“This isn’t the place,” I said.
He laughed bitterly. “You think I don’t know that?” He glanced over his shoulder at Chrissy. “She’s your sister?”
I nodded, hesitant to give him the rest of the information, but also knowing he was now her teacher and would have it in her paperwork, anyway. “I have custody of her.”
Breck’s eyes flashed something I didn’t recognize. “Just recently, right?”
“I met him at The Hangout Zone this summer,” Chrissy explained. That answered my question about how she knew him already. “I told him I just moved here.” She acted like she wanted to say more, to ask the questions that swirled around her head, but she didn’t.
Chrissy knew him all summer. The ways our lives were connected made my head spin. “Yes,” I said. “Our mother died a few months ago.” The night I ran out of your house.
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
I didn’t want to sound like a callous bitch by saying “don’t be,” so I just smiled.
“Can we talk? I just…” He ran his hand through his short blond hair, making his arm muscles ripple at the motion. God, that body. It made my mouth water at the thought of having him again. Despite knowing it was a horrible idea, and I should walk away right this second, I found myself agreeing. Much like the night I agreed to meet with Porter. The night he propositioned me. And I ran away like the scared little girl I was.
I owed him an explanation, and I knew it, but I was terrified. My brother is the forever kind of guy. The words still haunted me. “I’m taking Chrissy to Ice Screamz to meet her friend. Meet me at Starbucks next door in one hour.”
He swallowed, and I watched as his Adam’s apple bobbed. “I’ll be there. Thank you, J…”
“Raven.” I had to say it before Chrissy heard him call me Janie and the litany of other questions began. If there was something I couldn’t tell my sister and have her understand, it was that I was an escort to support her and lied about who I was to men. That was a conversation for later. Much, much later. Like never.
His eyes widened and his nostrils flared as he registered what I said.
“My name is Raven Jane Phillips.” As my entire name floated between us, it was like a million-pound boulder had just been lifted from my shoulders.
Breck gazed over at Chrissy as if he just remembered she still stood there looking like a deer in headlights watching our exchange. She was no fool, and it was rather obvious that something was going on with us. Once again, I was convicted that this was her teacher, and I had very inappropriate thoughts about him.
“G-give me the keys,” Chrissy said, holding out her hand. “I’ll wait for you in the car.”
I reached into my pocket and gave them to her without breaking eye contact with Breck. “I’ll be right there.”
“No rush,” she called out. “I’ll tell Allie I’ll text her when we leave.”
Chrissy rushed off, and I realized very belatedly that we were mostly alone. A few scattered kids and parents walked down the hall, but that was it. An announcement came on that thanked everyone for coming, and they looked forward to the first day of school.
“Come with me to my classroom.” His voice was so husky it touched me from head to toe, and I knew it wasn’t a request. I followed him, crossing my arms in front of my chest as I shivered. I felt like I had the flu. Feverish, shaky, and sick to my stomach. The Brecken Kingsley flu. It was highly contagious and not easily recovered from.
The room was empty, which was a far cry from how it was when I ran out of here just minutes ago. He closed the door behind us with a soft click, and I swore I could hear his heart beating. Or it was mine. Or it was ours together.
“Raven.”
I whimpered, my knees buckling at the way he said my name. He didn’t have to say it like I was something to be treasured and revered. Apparently, that was the only invitation he needed because his hands were in my hair, and his mouth was on mine before I could try to keep myself from falling to the floor.
I gripped his strong forearms as his tongue dipped into my mouth, swirling deliciously with mine in a familiar dance. He pressed me against the classroom door, our bodies melded together so closely I didn’t think a piece of paper would fit between us. He wedged his knee between my legs as he nipped and sucked on my tongue.
When he finally pulled back, I was lightheaded and dizzy with the need to have him. He rested his forehead against mine, and we stood there silently for several beats, both of us trying to tamper down the reaction our bodies had to the other. He put a hand behind me on the door and lifted his gaze so it locked with mine. Despite their identical looks, Breck’s gaze made me feel naked and exposed, like he saw right through me. Like he knew why I stayed away.
