The Best Friend Problem

by Mariah Ankenman

  Chapter Fifteen

  “Hey, Pru, did you get the check from Missy Gunderson for the venue deposit?”

  Pru glanced up from her laptop—which was totally displaying accounts receivable spreadsheets and not the Top 100 Unique Baby Names—to see Lilly shuffling through a stack of papers on her desk with a frown.

  “Yes. I sent it off to the venue. The receipt is in the blue folder, but I already scanned it and put it in our electronic files.”

  Lilly had them back everything up—colored file folders for all payments, contracts, schedules, etc., then all that paper trail scanned and uploaded to multiple save spots including the cloud. Pru might be the planner, but Lilly was the paranoid one.

  “Oh, right.” Lilly frowned, exchanging the green folder she had open for the closed blue one in the small filing cabinet under the desk.

  “I thought Pru was supposed to be the one with pregnancy brain.” Mo chuckled. “You having sympathy symptoms, Lil?”

  “Did you place the flower order for the Nguyen-Smith wedding?” Lilly asked, ignoring Mo’s question.

  “Yes. And it’s a good thing the wedding is small.” The blond woman frowned. “Mrs. Porter won’t admit it, but her arthritis is really hurting her these days. The woman needs to hire on new help.”

  Agatha Porter was a sweet older woman they’d been in business with since they started Mile High Happiness. Pru loved the kind woman who reminded her very much of Aunt Rose, but she had noticed a drop in the woman’s flower quality. Business was business, but it didn’t sit right with her, or any of them, to stop sending customers to the woman simply because her health was failing her. Still, maybe Mo was right. Perhaps they should check in and try to convince Agatha it was time to hire on some help. She couldn’t run the flower shop forever.

  Her phone chimed, reminding her of her afternoon appointment.

  “Oh, shoot. I gotta go.” She stood, shutting down her laptop and grabbing her purse. “I’ll be back later tonight.”

  “Have fun at baby class,” Mo said with a cheery smile.

  She waved at Mo, Lilly too deep in her folders to acknowledge her with more than a muttered goodbye.

  Could one have fun at baby class?

  Because she liked to be prepared in all situations, Pru had signed them up for a three-month course of weekly, hour-long classes that promised to cover everything from the birth process to baby safety and basic first aid. Not that Finn would need that section of the class, being a firefighter with EMT training, but she did, and skill refreshers never hurt.

  Finn was just getting off his two-day shift, so Pru drove over to his place to pick him up. It had been two weeks since they decided that, in addition to friendship and him helping her with some baby stuff, they’d toss sex into the mix. And she had to admit, it was working out great. Better than great.

  She spent most nights at his place—even when he stayed at the firehouse, she’d started staying at his apartment and taking care of Bruiser, who had developed a protective streak a mile wide. The tiny pup curled up on her lap anytime she sat down, resting her furry head right on Pru’s belly. Silly dog thought the twins were her puppies.

  Plus, Finn always brought home her favorite foods when his shifts were over. They’d sit on his couch watching TV and eating chili cheese fries—hey, the babies craved them; who was she to deny her unborn children what they wanted?—while Finn rubbed her feet, something that inevitably led to him rubbing other things. Every night would end with them in bed together. Even the nights they didn’t have sex, Finn would pull her close, his hand resting protectively on her belly as his warmth lulled her to sleep.

  Dating her best friend was awesome.

  Whoa.

  No, no, no. She wasn’t dating Finn. They weren’t in a relationship or anything. They were… She had no idea what they were, but they weren’t dating. That was just weird.

  Weirder than having sex with him almost every night and gestating his twins?

  Okay, fine. Maybe they were dating.

  Sort of.

  But not really.

  Should she…should she ask him about it? They hadn’t really talked about what they were doing, save for agreeing that they’d only be doing it with each other. She certainly wasn’t seeing anyone else, and she knew Finn wasn’t either. So, did that mean they were seeing each other?

