“Damn car took a dump.” I laughed, mostly to keep the tears at bay. Tears of embarrassment and shame over him seeing who I really was. I wasn’t escort Janie, I was from-the-wrong-side-of-the-tracks Raven. “And I must’ve left my phone at home.”
A smile quirked up one side of his handsome face, and the familiar butterflies started fluttering in my stomach. I hated myself for every single one of them. “Sounds like you’ve had quite a day already. Come on. Let’s get you off this busy road before someone kills you.”
I shook my head. “Can I just use your phone to call my roommate? Then I won’t keep you. What are you doing, anyway? Do you always stop to help random people on the side of the road?”
He shrugged, looking sheepish. “Not always, no. I’m on my way home after a brutal shift that should’ve ended hours ago, and I saw the car. Something told me to stop. Now I know why. And you can use my phone, but I’m not leaving you here, so come on. That’s just not the guy I am.”
Port held out his hand for me to climb over to the passenger side to get out without getting run over, but I hesitated. “I have to go to class. And to work.”
His brow lifted, his hand still outstretched. “Well, come on. I’ll get you to class and make sure your car is taken care of.”
I reluctantly put my hand in his and allowed him to help me out of the car. After grabbing my bag for school and making sure the piece of shit was locked, I followed him to the Maserati I’d ridden in the night of the benefit.
The second I sat down in the plush leather seat, visions of Porter kissing and touching me consumed my thoughts. As if he was inside my head, he turned to face me and smiled, his straight white teeth sent lust straight to my core again.
What was it about these men?
Porter reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, and I sucked in a breath at his touch. The tension was palpable between us, and I didn’t understand it.
“Where do you want your car towed to?” It wasn’t what I expected to come out of his mouth, and I was momentarily taken aback.
“Frankie’s. They work with me every time that piece of crap dies on me.” I fought to keep my voice even when it felt anything but. Porter nodded and pulled out into traffic, the purr of the engine rumbling under me. “Thanks. I’m such a disaster today.”
“Once we get on campus, tell me where to go to drop you off,” Porter said.
“Thank you for helping me.”
He slowed the car at a light and turned to me. “I haven’t stopped thinking of you since that night. And here you are, right in front of me. I’m not quite sure what to do with that right now.”
My throat dried out and my heart thumped in my chest. I know the feeling. I was thinking of you…and your brother…just moments before you appeared behind me. I didn’t know how to respond to him, so I chose to stay quiet.
“I know you spent the night with my brother,” Porter continued. My face flamed and my eyes immediately burned with unshed tears. “Hey.” He lifted my chin. “It’s okay. I’m not the forever kind of guy, anyway. Not that you’re looking for that…” He stopped and shook his head. “Shit, I can’t even talk correctly right now. The thing is—it’s great to see you. I don’t know why I said anything about Breck. It doesn’t matter to me. The only thing I wish is that I could’ve been the one who got you first. And I know I sound like a prick when I say that. So I’m not passing judgment, Janie. Not at all.”
“Raven.” My name fell from my lips before I could even register I had said it. My eyes widened immediately, and I clapped a hand over my mouth. Fuck. His words reverberated around my confused brain and I wasn’t sure which thing he said that shocked me more.
“What?” The light turned green, and he pressed the gas, forced to turn his attention back to the road and keep his penetrating gaze off me. I could finally breathe without him staring at me so intently. My face was on fire and it spread to every nerve ending in my body.
“Nothing.” I couldn’t repeat it.
He turned into the campus, and I sighed in relief. I had to get out of this car, no matter the fact that I was hours early for my class. “The first building on the right up here.”
That wasn’t my building at all, and in fact was as far away as I could get from my class, but if I stayed here with him any longer, I would do something stupid. He knew I had slept with Breck. I wasn’t ashamed of it, far from it, but what I was ashamed of was how I’d left him without a word after the amazing night we had.
And that being in this car with Porter made me think things I didn’t want to admit. Things that made me feel like a whore. Like the fact that I wanted to climb over the expensive console and straddle his lap.
He pulled over to the curb in front of the building, and I lifted my bag into my lap, my hands shaky.
“You’re taking summer classes, huh?” He lifted his sunglasses, and I gazed into the eyes I dreamed about, the ones identical to the other ones I dreamed about. I didn’t miss his gaze scanning down my body and settling on my bare legs before lifting back to my face.
“Yes.” I wanted to offer him more information, but I couldn’t make my mouth move. I was still in shock that I sat here in his car, after all this time, and the way he made me feel just in the few minutes we’d been together.
His hot gaze tore a hole in my composure, and I lifted my lips in a smile until he spoke. “You said ‘Raven’ before. Is that your real name?”
My face fell. Shit. Fuck. Hell. He’d heard me in my moment of insanity. I didn’t know whether to lie or confess. “I—”
He put his hand on my knee, and I jerked in response. I swore he just touched me with an electric current. I had to get out of here.
“You can talk to me, you know. I may not be a forever kind, but I’m a good friend.”
