Daughter of Ninmah

by Lori Holmes

  Nyri pressed her lips together stubbornly and refused to answer him.

  Baarias regretted he had to be so blunt with her. “We will do all we can for her. We will not give up hope.” He studied his young student’s face, her smooth features were lined with the weight of her cares. “Go and rest, Nyriaana. You need your strength, too. Kyaati will be safe with her father for now.”

  To his relief, she lifted her chin in agreement, groaning softly as she stretched her back.

  “Nooooo!”

  The wave of pain and despair ripped through the air before Baarias even heard the scream. Nyri’s frightened eyes flew to his and they dashed back towards the chamber beyond.

  Baarias stumbled as he beheld the scene before him. Pelaan had both Kyaati’s wrists locked in his grasp as she writhed against him, wailing.

  “You’re lying!” she screeched at her father. “You’re lying! You are hiding her from me! Give her to me!”

  “Kyaati!” Pelaan’s eyes were wide, his face pale. She only fought harder.

  Baarias whirled into action, drawing water from an aquilem vine into a hala nutshell. The heady aroma of the herbs filled the air as he crushed them into the water. A strong sleeping draught.

  “Kyaati, here,” Baarias urged, kneeling by her side. “Drink this, drink this, it will help.”

  Under his direction, Kyaati calmed enough to take the shell and down its contents. She then grasped Baarias’ arm.

  “Baarias, where is my baby…?” Her eyelids began to droop.

  “Shhh,” he soothed, struggling to keep the anguish from his face. “Just rest, just rest.”

  Kyaati looked as if she wanted to say more but could not fight the effect of the herbs. Pelaan released her wrists as she fell back into the bower, unconscious.

  Baarias stared down at the recumbent form with Nyri and Pelaan. He had expected Kyaati’s recovery would be hard. He had not expected this.

  “W-what,” Pelaan broke the terrible silence first. “Baarias, what is the matter with her? She has gone mad! She thinks I am hiding her baby.”

  Baarias could not think. The mind was complicated; even he was not well versed in all of its machinations. He could feel Nyri’s gaze upon him, seeking reassurance, trusting that he would have the answers. He drew a long steadying breath. This was what it meant to be a healer and it was a burden he had accepted long ago. “We must wait and see.” Even he could hear that his voice lacked its usual conviction. “Hopefully rest will ease her confusion. L-leave her with me Pelaan and I will do all I can.”

  Pelaan was silent in his agreement.

  The sound of the summoning horns broke the bubble of tension inside Baarias’ tree. The Elders were gathering the tribe.

  “An auscult?” Nyri asked, dismayed.

  Pelaan pulled his gaze away from Kyaati. His eyes were raw but the muscles in his face were working to keep his expression smooth and free of emotion. He always liked to believe he was above such things. “Yes, the rest of the Elders and I have been debating our situation,” he said. “It is time to let the rest of you know what we face.”

  “What about Kyaati?” Nyri asked anxiously, hesitating at her friend’s side.

  Baarias put his fingers to Kyaati’s temples and closed his eyes. “She will be safe here,” he said. “She will not wake until morning.

  He could feel that Nyri was far from appeased but she followed him out into the waning light. Baarias curled his fingers into his palms. He did not know what was going to happen now. Whatever this auscult was about, it couldn’t be good and the last thing any of them needed to hear was more doom and gloom from the Elders.

  * * *

  17

  Impossible

  Nyri followed Baarias as they made their way towards the clearing.

  The heady, carefree joy she had felt at the return of Juaan had been torn from her as true reality crushed the happy dream she had been existing in. Kyaati was not well. She was awake but it didn’t change the fact that she had lost her baby and she might not want to live with that.

  A long and difficult path of seeing her friend through her grief twisted out before them; the end unseen. Finding Juaan had pulled Nyri’s heart and mind from the suffering of her people for a few precious moments. Now, after feeling Kyaati’s broken spirit and hearing her wish to be gone once more, Nyri could feel the grip of despair trying to re-establish its choke-hold. She took a few deep breaths.