  No. They were not dating. Full stop. The very thought was ridiculous. They wanted different things. Pru needed a partner who would be home every night. Someone who didn’t risk death every time he went to work. She knew the pain caused by the loss of a parent. All her life she’d felt as though a piece of her soul was missing, dead and buried along with her mom and dad. She didn’t want that for her own children.

  She knew life could take anyone at any time, but why up the risks? The very reason Finn didn’t want anything long term was the exact same reason she didn’t want anything permanent with him, either.

  Ugh! All this thinking was making her hungry. Or maybe that was the twins.

  She parked at his place, heading up because, even though she’d gone just a half hour ago, Pru needed to pee, one of the downsides to this whole motherhood journey. She swore she was this close to buying one of those stadium bag things so she could pee wherever. She cringed when she thought about how much worse it would get.

  “Worth it,” she whispered, rubbing her belly.

  She headed into Finn’s building, using her key when she arrived at his door. It was only recently that Pru felt comfortable letting herself in on a daily basis. Sharing a bed opened up a whole new world of comfort between them she’d never known was missing.

  As she stepped into the small studio, the sound of the shower running hit her ears, quickly followed by a happy, high-pitched bark and the furious clacking of nails on the hardwood floor.

  “There’s my girl.” She closed the door, bending down to scoop up Bruiser, who thankfully weighed less than five pounds. If the dog had been a husky or lab, she might have knocked Pru over with her enthusiastic greeting. “Do you need a treat?”

  The Yorkie mix licked her chin before tucking her nose to sniff Pru’s belly, nuzzling the growing bump, saying hi to the babies. She rose with the dog in the crook of her arm, heading to Finn’s cupboard to get the sweet pup a treat. She was a pushover for a cute face.

  Her kids were going to wrap her around their tiny, adorable fingers.

  “Hey, Precious.”

  Strong, warm, slightly wet arms wrapped around her from behind. Finn’s firm lips placed a soft kiss on the nape of her neck. Mmm, yummy. She hadn’t even heard the shower shut off.

  Bruiser gave out a small yip, tiny doggy legs whirling in the air, an indication she wanted no part of the human smooching and would rather be let down. Pru apologized to the pup and set her gently on the floor. Then turned in Finn’s arms to plant a proper hello kiss to his delicious lips.

  The kiss quickly deepened, heated. His hands came down to cup and squeeze her backside while she enjoyed a tactile tour of his damp, bare chest. As her hands traveled southward, she noticed he only had a towel wrapped around his hips.

  Hello, easy access!

  “How much time do we have before the class?”

  “Enough for a quickie,” she whispered against his smiling lips. “Give me thirty seconds. When I come out of the bathroom, I expect to find you naked on the bed.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  It was amazing what the man could do to her body in ten minutes. Pru never would have thought it possible, but they left fifteen minutes later, Finn fully dressed, her fully sated from not one but two orgasms.

  The baby class was at the hospital ten minutes away. They arrived with one minute to spare.

  Totally worth it.

  “Hello, everyone, and welcome.” The instructor, a small woman with gray hair and kind eyes, waved them all over. “Take a seat around the circle and let’s all introduce ourselves and give our due dates.”

  They went around the circl
e with introductions. There were a few married couples, a woman with her mother, whose husband was on deployment overseas, a pair of husbands with their surrogate, and Finn and her. It struck Pru that, while they were a kind of couple, they didn’t have the same relationship everyone else in the room seemed to have.

  Sure, they were sleeping together and had been friends forever, but there was something each of the other couples had that they didn’t. And she didn’t mean marriage. Having witnessed hundreds of weddings in the past few years, she knew a piece of paper was just that. She and the girls could tell within a week of working with a couple if they would last past the “I dos.”

  No, it wasn’t the rings on their fingers that bothered her. So, what was it?

