Love Him Wild

by E M Lindsey

  He didn’t even really mind when Parker had gone six shades of caveman in front of Birdie—though he knew he was going to be the one who had to explain to Fitz what the fuck that was about. He just needed an answer first. He wanted to know what it was, and if it was going to be more than this awkward night at the Market, but he wasn’t sure where to start.

  By the time they got to the Rugelach, Ronan’s legs were exhausted and shaky. He took a seat at one of the empty tables while Parker steered Jonas over to the menu, and he rested his head on his crooked arm until he felt a tentative hand press to his shoulder.

  “Parker said you’d probably want some water.” Jonas’ voice was soft, a soothing balm to a blossoming headache, and he let out a soft breath as some of the pain ebbed away.

  Ronan stuck his hand out, and Jonas pressed the humid bottle to his palm before he finally looked up. The younger man seemed entirely out of sorts, and Ronan felt for him. Parker was overwhelming on his best days, and right now, Ronan didn’t have words to soothe the anxiety between them because he didn’t know what Parker wanted out of all this.

  He pat the bench next to him, though, and sighed after he swallowed a mouthful of the cool liquid. “Sit. Parker’s going to antagonize Levi for a while. Did you tell him what you wanted?”

  Jonas shrugged as he sat, keeping a foot of distance between them. “I told him to get me whatever. I’m not very picky.”

  “Dangerous,” Ronan said with a chuckle. He finished off half the bottle, then offered it over to Jonas who shook his head. “But everything Levi has tastes amazing, so you won’t have to worry unless you’re allergic to something.”

  “I haven’t been worried at all,” Jonas admitted after a beat. “I’ve had to do the small-town thing before over the years, but they rarely have food as good as the stuff here.”

  Ronan couldn’t stop himself from bristling. Jonas was driving him slowly out of his mind. He was attractive, kind, and sweet in one moment, then viciously reminding him of who he was and what he was doing there in the next.

  “Let me guess, you fly in a bunch of celebrity chefs to make fine-dining the town’s new thing so it’ll bring in more tourists?” He knew his words were sharp and unkind, and at the way Jonas flinched, he felt the guilt hit him.

  “There’s something,” Jonas started, then glanced over Ronan’s shoulder at Parker before shaking his head. “I’ll wait.”

  “For what?” Ronan demanded, his irritation rising further. It was mostly his exhaustion, his flare, and a little bit the low simmering want since Parker had fucked him with the fantasy of Jonas caressing every inch of his skin. It was hard to ignore it, too, with the real thing sitting right there, close enough to reach out and touch.

  “I’d rather just say it all at once,” Jonas told him. “It’s nothing bad. I just feel like I need to explain a few things because I don’t think Rene told you everything.”

  Ronan frowned but nodded, then bowed his head toward the table and braced himself for the worst. He didn’t know what bomb Jonas could drop on them that was worse than the land deal, but he hadn’t ever had the best luck. The fire, Fitz nearly dying, Parker leaving him, his illness—they were all proof that there were so many other shoes to drop.

  Luckily, Parker seemed more interested in being with them than bothering Levi, and he came back to the table with two paper bags clutched in his fist. Slamming them down, he took the seat opposite Ronan and stared between the two of them.

  “Who died?” Parker froze midway through opening the first bag. “Did someone die?”

  Jonas laughed. “No. I uh…it’s…I wanted to tell you both something.”

  Parker’s jaw went tight, but he nodded and pushed one of the bags toward Jonas. “Eat this. It’s savory pastry, some Hebrew name I can never pronounce right, but it’s the best thing you’ll have in this town.”

  With long, hesitant fingers, Jonas drew one of the pastries out of the bag and set it down on top of it. He picked at the corner, putting a crumb into his mouth, then sighed. “When I asked you to help me figure out what this place needed, I wasn’t just trying to make you feel better before the company came in and fucked this town over. And I wasn’t trying to get you to do my job for me.”

  Ronan gave Parker a sharp look, now painfully aware of what Jonas and Parker had talked about at the restaurant. “No one really thought that.”

