I thanked Porter silently for having an easy code, our birthday, and I brought up his messages. There were some to his coworkers and some nurse he apparently fucked name Zahara because she sent him some racy text messages with suggestions of things he could do to her.
He was right, there were no messages from Janie at all. I refused to think about the fact that I just checked up on my brother to make sure he told me the truth. We never lied to each other, good or bad. The fact I was now questioning him said more about me than it did him, and I knew that. I went to his contacts and searched for her name, only to come up with nothing. There were no Janie’s in his address book. But he said he programmed her number into his phone. I exited his contacts and went to the notes app, thinking maybe he put it there instead. He had notes about things he needed at the grocery store, procedures to research, and other random things, but no number for Janie.
I strummed my fingers on the countertop, my mind working overtime trying to figure this out. She gave him her real name. The thought knocked the breath out of me, and I bent over the counter, my fingers gripping the edge of the counter so hard it hurt. I refused to think too hard about why this was so painful for me, but I already knew.
She gave him a part of her she didn’t share with me.
And when I told him, just an hour ago, that I didn’t want him to contact Janie and pursue her, he didn’t tell me her real name.
I no longer had confidence that Porter cared about how I felt about her, and for the first time in my life, I didn’t trust my brother to do what was best for me.
Despite the night we had together, there was still something about her that she held back. I knew it, but I had hoped that it would come with time. I went back to the beginning of his contacts, scanning each female name he had. I, of course, had no idea who many of them were. I had no clue at all what her real name was and it wasn’t like a neon flashing light would illuminate telling me that it was her.
I pushed the phone away, disgusted with myself. I was out of control. This woman had seriously sent me right over the edge, and I had no idea how to handle it other than to ask Porter to tell me her name. But if he were really on board with what I told him earlier, he would’ve told me already. He kept a secret for her. She didn’t want me to know.
The thought sent a boulder directly to the pit of my stomach.
14
Raven
It’s Raven. I backspaced and erased it. Hey Port. Sorry it’s been so long. I backspaced and erased it again. It would be nice to be friends. Would you mind giving me your brother’s phone number real quick? Delete. I threw my phone on my bed and groaned. I had no business texting Porter because I didn’t even know what to say to him. Everything sounded wrong because it was all wrong.
Porter and I hadn’t talked in weeks. After he propositioned to pay me for sex and I turned him down, I hadn’t talked to him since.
I didn’t know what to do with my thoughts about both handsome Kingsley brothers, but I knew one thing. I needed to talk to Breck. It was beyond time to apologize for leaving, and I needed to deal with my residual feelings about that night. Maybe I overthought it. God knew I was good at that sort of thing. Porter said his brother was the forever kind of guy, but maybe he wasn’t. Maybe Breck was a playboy like Porter, and he was totally fine with the way things ended and Porter was just mistaken. Maybe if I made things right with Breck and got that guilt out of my mind, I could do no-strings with Porter.
I didn’t believe that was true, though. Not from the way Breck treated me that night. I knew him hiring me that day was way out of his comfort zone. I knew the way his co-workers talked about him and to him that he was one of the most genuine people out there. That didn’t mean he couldn’t show a woman a good time and then forget about her, but I doubted he ever had done that in his life. I mean, he did want me to stay there with him all night. He did wrap his body around mine as we came down from our night of bliss and fell asleep with me.
Not all guys did that.
I’d never been with a man older than me—at least not almost nine years older. Maybe that was just the way mature men who knew their way around a woman did things. But I didn’t think Porter was the snuggly, cuddle up and sleep together kind of person.
I was so confused, and I didn’t think I wanted the friends-with-benefits thing Porter offered, because my reaction to both of them meant I would end up with feelings, and he didn’t want that. However, I didn’t think I was ready for what Porter said his brother was. The forever kind of guy. His words haunted my dreams and nightmares.
