Striker

by Charmaine Ross

  Still, she was going to try. If she didn’t get away from him soon, she knew she never would. The appeal to shut down and forget about anything other than losing herself in his arms again was almost too much to bear.

  His mouth curved into that ready smile of his, only a shade confused. “What makes you think we’re going to make fools out of ourselves?”

  “I just don’t want to say or do anything we’re both going to regret. We’re two different people, Striker. Two different lives. Two different species. You have a crew to command. It’s best if you see to their needs.” She was glad she managed to speak without too much of a waver in her voice. She only hoped he didn’t notice the uncertainty that was plainly there.

  His eyes narrowed. Of course he did. “I will see to their needs, but yours is more urgent. And more important.”

  He stepped closer, making her tilt her head back. He cupped both shoulder with his large, elegant hands. It was hard to think of those hands holding weaponry, as she knew he must have, but all she could think of was how those virtual hands felt on her non-physical body. Heat flowed from his hands into her head, swaying her intentions to work until she dropped. It was certainly easier than thinking. Focus. She needed to focus.

  She cleared her throat. “My needs are my own business.”

  “Not if you’re too tired to direct Reptiles and put everyone in danger. What if your connection to them is only strong when you’re fully functional? Would you be willing to risk the lives of the humans? The Callisteans? My crew?”

  She was reluctant to admit this, but he had a point. “I’ll stay with them and keep them in line.”

  He rubbed her upper arms, slowly moving up and down, his hand firm and hot and feeling all too good. “Under my command, a good soldier always knows when they can’t perform.” His gravelly voice took away the sting of his words.

  She swayed against him as though he was some kind of drug. “Yeah, well, that’s what they say in my army too.”

  He stepped so close that his chest pressed lightly against her breasts. Her nipples pebbled instinctively. Tingles danced in her stomach, making the space between her legs heavy and achy, a sensation she tried and failed desperately to ignore.

  “So, what do you think you can do, Vivien? Are you well enough to perform?” His hands slid to her shoulders, his thumbs tracing circles lightly on her skin. Good god, the man was making it hard to think.

  Her mouth dried. She licked her lower lip with the tip of her tongue to work some wetness there. She watched his gaze drop to her mouth, stay there before dragging slowly back to her eyes. The look she found there was full of heat and promise.

  She cleared her throat. “I’ll have you know, I can outperform most of my contemporaries.”

  His head lowered. Their breath mingled. She only had to move few precious millimetres, and he’d be exactly where she wanted him to be.

  “Good soldiers don’t lie, Vivien,” he murmured as though he’d asked to make love to her.

  She drew in a deep, shaking breath as meaning collided with need. A chill worked through the clouding heat. Confusion mixed with the cold douse of dawning horror and myriad too hard questions.

  “What...what do you mean? Are you lying to me?”

  The words were out before she could stop them. She never would have said them if her defences weren’t battered. She didn’t know if she wanted to hear the answer.

  She sucked in a quick breath, stepping away. “Forget I said that.”

  He drew back enough to view her face, but not so far as to let her go from the cage of his arms. “What would I lie about?”

  She sighed, feeling her arousal drain away. Why did she always have to do this to herself? Take the opposite road she really wanted to travel on?

  “Please. I didn’t mean to say that.”

  Striker shook his head, eyes that saw all the way into her. She felt naked beneath his gaze, and not in a good way. She went to step away, to have some space, but was blocked by his embrace.

  “Words like those aren’t spoken to be ignored. Tell me, soldier – Viven – why would you think I’d lie to you?”

  She tried to unlock his arms, but he didn’t budge. Her heart fluttered with the edges of panic. “I’ll call back the Reptiles and make you let me go.”

  His palms firmed on her back. His hand swept along her back in long, soothing strokes. “You won’t. You’ll tell me what’s going on in your head. You forget, I’ve had a taste of how you think, and I bet there’s not much good going on in there at the moment. I also know you have the tendency to wonder what it is about you people could possibly like about you, so I’m going to tell you all the things there are, not just to like about you, but to love about you.”