Like he knew me.
“I’ve spent every day of the last two months wanting to find you and do that.” Breck dipped his head and captured my earlobe with his teeth. “You left me, Raven. God, I love that name. It’s so you.”
I lifted my hands and cupped his cheeks. Blue eyes searched my face for what I was about to say, and I hated how hopeful he seemed, because it made me want to hope for things, too. Things I knew I shouldn’t want. “I know. But believe me when I tell you it wasn’t easy for me to walk away. So much has happened…” My voice cracked, and I hated myself for it.
“Please come to my house tonight instead of Starbucks,” Breck whispered, his lips brushing mine again. The smell and nearness of him were so intoxicating, I felt drunk. “I won’t touch you unless you want me to.” He smiled. “I just want to talk, Raven. I can’t stop saying your name. It’s so beautiful.” Breck curled his hand into my hair. “Like this raven hair of yours.”
I thought about Chrissy. I would need to explain a lot to her in the coming days. Emma knew all the details, of course, but I needed advice on what to do here. Every time I was around one of the Kingsleys, I lost my mind.
I nodded. “I have to talk to my sister first. I think we freaked her the hell out.”
“She’s a great kid. I got to know her at the teen hangout.” He shook his head. “I can’t believe all this time, she was your sister.” Breck laughed. “We sure have some cosmic force pushing us together, don’t we?”
He’s a forever kind of guy. “Sure seems like it. Here, give me your phone number. I’ll program it into my phone. Unless it is against the rules for you to have a student’s sister’s phone number.”
Breck’s eyes widened. “I don’t think it is, as long as I’m not calling that student.” He put his lips against my ear. “It might be against the rules what I want to do to you again, though. But I’ll keep my promise, Raven. I won’t touch you until you want me to.”
I want you to right now.
“Can she have another English teacher?” My voice dropped an octave or two, and I knew I was powerless to stop this thing between us, despite knowing I more than likely would break his heart in the end. I tried for two months to keep away from him, but now he knew who I was and part of my story; I knew closing the door on him again would be exponentially harder than before. Even more difficult than walking away from the promise of money and friendship from his playboy twin brother.
The hardest part, though, was I didn’t know if I could ever be the woman he deserved. I didn’t know how to be that woman, either. At least with Porter, I knew what he wanted and what I could give. With Breck, all bets were off.
I reached for the door handle of my car, my hands shaking so badly I could hardly open it. I didn’t know how to process what just happened or the fact that Breck was my sister’s teacher. Or that I agreed to go to his house tonight. The last time I agreed to do such a thing with the man who regarded me with identical eyes, I was propositioned. I could only guess what would happen with Breck.
Chrissy watched my every move as I slid into the car. I turned to face her, knowing she deserved an explanation for what she just saw but wondering what to tell her. I made no move to start the car, steeling myself instead for
her questions.
“Raves?” Chrissy’s voice startled me, and I jumped at her soft voice, my nerves on edge. “Are you okay?” I was rather sure my reaction to her hot English teacher was startling to say the least.
I forced myself to look away from the cracked leather cover on my steering wheel and meet her eyes. “Yeah. I’m fine.”
“What happened? Do you know Bre-Mr. Kingsley from somewhere?” She shook her head as if trying to switch gears from knowing him as a counselor at The Hangout Zone to now, her teacher.
I nodded. “I met him a few months ago, right before Mom died.” The words made me cringe, but Chrissy didn’t even flinch. To be honest, I didn’t cringe because of our mother but because of the guilt that sloshed in my unsettled stomach. The night I should’ve been taking care of my baby sister, but was instead having sex with Breck.
“Why did you both act so weird to see each other? Didn’t you know he was a teacher?”
