“Let’s get some tacos at your favorite place on our way out of town. Do you need anything from the apartment?” I wasn’t sure I could even get in there, but I would ask the officers to save her things if she wanted them.
Chrissy smiled a small grin that made me want to jump up and down with joy. This girl was so resilient. She would go places in life. “Yes to tacos. Hell no to the apartment. I never want to see that place again.”
I slung my arm over her shoulders and walked out with my little sister, so frail and weak but the strongest person I knew.
10
Brecken
“How did the beach party go?” Porter sat back and picked up his beer, tipping it to his lips. I turned my attention back to my bottle, picking the label with my fingernail instead of answering him. I didn’t know how to answer him, because I felt completely stupid after waking up alone this morning.
She hadn’t left a note, a phone number, nothing. She was just gone. And when I drove back to the beach, her car was gone from there, too. Janie essentially disappeared from my life, and I spent the day brooding about it until Porter made me meet him for dinner. I knew it was ridiculous for me to be upset about it. I paid her to go to the party with me. But she willingly went to my house, where we spent hours blowing each other’s minds with the hottest sex I’d ever had. More than that, I thought we connected more than just physically. Showed just how stupid I was. I wondered at what point of the night she left.
“Uh oh.” Porter’s voice broke through my depressing thoughts. “It didn’t go well? Did you use Janie?”
Visions of her underneath me, her dark hair spread out behind her as I slid inside her filled my mind. Did you use Janie? No, but I think she used me.
I pulled my bottle to my lips and took a long swallow. “Yes, I hired Janie. We had a great time.”
Porter tapped his fingers on the table. “Buuuuut…”
“But nothing,” I lied. It was pointless to lie to him, but I tried anyway.
“Bullshit,” he said. “Tell me the fucking truth, you moron. What really happened?”
I fiddled with the label on my bottle again, wishing I didn’t feel like such a failure. Everything was always so easy for Porter, so simple. He could sleep with women and not worry about them the next day. He didn’t get all attached to them and brood around like an idiot.
I blew out a breath, knowing Porter wouldn’t stop until I spilled it. “We had an amazing day. She’s really something.”
“Now we’re getting somewhere. Damn, I would’ve killed to see that woman in a bathing suit. I bet she was hot as hell, wasn’t she? Curves in all the right places and fuckable tits.”
My chest tightened at the crass way he spoke about her, and I knew I didn’t like it. I felt…possessive. Prematurely, but possessive nonetheless. My heart crashed in my chest as I remembered my hands and mouth on all those curves. The way she tasted was enough to satisfy a starving man for years.
“Oh, hell. You fucked her, didn’t you?”
There was never, ever getting anything past Porter. Not only was he the most perceptive person on the planet, but when you couple that with him being my twin, he knew it all without me saying a word.
I lifted my head to meet his incredulous gaze and he whistled. “Hot damn, brother. I’m jealous as fucking hell right now. You must give me all the details.”
The details. I could tell him the sounds she made or the way she wrapped around me so perfectly, or maybe I should tell him how I hired an escort and stupidly believed she wanted to stay with me, but I woke up alone. I couldn’t tell him. And it made me burn with a tinge of anger or jealousy that he wanted her, too.
“Dude, you look like you just lost your puppy instead of getting some amazing pussy, because there’s no way she wasn’t good. Fuck my job and missing out on doing her. You have to give me the details, bro. Think she’d be up for some sharing, like old times?”
Porter sounded like an asshole to anyone who may be listening, but I knew he wasn’t. He just didn’t see things the way I saw them. Which was why things ended the way they did with Dahlia. He never led women on or made them think he was “the one” for him. He was married to his job, for better or for worse. Sleeping with willing women was just the way for him to relieve the stress of his career while keeping his vows to the medical field. He had his standards. He refused to sleep with married women, or those with boyfriends. He was a lot of things, but a homewrecker wasn’t one of them.
“She was gone when I woke up this morning.” I couldn’t share with Porter the details of being inside her, how it made me feel to watch her come undone under me. How I slept better than I had in years, with no nightmares or waking up sweating having thought I heard an explosion.
Porter sat back, and his mouth opened slightly as he processed my words. “She spent the night?”
I forgot Porter thought it was a cardinal sin to share a bed with a woman after sex. “Well, yes, but at some point, she must’ve left. I don’t even know how she got back to her car since I took her in mine from the beach.”
He laughed. “So let me get this straight. You have a date with her at the beach, and she went home with you afterward. You have what I assume would be fabulous sex, and she shares your bed with you. Except she leaves and you wake up alone.”
I frowned. “That’s what I said, asshole.”
Porter signaled for another round of beers for us. “Well, shit. You must be rusty in the sack, bro. How long has it been? And why would you leave her car at the beach? That’s just dumb.”
I knew he was teasing, but it got to me anyway, like he insinuated that he would be so much better. “Shut up, Port.” I thought about the many, many orgasms I’d given her over several hours and knew that wasn’t it. She was into it just as much as I was.