  His palms gently settled on either side of her face. He tilted her head back so she had no choice but to look him in the eye. Her heart hammered within her chest like she’d finished a one-mile sprint.

  “I don’t want to hear what you have to say.”

  “I know you don’t. You’re not used to it. But you’re going to hear it anyway. From me. And you know they will be the truth.”

  He held her still so she had no choice but to open her eyes, which she hadn’t realized she’d squeezed shut, to peer into his determined, heated gaze. What she saw scared the crap out of her. Give her a war, terrorists, torture, death. Those things were easy. Those things didn’t make her serve her sensitive raw heart on a silver platter, quivering beneath the fear of a first cut. He circled her throat with his palm. She swallowed hard, trembling beneath his touch. He leaned close, brushed his lips over hers.

  “You’re determined, tenacious, serious, sexy, so giving, you hate it when you think you don’t pull through for people. You're loyal to the point of self-destruction, think the worst of yourself when you only have the best to give.”

  She shook her head. “Stop.”

  “Why should I stop, Vivien? Is it because you’ve never heard it before? Nobody has ever told you? Or because you don’t think it could possibly be true?”

  “I don’t want to hear it.”

  “Only because it makes you uncomfortable because no one's said those thing to you before,” Striker said. “That’s not a good thing, Vivien. You’re starved of affection, and when it’s given, you don’t know what to do with it.”

  Her breath stuttered, stuck in her throat. It was nothing of those things – it was all of those things – it wasn’t anything she wanted to hear or listen to or think about. To her horror, her eyes welled and overflowed. She never cried. Not over anything as frivolous as herself or her emotions. That was weakness, and she needed to be strong. Contained. Distant. Because when you were, bad things couldn’t touch you. And when things couldn’t touch you, you were safe from all the bad things that happened.

  She jerked in his touch, desperate to get away, chest constricting. She clutched his arms, fighting to remove herself from his grip.

  “I want to go.”

  His lips whispered over her forehead, down the side of her face, feather light, warm breath caressing her skin.

  “You might want to go, but you need to hear this.” He pressed a kiss to the side of her mouth. “You’re perfect, Vivien. You're perfect when you’re mad. When you’re fighting for every species in the universe. You’re perfect when you’re fired-up and enraged. When you’re sad, frightened, pissed off.” He kissed the other side of her mouth. His voice lowered so it was no more than a gentle caress. “You’re perfect because you’ve made me a better man. You saved me from living a shallow life. For shrugging off things that have shaped me. The things I still have nightmares about. You’ve made me accept them and realise them for what they are. Even though they were bad, horrific events, things that will scare me until the day I die, without them I would never have driven to apply to serve on the Starlight. I never would have flown onto an occupied planet to rescue a human woman in trouble, and,” he pulled back, just a little, just so she could peer up into his face that brimmed wi
th bare emotion, “because without all of those events, I never would have met you.”

  He brought his mouth to hers in a move that was raw and vulnerable and brimmed with need and passion and sincerity. It was the last that almost brought her to her knees. He stopped kissing her, almost harshly. He panted as hard as she was, the look in his eyes as exposed as much as his kiss.

  “Let me in, Vivien.” His fingers firmed on her flesh.

  Her throat had tightened so much, she fought to speak. “You shouldn’t… care so much.” To her horror, a fresh flood of tears flowed down her cheeks.

  “You can’t tell me what I should or shouldn’t feel. That’s not up to you.” His eyes blazed.

  She worked hard to speak the next words. “Then you shouldn’t have made me care so much.”

  “And why shouldn’t I have done that?” He ploughed his fingers through her hair, pressing his forehead to hers. “Why shouldn’t I have made you care?” His voice was nothing more than gravel.

