat?”
“For the same reasons the fae or shifters might. They might fear your gift could upset the power balance between the races.”
“So basically, you’re implying everyone might want me dead?”
“Potentially.”
“Well, then, I’m lucky to have the best of the enforcers here to solve the mystery.”
“Best might overstate my status a tad, but we will solve this.”
“Then you accept my demand to work together?”
“We have met.” He shook his head, apparently resigned to her request. “I know better than to try to change your disposition. I agree to your terms.”
“Good. I didn’t want to have to call your chief to force your hand.”
He barked out a laugh. “She’s too fond of you to refuse. One day you must tell me how you managed to cozy up to her.”
She could have explained how she’d talked her mother, Duchess Maura, into sending Chief Elowen a shipment of enchanted silken cloaks as a thank you. The cloaks blended into the background, hiding whomever was wearing them as long as they held still. A perfect gift for enforcers.
Becka calculated that with their donation Elowen would put House Rowan’s requests for aid at the top of her list. When the chief had replied with a thank you note including her direct line, Becka knew they had an understanding.
Quinn’s timely return confirmed her instincts had been right, but she didn’t want to delve into that now.
“One day I will.”
“Oh, I almost forgot. I brought you some not-so-light reading material.” He reached into an interior pocket in his jacket and presented an antique leather-bound book to her. “We discovered this in the case archives. I wanted to get your opinion on it.”
Becka reached out for the book, a wave of pressure hitting her skull like a mini-shockwave, and she swooned but retained her grip on the book.
“Sorry, I should have warned you.”
She shook her head. “It’s not a surprise.” Cracking open the tome, Becka let out a long, slow whistle. “You said you found this in old case archives? Those would be for Shadow-Dweller cases?”
“What tipped you off?”
“It’s page after page of the same symbols I found on Tesse’s neck. Has anyone developed a translation?”
He shook his head. “It’s something the enforcers have worked on for decades. We’ve had linguistics specialists look at them. We’ve run the different documents through code-breaking algos. We’ve tried everything we can think of, and so far, nothing has worked. It’s almost as if they’re art and not words at all. Which is why I brought it to you. I hoped you might have some unique insight.”
“I’ll see if I can figure anything out. Aren’t you worried I might break it with my ability?”
“At this point we’ve exhausted our options. We have copies of what’s on the pages, just in case something happens to the original. We’d prefer you not break it, but even if you do that will tell us something.”
“Well, then, let’s hope I find something.”
Becka paged through the tome, thinking about their conversation. She almost couldn’t believe Quinn had returned, but here he was right in front of her. She wanted to talk about her feelings with Quinn, especially since they would now be working together to solve the poisoning. Based on their earlier conversation about her continuing engagement to Alain, Becka shouldn’t even be thinking about wanting to kiss Quinn or how good he smelled. Much less about how his muscles rippled underneath the fabric of his linen shirt and jacket.
Oh boy.
She took a deep breath and crossed her arms, rubbing the flesh of her biceps. The shifters and their talk of being comfortable in one’s own skin was getting to her. If she could be honest with Maura about not wanting to stay at House Rowan and not feeling accepted, then why couldn’t she be direct with Quinn?
Becka knew the reason. She’d experienced rejection all of her life. She’d learned to parry the blows and rebound gracefully. But she’d never explored an intimate relationship with someone else before. Nothing beyond having fun in the moment.
Besides, Quinn had already shut her down.
Quinn chuckled. “Hmm. I’m curious what you’re chewing on over there.”
Damn detective.
She gave him the side-eye. “What do you mean?” She bit her lip, and then stopped, flustered. Why was it so difficult to say out loud?
“You appear to be working yourself up to something,” he said. “You’ve never been one to hold back your thoughts, so this one has to be a doozy.”
She darted a glance his way and blew out slowly. “I suppose it is a doozy.”
Becka had survived, and thrived, though so many hardships. Being declared ungifted. Exile. Tesse’s death. And she knew she’d find a way to thrive at House Rowan too… somehow. Right?
Surely, she could jus
t ask Quinn if he returned her affections? In this new territory, unsure of herself and lost in her thoughts, Becka faltered.
He frowned in her general direction, and then stood up. “I should be going. I’ll check in with you tomorrow on any new developments.”