  “Oh, I’m sure you did,” Jonas said with a faint smile. “It’s not the worst thing someone’s thought about me, but it’s neither of those things. I really do want to be able to help this town, so when I asked, I meant it. I just can’t promise what happens with the land will do you all any good when all’s said and done.”

  Parker licked his lips. “I don’t understand.”

  “It’s not my company,” Jonas blurted, and Ronan’s gaze snapped on him. “I work for my father.” He spat the word father with so much pain behind it, Ronan instantly wanted to reach for him.

  “Why did he send you?” Ronan asked quietly. “What does he want you to do?”

  “Canvas, mostly. He wants me to play nice with everyone so they won’t hate him when he shows up to uproot forests and pave everything over. He wants me to talk to you all and pacify you so I can look deeper and find out what he can capitalize on the land, and I hate it. I hate having to come into these towns and watch him fuck everything over.”

  Ronan felt his gut twist. “So why do it?”

  Jonas looked away. “I wish I had an answer.” His laugh was bitter as he rubbed at his eyes, and right then, he looked so lost, and so young. “I was all set to go to college like a thousand miles away from him. I’m not even his…he doesn’t even like me, but my brothers would run this company into the ground and probably rack up at least a dozen FCC violations, so he guilted me into working for him. He wants me to take over when he retires.” Jonas dragged a hand down his face and let out an anguished laugh. “I hate it. I hate working for him. I hate coming into these places and knowing he’s going to ruin everything.”

  Ronan glanced at Parker who looked stricken and confused. Parker cleared his throat. “How can we help?”

  “Me?” Jonas asked. He looked wildly between them, his lush mouth parted. “Why would you want to?”

  “I don’t know if I want to help,” Ronan answered. “I don’t entirely understand what’s going on.” At Jonas’ admission, he felt some measure of relief, and another of low, simmering rage because he wasn’t expecting this kind of complication. He wanted to love Jonas or hate him. He didn’t want this grey in between. It was obvious he was in pain, it was obvious this job was making him miserable, but Ronan struggled to find sympathy in that moment knowing that Jonas was a grown man choosing to do this work.

  Jonas licked his lips, then deflated and shook his head. “I wish I could explain why he’s got this power over me. I’ve tried to walk away over the years, but it’s not that simple.” He closed his eyes and tilted his head down toward the table. “I do what I can to try and minimize the impact he has on these towns, but I’m not always successful. I want to try, but…”

  Ronan let out a bone-deep sigh and rested his arm on the table. His body was aching with fatigue, screaming to go home and take a pill and sleep until this all passed, but he didn’t want Jonas suffering like that either. “What’s the worst that can happen if you don’t stop him from building?”

  “If he builds real estate—and he always does—he’ll inflate the market,” Jonas said. “He tries to sell it like it’s a good thing—he tells people that the market value will go up so people will make more money when they sell. But taxes go up too, and then the younger generation can’t afford homes in their own city anymore. Investors come in and buy up homes for vacation rentals, and suddenly it’s not Cherry Creek anymore. At least, it’s not the Cherry Creek any of you knew.”

  “And you had a plan to stop him?” Parker asked.

  Jonas shrugged weakly. “My plan was to try and convince him to go with commercial busi
nesses, but it’s lake-side property. He won’t be able to pass up waterfront condos. The last community he took over was off a river. The homes there were already expensive, but now, just a dock permit alone costs like ninety-grand. No one who had been living there before can afford it because their job market can’t match the new cost of living.”

  Ronan winced, and he looked at Parker, whose eyes were dark and hooded. “Okay. So, why tell us? If you can’t help us, why bother giving us a heads up?”

  “Because you’ve been so nice to me,” Jonas said. “I hate lying. I fucking hate lying, and that’s all I’ve ever done since I went to work for him.”