I thought about his words for a moment. Other than Emma, I didn’t have many people I trusted wholly as a friend. Classmates, acquaintances, yes, but otherwise, I learned early in life not to get too close to people.
I took a deep breath, fighting against my instinct to shut down and keep everyone out—and the way he made me feel while being around him.
“Why do you care, Porter? I’m nobody special. Just an escort you hired to go with you to a dinner.” The second the words were out of my mouth I regretted them. There was no reason for me to act like an inconsiderate asshole just because he scared me.
But Porter wasn’t angry. In fact, he seemed the opposite. “Oh, Janie…what I would like to do to that sassy mouth. If only I hadn’t had to work that night, you would’ve known what it was like to be so sated from all the orgasms I gave you that you wouldn’t know what else to say except ‘yes.’ But I missed out on showing you that, so I guess you’ll just have to take my word for it. Unless…”
Lust shot through my body as he traced my lips with his finger, the promise of what he suggested hanging between us. I could smell his aftershave and feel his warm breath against my skin. “Raven.” I said it again, and this time, he knew exactly what I meant. I earned the stupid award today, that was for damn sure.
He grinned. “I knew it. Raven is your real name, isn’t it?” He leaned closer and touched his lips to mine, and I allowed it because there was no stopping whatever would happen here. He tasted like mint and a little like coffee, which was more than likely what he survived on for however many hours he was at work. Just before I allowed him to deepen the kiss, he pulled back, but just far enough to speak. “That name suits you way more than Janie. Janie is too plain for a knockout like you.” His gaze dropped to my low tank top and down farther to my shorts. “I know you have to get to class, Raven, but I want to see you again. Please don’t tell me no.”
I furrowed my brow, confused by him. He told me he wasn’t a forever kind of guy, he knew I slept with his brother, but he still wanted to see me. I didn’t get it. I also didn’t understand why my brain contemplated his words like it was something I may possibly do.
“See me?” The words sounded
like a squeak, and I cleared my throat to try to get some semblance of control back.
Porter ran his finger down my face and arm, making me squirm when he traced my upper thigh. Tension flowed between us, and I thought of the night I went home with him and the way he kissed me. In the next second, however, I thought about Breck and the way he looked at me when he touched me…
“My brother is the forever kind,” he whispered against my lips. That wasn’t the first time he said that in our conversation, and every time he said the words, it killed me a little more inside, because I knew I could never be the forever kind of girl. “So if that’s what you want, he’s the one for you. I won’t promise to ever be the forever guy. I will promise, however, to fuck you so well you won’t care about anything else. So, it’s up to you. If you want to just be friends, I’m cool. Though on a regular basis, I’m a rather shitty friend. I work too much and sleep around. But if your car ever breaks down, and I’m on my way home, Raven, I’m the friend that’ll be there for you. But if you want to be the kind of friend who blows each other’s minds, well, then I’m the best kind of friend.”
My head spun with his words. My brother is the forever kind, but I’ll fuck you so well you won’t care about anything else.
“Put your number in my phone, Raven.” His voice was low and sent tingles up and down my spine. “I’ll text you and you’ll have mine when you get your phone back. I won’t call or text you. The ball is in your court. And trust me, baby, I have no hard feelings.” He smirked, lifting my hand and twining it with his. “The only thing that’s hard is my cock when I think about sinking inside you.”
My mouth dried out, and I licked my lips. When his eyes zeroed in on my lips, I knew he would kiss me again, and this time, it would be the kind that would curl my toes and leave me panting. I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to or not, but I was powerless against moving as he leaned closer and brushed his lips over mine. I was disappointed when he pulled back quickly.
“D-don’t tell anyone my name, okay? N-not even Breck.” Regret seeped into my bones and settled like a rock in my stomach. He made me not able to think correctly, and I made a stupid decision and told him my real name.
He cupped the side of my face. “I’ll only use your name if we talk on the phone as friends or in person when I’m balls deep in you and am losing my shit. Then I may yell your name so loud everyone in the vicinity will know it, but I doubt you’ll be upset about that because they’ll all hear my name shouted repeatedly. Then again, you could just call me ‘God.’”
I flushed, not able to contain the laugh that bubbled up in my throat. He was too much. Hey, at least he was honest.
“I like that sound,” he said. “Shit, Raven, you better go to class before I put this sports car to good use and get you back to my house in under five minutes and you undressed and riding my cock in less than six.”
I squeezed my legs together at his words. There was something about the brash way he said what he thought I liked. He must’ve been on his best behavior the night of the benefit.
“I make you wet, don’t I?” Porter’s low voice made me shiver. “If I touched you right now, you’d be dripping. You want me to drive you away from here and have my way with you, don’t you? It doesn’t bother me that you had my brother. I don’t get jealous. I want to take you to places only I can, Raven. What do you think about that? My cock is so hard at the thought of sliding inside that sweet pussy. If you touched me right now, I would probably shoot my load, that’s how worked up you get me. I regret every day that I didn’t get to have you that night.”
