Yellow Eyes

by Sonya Lee

  Chapter 2

  "Okay girls, here I come," said mother stalking around the house.

  Karen and I had chosen different hiding places this time. Whenever we tried to hide together we would ultimately get to talking and mother would find us. I peeked out from behind the curtains trying to see where mother was located. It looked like it was safe to run out and touch the door where she had counted off from. I had just run across to touch the door when it swung open and our father walked in.

  "Daddy!" I screamed before hurling myself at him.

  He caught me and held me away from him, examining my lack of attire. "Pupkin, where are your clothes? Does your mother know you’re walking around the house with no clothes on?" he asked.

  "Yes, daddy. We're playing hide and seek. We always play hide and see like this. Mommie says we shouldn't be ashamed of our body," I said in an adult like manner, even though I was only four years old.

  "Pupkin, you need to go upstairs and put some clothes on right now. A lady never allows a man to see her without her clothes on unless he is her husband. Do you understand me?" he asked me before setting me down to go do what he said.

  "Yes, a lady wears clothes all the time, unless she's with her husband," I said.

  "Yeah, something like that, we'll talk about it again later, now go upstairs and remember you are a lady."

  "Yes, I'm a lady," I said before running upstairs to get dressed. A couple of minutes later Karen entered our room.

  "Daddy told you to put some clothes on too?" I asked.

  "Yes, I knew daddy didn't like for use to play hide and seek like that but mommie wouldn't listen to me," said Karen gathering panties and a t-shirt from her drawer.

  We heard our parents’ door slam and raised voices. I looked at Karen sadly. Our parents seemed to do a lot of arguing nowadays. It always scared me.

  "You stay here, I'll be right back. Don't worry, everything is going to be okay," said Karen before she slipped out of our room. She returned a couple of minutes later.

  "Daddy is fussing at mommie about the hide and seek game. He doesn't like for us to be running around the house without clothes on. He thinks mother is trying to turn us into whores," said Karen.

  "What's a whore?" I asked.

  "I don't know. But whatever it is, daddy doesn't like it one bit. So we're not going to play hide and seek with mommie anymore unless we're allowed to keep our clothes on like we do at school, okay?" asked Karen.

  "Okay," I replied.

  buzz! buzz! buzz!

  The alarm clocked jolted me out of the dream. I reached over to turn it off not paying any attention to the time. I left my room trying to shake off the memory of the dream I had. Four year old me and eight year old Karen playing naked hide and go seek with our mother. I thought that I was over my past but seeing Vanessa Bell last night seemed to trigger that memory. It was probably because seeing her reminded me that I once had a sister.

  As I entered the hallway I could see that Chris had already cooked breakfast and gone for her morning run. I went into the kitchen to see what concoction she had dreamed up this morning. Chris was a Culinary Arts major and loved to experiment with different recipes. She always cooked breakfast, lunch and dinner on Saturdays and Sundays when we weren't working.

  I could smell the blueberries as I walked towards the kitchen. Upon entering the kitchen I found that she had cooked blueberry muffins and pancakes. I scavenged around in the refrigerator for bacon. There was bacon in the frig but she hadn't cooked any. She liked her bacon fresh.

  Chris always said, "Some foods you could microwave and they would be fine but others should never see the inside of a microwave." Bacon fit that category for her.

  I heated up my breakfast and sat down to eat. The apartment was too quiet by far which allowed my mind to flash back to the previous night. Vanessa Bell looked identical to me, all the way down to the dimples in my cheeks. Maybe I was switched at birth, I thought to myself. To me there was no other alternative to what I had seen last night. I just couldn't imagine my dad getting someone else pregnant, in the end he hadn't seemed to want me.

  I considered calling Vanessa. I still had her card in the back pocket of the pants I was wearing. I changed my mind about calling her as soon as I thought of it. I couldn't imagine what we'd talk about if I did get up the nerve to call her. It's not like I plan on going into law and I'm looking for a mentor. Becoming a lawyer was the last thing on my mind. It was the career my mother tried to force on me when I was in high school. I'd burn in hell before I'd give her that satisfaction. My mother had this annoying habit of coming up with things she wanted me to try and become interested in. She just couldn’t allow me to be me. It was like she had a road map of where she wanted me to go. I was just a daughter who was too stubborn to follow her chosen path.