  Parker made a soft noise, then rose and came around the bench to sit on the other side of Jonas. It forced the younger man to crowd in closer to Ronan, to press their thighs together—and god help him, he didn’t hate it. “We’re not going to blame you for something you can’t help.” Parker’s voice was more soothing than it normally was, and though Ronan wanted to argue, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. If Jonas had been any stranger on the street, Ronan would have thrown him to the wolves, but one look at his soft eyes, and Ronan was gone.

  “I’m part of the problem though,” Jonas said, almost like he was begging them to understand. “You realize that, right? I’m the bad guy here.”

  At that, Parker lifted his hand and pressed it to the side of Jonas’ neck, catching Ronan’s gaze over his shoulder before he looked Jonas in the face. “How are you the bad guy?”

  “I could have quit. I could have told him no. I was a grown adult, and technically he had no power over me, but…”

  “It sounds more complicated than that,” Ronan said softly, and he meant it. He knew what it was like to have parental expectations thrown at him. His parents had never fully accepted him, but he had never suffered the way Jonas clearly was.

  Jonas let out a shuddering breath. “I guess, but also no. I could have walked away.”

  “Would it have mattered?” Parker said. “Would it have been better?”

  “I wouldn’t have been complicit,” Jonas said bitterly.

  “But you have helped in the past, right?” Parker urged. “So, what if you weren’t there? What if your father had turned everything over to someone just like him? If you walk away now, what happens to Cherry Creek?”

  Jonas swallowed thickly, the sound of it catching in his throat before he cleared it away. “I get what you’re saying. I’m weak when it comes to saying no, but I’m not stupid.”

  Parker’s fingers tightened, and he looked helplessly at Ronan again, but Ronan had no answers. It was simpler hours before, when he thought Jonas had the power of the company. It was easier to hate him—to mistrust him. It was easier because they had a shot of convincing him to re-sell the land and leave them be. But they’d lost that thread of power, and he wasn’t sure where to go from there.

  “Can I ask,” Parker said, then took a breath, “what would happen if you left the company?”

  “I don’t know,” Jonas admitted with a raw chuckle. “He’s old fashioned, wants the company to stay with the name. I think one of my brothers could probably be groomed to take over if my dad spent every waking hour getting him detoxed. But if that failed, probably his CFO.”

  Parker bit his lip. “How did you come from a family like that and turn out this way?”

  Jonas laughed, a bit softer now, and sweeter. Ronan’s heart thudded against his ribs at the sound. “You don’t know me very well.”

  “True, but I’m a pretty good judge of character,” Parker said. “I’m sure you have skeletons…”

  Jonas shrugged. “Probably no worse than anyone here. The truth’s complicated, and I um…I don’t like talking about it.”

  “That’s fine,” Ronan said quickly. “We don’t want to pressure you. We just want you to know that we get it.” He was a little surprised at himself for how much honesty was in his tone, but it was the truth. “We’ll help—if you can think of a way.”

  Jonas nodded, then stared down at the table, at where Ronan’s hand was resting close to his. He seemed to notice right then that Parker was still touching him, because he jolted and then very slowly pulled away. “I should uh…head home. I guess this night was kind of a bust.”

  As he pushed to his feet, Parker followed him and stepped in his path. “The Fourth is coming up.”

  “Yeah,” Jonas from behind a quiet breath.

  “The Lodge usually does a firework show. Fitz and the department handle it, but they do like a pool party and stuff. Want to meet up for it?” Parker caught Ronan’s eye, and without giving it any real thought, he nodded.

  Jonas bit his lip as he turned to look at Ronan, then back at Parker before shrugging. “That could be…yeah. That could be fine. I mean, I’m staying there anyway.”

  “We’ll meet you.” Parker reached out and squeezed Jonas’ arm before stepping back and grabbing the paper bag he hadn’t unpacked. “Take this with you and eat it. If it gets wasted, Levi will never forgive you, and believe me when I say that man holds a grudge.”

  Jonas let out another soft laugh and took the bag, tucking it under his arm. “I…thanks. For being so cool about this.”

  “We’re not total monsters,” Parker told him.