“Wait.” She stood up, leaving the book on the divan. “You’re not going to stay with me this time?”
He raised a brow and walked towards the door, Becka following at his heels. “You have your shifter guards now, and I seriously doubt your mother would approve of an enforcer having unrestricted access to her heir.”
There was the sound of conversation at her door, and Quinn paused and stiffened.
“Don’t worry about my guards.”
He tucked away his notebook in his jacket. “No?”
Becka shrugged her shoulders. “I regularly bribe them with whiskey from the cellars.”
He shook his head. “Of course you do. Fair eve, Lady Becka.”
Quinn turned to go, and, not wanting to miss her opportunity, Becka sprang into action. She rushed toward him, and he turned to her, confusion knitting his brows. She threw her arms around his neck and captured his lips with her own, the near electric contact instantly radiating throughout her body.
Quinn stood so still Becka feared she’d overstepped. Then, he kissed her back, and for a few stolen moments she was lost in his touch. She pulled back, sucking in a breath between damp lips. Their eyes met again, a silent admission hanging in the air between them, frustration warring with anger in his eyes.
“Your awkward behavior now makes more sense,” he said, a sad wisp of a smile on his lips.
“I’m tired of not being able to have what I want,” she whispered.
The golden burnished sheen of his eyes flashed, and he regarded her a moment, as if seeing her in an entirely new light.
For a few moments of shared silence between them, the stresses of House Rowan, the poisoning, and even the lurking Shadow-Dwellers all faded away, replaced with the pounding of her heartbeat, the feel of him pressed against her, and a tingling that suffused her entire being.
“As much as I wish things were otherwise,” Quinn reached up to disentangle her arms from around his neck, “this is a complication neither one of us can afford.”
She shrugged, refusing to let go. “In fairness, my entire life has been complicated for a while now.”
“But this… complication of ours… has a lot of reasons it can’t happen.”
She opened her mouth to respond and then snapped it shut. She let out a groan. “I told you, I’m working on a fix for that.”
“I’m sure you are, but you’re back in the world of the fae. You can no longer make up your own rules.”
She didn’t entirely know what she’d started, but it felt true to herself, and she’d done too little of that lately, even if Quinn was upset with her.
Just then, her door flew open and Duchess Maura stomped into the room, her lips already pursed in disapproval, and an icy glint in her gaze that promised there would be a reckoning.
Quinn roughly pushed Becka away, a flash of anger in his eyes which was squarely directed at her as he turned towards Maura.
Chapter 7
Becka’s shifter guards peeked into the room briefly, took in the scene, but then wisely withdrew. Becka had the impression Maura’s appraising gaze could see straight through her.
“I would ask what’s going on here,” Maura said, her fiery stare flitting back and forth between Becka and Quinn. “But I can see well enough with my own eyes.”
“Duchess,” Quinn said, with a perfunctory bow. “I was questioning Becka on the poisoning and was just now leaving.”
She turned to Quinn. Maura looked like she hadn’t slept in days, and considering the circumstances, she might not have. “I expect you have all the information you need?”
Quinn gave a single nod.
“I will make sure to reach out to Chief Elowen and mention the attention you’ve devoted to this case.”
Becka could almost hear Quinn’s clenched jaw pop. “I’d thank you to do so,” he replied.
Becka could only imagine what Maura planned to say to Quinn’s boss. Will he still have a job when Maura is done? Oh no, will she get him removed from the case?
“Move along, then,” Maura snapped, motioning Quinn towards the door. “And close the door after you.”
He cast a single glowering glance back Becka’s way, seeming to say this is why things are impossible between us, then he turned and strode out the door, closing it behind him.
“It seems my flawless timing is on point,” Maura said. “Why don’t you have a seat? I have a few things on my mind, and I would hate to tire you out.”
Considering her worn appearance, Maura was one to talk. Deflated, Becka walked back over to the divan and slumped down onto it.
Maura sat down across from her on the chair Quinn had been using. Instead of lighting directly into the lecture Becka knew was coming, Maura took a few deep breaths.
Becka hoped Maura was composing herself instead of gearing up. The heated flush across Maura’s cheeks was something Becka hadn’t seen the likes of before. Maura always kept her wits about her, the epitome of fae control.