Because the second Breck finds out where you come from and what you are, he’ll drop you like the trash you are. Emma said it, and it’s true. You may live in a nice place now, but it doesn’t change where you came from. You don’t deserve either one of them.
The resolution was to let them both go, but I had a difficult time coming to grips with that.
I wanted to text Porter and ask him for his brother’s phone number, but I didn’t want to give him the wrong idea about my intentions. I could drive to Breck’s house, but I couldn’t make myself do that. It seemed too presumptuous. So instead, I would keep ignoring the situation and wish for my confusing feelings to go away.
That was the best option for everyone.
Porter could continue sleeping his way through every willing woman in the county, and Breck could find someone who was ready for forever. Who was worthy of it.
Because it sure as shit wasn’t me.
Tonight was Chrissy’s Open House at her new high school, and I needed to focus on my responsibilities with her. She still had therapy sessions twice a week, and I started doing one a week with her. We talked a lot about our mother, and how the things Chrissy saw and heard as a young child molded the way she saw herself.
She put on over ten pounds, and her skin just radiated now. I loved seeing her smile. Allie had introduced her to several other friends, and I thought Chrissy may have had her first crush on a cute freshman named Oliver who would be at school with her.
It made me uneasy on the parenting side, but Chrissy was smart, and I had to remember that. As her sister, it made my day. She said they were just friends, but she got that faraway look in her eyes the second his name was mentioned, and she and Allie spent a lot of time giggling in her bedroom and Snapchatting with the other kids.
“You ready, Raves?” Chrissy’s head popped into my room, and I gasped. She was gorgeous. She had her dark hair curled and pinned up on the sides. Her makeup was tastefully done and highlighted her bright blue eyes, her best feature. She wore a pair of white capris and a flowered blouse. Strappy sandals showed off the pedicure she and I got the other day.
My sister was a knockout.
“Wow,” I said. “You look so pretty, Chris.”
She blushed, turning in a circle in the doorway. “Thank you. Allie said so, too.”
“Is Allie going, too?” I stood up from my desk chair and grabbed my purse. I wore jeans and a blouse and hoped I didn’t seem too out of place. It was strange enough to be taking Chrissy as her guardian. I hoped it didn’t embarrass her too much.
“No. She’s a sophomore and doesn’t need to go. She said she would go with me if I wanted her to, but I said I had you.”
Tears stung behind my eyes at her words. I felt like a proud mother. “Awe, that’s so sweet, baby girl. I hope I’m not too embarrassing for you.”
Chrissy stopped and turned back to me. “Why would I be embarrassed by you?”
I shrugged. “You know, the kids looking at me and wondering who I am and why you don’t have a parent with you.”
Chrissy linked her arm with mine. “Are you serious? All the kids and teachers alike will be drooling over how hot my sister is. They’ll wish they had someone as cool as you to bring them to Open House, and all the teachers will be dropping their phone numbers on my desk for you. Besides, even if our mother were alive she never would go to a school event with me. And if she ever did, that would be
the most embarrassing thing I could imagine. ‘Hey Chrissy, why does your mom seem like she hasn’t showered in years?’ or, ‘Hey Chrissy, what are those track marks on your mom’s arms? And why are her teeth rotting out of her head? Hey, didn’t I see her on the street corner last week?’”
I laughed, even though neither of us thought it was funny that she told the truth. Thank God she never showed up for any school functions. Being known as the absent parent was better than the reality.
“Let’s go. If we get out of here now, we can stop and get tacos.” Chrissy had a complete obsession with tacos, and I knew a place just as good, if not better, than her favorite place at home.
Home. The word for most of our lives was a four-letter word. Now it meant something different, something positive. We would never step foot in the town we grew up in again, but I could see us staying here at least until Chrissy graduated high school and decided what she wanted to do. Who knew what we would do then.
“The last class I have for the day is English,” Chrissy said, her face buried in her schedule. “Room 212.” She glanced up at me and laughed. “That means back upstairs.”