  She wanted to cling to Baarias for strength but she could not; not anymore. She had to face this alone. She had to be here for Kyaati, help feed her people through the looming Fury and, she wondered just what in Ninmah’s name she was going to do with Juaan now that she had found him. She frowned, he was drifting once more into an unreality; nothing more than a desperate vision out in the woods. She fought to hold on to her certainty.

  He would need food, water and most importantly of all she needed to keep him secret for as long as she was able. She could not release him; not until he remembered who she was and who he had been. If Nyri released him before then… there was no telling what he would do. He could attack them out of fear or worse still, return to the Woves, bringing them back in force. But, when he remembered her, and she refused to think that he would not, what then? There was nowhere for him to go. Her people would never accept him. She imagined a Forbidden living among them and gave a humourless laugh.

  For that was what he was. Forbidden. She could not hide from that knowledge any longer; the innocence of childhood no longer protected her. Juaan was Forbidden.

  Nyri trembled in the face of her predicament. The Golden Mother forbade the existence of such beings. Nyri herself had fought with Baarias over this very issue not two days past. Forbidden children went against all teachings. A heresy.

  Nyri chewed a fingernail as everything she believed in clashed violently with the feelings she bore for Juaan. She did not want to offend the great Ninmah anymore than the Elders did but, no matter what, she could not leave Juaan to die. She had made a solemn promise long ago to look after him. Surely the Golden Mother could forgive Juaan. His heritage, whatever it was, was not his fault. His mother was the one who had committed the heresy; Juaan was innocent.

  But Nyri knew that others would not see it that way. Forbidden was forbidden. The tenets of their lores were too strictly ingrained; there could be no exceptions. She was defying Ninmah herself by her very actions no matter how she tried to justify it. She risked bringing a curse down on the entire tribe by keeping him. Anyone who had ever tried to accept Juaan had perished. His mother, her mother. The knowledge was unsettling, frightening.

  Nyri rubbed her forehead. Her mind worked but she had no solutions. She did not know what would happen now. The future suddenly loomed more dangerous and uncertain than ever before and Nyri could feel herself beginning to crumble under the weight of it.

  She tore her thoughts away as they reached the clearing. The tall rock in the centre was casting a long shadow across the waving grass. The rest of the tribe had an edgy vibe as they gathered, very much like deer on a game trail.

  The last time they had been here, they had ended up fleeing for their very lives and Kyaati’s baby had died. The threat of the Woves’ return hung heavily in the air; it was at the forefront of everyone’s thoughts. Nyri felt a thrill of fear. Maybe she wouldn’t be the one who released Juaan from that Pit after all.

  “My people,” Aardn called their attention to her once they were all gathered. “We have called you here to address the grave situation we now face. Imaani has been searching-”

  “Have they left?” Raanya interrupted anxiously. “Have the Woves gone?”

  Aardn’s expression was heavy as she broke the news. “No, they have not left.”

  Cries of dismay swept around the group. Nyri put her hand to her mouth but did not feel it. She had been out in the woods and their enemies were still in the area. She felt faint at the thought of what could have happened.

  Aardn lifted her hand for quie
t. “Imaani informed us that when climbing the tallest trees, their glowing beasts can be seen burning in the distance on the edge of our forest.”

  “But what are they doing?” Umaa asked, tightening her arms around Omaal in her lap.

  “We do not know,” Aardn admitted. “Waiting, licking their wounds. They have not yet made another attempt to cross back into our territory. We are keeping a careful watch.”

  Nyri dug her nails into her palms. The Woves were camped on their border, regrouping. She forced her hands to relax when she felt blood start to trickle from her palms; the air was suddenly too thin.

  “What are we going to do?”

  “This is what we have called the auscult to discuss. The decision is yours. We have debated at length as to the best path we should take. Some of us,” and the senior Elder’s voice gave away her opinion on this, “would have us leave this place and take the chance of finding a new home before the approaching Fury sets in.”