  As the class continued, she shoved off the hinky feeling and concentrated on what the instructor was teaching them. They went through calming breathing exercises, pressure-point touch massage that claimed to reduce pain during labor, and different birthing positions. Throughout, the instructor asked questions to test the class’s knowledge, and Pru found herself surprised by how much Finn knew. He seemed to raise his hand every time, nailing the answer.

  “When did you become Dr. Baby?” she whispered.

  He shrugged, continuing the lower back massage the instructor had taught them. “I’ve got some books at the firehouse that I’ve been reading in my down time.”

  He what now? Finn was reading baby books? In high school, he always rented the movies instead of reading their assignments for English. Made for a very strange book report when they’d studied The Scarlet Letter.

  “You read a book? Voluntarily?”

  “Of course I did.” His hands gently caressed her back, applying light pressure to the sore spots right above her hipbones. “It’s important to be educated.”

  She knew that. Hell, she had over a dozen pregnancy and baby books on her ereader. Read most of them more than once, too. But she was Practical Pru. Finn was…well, he wasn’t a slouch when it came to education. He did have a BS in Fire Science and had to keep his EMT certificate up to date. She knew he studied hard for those. But she’d never known him to voluntarily seek education without an end goal. He didn’t learn just to learn. He had to care about something to invest time in it.

  He cares about you, dum-dum, and the babies.

  She sucked in a sharp breath.

  “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”

  Finn’s concerned face came into view over her shoulder. She shook her head. “No. I’m fine.”

  He didn’t press, but his wary gaze watched her for another moment before he returned to his massage.

  Pru sat there with the knowledge she’d just discovered. Finn cared.

  Duh, he was her best friend and the father of the babies, so of course he would care. But this felt different. He wasn’t just offering to help or just tossing money at her for expenses. He was an active part of this journey. When she went to an appointment, Finn was there. Baby class, Finn was there.

  Thinking back over the past months, she realized just how involved he was. He bought her preggy pops and pillows, read books to stay informed. Finn was going above and beyond anything they had discussed.

  He cared. A lot.

  What did that mean?

  She could just ask him. It wasn’t like they hadn’t talked about almost everything under the sun during their years of friendship. So why was she holding back?

  Because I’m afraid of what he’ll say.

  No. That wasn’t it. Truthfully, she was afraid of the repercussions of what he might say and what it would mean. How that would change them. Their friendship had already changed so much recently. Pru didn’t know if she could handle any more right now.

  Besides, he hadn’t changed his stance on subjecting a family to his risky job, and she hadn’t changed her mind about solo motherhood. Even if Finn did want something more permanent, which she highly doubted, his occupation didn’t match what she had in mind for a partner.

  Like his occupation doesn’t freak you out, anyway.

  Pru wouldn’t lie, her heart clutched with fear every time she heard a siren in the city, wondering if her best friend was responding, if he would be putting his life at risk to save others. She could only imagine how amplified that terror would be for the person who shared a life with him.

  No matter what they were doing right now, he’d eventually want out. And that was fine with her. She didn’t want anything permanent with him. She simply wanted her babies. So what if everyone here seemed to have a life partner who looked forward to spending year after year watching their children grow, sharing every birthday, holiday, and summer vacation. Relationships could wither and die. She knew that better than anyone.

  Friendships are a form of relationship. Yours could die, too.

  No. She and Finn were solid. They’d been each other’s rock for years. Sure, they might have changed the dynamic of their friendship slightly over the past few months, but they could go back. She was sure Finn didn’t have feelings for her. None other than friendship and a bit of lust.

  Okay, a lot of lust.

  And that’s all she felt for him. Lust. Nothing more.

  The instructor told the class to end the massage with a message for the baby. Finn’s hand came around her to land on her belly, his head bent down, lips pressing to the slight roundness of her stomach as he spoke, just loudly enough for the words to travel to her ears.

  “Hey there, babies. You grow big and strong in there because we can’t wait to meet you. And you’re getting the best mommy in the whole wide world, so try not to cause her too much pain when you make your big debut. She’s a real wuss when it comes to pain.”

