“Excuse me?”
“Hear me out.”
“Oh, I’m going to. And then we’re going to sit down, and I’m going to force some coffee on you. Because this must be one of the side effects of you not having coffee.”
“I’ve had coffee today. And that’s my problem.”
“Well, maybe we’ll give you some fucking decaf. A fake boyfriend? And isn’t the term beard like the exact opposite of what you’re doing? And antiquated?”
“Maybe. But we’re making it ours. And people totally use it.”
“Not in common conversation. Hence why I had no idea what you actually meant. Are you insane? Devin is my best friend.”
“Yes. And that’s a problem.”
“My best fucking friend.”
And, yeah, I had come really hard thinking about her, but I wasn’t going to say that. In fact, it never needed to be said. We would never mention that to Devin. Ever. Because I liked my nuts exactly where they were.
“Okay, I didn’t really think it out. You were just the first person I thought of.” A lovely blush spread over her cheeks, and I had to wonder exactly why I was the first person to come to mind and not Tobey.
I did not want to preen at that. I would not preen at that.
What the fuck was wrong with me?
“Okay, I need you to explain exactly what happened. Use small words and go slowly. Short sentences. Why the fuck do you need a fake relationship? Is it because of Tobey? Because you don’t need to prove anything to that fuckhead or anyone else.”
“Stop calling him names.”
“He made you cry. I can call him whatever the fuck I want.” I hadn’t meant to put that much vehemence in my tone, but her eyes widened, and her mouth parted.
“Sorry. He made you cry. And I’m not okay with that. I don’t like how he treated you, and I don’t like the way you keep beating yourself up over it. You’re allowed to have feelings. You’re allowed to love somebody.” Not that I thought it was actually love, but I was in no way qualified to go into someone’s feelings. For all I knew, Amelia really loved the asshole.
“Tucker.”
“Don’t Tucker me. I don’t like the way he treated you. So, he’s always going to be an asshole in my eyes. You do not need to bring up a fake relationship and pretend that you’re happy or doing better than he is or whatever you’re trying to do here. You simply need to be yourself, and that will prove that. He’ll see what he’s missing. Because he knows he’s missing a damn fine thing with you. And not just being your friend. You know that. Everybody should know that.”
I hadn’t meant to say all that. And from the look in her eyes, she hadn’t expected me to say it either.
Well, good. It seemed I was crossing all the lines. Might as well be her fake boyfriend, too, right?
No. Because if I did that, my cock would want to do the thinking. And that was not something I could allow. Ever.
“It’s not about Tobey. Well, it is, but it’s not for Tobey. Let me explain.”
“You better, or I really am going to give you that fucking coffee.”
She laughed and shook her head. She put her hands on her head, then moved them over her face and screamed into them.
“Feel better?”
“A little.”
“Good. Because if you don’t mind, I might do the same in a little bit if you don’t explain.”
She grinned, and it went to her eyes this time. Look at that. Progress. I only had to act like a complete fool to make her happier. That was good to know. I liked happy Carrs. They were my family. Amelia was practically my sister.
And I really needed to remember that.
“Okay. This is what happened. Everybody has been so accommodating. Not you. Well, you’ve been accommodating, too, and you’ve been sweet. But you’ve also been fun. A little more in your face than usual with me, but you’ve always been a great guy. And you’re treating me like normal. Like a friend.”
“Of course, I am. That’s what I said I was going to do.”
She didn’t need to know about my dreams. Didn’t need to know that I’d jacked off thinking about her. Because that was horrible. And I wasn’t going to do it again.
I hadn’t done it again.
I would not do it again later, either, damn it.
“Well, not everyone’s the same. Oh, they try to be. But I see the pity. They want to help and make me feel better. Well, my brothers are a little different. The three of them just want to growl and beat the shit out of Tobey.”
“And I’m okay with that.”
“Tucker.”
“What? I’m only being honest here.”
“Anyway,” she said, clearly exasperated with me. Good, because I was feeling pretty much the same. “It’s Erin and Zoey.”
“What did they do?” I asked, a little worried.
“They’re amazing. I love them. And they just want me to be happy, but I think they got it in their heads that I would be happiest if I got over Tobey.”
My brows rose straight to my hairline. “And?”
“And they talked about me to some guy named Jace.”
“Jace, wait. I know that name.” I frowned, trying to think back. “Tall guy, wide shoulders, blond hair, and tattoos?”
“You know him?”
“Yeah, he’s a firefighter. Great guy.” And I kind of hated him a little. Why did I hate him?
“Well, that’s good. Anyway, I don’t know how it happened, but the girls were talking to him and mentioned me and said they wanted to set us up on a blind date.”
Now I wanted to rip Jace’s head from his body.
That was a strange reaction. I didn’t do serious relationships. I didn’t do relationships at all. That meant that whatever the fuck was going on with me right then had nothing to do with Amelia. I was clearly losing my damn mind.
“So, you don’t want to go on a date with him?” I asked, cautious.