I blew out a slow breath, wondering exactly how much to tell her. “I did, I just didn’t know he taught here.”
“You don’t want to tell me what’s going on, right?” Chrissy wasn’t stupid. She knew I didn’t want to talk about it.
“We dated briefly.” I hated lying to her, but what was I supposed to say? That I was an escort, and he hired me and then I had sex with him? Yeah, that would be a great thing to tell my teenage sister about her teacher. And her sister. It wouldn’t be long before she realized Emma and I did something unorthodox for work; there was no way we afforded the apartment we now lived in by working retail.
“And things didn’t go well? The way he stared at you, it seemed like he seriously had feelings for you.”
I wanted to ask her how the heck she knew what it looked like if a man “had feelings for you,” but I was still hung up on the fact that Chrissy saw anything at all between us. I mean, I knew we were both shocked, and once she walked away he’d kissed the hell out of me in his classroom, but for her to read more than that into it had me scared. He’s a forever kind of guy. The words Porter said to me haunted me, and as much as I knew that was a warning for me to run as far as I could, I couldn’t seem to stop myself from saying yes when he cornered me tonight. There was just something about him. Then again, I seemed to have a hard time saying no to either of the Kingsley men. But you did say no to Porter. And I had. Just not to his face because I knew what kind of power he had when he wanted something bad enough.
“Things just kind of…ended.” Because I woke up in his bed to you calling me, and I couldn’t make myself contact him.
She grinned. “But he wants to see you, doesn’t he?” Chrissy jumped up and down in her seat like she had done when she was excited from the time she was a small baby. Her energy was almost infectious, and I found myself wanting to be as excited as she was about the prospect of spending time with Breck again. “When I met him at The Hangout Zone, I thought he was super handsome. I wanted to try to find a way to set you up with him, because he’s a really nice guy, but I kinda figured you wouldn’t go for me meddling in your love life. But if he’s into you, Raven, you should go out with him! I promise I won’t even be weirded out that he’s my teacher.” She scrunched her face up like she contemplated that. “As long as I don’t have to like, hang out with him at our house or anything.”
I thought of Breck waking up next to me in my bed, my sister just next door, and I knew that could never happen. Despite the fact I knew I would go see him tonight, I had to put boundaries on whatever we would do from here. Strict boundaries. “I don’t think so, Chrissy.”
Chrissy frowned. “Why not? What did he want to talk to you about after I left? The way he looked at you, I swore he could ignite the entire school!”
I laughed, even though my teenage sister shouldn’t have been able to read that in her teacher’s eyes. “You’re going a little overboard, Chrissy. Have you been reading too many romance novels?”
She pursed her lips. “Deflect all you want, big sis. Breck—Mr. Kingsley—seems like a nice guy. You should give him a chance. And—ew—I don’t read romance novels. One of my friends from school used to read those and tried to get me into them. That was just gross.”
I hoped she always thought of it as “just gross,” but I knew she was a beautiful girl, and now that her life would be stable, she would start feeling things I wasn’t ready to deal with. Someday, I would have to tell her the truth. Just not today. “Well, I’m going to meet him after ice cream so we can talk.”
Chrissy’s eyes widened. “Is ‘talk’ code word for something else?”
I smacked her playfully and was glad she couldn’t see the way my face flushed at the thought of the way we talked last time we were together. “No, you brat. It means to talk.”
She wiggled her eyebrows up and down. “Well, if you don’t come home, Emma can take care of me.”
“Stop it!” I shook my head at her. “You really know way too much for your age.”
She shrugged. “Hazards of our childhood, Raves. You know this. At least I just know it and don’t do it.”
I started the engine and headed toward the ice cream place. “Don’t I know it,” I muttered, thinking again of two Kingsley brothers who wanted similar things from me, but in totally different ways.
15
Brecken
“Her name is Raven,” I said as soon as Porter answered the phone. I paced in front of my window, waiting for her car to appear on my street.