I tried to swallow but couldn’t. My heart hammered in my chest, and it made me slightly nauseous because I contemplated exactly what he said. I did want him. I also wanted his brother.
“I have to go.” I reached for the door handle and fumbled with it, so he leaned over and pushed the door open for me. I couldn’t do this. I had to get out of here and put my head on straight before I did something I couldn’t take back. I knew if I went home with Porter and let him fuck me, I would be even more messed up than I already was, and it would be the fault of both Kingsley brothers.
I knew I may also never recover from having both of them.
“Think of me tonight,” he said, his voice deep and rumbling. When I glanced back at him, his expression was that of a hungry wolf that set his sight on its prey. “Because I can tell you, I’ll be thinking of you as soon as I get home, and probably many more times after that, too. If you change your mind and want me to give you a ride later, you know how to contact me.” The double meaning made my legs quiver.
I grabbed my bag and stepped away from the car. My face felt like it was on fire, as did every female part of my body that screamed for me to get back into that car and let him do all the things he wanted to do. But there was something bigger stopping me, and I was terrified to think about what that meant.
I took a deep breath and forced my legs to walk away from him before I did something stupid. He sat there until I made it inside the building. I watched from the window until he drove away, and then I stepped back out of the building and continued my walk across campus. As my heart rate settled, and my head cleared, I became furious with myself.
I couldn’t believe I let Porter rile me up so much that I contemplated what he offered. No-strings sex. Friends with benefits, no feelings attached. My brother is the forever kind. I was twenty-one years old with more baggage than an airport. I didn’t have any business getting involved with anyone on any level. It was a mistake that I had already gotten involved with Breck, and I knew it.
But what I should do and what I wanted to do weren’t the same thing.
What Porter promised was tempting, and my legs still shook and my libido raced after his promise, but despite it all, my thoughts kept going back to Breck. The night we spent together meant more to me than anything in my life ever had. I didn’t think what we did was just physical, but maybe I was mistaken. Then again, I was that the one who left and never contacted him again. And I knew it had to be that way.
Two brothers, completely different, but both with a strange hold over a part of my heart, which was ridiculous because neither of them really knew me at all.
12
Raven
I lay back in bed, my phone in my hand. My car was too far gone to be replaced so I sold it to the mechanic garage for almost nothing and was now on the search for a new one. Emma had been helping me for almost a week, but it was challenging when we both had work. Thankfully, we hadn’t overlapped yet, but I still needed to find something affordable. Emma offered again to give me money, but I didn’t want her to do that. I set aside what I would need to get Chrissy ready for school and for bills and with all the work I’d been doing, I had enough for a decent used car. I was off tonight and Emma was at work and Chrissy was with Allie, so I decided to do some searching online.
My phone dinged with a text message, and I glimpsed the message at the top of the screen, figuring it was Chrissy telling me she arrived at the movies. The second I saw Porter’s name, I sat straight up, the phone plunking into my lap.
He promised me he wouldn’t contact me. He promised! I couldn’t stop the butterflies from taking flight again, though, at the thought of reading what it said.
My hands shook as I lifted the phone and clicked on the text app. I forced myself to breathe as I waited to see what he said.
Go out with me tonight, the message read.
I didn’t know if he meant go out with him like he wanted to hire me, or go out with him like he wanted to take me on a date. From what I gathered, Porter didn’t “date.” He fucked. And I already knew he tempted me beyond belief.
I stared at the screen for far too long, trying to decide if I should respond at all.
I know I said I wouldn’t contact you, but I can’t stop thinking about you. Please answer me.
“Shit,” I said aloud. I stood up, pacing my room with the phone in my hand. I knew what would happen if I went out wi
th him, and I couldn’t do it. As much as my traitorous body wanted to find out what could happen with us, I knew I couldn’t cross that line.
Ever since he dropped me off at school, my thoughts and sexual fantasies went back and forth between him and Breck. And the two of them at the same time. The comments he made about them “sharing” had me intrigued, though I wasn’t sure I could ever go through with something like that.
“Just answer him, Raven,” I said to myself. “Just tell him you aren’t interested.”
Thoughts of the promises he made me last time we were together floated through my brain. He was kinky, and he made it obvious what he would do to me and what he wanted from me. I don’t want a commitment and neither does he, though. So what’s the harm, right? A night of sex without worrying about what happens after isn’t that big of a deal.
Breck’s face as he slid himself inside me flooded my memory, and I stopped in my tracks. I had hurt him; I knew I did. Despite us just meeting that day, there was something more there. But what Port said about his brother scared me too much to admit. I didn’t need to get attached to someone who wanted forever.
Where do you want to go? I typed and pressed send before I chickened out. I wouldn’t sleep with him.
I wouldn’t.
But he offered me friendship before, before he offered to fuck me senseless, and I could use that.
Well, I could use both things, but I needed to use my brain and take the friendship.
I would just have to make it clear that was all I could do.
Come to my house. I’ll make dinner. You remember where it is?
I laughed out loud, sounding like a loon in my empty apartment.
Ravenous: The Kingsley Brothers Duet Page 13