“Well, you’ll get lots of exercise as a freshman.”
“That’s for darn sure.” She began to walk and expected me to follow, which I did. “Come on, let’s go. After this, can we get ice cream? Allie said she and her mom could meet us.”
“Of course, we can.” I didn’t get to spend much time talking to Liz, Allie’s mom, but I liked her. “Let’s go meet this English teacher.” All of Chrissy’s teachers seemed great so far. She qualified for advanced and honors classes due to her grades in middle school. This girl never ceased to amaze me. If she kept it up, she could qualify for college level classes as a junior.
We followed a group of kids back up the stairs it seemed we had just walked up a few minutes before and glanced in both directions to see which way room 212 seemed to be.
“I think it’s this way.” Chrissy linked her arm with mine. We’d gotten a few intrigued looks from parents and students alike, but she introduced me as her big sister to every teacher we met, and no one asked any further questions. Then again, I assumed they all had her file and probably knew way more than I wanted them to about her story.
“Here it is.” She stopped behind a group attempting to make their way into the room, too. Chrissy peered over at me. “Who knew English was this popular,” she whispered.
A girl in front of us turned. “Oh no,” she whispered back. “It’s not the subject. It’s the teacher.”
Chrissy’s brow furrowed. “What does that mean?”
The girl laughed. “You’ll see. Every kid and parent wants this teacher.” With that she turned back around, leaving both of us bereft.
I nudged Chrissy. “That’s good! She must be a great teacher if this many people want to go see her.”
“I guess.” The crowd started moving, and we stepped into the room. There were so many kids and parents standing around that I couldn’t figure out which one was the teacher. This classroom had about triple the number of people in it from any other classroom we’d been to.
“What’s the teacher’s name for this class?” I asked Chrissy. She perused her schedule again just as someone stumbled into her from behind. Her schedule flew a few feet away to the floor and someone stepped on it as they made their way out of the door.
“I’m so sorry,” the culprit said. He was a student, and a cute one at that. Chrissy blushed as she saw just how adorable he was. “Are you okay?”
Chrissy nodded. “Yes, fine. Are you?”
The boy smiled. “Yeah, just clumsy. I’m Brooks.”
Chrissy glanced at me. “Chrissy.”
“Nice to meet you, Chrissy. I have to run, but I look forward to getting to know you.” He shook her hand and then mine before running out of the room.
Chrissy bent and picked up her schedule, smoothing the wrinkles from it. “He was nice.”
I smiled. “He sure was. And cute, too.”
She giggled. “He was. Now, let’s find this teacher before we get trampled.”
“So nice to meet you, Mr. K. We’ve heard great things about you.” I turned at the voice saying Mr. K and realized we must be near the teacher. Good. This room made me feel claustrophobic.
It was like the seas parted, and I caught sight of him the second I heard Chrissy say his name next to me, her eyes fixated on the wrinkled schedule in her hand. “The teacher is a man. His name is Mr. Kingsley. I think he’s over here.” My heart clutched and then skipped as his eyes lifted and met mine. His widened and his mouth dropped as he realized I stood there. His gaze flitted to Chrissy before coming right back to me. Chrissy’s hand wrapped around my arm, and I knew she watched my intense reaction to him, but I couldn’t stop it if I tried.
It was like all the air evaporated out of the room, leaving me staring open mouthed and panting at Brecken Kingsley. Here we were, surrounded by teenagers and their parents, and all I could see while standing just feet from him was him in front of me back at his house, his jutting erection in his hand as he did what I asked. Or him bent over the kitchen counter while he took me over the edge with his mouth. Or his sleeping form as I ran out of the house to help Chrissy after my mom was murdered, and Chrissy was almost sexually assaulted.
I hadn’t laid eyes on him in almost two months, but my body hadn’t forgotten what it felt like to be with him. Or how much I’d wronged him when I walked out without a word.