I had Raven’s phone number. I knew who she really was. I knew she had a sister and had custody of her. I also knew her sister was my student. I was in a moral dilemma about that, but I didn’t let it bother me too much. If I had to move Chrissy out to another class, I would. Nothing would stop me from getting to know Raven.
I also knew I was an idiot for waiting so long to try to find her. I had no one to blame but myself and my idiotic self-deprecating feelings about not being good enough for her and the possibility of her wanting my brother, instead. Porter hadn’t uttered a word about her since the night I told him to back off.
I put my fingers to my lips, the searing hot passion like a current between us. Oh no, there was something there, all right. Raven knew it, and now I knew it for sure.
She felt the same way I did, and dammit, tonight I would make something happen between us. No more waiting around. No more hoping.
Time for Brecken Kingsley to finally get what he wants.
“Did you see her?”
There was no need for small talk between us. Ever since I searched through his phone and didn’t find her because she’d told him her real name, I was mad. Mad at Porter for being the one all these women flocked to. That she told him first. That despite my admission of wanting to find out what was between us, he didn’t tell me her real name. He withheld things from me, his own flesh and blood. I hoped it was because he protected her and not trying to keep me in the dark.
She allowed him into a part of her life that I wasn’t privy to, and I didn’t like it. At all.
He, of course, had no idea I was mad at him about that, because I didn’t tell him. That was something I knew I needed to address, but not today. Not now. It was hard enough for me to tell him to back off from her.
I had to focus on the fact that Raven was on her way to my house. I gave myself a pep talk the entire drive home to not do what I wanted to do when she walked in the door and take her straight to my room. We needed to talk, I knew this. Obviously, a lot happened to her since the last time we saw each other, and she didn’t need someone who only wanted in her pants. That was my brother, and I couldn’t be the same guy.
If I was honest with myself, I wanted a hell of a lot more than that. We were far from that kind of commitment, and I knew it. I was getting way, way ahead of myself. But the thought was there. From the second I caught sight of her standing in my classroom, her eyes wide like she had just seen a ghost, it was there. The same pull I felt the night I saw her standing across the ballroom, and the identical one I t
hat was there the day of the beach party. Then when she showed me she trusted me by giving me her name, I swore my head still floated in the clouds somewhere.
“Of course, I saw her. How else would I know?” I knew my answer was short, but I had no time for this. “You knew her name.”
Porter sighed. “I did, but she didn’t want me to tell anyone. Not even you. Where did you see her?”
I glanced down the tree-lined street again, wishing her car would appear. Street lights illuminated people walking dogs, and the occasional wild animal ran for cover, but no Raven. “She showed up in my classroom.”
Porter whistled. “What? How did that happen? Did she find out what school you worked at and come see you?”
I wish. Then I wouldn’t doubt so much that she wanted anything to do with me at all. I thought of Chrissy, who looked so much like her sister, and I felt guilty for wishing Raven had sought me out. She obviously had a rough few months or longer, and here I was, thinking about myself. I wanted to know her story and how she got to where she is. Then again, I wanted to know everything that affected Raven. I wasn’t sure if Raven wanted me to tell Porter about her sister, but now that I opened the can of worms, I couldn’t put them back in.
“She has custody of her teen sister. She’s starting at my high school this year.” Porter was silent, and I cursed. “You knew that, didn’t you? What else do you know?”
“I knew, yes. When I helped her when her car broke down, I found out her name, and I did some research on her. I knew what happened and how she got custody of her sister.”
“And I guess you didn’t think it was important to share any of this with me when I told you how I felt about her.”
“She didn’t want me to tell anyone, Breck. I didn’t want to betray her trust.” No, you just want to betray your brother’s. I knew I shouldn’t be surprised he didn’t tell me. He had some sort of thing for her, too. Probably not in the same way I did, since Porter didn’t do things like that, but he did.
Ravenous: The Kingsley Brothers Duet Page 17