  My cell phone rang, disrupting my memories of my mother and her demands. I picked up the phone and looked at the screen. The call was blocked. I almost didn’t answer it but decided I needed to in case it was an emergency. I reluctantly clicked the call button.

  “Hello.”

  “Pam, you just don’t accept calls from your mother any longer, do you?”

  I took a calming breath before I responded to that quip. I should have never answered the call I thought. “Not when they are meant to annoy me. What do you want mother?”

  “Pam, I’m not trying to annoy you. You’re the only daughter I have left. I love you. I just wanted to make sure you received the announcement concerning our anniversary.”

  “No I haven’t. We haven’t checked the mail yet. It’s not like I’m invited,” I said coolly.

  “Darling, of course you’re not invited. I wouldn’t want your father to get angry with me. I just like you to know what is going on with your father and me.”

  “Well, consider me informed, bye mother,” I said before clicking the off button. I shook for several moments at the memory of the call. I don’t know why she insists on calling me to share her joy. I guess I’ll have to stop taking blocked calls as well. I’m so tired of her games, one minute she’s all caring and supportive, the next she wants nothing to do with me, and it’s all at the whim of her precious husband. I don’t know why she won’t leave me alone.

  I put my dishes in the sink and went to get dressed. As I stood before the mirror in my bathroom, combing my hair, my face reminded me once again of my encounter with Vanessa Bell. To call or not to call was the question floating around in my head. If I called her I might learn that we are some kin. Maybe there will be some normal people in my family. I don't know very much about my father's or mother's side of the family. Neither of my parents had kept in contact with their families. My sister and I had grown up on an island of loneliness. I don't even know if we have any relatives living or dead. She could be a cousin. Maybe she could introduce me to the other side of the family that I've never met. No way. There's a reason why my dad hasn't spoken to his family since I don't know when. I didn't know what I wanted to do. I finally decided to sit on the card until I could make up my mind. Several other thoughts ran through my head and I quickly squashed every last one of them.

  Chris made it back to the apartment as I completed my musings. We needed to sit down and pay our bills for the month. It wasn't easy being a student with means but really no means at all. I didn't qualify for financial aid but I didn't have to pay for school either, having gotten a full scholarship to Atlanta's School of the Arts. I just had to worry about my apartment and food. I had long ago given up any hope of assistance from my parents. It was understood during my high school years that once I graduated I was on my own, which is why I had been working since the age of sixteen, shortly before my graduation from high school. I had no plans of staying in their house a moment longer than necessary. It turned out that the choice was taken out of my hands. My father put me out of their house the day after graduation.

  My
parents’ lack of support and caring for their only living child sealed my resolve to become a world renowned writer. I knew that my life story alone would catapult me to the best sellers list or make a psychiatrist very rich. Not that I had any plans on writing it but if I ever got desperate who knows. Chris snapped me out of my self-imposed dialog with a snap of her fingers.

  "We're set. The light bill isn't as high as we thought it might be which gives us a little cushion for later in the summer. If work is steady like it has been, we should be able to save enough to last us through winter. Which means we won't have to work so many hours during the week," said Chris.

  "That works for me," I replied with a sigh.

  Chris hesitated for a moment before she pulled out an envelope and handed it to me. “I was going to throw this away but I think you need to see it just in case it’s important.”

  I reluctantly took the envelope knowing who it was from. “It’s another card from my mother, she called earlier. It’s an announcement concerning their anniversary,” I said before opening the envelope. I flashed the printed picture at Chris, then I read the card out loud. “It’s a celebration of a love to last a lifetime, Charles and Linda Columbus will be celebrating a renewal of their nuptials on Saturday, August 3, 2013. It’s funny, but all of these pictures look almost identical. Do they ever change their pose?” I tried to laugh off the hurt I was currently feeling.