  “Hey,” she complained, but he was right. She was a real, well, baby when it came to pain.

  “But she loves you more than anything in this world, so don’t worry. And I’ll be there to help.” He glanced up, mischief and caring filling the depths of his gaze. “She can squeeze my hand ’til it breaks if she has to. Whatever she needs, I’ll be there.”

  Tears filled her eyes at his words. She had no idea what was going on, what she was feeling. This whole situation was becoming complicated, so much more than she’d ever anticipated. Or maybe it was just her pregnancy hormones going into overdrive. Yeah, that was it. She was seeing and feeling things that weren’t really there. She didn’t have deeper feelings for Finn, and he didn’t have them for her.

  It was all just baby brain.

  And maybe a little sex haze.

  Once these little bundles of joy made their appearance, everything would go back to normal. A new normal for her, to be sure, but she and Finn would go back to being just friends. Like they’d always been. Like it should be.

  Nothing more.

  Chapter Sixteen

  F: Picking you up in ten.

  P: Make it five!

  Finn chuckled, reading the frustrated text from Pru on his cell screen.

  F: Bad day for a white wedding?

  P: That joke was old the first seven hundred times you used it.

  So she said, but it still made the corner of her lips curl in the slightest grin. He’d stop telling it when she stopped secretly loving it.

  F: What’s up?

  P: Lilly and Mo are in uber-mother-hen mode today. They’re stifling me.

  F: They love you.

  P: They’re going to love me into uselessness if they don’t stop freaking out over everything I do. I’m carrying babies, not the plague.

  He laughed because he knew Lilly and Moira were simply showing their care for Pru. No one wanted her overly stressed right now. In fact, Mo had texted, instructing him to play Pru classical music at night to calm her because stress wasn’t good for the babies’ emotional growth. He didn’t even know fetuses had emotional growth.

  F: Ten minutes

  P: FIVE!

  He smiled, slipping his cell into his pocket, checking on Bruiser, who lay happily in her doggy bed with her favorite chew toy, and headed out
the door to his car to grab Pru before going over to his parents’ place. He and Pru had been going over what to tell them about this whole situation. The past few family dinners she’d come to, it had been easy to hide her pregnancy, but now she was starting to show. And besides, they’d find out eventually. He didn’t like lying to his family, but the truth was…tricky.

  Oddly, Pru had been exceedingly open to the idea of informing his mom and dad they were going to be grandparents again. She loved the idea of the babies having a big network of family to love and support them. As they discussed, she was still doing this mommy thing solo, but she’d agreed to let him help out. But even though she practically lived at his place now, they slept together almost every night, and he went to every checkup, he still got the impression Pru was holding back, like she was scared to admit what they were really doing.

  Having a relationship.

  He was smart enough to recognize it. And chickenshit enough to be terrified by it.

  Somehow over the past few months, he and Pru had morphed from friends to lovers to relationship status. But what really scared him was that the anxiety-twisting knot in his gut, the one that always screamed “get out” whenever he was hanging with a date that might have serious potential, wasn’t there. The only thing currently in his gut was a leftover burrito from lunch and a strange sense of comfort.

  Could be the burrito. Could be Pru.

  It probably wasn’t the burrito.

  So what did he do with this knowledge? He couldn’t talk to Pru about it. They’d discussed a lot of hard stuff recently, but he knew Pru. If he let on for even one second that he was catching feelings, she’d run for the Rockies. He knew how Pru felt about the dangers of his job. Hell, it was the reason he didn’t do relationships.

  She needed a nine-to-five guy. A partner who would be home every night to help tuck the kids in, read them bedtime stories. He couldn’t do that. He’d never imagined himself being that kind of person. But not being there for Pru and the twins…

  He rubbed at the dull ache in his chest. The one that was getting stronger and stronger every time he thought too hard about the future. About what would happen once the babies arrived. He was afraid of what the growing ache signaled. Even though he knew he couldn’t be the man Pru needed, a part of him longed to be the man she wanted.