  A wave of dread swept around the circle. All but the youngest remembered the Dark Days of the homeless wondering and the suffering they had endured. So many souls had been lost.

  “We can’t do that.” A few voices protested. “We will die.”

  Oraan, Naaya’s father and the most junior of the Elders, interjected. “When the Woves return, we most surely will. They know we are here and now they sit poised on our borders, biding their time. We need to leave before they decide to return. This place is no longer safe.”

  “What does the Kamaali say?” someone demanded.

  Aardn pressed her lips together in irritation. “Sefaan claims the will of the Great Spirit is unclear. She will not commit to a path. She remains in communion with Him as she searches for an answer.”

  Discontented muttering broke out. The lack of a Kamaali’s guidance was a disaster, without it, the tribe would remain divided. Arguments began to rage back and forth. Nyri chewed a fingernail, her insides twisting; dead one way, surely dead another. What could they do? What would she do if they decided to leave? She had just found Juaan again; she could not abandon him. The arguments went on around her but she barely heard.

  “We cannot leave!”

  “We cannot stay!”

  “We could fight!”

  Daajir’s voice cut into her thoughts. He rose to his feet from where he had been sitting beside Pelaan. “Haven’t we done enough running? Haven’t we lost enough to these monsters?” He thumped his chest. “Well I say enough! We must fight back!”

  If a leaf had dropped then, Nyri would have heard it. She couldn’t believe he had just voiced his wish to fight the Woves in front of the whole tribe. It was one thing to vent his emotions in front of her, another entirely to do so before the Elders. She tested his intent and was stunned to feel that he was absolutely serious about this. Her disbelief was echoed by the rest of the tribe. Aardn was the first to recover.

  “And how do you propose we do this, young Daajir?” She gave an incredulous half laugh. “Their powers are beyond us. To fight them would be the most certain way to get us all killed.”

  “Maybe not,” Daajir returned. “We always knew this day would come and I have been preparing. I may have found a way to repel the beasts. I beg of the Elders and my people time and I will prove to you how we might exact our revenge and break their curse once and for all.”

  Aardn and the Elders were silent as they regarded Daajir. He raised his chin, his eyes holding steady and unflinching before them. They reached deeper, assessing his soundness of mind; testing his certainty.

  Whatever they found obviously satisfied them.

  “You really believe you have found a way to do this?” Aardn asked.

  “Yes. Please just hold on making a decision until I am ready.”

  Aardn looked to her peers. Their faces were unreadable but, as the moments passed, it became clear to Nyri that they had come to an agreement. Perhaps they didn’t really have another choice and were driven as much by desperation as the rest. Whatever the reason, they agreed to Daajir’s impossible plan.

  “Your proposal opens an intriguing new path,” Aardn mused. “It is agreed. We will hold on our decision until you prove to us that standing our ground is our best chance for survival.”

  Daajir bowed respectfully. “Thank you, Aardn.”

  She inclined her head. “When you are ready we will decide then whether we should flee or stand.”

  Nyri eyed Daajir. It was impossible to believe he had found a way to defend against the Woves but, like the Elders, she found herself wanting to hope all the same. What a victory it would be, to break their curse at last. Possible or not, Nyri was relieved by the ruling Daajir’s claim had brought about. It had given her more time to think; they were staying. For now.

  “Let us pray that the Woves do not decide to return before then,” Oraan mumbled. A glare from Aardn silenced him.

  “In light of that possibility,” Aardn continued, “we ask you all to remain close. We may have to flee with little to no warning and will not have time to find those of you who stray. We must stay together. Nobody is permitted to wander alone beyond the eshaara grove.” Her eyes seemed to flicker in Nyri’s direction. “It is not safe. The watch will be doubled. Nothing will be able to move without us knowing. If the Woves cross our border before we meet again, we shall flee without question, which brings us to our next concern. Food.”

  More discontented murmurs broke out. Many were angry, others despondent.