  Ronan grabbed one of his crutches and hauled himself to his feet. Getting to the car would be a chore, he knew, but balancing himself long enough to put an arm around Jonas for a hug was worth it. Ronan was fully aware of Parker’s surprise. Ronan barely initiated contact with Fitz, and he loved that man almost as much as he loved his husband. Hell, he was fairly sure he’d never even hugged Antoine outside of when he bundled him up from the lake incident, and he’d been around for over a year.

  But this felt right—it felt good. Jonas melted against him for long, quiet moments before he finally pulled away. “You have my number,” Ronan reminded him. “If you need anything at all…”

  “I still have to do my job,” Jonas said, shaking his head slightly. “I wish I didn’t, but…”

  “Let us help,” Ronan said. “We might be able to put something together. I don’t know what, but…” He trailed off with a laugh and rubbed the back of his neck before leaning back hard on his crutches. His legs trembled and threatened to give out, and his knuckles went white with the effort it took to keep him standing.

  “Okay.” Jonas looked lighter, and even managed a slight laugh when Parker pulled him in for a rougher hug than Ronan had given. When they broke apart, he had the bag in one hand, and he took a few steps away like he was dazed.

  Ronan understood it more than he wanted to admit. The moment he married Parker, he thought that was it. He didn’t think another man could come into the picture and shake their foundation—and then Jonas Woods appeared.

  It was terrifying, but a little thrilling.

  He just wasn’t sure he had the courage to do anything about it.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Parker found his husband in their workout room, balancing on his forearms and balls of his feet in a long, lithe plank. He could see the faint tremble of his strain, and beads of sweat had already begun to pop up across his forehead, but his eyes were closed, and he looked serene.

  “Can I help?” Parker asked, padding barefoot across the warmed, wooden floor.

  Ronan said nothing until he had finished his count, then slowly lowered to his stomach. “Help me turn over and stretch my hips?”

  Parker took Ronan by the thigh and helped ease him onto his back, then settled between the V of his legs and hooked one of Ronan’s knees up over his shoulder, holding the other one by the crook with his hand.

  “How bad is it tonight?”

  “Not terrible,” Ronan confessed. He was still stiff and struggling to move himself as Parker leaned forward, spreading his husband’s legs first wide, then toward his chest. He knew Ronan’s breaking point and stopped shy of it. “You can go further.”

  “Maybe tomorrow,” Parker told him softly. “You walked a lot tonight.�
��

  Ronan grumbled, but he didn’t argue, just took a few breaths and rotated his feet at the ankle until the trembling in his calves eased. “Are you thinking about him?”

  Parker eased Ronan’s legs straight, then pressed his hand to the outside of his hip and hovered over Ronan’s chest. “Are you?”

  “Don’t deflect my question,” Ronan ordered, never one to hesitate with calling Parker on his bullshit.

  In truth, Parker was thinking about him. He’d been thinking about Jonas since the man walked away. His heart ached for him, and his head hurt, because it felt like there was an inevitable crash all of them were powerless to stop, no matter how far back they saw it coming.

  “Do you think he was abused?” Parker finally asked.

  Ronan let out a heavy breath and draped one hand over his eyes. “Yes? Maybe? God, I don’t have enough experience to know.”

  Parker nodded. He didn’t have personal experience, but he’d been trained to recognize signs in his patients, and Jonas has some. Maybe not all, but the man clearly struggled to break free of someone who had too much power over him.

  “We can’t just ask him to give up his life, though,” Ronan said after a too long moment of silence.

  “I know.” Parker settled his knees on either side of Ronan, then straddled him. They were both soft beneath their sleep pants, but it felt good all the same to thrust a little, rub himself against his husband. Ronan groaned and took him by the hips, his eyes wide and pupils dilated.

  “I’m confused.”

  Parker looked down at the flush on Ronan’s cheeks, and he leaned in to kiss him. “Are you afraid?”

  “I don’t…” Ronan started, then shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut. “I should be. I feel like I should be terrified. I’m not supposed to feel this way.”

  “Says who?” Parker asked him.