“Dude.” He slammed his bottle down, making a small splash of beer come out of the top. “You’re into her. Like, not just about sex. You like her.” He laughed again. “You have feelings for the escort, don’t you, Breck.”
The way he said it sounded ridiculous, and I knew it was. I also knew he was right, but I didn’t want to talk about her with him. I didn’t want to admit my feelings or the way waking up alone crushed me. She was young, too young for the likes of us, and God only knew what her story was for why she had to escort men for money.
I didn’t want to think about what else she did for money or that she was that kind of person. But then again, what did I know?
I crossed my arms in front of my chest. “I just met her, Port. I don’t have feelings beyond how good it was when my dick was in that warm, tight pussy,” I lied. Deflect, deflect, deflect, Breck. He doesn’t need to know the truth. How being with her felt more right than anything in a long time.
All I had to do was remember Dahlia to know that hiding my feelings from Porter was about the only thing I could hide from him, because he never had feelings for women.
He had his vaccine years ago, and now he would never fall prey to the illness.
He was immune.
I was sad for him, but he seemed to be fine with it so who was I to judge.
Porter groaned. “You’re killing me. Now I need a warm, tight pussy to go home with me but not spend the night.” He glanced around the busy restaurant before giving up and turning back to me after he didn’t see anyone up to his caliber. “Dude, that was your first mistake. When hiring an escort, don’t invite her home with you. She’s more than likely not going to stay.”
“If you would’ve slept with her, would you have kicked her out afterward?” The thought of her sleeping with Porter had all sorts of weird feelings blooming in my chest, and I found myself clenching my fists in anticipation of his answer.
“If I hadn’t gotten called into work, and I got to tap that, I would’ve kept her up all night showing her just what magic my wand can do, then pat her bottom out the door when we were done. No sleeping happens with Porter around.”
I had a fleeting thought of Porter hir
ing Janie again for an event, and panic started clawing at my chest. “Will you hire an escort again?”
He shrugged. “It was kind of nice to have those piranha's leave me alone for a night. Plus, Janie is hot as fuck, so having her breast pressed up against my arm for the night was not a hardship. If all the women are as hot as her, it would be well worth the money. Plus, if I get a few who wouldn’t mind a few extras, it saves me the time and energy finding them.”
I nodded and sighed as the waitress put our burgers in front of us. I turned my attention to eating and tried my hardest to convince myself that Porter was right, and that no matter if he hired her or someone else—Janie wasn’t mine to have. Just because I slept with her didn’t mean a thing, obviously. My empty bed this morning said it all.
Janie was a fun night, but that was all. I needed to have Porter’s outlook on life and stop getting so attached to people who didn’t reciprocate. That’s how I always got hurt.
“Mornin’, Breck.” Danny, the director of The Hangout Zone, called out to me as I walked into the office to put my things away.
“Hey, Danny. How’s it going?”
“Can’t complain now that you’re here. You know, someday I’ll steal you away full time.”
I laughed. “You can’t afford me, you know that.”
He guffawed. “That’s for damn sure. Well, I’m glad you’re here for the summer. You’re the most popular counselor I have.”
I shook my head. “You probably say that to all your counselors.”
The old man shrugged, resting his hands on his ample middle. “Maybe, but it’s the truth when I say it to you.”
The Hangout Zone was a teen hangout for at-risk kids in our community. I volunteered here over the summer to give myself something to do, and because it helped me stay connected to the teens in my area. Many of them came here because they had no guidance at home—their parents were in jail or dead, or the like. Sometimes being here was the only way they got a meal and a caring adult at all. Over the last several years, I mentored many kids who were now self-sufficient adults. Every once in a while, I got a student or two here, and it gave me the opportunity to help them in a more casual setting, but since this hangout was not necessarily close to my high school, it was few and far between.
When I had moved back home permanently, I found this place and it instantly clicked. If I could, I would put my entire heart and soul into working here and helping these kids. Many of them were foster kids with no hope of having a family, and it tore at my heart.
“What’s on the agenda today?” I asked, shutting the door to the small locker where we had to keep all personal items. They learned that the hard way, being in an at-risk area and all.
“The kids are eating breakfast. We have a small group right now, but it’s the first day of our all-day summer camp. I assume many of the teens will roll in at lunchtime.”
The Hangout Zone was open every day, 365 days a year, but unless it was a school holiday or summer, it was only open after school until ten at night. The kids could come and go as they pleased, which made it more popular since they didn’t feel “locked in” to staying.
“We’ll do our usual spiel about what is allowed and isn’t after lunch, then we’ll do some get-to-know-you games and give out prizes, of course.”
“Of course.” Danny knew the way to the teens’ hearts, and that was with food, candy, or soda. He’d been the director here for over twenty years, and many of the kids who had been around for a few years called him “Dad.” Sadly, he was probably the only father figure many of them had.
“What do you want me to do now?” I asked.
Danny considered the schedule on his computer. “Why don’t you go assist Sara with intake, and see if she needs any help with planning the games for this afternoon.”
“Done. See you later, Dan.” I left the office and made my way down the hallway to the open rec area. About twenty kids sat around, talking, eating, or playing pool or table tennis.