Becka had a sense that Maura’s finely honed exterior was teetering on the edge of a precipice. If there’d been a day to piss off her mother, this was not it.
“I came here to discuss family business with you,” Maura said, her voice measured and controlled. “But instead, I must express how profoundly upset and disappointed I am with you.”
“Maura…”
“It would be unwise to interrupt me, daughter,” Maura said, cutting her off, and Becka held her tongue. “House Rowan has afforded you broad freedoms. I acknowledge returning to the fold after being gone for eight years is traumatic in its own way. Plus, you’ve been gifted with a power that is problematic at best. It’s why I haven’t forced your hand to move forward with the marriage.
“Considering what you’ve been through, growing up away from the fold as you did and returning under such duress, your father and I felt it wise to handle you gently. We thought that, over time, you would embrace our way of life. Our customs. Our sensibilities.”
Although Maura wasn’t precisely wrong, her summary shortchanged Becka’s experience, telling rather than asking how she was doing or feeling. They sat mere feet apart, and yet Becka didn’t feel seen or understood. She felt like the receiver of a practiced speech.
“I’m grateful for your patience,” Becka replied. “This has been an emotionally and physically exhausting time overshadowed by the trauma of my return.”
Maura nodded. “It’s only been a few months to process the change and heal, for both you and the house, but your position as our heir and the future that comes with it is something you need to come to terms with. I must ask, are you under the impression that your circumstances will fundamentally change?”
“Well…” Becka replied. Am I?
“Let me be absolutely clear with you. As a gifted fae, you are bound by law to reside within fae territories. That means, for all intents and purposes, living here with your family at House Rowan or on assignment on jobs for the house. Do you understand that this is not something within any of our powers to change?”
“Of course I know that,” Becka answered. There was knowing and then there was knowing. Did she understand the legalities of being a guilded fae? Certainly. Had she digested that those same rules now applied to herself?
Indigestion roiled in her stomach. She didn’t want to accept the new order. It felt like she might lose all of her hopes and dreams for the future if she gave in to being heir, and all it entailed.
“You may know it, but I doubt you’ve fully accepted it.” Becka started to interrupt, but Maura raised a hand and waved her off. “I see now that our approach has been flawed. We have been too lax with you when instead you need more structure, even if you do not realize it yourself.”
“That�
��s the exact opposite of what I need,” Becka insisted. “If anything, I need more freedom, not less! I’m stifled here! I don’t want to marry Alain. I want to work at my internship and I still want to get my doctorate. And I want to be able to spend time with Quinn.”
“I do not think you have any idea what you need. You are the heir to House Rowan now. Lucky for you, I am well-motivated to provide you the direction you appear to be craving.”
Becka’s stomach sank. This Maura was not a woman she could reason with. This was a Maura who had almost lost her husband and eldest living child and would not suffer any fools. This Maura was on a mission.
“It is far past time that you learn the duties of your station. Tesse used to attend council meetings and so shall you. It’s what she would have wanted.”
The mention of her sister’s name wrenched at her heart. “It’s not fair of you to use her name as leverage over me!”
“I am past attempting to be gentle with you, Becka. If Tesse could see you now, she would be embarrassed on your behalf.”
“Ha!” Becka barked out a humorless laugh. “Goes to show how little you knew her. Tesse loved hearing about my life! She would never have wanted me to change.”
Maura’s eyes were filled with rage. Whether from Becka’s refusal to comply or her statement on Tesse, she had no idea.
“No doubt Tesse indulged you, because you were an unguilded outcast. No doubt your tales of city life were a thrill to hear. No doubt she missed seeing her twin every day and loved to simply hear your voice and see your words. But Tesse understood the expectations upon her and her role in the family. Never once did she falter in fulfilling those duties.”
Becka’s knowledge of Tesse had been limited to their calls and a single meeting in the city years ago. Although Tesse had shared her life with her and groused about the strictures of fae society, she’d never spoken of bucking tradition. Only now did Becka realize that, for all that Tesse shared her thoughts with Becka, her sister’s behavior had been exemplary. The realization hit her right in the solar plexus. Perhaps Maura was right? Would Tesse have been appalled over Becka’s continuing unwillingness to conform? How had she never asked herself this before?
Poisoned Shadow: An Urban Fantasy Supernatural Detective Mystery (The Shadow Series Book 2) Page 6