Damon closes his eyes and shakes his head and he reaches for my wrist, but I pull back.
“Don’t touch me,” I snap.
“Come outside with me so we can talk.”
“I ain't goin’ anywhere with you.”
“Bella, we need to talk about this, it isn’t what you think.”
“Oh it ain't? She ain't tryin’ to get back with you? She didn’t text you to meetup? You weren’t just with her!” I yell pushing his chest.
He grabs my wrist and lifts me over his shoulder carrying me out of the bar.
“Put me down you big oaf! I ain't a doll!”
We get to the sidewalk and he puts me down on my feet and I push against his chest.
“You can’t just manhandle me into talkin’ to you!”
“Then stand still and stop talking for a fuckin’ minute and let me speak!” he yells.
I open my mouth and shut it, my temper rising. I never thought I had the Gavinwood anger, but right now I feel it simmering.
“Why didn’t you tell me about her? Why didn’t you just tell me she texted you, that she wanted you back?”
“Because it’s complicated Bella. The tabloids painted me in a terrible light, I had to talk with her, figure this out. Have you seen them today? Me and you, the happy couple are splashed all over them supposedly while I was with Brynn. It's a lie, but no one cares about the truth.”
“You’re happy in a relationship, why does it matter what they say?”
“Because it's hurting me and everything I've been working for. I’ve been losing endorsements left and right. Brynn looks like the poor woman I left behind while I was shackin’ up with you in Mexico!”
“I see, so team up with the devil and leave behind the angel. That makes sense. Take me home or I’ll take a cab,” I say walking towards the street.
“Get in my truck,” he says opening the passenger door.
I hop up, crossing my arms over my chest and wait for Damon to get in. He gets in his seat and reaches an arm across me and I slap it.
“I am not havin’ sex with you after-”
“I’m buckling you up.”
I sit back and feel the seatbelt stretch across my chest and I huff out a breath. He starts the truck and starts to drive but in the opposite direction of my apartment.
“Damon where the hell are you takin’ me?”
“To my apartment. I’m not leaving you tonight Bella. You’re drunk and you’re mad and I need you to understand.”
“Understand what? That you lied to me? Baseball stuff? That ain't baseball stuff Damon. That you shut me out? You called Nico to tell him the truth, but I wasn’t good enough for it? Or I’m still just your beneficial fuckfriend and not really your girl?”
“That’s not what I meant to do Bella. I...I told you I’m new at this.”
“New at what, tellin’ the truth? That’s not a relationship quality Damon, it’s just a human one. They teach you that when you’re like two, make sure you always tell the truth, don’t give me that shit.”
“Okay!” he yells, “I fucked up, okay? I’m sorry I should have told you the truth.”
“Yeah, you should have,” I say my voice hard.
We sit in silence the rest of the way to his apartment and when Damon puts the car in park, I storm out, slamming the door behind me. I walk through the lobby to the elevator and push the up button.
“Can you wait a second,” he says running up behind me.
I turn around quickly stopping Damon in his tracks.
“I’ve been waitin’!”
The elevator doors open and we step inside. He presses the button for his floor and I turn towards him, pushing his chest again forcing him to look at me. The doors close and the elevator jerks upward.
“I’ve waited all day for you to prove me wrong. To prove to me that I was just actin’ crazy. I was givin’ you the benefit of the doubt even though all my insecurities, the deja vu I felt with Connor, all of that tried to tell me you were hurtin’ me. I didn’t listen to any of it until Nico told me where you were. I was an idiot, I am an idiot because despite it all I love you! I love you so fuckin’ much Damon and you just broke-”
He grabs my cheeks pushing his lips into me, backing us against the wall. I’m frantic with the need to touch him, the need to punch him, the need to confess my love for him all over again and the need to just fuck him out of my system one last time.
This is going to destroy me, every last minute of it but I need it. I need to feel the connection to him, to the one thing that was real in my life, the thing that brought this version of myself out of me, even if it’s getting torn away.
“Bella, I-”
The elevator doors open, cutting off his words and he lifts me in his arms, my legs wrapping around him as his lips crash down on my neck, kissing from behind one ear across to the other.
He slams us against the nearest wall, our lips frantically moving against each other.
Cheek, neck, ear, shoulder. His lips latching on to any part of my body he can get at.
He starts to walk down the hall again, reaching into his front pocket for something. In a few seconds we are inside his apartment and my body is pressed against the back of the door.
“You’re so beautiful,” he says kissing me swiftly on my lips.
“Shut up Damon, don’t talk,” I say biting his bottom lip.