I found Sara and helped her organize paperwork, both of us getting into a silent rhythm. Silence was never good for me these days. It had been two weeks since I woke up, and Janie was gone. Every day I forced myself not to dial the number for the escort service and make up some excuse to hire her again, but the main thing that stopped me was the fact that she knew where I lived. If she wanted to get in touch with me and left without saying goodbye, she must not want to see me again.
Both things bothered me, but I tried to tell myself it didn’t matter. I hired her for a job that she did, and then we had fun, a lot of fun together. She went farther with me than she did with Port, and she refused to give him her number, too.
She just wasn’t that into me, or she was just the kind of girl who had no need for a guy the second time. I would swear she wasn’t that kind of girl, but what the hell did I know. It was proven that women were a mystery to me. A mystery I needed to stop trying to figure out.
As it got busier and more kids came in, my focus switched from Janie to connecting with the teens who needed me.
Sara handed me a stack of papers and smiled. She was a few years younger than me and worked for Danny full time. She was a nice girl who thought she owed Danny her life after she was one of the at-risk teens he took in here years ago. She was a great testament to the kids who came in here, and a success story to show them that your life circumstances didn’t have to define you.
“You seem distracted today. Is everything okay?”
“Yes. Just thinking. Do you smell the smoke?”
She laughed and I joined her. “You ready to go get some activities going?”
“Sure thing.” We had a group of about seventy kids now. For our first day, that was great. It was also sad there were that many teens in need of somewhere to go.
I followed Sara outside, where several of the other counselors were setting things up. I shut the door behind me when a young girl caught my attention. She stood off to the side, biting her nails. She had dark hair and big eyes but was extremely skinny and seemed like she’d rather be anywhere but here. She couldn’t be more than fourteen, and I would only guess that because that was the minimum age to be part of The Hangout Zone.
I glanced around to see if she was here with someone, but I didn’t see anyone. As a male counselor, I had to be very careful with the teen girls, especially the ones from hard home lives. They learned early that the way to get anywhere was with their body, and that was something I had to be cognizant of with both this and my job. I was never alone with a student, no matter what.
“Hi,” I said, stopping a few feet from her. “I’m Breck. Are you new here today?”
Her eyes widened and she nodded, working her lip between her teeth.
“Did you get some lunch?”
She nodded again but still didn’t say anything.
“Did you come with someone, or are you here alone?”
She appraised me up and down, gauging how safe I was, I assumed. I knew that wary stare well, unfortunately.
“I work here every summer. I’m also a high school teacher.”
Her shoulders visibly relaxed and a cautious smile curled her lips. “I’m Chrissy. I came here with my neighbor Allie. She’s over there.” Chrissy indicated a blonde chatting up one of the teen guys. “She said it was fun here. I’m new in town, and she’s the only friend I have. This seems like a pretty cool place. Better than staring at the four walls of my room all day.”
I nodded, relieved she started talking. “Welcome, Chrissy. I’m glad you came, and I hope you have fun.” I felt her gaze on me as I moved over toward the other counselors. By the time I glanced back to see if she moved, she was gone, now mingling with Allie and a few of the other kids.
There was something about the look in her eyes that told me she had a story, like most of the kids here. Most kids, even teens, trusted adults they came across. Eyes like hers whose first reaction was wary and distrustful meant something had happened to her. I could only guess which ho
rrible past she had, but I hoped that being here did something for her new beginning.
I found myself thinking about Chrissy the rest of the afternoon, even long after she left with Allie, and I couldn’t quite put my finger on why. The counselors here all knew Allie and liked her. She had a good head on her shoulders and would likely go somewhere in life. I worried about all the kids here, which was why this volunteering was a double-edged sword. I could help the kids while they were here, but the second they walked out the doors, life smacked many of them right back down to reality.
It was a burden I had in my job, too, but I knew making a difference in one kid’s life was better than never making an impact at all. Porter might physically heal someone and give them a lease on life, but I took great care in trying to show wayward teenagers that an adult could and did care about them.
“You okay?” Sara nudged me and smiled. She was a cute girl, and we were friends. When I wasn’t here, though, we weren’t social.
“Yeah. I was just thinking about Chrissy.”
She furrowed her brow, trying to remember. “Was she new today?”
I nodded. “Yeah. With Allie.”
“Oh, yeah. Why? What was it about her?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I just sense something in her. Maybe it was the distrustful way she stared at me until she realized I didn’t want anything from her, like whatever experience she’s had with men, it isn’t a good one. Or the way she finally lightened up and smiled with Allie and some of the other kids.”
Sara reached over and rested her hand on my forearm. “You’re a great guy, Breck. I’m so glad you come here. You really care about the kids, and they know it.” She smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “This job is hard. We want so badly to help these kids, but it isn’t always possible. Some of their realities are so sad we don’t even want to know, because it would tear us up not to be able to fix it.”
What she said hit home, and I sighed. “Some people shouldn’t be parents.” When she nodded in agreement, I thought of Chrissy again. She said she just moved here. Maybe her situation had improved—hopefully, it hadn’t been from one bad situation to another.
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