  “I should have just opened it myself and not let you see it, your mother’s such a “B”,” said Chris evenly.

  “Don’t worry about it. I think I’ve gotten immune to the little tricks and snide things my mother does. She loves rubbing the fact that my father is all hers in my face. She just doesn’t realize that I wouldn’t want him in my life, whether he was with her or not,” I said wistfully.

  Chris looked at me closely. "Stop reminiscing on your wonderful childhood."

  "Oh come on Chris, who wouldn't reminisce on a childhood like mine," I replied sarcastically.

  "Hey, the life you make for yourself will be the one that counts," she said.

  "I know, I know. I just wish sometimes," I said before she cut me off.

  "Wishing doesn't make anything happen, doing does. And speaking of doing, have you called your twin yet?"

  "She's not my twin, she's older than me, at least I think she's older than me. She's a lawyer, so she's got to be older than me and no I haven't called her nor will I be calling her at 12:00 in the afternoon!" I nearly shouted as I looked at the time. "Chris how could you let me sleep so late? I was supposed to meet Gregory at 11:30, you know he hates to be kept waiting," I said in exasperation.

  "He called and canceled, he left a message on the answering machine."

  "Did he say why he was canceling?"

  "He claims his boss invited him to go to the Braves game, it's a double header, if I recall correctly. You know this is the fourth Saturday he has cancelled on you Pam, when are you going to wake up?" asked Chris looking at me pointedly.

  "What do you mean, when am I going to wake up? I'm not sleep."

  "Where Gregory is concerned, you're sleepwalking. You both have busy schedules and when you both find time to spend together he inevitably cancels on you at the last minute. He's stringing you along. There's got to be someone else," said Chris.

  "Okay, first of all, there is no one else. We're both working internships and second jobs to make ends meet. His boss probably insisted he go to the game. He has to play nice in order to make a good impression. So stop jumping to the wrong conclusion," I replied.

  "Okay, but you're not getting any younger. You're going to be twenty-three before you realize what a big jerk he is and then your beauty and youth will have faded," said Chris with a smirk on her face.

  "I'll still be young at twenty-three which is three years away, I might add and beauty is in the eye of the beholder," I replied.

  "You always do this Pam. Why do you defend guys that aren't worth defending? You already caught him cheating on you once and you took him back. Now he's canceling dates left and right. He uses you for his own convenience. When are you going to learn not to be someone's doormat?" said Chris.

  "I am not being a doormat. Gregory is a great guy with a great future. I want to be with someone I know is going to make it in this world. You on the other hand will be alone, always so suspicious of everyone. You need to learn to be more trustful."

  "No, you need to be less trustful," said Chris. "You need to start seeing the world...

  The doorbell rang interrupting Chris' speech. She looked at me.

  "Who is that?" I said with a small amount of relief. The doorbell ringing had just saved me from one of Chris' interminable rants about my boyfriend.

  "I don't know, perhaps it's your boyfriend. Maybe his boss let him off the hook and he wants to surprise you," she said sarcastically.

  "I hope it is, just so I can shut you up," I said hopefully as I walked over to the door. I looked through the peephole and saw the last person on earth I thought would come knocking at my door.

  She was dressed casual chic today. She wore cream colored pants and a burnt orange silk blouse. She had on matching shoes and bracelets. Her hair was pinned up in a bun and orange tear shaped earrings dangled from her ears. I stepped away from the door and slowly backed down the hall.

  "Who is it?” asked Chris coming up behind me.

  "It's her," I whispered not wanting to be heard. There was no way I was opening that door. Something deep down inside told me that opening that door would open up a world I wasn't prepared for in the least.

  "Her who?" asked Chris mimicking my speech.

  "My twin from last night," I whispered again.

  "Well, let her in," said Chris loudly.

  Instead of unlocking the door, I continued to retreat in the opposite direction. A sense of foreboding set solidly between my shoulder blades. Opening that door would lead me down a road, one which I wasn't sure I wanted to go.

  Chris took the choice out of my hands. She walked around me and opened the door. Vanessa had turned to leave but stopped when the door opened.