I tug it as my hands go down between us unbuckling his jeans. I kiss behind his ear and nip the spot on his neck above his collarbone that drives him insane. His zipper is down and I pull his erection out of his pants as I unhook my legs and slide down to my feet.
Damon’s hands are cupping my cheeks as his mouth takes from mine. I give him everything I have because I know this is the last time.
I push those thoughts to the back of my mind as I quickly drop my jeans and struggle with my thong. I take the material in my hands, shredding my own panties and jump back into Damon’s arms.
I lift my arms over my head, and he braces me against the door with his thighs, pulling my shirt off and throwing it to the floor. I grab his length with my hand, guiding it to my center and feel my heart break into a million pieces as he slides into me.
This can’t be it. This bliss, this calm that I feel when our bodies are connected can’t be the end. I want to feel like this forever, we should be able to feel like this for longer than these past months. It wasn’t enough, it never would have been enough. One lifetime of this man connecting with me, wouldn’t even come close to satisfying this yearning, this obsession.
“Fuck me Damon, don’t be gentle,” I command digging my nails into his shoulders.
“Shit,” he growls pumping into me. “You like this? You want it like this, huh? Dirty like you think you are?”
My back is slamming against the door, thumping loudly as he pistons inside me.
“Shut up,” I snap.
“This is all you were to me, weren’t you? How fast you’ve given up. It was all just for my cock.”
“Fuck you,” I seethe.
I wrap my legs tighter around him, digging my heels into his ass as I writhe on top of him, chasing my own release.
He laughs as he grabs my ass, squeezing it tightly and I whimper.
“I think you’ve been doin’ a fine job of that angel,” he says his voice breathless.
“You’re right, this is all this was Johnson,” I say my own voice breathless. “A good fuck whenever it was convenient for us.”
He slams me hard into the door and I groan, his tip hitting my spot and he does it again, my orgasm right on the brink. I hold it off not wanting this to end yet.
“You think you can get another man to make you come like this Gavinwood?” he whispers in my ear.
He pounds into me two more times and I explode on him, shaking like a leaf as my orgasm subsides.
He continues to pump into me and my sensitive walls start to climb towards another release.
“Answer me,” he growls, con
tinuing his punishing thrusts.
“You think you’re the only man that has ever made me come? Don’t flatter yourse-ohhhhh.”
Damon cuts off my rant with his thumb against my clit and I scream out another orgasm, as my world explodes all around us. He drops me to my feet as he pulls out of me and wraps his hand around himself, squeezing his release into his hand, his juices dripping off the side and my mouth itching to taste him.
I refrain and slump down to the floor, feeling a tear threaten to escape.
“Angel…”
“Don’t you dare,” I snap getting to my feet. “Don’t angel me, Johnson. You don’t get to do that,” I say gritting my teeth.
I reach for my jeans and t shirt on the floor and walk towards the bedroom, putting my clothes back on quickly and getting into bed.
“Did I hurt you?” he asks softly as I pull the covers over my head.
“Yes,” I whisper, the tears already starting to fall.
“I’m sorry, I tried to be gentle but-”
“Not the sex Damon, my heart. You hurt my heart, you promised you wouldn’t.”
I don’t hear his response because my eyes close and sleep takes me.
---
I awake to the sound of the shower running and I blink a couple of times getting my bearings.
Damon’s apartment. Memories of last night come rushing back to me and I kick myself for sleeping with him again.
I quickly get out of bed, walking briskly to the front foyer, reaching for my shoes and purse. I make sure my wallet and phone are inside and turn on my Uber app, calling myself a ride. I take one last look back at his place, seeing my shredded panties on the floor and hold back my tears. That's probably what my heart looks like, barely beating in my chest.
I silently say goodbye to Damon as I slip outside and wait for the car, the car that will drive me away from the only man that ever made me feel. The only man that ever made me want. The one that made my fears float away and made me see happiness, true, raw happiness. Until that same man broke me, in the same breath.
Chapter 22
Damon
I glance down at my phone and nothing. Not a god damned word. She has a really annoying habit of doing this. I board the flight to San Francisco with the rest of the team and slam my hand on the seat in front of me.
“Fuck!” I groan.
“She’ll call man,” Johnny says slapping me on the shoulder.
I nod and shut my phone knowing full well that when I was buried inside her last night it was the last time. I broke her trust and even though I went to see Brynn last night to tell her I’ve moved on with Bella and we needed to put an end to this tabloid bullshit, I should have told her. I should have let her in on my plan and I shouldn’t have shut her out.
Connor did this shit too. He lied to her, went behind her back, probably met up with ex-girlfriends too. Shit, I’m no better than that douchebag. I didn’t cheat, but I might as well have. I broke her trust before we even got started. I close my eyes and lean my head back, trying to figure out a way to fix this shit show I created.