  Aardn raised one hand for calm. “I know many of you will find the strict ration we have had to impose hard-”

  “Hard?” Umaa’s face was raw, an expression reflected by all those with children. “Do you know the sentence you are passing on many of our heads, respected Elder?’

  Aardn did not even flinch. “There is no choice, Umaa. I will not shade the truth; the food we have left will barely be enough to see us through the Fury that approaches. The times of Ninsiku’s power have grown longer than I have ever known in my lifetime. Perhaps the longest since the passing of the Great Fury. Unless Ninmah re-establishes her strength and banishes Ninsiku back to his rightful place, our situation is grave. We are under attack from two fronts, the Woves and starvation. We must face both with equal gravity and as one people. We must all make sacrifices for the good of the whole.”

  Aardn’s energy rolled out in stark warning so that none could fail to feel her will and the consequences for crossing it. “No one is to take more than one item of food from the stores per day. One. The supplies will be carefully watched. Any selfish attempt to take more than this will not be tolerated. We will face the hardship equally, come what may.”

  Umaa buried her face in her crippled son’s hair as her shoulders began to shake. Imaani put an arm around them both, his face grave.

  Nyri’s mouth had gone dry. She had already acknowledged that visiting Juaan and keeping him supplied with food was going to be difficult. Now it seemed completely out of the question. Nobody was permitted to leave the tribe and nobody could take more than it would take to keep a maamit alive.

  Nyri ran her hands through her hair. She would have to find a way to slip by the sentries. That would not be easy. Even harder would be getting the food she needed; one item per tribe member. Nyri chewed her lip. She had a few personal rations left in her own tree but after that…

  “Nyriaana.” Baarias shook her shoulder. Nyri started under his touch. She realised that they had been dismissed and she had been staring into space as she wrestled with her dilemma. “Come, child. You need rest.”

  “Kyaati-”

  “Will not need you until morning and you will be no good to her if you do not rest yourself.”

  Nyri nodded dumbly. She bid Baarias a peaceful night and parted company with him. Let him think that her troubled air was due to the situation that had just been outlined to them. It was partly the truth.

  She started for her tree feeling dead on her feet. She had to be there for Kyaati, but she had to find a way to help Juaan
, too. In the morning, she would face the challenge of disobeying the Elders for the first time in her life. And with the Woves so close, she was putting her own life in serious jeopardy. She did not know if she possessed the courage. She had to hope that she did.

  Juaan’s very survival depended on it.

  18

  Bravery

  “Nyriaana.”

  She was almost back to her tree when a soft but firm voice called her name. Her heart skipped a beat as she turned to face Aardn. She did her best to keep her features smooth and Juaan far from her mind, standing tense as the Elder approached.

  “Walk with me.”

  Nyri swallowed as she fell into step beside the Elder. Aardn never usually singled her out. She was so tired; all she wanted was to escape into her tree and sleep.

  Fortunately, Aardn came straight to the point. “I wish to praise you for the bravery you have shown in the past days, Nyriaana.”

  Nyri blinked. “Th-thank you, my Elder,” she stuttered. “Though, I do not understand what I have done to earn such praise.” Most of what she remembered from the past days was being scared out of her wits and nearly dying. Twice. Daajir would have another description for her actions and it wouldn’t be brave. Idiotic would be more likely.

  “I have known many in my lifetime, young Nyriaana, and there are few I could name who would run willingly into the jaws of a grishnaa to save another’s child. Omaal told me of what you did. If it wasn’t for you, he would be dead at the bottom of a Pit and our tribe would have one more soul to mourn.”

  Nyri shifted, at a loss as to how to respond. She felt a cold sweat prickle over her skin at the memory of that day. She hadn’t really stopped to think of what she was doing, she had just acted out of fear and instinct.

  “For his life. I thank you.”

  “All I did was pull him from the Pit,” Nyri mumbled. “It was Batai that showed the real bravery.” She kept her eyes fixed on the ground, embarrassed by the attention she was being shown by an Elder.