  This was costing him, and it was costing her. She didn’t have it in her to torture either of them anymore. “Because it will make leaving you too hard, and I don’t think...” She swallowed hard. She had to say it. Had to tell him. He had to understand, even though it was the hardest thing in the world she ever had to say. “I don’t think I can lose anyone else I love.”

  His breath punched from his lungs. “Is that all?”

  She gasped, forcing herself away, which wasn’t very far because he wasn’t letting her go. “What do you mean, is that all?”

  “I’m never leaving you, Vivien. Don’t you see? I like myself when I’m with you. You’re the other half of my soul. Where you go – I will go with you. I will fight to be with you, because I choose to be with you.”

  He was blurred with the amount of tears that filled her eyes. “But what about if it’s not your choice?” She gripped his wrists, closing her eyes against the anguish that poured through her.

  “Your fear is controlling you. I beg of you, don’t let it hold you back. I know we’re in the middle of a war and there’s so much uncertainty in our lives, but I pledge to you that if you want me, I will move mountains to be with you. And if the worst happens and I die,” an instant pain stabbed through her heart, but he pressed on, not giving her time to talk, “then I’ll move mountains to wait for you on the other side. Or haunt you. So you see, you can’t get rid of me that easily. The truth is, Vivien, you can’t let the 'what if’s rule your life. Bad things may happen, but there’s a hell of a lot of good things that can happen if you let them. You have to live life, not just bear it, because when you do that, you don’t live life at all. I want to live life, Vivien, and I want to live it with you. This is the question you need to answer. If you tell me, I’ll go, but if you want me as badly as I want you, then tell me now, and I’ll do everything in my power to be at your side. You have to tell me, Vivien. Please, tell me now.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  There didn’t seem to be enough air to breathe. Either that or her lungs were paralyzed. But thoughts hurricaned through her mind as wayward emotion tore them to shreds. She was speechless. Numb and overwrought at the same time. Panic was an easy slide.

  “You're over thinking, soldier. You need to feel more.”

  Striker's gravelly voice broke through some of the haze right before his mouth descended over hers, then there was no more thinking. Only the glorious sensation of coming home. A sigh rippled through her as he massaged his lips against hers. She opened her mouth, welcoming him inside. His tongue swept against hers as his taste burst in her mouth. Spice and masculinity, her favourite blend.

  He pulled back, murmured against her lips, “Still thinking too much.”

  He kissed her again, deeper, longer, moving slowly, almost leisurely. His tongue slid decadently, drawing out her pleasure. Tension drained from her body, and she felt herself leaning into him, fitting into his body so perfectly.

  He groaned, the vibration from his chest easing into her, almost like a cat’s purr. Her hands slid up, over his shoulders, around his neck. She pushed her breasts against the hard planes of his chest, delighting in the mass of his body.

  His hand slipped beneath the waist of her shirt and splayed around her waist. It was her turn to groan with the skin-on-skin contact. Heat built in her core, fast becoming molten, turning her insides into liquid desire.

  Slowly, so slowly, his hand slid up and cupped her breast, massaging, caressing. His fingertip flicked her rock-hard nipple, sending a cascade of delightful sensation rippling through her, stroking the already burning fire.

  She broke the kiss, dragged in an audible breath and tossed her head back. His lips traced her jaw and descended down her neck, leaving a fiery, burning trail. She clung to him as his lips and hands worked her body.

  She was only aware of the sounds his lips made when he kissed her, the rustle of material as he unbuttoned her shirt, the feel of her bra moved beneath her breasts so they sat above the garment.

  “Beautiful. So beautiful,” Striker murmured as he lowered his head and devoured her breast.

  Her arousal skyrocketed. Her head fell back as she bared her chest for his attention.

  “That’s right. Just feel, Vivien. That’s a good little soldier.”

  He moved to the other breast, sucked her nipple deeply into his mouth. She groaned as the searing heat of his mouth covered her. He flicked her nipple with his tongue. Her fingers dug into his shoulders, bunched up in the material of his shirt.