“No. I don’t know. I just want some time. And I know it’s stupid. I should’ve simply said that I wasn’t ready to date. They would’ve understood. But I didn’t. Instead, I said I was dating someone.” And then it clicked.
“You said you were dating me.” I looked down at my phone, a little afraid that Devin hadn’t called me. Maybe he was already on his way with a hatchet.
That’s what happened in movies, right? Hell, maybe I should change my address.
“Everything’s going to be fine. But I need you to pretend for a little bit. We’ll make sure everyone knows it’s casual. I need to figure out what I want, and I can’t do that if everybody’s worrying about me.”
“Amelia.”
“Please. I’m tired of the pity. You don’t pity me.”
“Because you don’t need it. You need to kick his ass.”
“Thanks for that. But, seriously. Go out with me.”
“Amelia.”
“I’m not saying sex.”
I paused. Grinning. I couldn’t help it. “No sex?” I purred.
“Tucker.”
“I’m just saying. Sex could help.” I was not thinking about having sex with her. Totally not thinking about it. Yes, I was thinking about it. Horrible.
“Okay, Tucker. I really need your help. I’m tired. I want to feel normal again.”
I ran my hands through my hair and then screamed into them as she had earlier. She let out a forced laugh, and then I stood up and paced like she had before.
“If I do this, and that’s a big fucking if, that means you have to let me hold your hand. You have to let me be near you. You’re going to make me act like something we’re not in front of my best friends. You’re basically forcing me to lie to him. My best fucking friend and the rest of the family I chose for myself. And I don’t know what to do about that. Because you want a fake relationship? How far does that go? Are we only dating in front of them? Will we go on dates where people actually see us? Or post on social media? What does all of this mean?”
“I don’t know.
I don’t know anything. I just said it, and now I have to deal with it. I’ll tell them I lied.”
I was making a stupid choice. This was such a stupid decision. But I hated seeing her like this.
If it helped her, I’d be fine. Devin would understand—at least he would later. We would explain everything to him once she’d had some time. He would get it. He had to.
“I should pick someone else.”
I leveled my gaze on her and growled, “No. It will be me.”
Fuck, what was wrong with me?
“Because I don’t want anyone else taking advantage of you,” I added. See, that was fine.
“Okay. We can do this. For a little bit. Until I feel normal. And then we’ll explain to everyone what happened. They won’t be angry. They can’t be. I don’t want them to be mad at you.”
“I’ll do this,” I said again, “but I want something in return.”
“What?” she asked, clearly leery.
“I don’t know yet.”
“Well, that sounds dangerous.”
I looked at her then, knowing we were probably making a horrible mistake. But if she needed this, I’d figure out a way to make it work. Her brothers would understand eventually. They would realize that their little sister needed some space, and if I had to be the person to help her with that, then I would be.
I just hoped that nobody got hurt in the fallout.
“Amelia, baby, all of this is dangerous.”
Though I had a feeling she wasn’t the one in the line of fire this time.
Chapter 9
Amelia
* * *
“What was I thinking?”
Oh. That’s right. I hadn’t been thinking. I’d been overwhelmed and did some stupid shit. That’s what happened when you didn’t think things through. Instead of acting like a rational adult, someone who made reasonable decisions, I had thrown out a fake relationship that would probably fuck everything up.
Great going, Amelia. You’re totally winning at life.
“I can do this. It’s not going to be a big deal. It’s only a little date. Not even a real one.”
Why was I even talking to myself in the mirror?
Oh, yeah, because Tucker would be here any minute to pick me up for our fake date. One that wouldn’t even be a real date because we’d be with my family.
Because, of course, I, Amelia Carr, had to have my first fake date with my fake boyfriend at a family barbecue. All because I needed to show him around and act like everything was fine, and everything was cool, and nothing is going to go crazy.
That was so not right.
I was clearly losing my mind, especially if I kept talking to myself. Someone was probably going to show up and take me away.
Then there would be nothing left. Only an empty shell of the person that once was. A life full of meaningless choices and horrible mistakes.
Great, now I just needed to wax poetic and call it a day.
I was pretty sure that Devin had orchestrated this whole family barbecue thing as a way to figure out exactly what was going on with Tucker and me, but I wasn’t sure.
The fact that he hadn’t even asked me about it since Erin and Zoey found out, worried me. What would happen to Tucker once the two of them were alone?
And what would happen to us if he found out the truth?
Because they needed to know the truth. I didn’t know if I could tell them tonight, though. I hated lying to them. But I also didn’t want to feel like the defunct baby sister who kept making mistakes, over and over again. I just wanted a little time where I could feel like I was doing something right.
But I was happy, and I was getting over Tobey, and everything was fine. The fact that I didn’t think about Tobey every five minutes anymore or even as my best friend meant something. Maybe I was getting better. Perhaps I was healing. But I needed more time without those pitying looks.
And if Tucker could help me, then I would deal with the consequences. And I would do everything in my power to make sure he didn’t have to deal with them.
The doorbell rang, and I quickly looked myself over in the mirror one more time, making sure that my boots were zipped up to my knees, and my boobs weren’t too far out of my shirt. I didn’t need to actually show the goods on this date because…number one, it wasn’t a date. And number two, it was Tucker. Plus, going to a family event looking like a hooker probably wasn’t the best idea.