  "Hi," said Chris. "Come on in. Sorry it took so long to open the door."

  Vanessa nodded her head in understanding and hesitantly walked into our apartment. She stopped midway down the hall and just stared at me for several seconds. She finally dropped her gaze to the floor before speaking, I guess she was a little unsure of her welcome.

  "Good afternoon. I'm sorry to intrude on you today but my curiosity got the better of me," she said.

  "How did you find out where we live?" I asked.

  "My boss is a good friend of your boss, Mr. Thomas. He was able to get your address and phone number for me," she replied softly.

  "Why are you here?" I asked.

  Chris interrupted the ensuing conversation with a cough. Vanessa and I looked at her, having forgotten she was in the hallway with us. "Perhaps you'll should go into the living room and have a seat. I'll fix some drinks and bring them in to you. What would you like to drink Vanessa?"

  "Water will be fine thanks," she said. She looked at me as Chris exited the hallway.

  "The living room is this way," I said turning and walking towards our living room. We quietly walked into our sparsely furnished living room by Ikea and Target. I looked on as Vanessa glanced around the room. Her face didn't give any indication of her thoughts. She sat down in the reclining chair. I sat across from her on the loveseat. Neither one of us said a thing. I guess we were both too scared to state the obvious.

  Chris finally walked back into the room with a couple of bottles of water. She noticed the awkward silence in the room. I was grateful at that moment, for the kind of friend Chris was because she was kind enough to break the silence for us.

  "We weren't actually introduced last night when you handed me the card but I'm Chris. I'm her best friend and roommate. This is Pamela, but she prefers to be called
Pam. She isn't normally this tongue tied but we're both shocked at your presence here and we're wondering why you looked her up?"

  Vanessa glanced at her hands before she spoke. "I was a little shocked to see you last night. I have never seen anyone look so much like me before. I left the party because I wanted to talk to my mother. I wasn't able to speak to her last night but I realized I had overreacted at seeing you. I don't have a large family you see, I'm an only child. My mother doesn't have any siblings. When I saw you I thought, I don't know what I thought."

  "I know what you mean. I don't look like my mother or father, so when I saw you, I couldn't believe it either. I wondered had I been switched at birth or maybe adopted. But I know that's not possible. My dad has told me on several occasions that I look just like my grandmother," I said.

  "My uncle used to tell me the same thing when I was younger. Well, he's actually not my uncle, he's my Godfather but I couldn't say Godfather when I was little so he told me to call him uncle. He told me I looked like my grandmother," said Vanessa.

  "Do you think we could be some kin to one another?" I asked.

  "It's the only logical explanation for us resembling each other to the point of almost looking like twins," said Vanessa. "How old are you?"

  "I'm twenty, what about you?" I asked.

  "I'm twenty-one," replied Vanessa.

  "You're twenty-one and already a lawyer," said Chris in astonishment.

  "I'm not a full lawyer, I am awaiting the results from the bar, but yes, I have graduated law school. It seems that I was blessed with a high IQ," replied Vanessa.

  Chris looked at me and said, "Pam was the valedictorian of our graduating class, she scored a 32 on the ACT and got a full scholarship to Atlanta's School of the Arts at the age of 16."

  "Well, that makes two things we have in common, intelligence and looks," said Vanessa.

  "Who are you parents?" I asked her.

  "My mother's name is Veronica Bell. I never knew my father. He died before I was born. His name was John. What about you, who are your parents?"

  "My parents are Linda and Charles Columbus. I have a sister, well I had an older sister."

  Vanessa's demeanor had gone from calm and cool to semi-shock upon hearing the name Charles Columbus. She quickly schooled her features knowing not to give away anything to the opposition. The law had taught her to question and check facts, now was no different than in a court of law. She quickly composed herself.

  I hadn't noticed the change in Vanessa when I mentioned my parents’ name. My mind had slipped to memories of my sister Karen.

  "Do you have any pictures of your family?" she asked casually.