  He wore too much. She had to touch him just as he touched her. She slid her hands beneath his shirt, lifted it free from his waistband and planted both palms on his sides. Goosebumps erupted over his skin. She delighted in knowing he was as affected as she was. She wondered at how silky soft his skin was, even over such hard muscle until she came to his pecks.

  His nipples jutted out. She traced both with her fingertips. He drew back, his breath shaking. “Gods, if you keep doing that, Vivien...” His voice drifted off as he stood straight and closed his eyes.

  “Just this. What about if I did this...” She sucked his kissed-swollen bottom lip and cupped his massive erection in her palm. Her heightened arousal made her tremble as she fondled him over the material of his pants.

  The breath hissed from his lips. Ecstasy relaxed his features as she rubbed his open palm up and down his long shaft. He was stunning. Gorgeous. Temptation personified.

  How would she ever go back to her dreary existence?

  Because that’s exactly what it was.

  Her past flashed into her mind in a series of cold images, while here and now burst with multicolour. There was simply no comparison.

  His mouth tensed as his eyes opened and pinned her in a blue stare. Her heart stuttered at the desire, the sheer need, the liquid arousal and… and… ownership.

  She gasped.

  Not ownership. It was more. Much, much more. More than she’d ever seen in anyone simply looking at her.

  “Love?”

  He blinked. His gaze softened as his generous lips curved in a slight smile. “It took you long enough to realize.”

  Her breath was shaky, “You… love me?”

  He frowned slightly. “There’s no question about that. The question is… is it returned?”

  “Is it..?”

  It took her stumbling mind a second to catch up. As she gazed up at him, she was aware of how vulnerable he was. How much she mattered to him. Even more. He looked at her as though she was cherished. Appreciated. Adored.

  And in that look – she saw her future.

  A bright, rosy, healthy, happy future filled with love and possibilities.

  “I don’t have to go back, do I?” Her fingers clutched his shirt.

  He shook his head.

  “I have a choice, don’t I? I… I really do!”

  His mouth lifted in the smile he was born to show. She felt her mouth curve as well, and a warm, joyful feeling burst up from deep inside her. Something deep and
hidden inside shattered and sheer bliss overwhelmed her. Tears gathered in her eyes, but they were tears of gladness. Of elation. Of absolution.

  Not for her father, or her life, or her team members.

  But for herself.

  “Oh my God. I love you so much, Striker. I’m in love with you. I don’t want you to go. I want to be by your side, and you by my side for as long as I live. I choose happiness. I choose love. I choose you!”

  She leapt on him, arms around his shoulders, legs around his waist, and although she was tall and muscular, he caught her and held her as though she weighed no more than air. She kissed him long and deep and thoroughly, pressing as close to him as she could.

  He crushed her to him, and she felt so, so safe locked in his arms. She peppered kisses over his mouth, chin, jaw, everywhere. He chuckled, a jubilant sound that had her smile stretching from ear to ear.

  “Do I take it that’s the answer to my question?” he asked. Blond brows rose into his rugged forehead, a lopsided smile on his face.

  “Are you sure you don’t want an out? I mean, I have been known to be stubborn,” she said, not bothering to stop smiling even if she did look like an idiot.

  “Don’t forget mule-headed, ornery and headstrong,” he said.

  She cringed. “Am I that bad?”

  He kissed her. “You’re all bad in the best type of way.”

  “So does that mean you’re taking that ‘out’?” she asked.

  “Not on your life. Now that you’ve agreed to be by my side day and night for years to come, I’ll have you know, you may be shocked to know I also have my bad points,” he said.

  She rolled her eyes. “Do you mean your flippant, cocksure and glib tendencies?”

  “Well, when you say it like that...”

  “I like the whole package, Striker. And I withdraw that ‘out’. You had your chance, buddy. Now you have me forever,” she said.