Not that I ever looked like a hooker, but…
I ran towards the door and opened it, letting out a relieved breath that Tucker was actually here. I’d been a little worried that he would say no at the last minute and cancel. I honestly wouldn’t have blamed him.
“You made it.”
Tucker stuck his hands into his jeans’ pockets and shrugged, looking far hotter than he should. I couldn’t help but notice the way his thighs filled out his jeans, or how his leather jacket hugged his broad shoulders. I really needed to stop looking at him like that. It wasn’t good for me, wasn’t good for either of us. And the back and forth in my mind was going to give me a complex. I already had enough of those.
“I said I’d be here. So, here I am. Are you sure you want to do this?”
“I don’t know. I think I have to.”
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Seriously. You want to hang out here and ignore everything? We can totally do that.”
“No, I can’t. I love my family. And they love me.”
“Then why do I need to be your beard, Amelia?”
“Now you’re using the word.”
He stepped into the house even though I hadn’t actually invited him in. That’s what happened when I was a little off. I became rude.
“I don’t know. I don’t want them to worry about me. Can I just have a minute where I don’t have to keep being that sister?”
“They don’t think of you like that. They love you.”
“You say that, and yet they were the ones always worried that I was making a mistake by not being with Tobey. Or by being with him. And then look what happened.”
“But that’s not your fault.”
“We can agree to disagree that it was sort of my fault.”
He sighed. “I’m here for you. I said I would be. Just make sure you put ice on my bruises once your brother kicks my ass.”
“He’s not going to hurt you,” I said quickly, wincing. “Though he might. He’s strong. I really should have used someone else.”
Tucker narrowed his eyes. “No. You shouldn’t have. Because someone else would have taken advantage. And I won’t do that. I’m just going to make sure that everyone knows you’re fine and that we’re keeping this casual. And that I am in no way going to hurt their precious baby sister.”
For some reason, that sent warm flutters down into my stomach, but I quickly brushed them away. I put on my leather jacket and pulled my purse over my shoulder. “I really wish they would stop calling me their precious baby sister. I’m not precious.”
Tucker reached out and slid a piece of hair behind my shoulder, the wisp of it delicate on my skin. He was so gentle with me. As if I were indeed precious. “Baby, you are. At least, to them.”
I looked at his eyes, swallowing hard. Damn it. He was really good at that smooth-talking thing. No wonder all the women fell for him. Wasn’t going to be me, though. No, thank you.
“Okay. Let’s just get this over with,” I said quickly, pushing past him to the door.
“Not so fast,” he said, putting his hand on the door to block me.
“What? Did I forget something?”
“Yeah. Like how we’re dating. The story. How many lies I’m supposed to tell my best friend. Because I really shouldn’t be lying to him at all, you know.”
I heard the guilt in his voice, and I knew he was doing this for me. Only I didn’t know why. And that worried me. But then I remembered the looks on everyone’s faces. The pity. And it was just a little lie. Maybe if we went on enough fa
ke dates, it would even become real. At least in terms of the technicalities. Because there would be no feelings involved. We were already casual. A little more wouldn’t be that far off the mark.
“I don’t know. Maybe keep it as real as possible?”
“So…say I saw your boobs after you threw up and couldn’t keep my hands off you?”
Yes, completely deadpan.
I put my hands on my face and screamed into them. “Oh my God. We’re never telling that story.”
“Mmm, I might. Maybe not to your brothers because they may actually kill me, but to someone.” He grinned as I lowered my hands and punched him in the stomach.
Sadly, I only hurt my hand, he was that solid. I shook it off. “How many days do you work out? It’s ridiculous. Don’t you have a full-time job?”
“I do. One that I put in far too many hours for.” He rubbed his stomach and then smiled. I hated that smile. Actually, maybe I kind of liked it. “I’m just blessed with good genes, though I do work out a lot. But, okay. We’ll go with part of the truth. I can do that. You had a bad day, got drunk, I took care of you, and things progressed slowly from there. So we’re casual. Friends who hang out.”
“That’s fine. And that’s really almost totally the truth. We are friends.”
“Even though you said you were dating me.”
“Well, yes. But that’s only a little addition. It’s not too crazy. Right?”
“Sure, hon. Whatever you say.”
“Why are you doing this?”
He looked into my eyes, and I didn’t know what he saw there. I couldn’t read him, but I’d never been able to read Tucker. He was always the nice guy, the one that could make anyone smile, the one who would always be there for you. But I didn’t know much more about him. I only knew facts. I didn’t know him. So, I didn’t know why he was doing this. But I honestly didn’t know why I was doing this either.
“Let’s just make sure they know I’m okay, and then we can end it slowly. No hard feelings. No one needs to beat you up because it’s just casual, and we’ll make sure that they know we’ve never had sex.”
He snorted, shaking his head. “Yeah, your brothers know how I am with women. They’re probably going to guess that we’ve slept together.”
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