Bella
“Bella open this damned door or so help me God I’ll have Hulk come and break it down for me.”
“Go away!” I say putting the pillow back over my head.
I feel my phone buzz next to me in bed and I scramble to answer it, my heart dropping to my stomach when I see it isn’t Damon.
“What’s up DJ?” I answer.
“Bella what the hell is wrong with you? You sound like shit.”
“Oh well thank you, what every girl wants to hear.”
“I’m sorry. What happened, did someone hurt you?” he says the Gavinwood edge seeping out of his voice.
“I’m fine. What are you up to?”
“I have a couple days off this weekend, I was thinkin’ of comin’ and visitin’. You around?”
I think for a moment and realize this may be the out I need to take a breather and get myself together.
“Actually, I haven’t been to Texas in a while. Is it okay if I come and visit?”
“You don’t have practice? Work?”
“I can get Normani to handle things for a couple days and I don’t go back to Florida for another couple of weeks.”
“Alright, yeah that would be cool. Ya gonna drive?”
“Yeah, I could use the miles to think.”
“You comin’ to visit or you comin’ because you’re runnin’ away from somethin’?”
“Does it make a difference? I’m comin’ either way.”
“Fine. Ya know I’ll just get ya drunk and get the story outta ya.”
“I learned my lesson the first time. I ain’t drinkin’ with you ever again,” I say laughing, remembering the one night I thought I could keep up with my brother and his teammates at a rookie ball party.
“I’ll get the guest room ready.”
“Thank you Dev.”
“No need to thank me. Safe drive, love ya.”
I hang up the phone and walk towards my door, unlocking it and walking out to the kitchen.
“She lives!” Lacey says throwing her hands in the air.
“I’m goin’ to Texas this weekend. Gonna stay with Dev for a couple days.”
Lacey nods and her phone buzzes in her hand and she looks down, her eyes widen, and she puts it behind her on the counter quickly, taking a glance up at me.
“You uh...hungry? I can make ya somethin’?”
“Lacey, what are you hidin’? You don’t even know where the skillets are in this place,” I ask crossing my arms over my chest.
“Nothin’! When are ya leavin’, thats a good plan actually maybe I’ll join ya.”
“What is it Lace? What’s goin’ on?”
She exhales and shakes her head taking her phone off the counter and turning it on, showing me the screen. The need to vomit, scream and cry all slam into me at once as I stare at the article.
Damon Johnson, Brynn Roberts Reconnecting? The former couple take to the streets of San Francisco trying to recapture their old flame.
Damon is walking side by side with Brynn, his hand on the small of her back. She has a big smile on her face, I want to smack it off.
“Screw this, I’m gettin’ outta here now. Let me pack a bag. Can you stay? Hold down the fort, let Normani know? I’ll be back after the weekend, I need to clear my head.”
Lacey nods and follows me into my bedroom, helping me throw clothes into a backpack.
I know my brother could make me feel better but there's one other person I need to see right now. I grab my phone dialing it and hearing her soft voice on the first ring.
“Hi baby, what's goin’ on?”
“Mama…” I say my voice breaking.
“Come home baby. I'll be waitin’ on the porch.”
I hang up, give Lacey a hug and make my way to my truck. I put it in drive and pull out of the spot, driving far away from the memories of Damon that fill my apartment. If only I could drive away from my heart.
Chapter 23
Bella
I pull my truck into the drive of my parent’s house and get out. I run to the porch, my mama wrapping me in a tight hug and I swear a mama's love can fix anything. Her love wraps me in a bulletproof blanket that makes me feel like nothing bad can touch me, nothing can hurt me.
“Come baby. Let me fix ya somethin’ to eat. Your daddy brought Avery over to Grandpa Hanks. It's just us tonight, okay?”
“Thank you Mama.”
I follow her into the kitchen sitting at the table as she works.
“How did you do this Mama, raise me and Devin with a broken heart? Function all those years without breakin’ down?”
She turns slowly towards ne, a sad smile on her face.
“Baby I broke down, more than I care to admit. I just never let y'all see it.”
“Why?”
“Because I thought that's what bein’ a strong mama meant. Keepin’ it together every second of everyday and only feelin
’ behind closed doors.”
“What changed?”
“Y’all did. You grew up and I saw it in your brother. He didn't know how to deal with his emotions because I never did. I never showed y’all that it was okay to feel, okay to be upset and show it. It ain't about hidin’ your downfalls, it's about what you do after, that's what matters. Do you pick yourself up after and get stronger or do ya let it keep ya down?”
Ballers with Benefits (Double Play Series Book 3) Page 23