  "I mainly have pictures of my sister and myself, my Mother and dad didn't like taking pictures, so I only have a very old picture of my father from when we were younger, but no pictures of my Mother. Would you excuse me for a moment while I grab my photo album?"

  As I exited the room, Chris watched Vanessa pull out her wallet and look at an old photograph of a man and a woman who Chris assumed were her parents. Chris craned her neck to get a better look at the photo but she could only see a glimpse of the man. He looked a lot like Pam's father. She watched as Vanessa caressed the faces of the two individuals and she wondered what was going through her mind.

  Vanessa's mind was in turmoil. She looked upon the faces of her mother and the man she had known all her life as her Uncle Charles. She had never known any other man to be around her or her mother. Yes, his job took him out of town a lot because he owned and operated his own trucking business but he had always been there. The feeling that crossed her soul on last night when she saw Pam came back ten-fold. I shouldn't be here she thought but her mother hadn't raised a coward so she waited for Pam to return with the photo album.

  She looked up and spotted Chris. Chris' eyes were riveted on the picture. She had forgotten Chris was in the room. She examined the look on Chris's face. It was one of comprehension. She followed Chris's line of sight back to her hand and the photo of her mother and Uncle Charles together. She closed the wallet and threw it back into her purse. She was getting up to make her exit when I walked back into the room.

  I looked at Chris and Vanessa, I could feel the tension in the air. "What's wrong?"

  Neither one said a word. Vanessa sat back down and said, "You found the album?"

  "Yeah, I have quite a few pictures of myself when I was younger. Do you want to see if we looked alike when we were little?"

  "Yeah, I'd love to. I just wish you had some family photos, it would be kind of like imagining I had a family to go home to," said Vanessa.

  I searched through the pictures and found the ones of myself and my sister Karen. Vanessa gave them a cursory glance. I searched the photo album again and finally found the one picture of my father. I pulled it out and showed it to her.

  Vanessa stared at the picture. It was her Uncle Charles from when she was a little girl. Her stomach began to churn. Her insides slowly began to boil with rage. She felt the need to lash out at anyone or anything. I sat there unaware that I had just turned her world upside down.

  She never showed any outward sign of distress. She looked at her watch and said just as calmly, "I just realized how late it is. I was supposed to meet a friend. I need to be going." She quickly gathered her things and headed for the door.

  I sat there with a mystified look on my face. Chris saw Vanessa out as Vanessa said she’d catch up with me later. When Chris came back into the room she said, "I know why she flew out of here so fast.”

  “Why? Was it something I said?” I asked.

  “No, she was about to leave before you came out of the room. She saw me looking at a picture she had taken out of her wallet,” said Chris.

  “A picture of who?” I asked dumbfounded. “That’s no reason to rush out of here.”

  “It is, if the picture was a picture of your father with a woman. I didn’t get a good look at the woman because of the way she was holding it, but it was probably her mother,” said Chris.

  “My father? Why would she have a picture of my father in her wallet?” I asked.

  “I think that’s the reason she really came over here. She knew there was a strong possibility that you were sisters. She wanted to make sure. When you showed her the picture of you and your sister Karen, she didn’t even look at them. She was solely focused on seeing the picture of your father. She paid attention to his picture. You showing her the picture confirmed what she had already been thinking.”

  "My dad didn’t seem to want me or Karen. Why would he go get another child when he didn’t want us. Besides she’s too young to be my sister. Karen is older than she is,” I said.

  “So you don’t think your dad would cheat on your mother. We both know better, we've seen him out and about with another woman,” said Chris.

  Cheating and having an outside child are two different things.”

  “Yeah, but one can lead to the other.”

  “I need to talk to my mother. Maybe she knows something. I’m going to head over to their house now,” I said with no small amount of trepidation.

  “Do you need me to come with you?” asked Chris.

  “No, I need a little process time. Is it okay if I borrow your car?"

  "Sure, no problem, take your time."

  "I’ll be back later this evening,” I said. I grabbed my purse and headed to my mother and father’s house. The house I grew up in. The house I loathed and loved.

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  Menacing Eyes