Chrissy gave me a weird look before turning to her teacher. “Bre-Mr. Kingsley?”
He ripped his gaze from mine and a tight smile crossed his lips. “Hi, Chrissy! It’s nice to see you again.”
“Yes, it is! Small world! You know I’m Chrissy Phillips, but this is my sister and guardian—”
“Nice to meet you,” I said, interrupting her before she said my name. He knew me as Janie. This wasn’t the time or place for this. I remembered him talking about teaching English and JROTC, but I had no idea this was the school. What were the odds? And wait. She’d said nice to see you again. She knew him from somewhere. Just as my brain processed this, I also realized she’d started to say his first name before she corrected herself and used his last name instead. I couldn’t fathom how she knew who he was, but she did.
He opened and closed his mouth but said nothing. People milled around us, but I found myself frozen in place. Seeing him had me all sorts of messed up.
I held out my hand, and he glanced down at it. He worked his lip between his teeth, and I almost groaned. This was not the time for being turned on, but he was doing it. Right here in the middle of his classroom. There had to be a law against being this hot and a teacher. This was what the girl in front of us had meant. The kids and parents alike wanted Mr. Kingsley because he was hot as hell. If they only knew that the way he looked in his classroom was just the beginning of the things that were hot about him.
After what seemed like forever, he lifted his hand and grasped mine. My gaze snapped to his, knowing what I would feel when I touched him. It was the same feeling I had when he grabbed my arm that day at the beach when I thought he was Porter, and what I felt all night as he gave me the best orgasms of my life. His eyes blazed, and his fingers wrapped tightly around mine. He was a little angry, a lot hurt, and even more turned on to see me again.
I could understand all those things.
An entire conversation happened between us as he gripped my fingers. “It’s nice to meet you,” he said to me in words, though our bodies hummed with familiarity. “Welcome to Orange Grove High School.”
My body shook with adrenaline at the proximity of him, and a thought crashed into me like a meteor.
Despite everything with Porter and the temptation I felt while around him, my body didn’t have this same reaction to being with him. While Porter was an enigma and pushed me outside of my comfortable box with his brash, forward ways, I seemed to forget what it was like to be in Breck’s presence. Maybe because I tried
so hard to put it out of my mind.
“N-nice to meet you, too,” I said. Chrissy still glanced back and forth between us. I already knew I would have a lot of questions to answer when we left here, but I had no idea if I should be truthful with her or not.
I pulled my hand back and tucked it into my jeans’ pocket, wishing I could have those fingers between my legs again. No. This isn’t the place, Raven. Now he’s your sister’s teacher. That means he’s definitely off limits. Both Kingsley brothers are your kryptonite. Don’t fall prey to them. You kept one at bay, you have to keep strong.
I turned and grabbed Chrissy’s hand. “Let’s go.”
We walked out of the room, and I picked up my pace, making Chrissy run to stay with me. I knew she wanted to ask what the heck my problem was or what just happened there, but she couldn’t get close enough to me to ask without shouting. I had to get to the car quickly before I lost it.
This was a huge city, one of the biggest in Florida. Yet I’d not only run into Porter when my car broke down, but now I just walked into Breck’s classroom that my sister would be in for the school year. There had to be a few dozen high schools in this county. Fate had a cruel way of putting the Kingsley brothers right in my path so I could continually be reminded they were way out of my league, and I needed to forget ever meeting either of them.
We were halfway down the hallway when I heard rapid footsteps approaching us. Thinking it was another student running, I stepped to the side to let them pass. But the footsteps stopped behind me, and I felt a hand on my arm. The second my arm started burning, I knew who it was. Students and parents stepped around us and kept walking, but they didn’t matter.
“Stop.” Breck put one hand on each of my arms and halted me in my tracks. Chrissy was stopped behind him, her eyes wide as she watched our exchange.
Ravenous: The Kingsley Brothers Duet Page 16