Floodlight

by Reba Birmingham

  We all stood, transfixed, and stared at the place the Barbie-sized hologram had been.

  Valerie said, “That was just like Star Wars—remember Princess Leia?” She started to panic. “Can this be real? I feel like I must be dreaming.”

  Ekk quietly got up off his chair and pinched her.

  “Ow,” she said. “Why did you do that?” She rubbed her arm.

  “That’s what they said to do in the human manual if someone thinks they’re dreaming.” He pulled a tiny pair of gold-rimmed glasses out of an invisible pocket and fit them on his tiny nose. He looked so sincere.

  “The human manual,” Juniper repeated thoughtfully, and a smile tugged at her lips.

  All three of us started laughing, the kind where you tip over to one side and tears run down your face. I know I snorted. Joni Mitchell said it best. “Laughing and crying, you know, it’s the same release.” But again, I digress.

  Resigned, I asked Ekk, “When do we leave?”

  “Tomorrow morning, if you can. There’s no time to waste. Before you get to the battleground, you need to be properly briefed.”

  “If you’re so organized, why the hell wasn’t somebody watching Mitzi?”

  “I don’t know what happened to Mitzi. We’re so low on cross-world travelers...but Heloisa sent one of our best guardians to watch over her.” His lip trembled. “The guardian hasn’t checked in. In fact, she has disappeared, too, so no food no water for me. The one you call Dresser probably got to Mitzi first. I’m sorry.”

  “But why Mitzi? She’s just a human woman from California, I assure you. Her mom lives in Stockton.” As if this was proof of her non-griffindomness.

  “Have you ever met her father, Dr. Schadt?” Ekk used Mitzi’s maiden name.

  “He died.”

  “That’s what they probably told her.”

  The clock dinged six. I sat down hard. “I don’t know if I can take any more.”

  “Panda, your wife is half griffin and has access to very powerful magic, if we can get her to remember.” Ekk was frustrated, hungry, and tired.

  “Guys, gals,” Val said, “as fun as this is, I think I need to go home and lay down. Some of us have to work tomorrow. Juniper has to report to the board of the museum, and I’m on overload. Let’s get Ekk to Panda’s house to clean up.” She stretched out one of his little arms. “And dress some nasty scratches.”

  Val is so practical.

  “Oh my God, this is the busiest time of the tax year. I can’t leave.”

  Juniper nailed me to my chair with a look.

  “Of course I can. It’s just so ingrained.” In twenty-three years, I’ve never left before my work was done. Again the killjoy. Trying to backtrack to our lighter mood, I said, “Perhaps elves will come in and finish my work.” I tried not to think of my pissed-off clients when I put in filing extensions for all of them. At least “Mongo,” the client with the shoebox, wouldn’t care.

  Ekk fairly squeaked out, “Yes, they will. At least, this one will. You didn’t ask what my special skill is. I’m an accountant.” He cracked his knuckles. “After a couple hours sleep, I’ll be ready to roll.”

  “Where did you learn how to do California taxes?” Juniper asked.

  “The Internet has revolutionized both our worlds. Lots of your movies are really quite popular in the realm.”

  “Let me get this straight. I’m just supposed to turn over my files to an elf?”

  “An enrolled agent elf.” His broad smile was reassuring.

  “Honey,” Val said. “You’re willing to get on a plane to Goddess knows where to get your wife back—who’s been kidnapped by an evil man named Wolf something—and enter a realm of the Black Forest. Oh, and you need to find out whatever secrets Mitzi’s family has been keeping. And your problem is letting someone else do a couple of 1040s?”

  I smiled sheepishly. “It’s not someone else. It’s an elf.”

  “An enrolled agent elf,” Juniper added, smiling.

  “It will be fine,” Ekk said. “Let’s come back after I have some food. I’m fading.”

  “We’re all tired,” I snapped.

  “Uh-oh.” Val pointed to his hand, which was now translucent.

  Literally, he was fading.

  “We require food from your world to stay connected to it.”

  I grabbed my keys. “Everybody. My house.”

  Val nudged Juniper, imitating me. “Stat.”

  IT WAS DARK by then, and no neighbors noticed three humans with an elf in Juniper’s oversized bag.

  Back at the house, the three of us moved as if previously coordinated. I ran bathwater, Juniper cooked, and Valerie inspected Ekk’s wounds.

  He ate two grilled cheeses and drank several sodas, confiding he wasn’t supposed to but they were so good.

  While he bathed, I washed his stinky little clothes, which dried extraordinarily fast. I was accepting of anything at this point and thought, of course they do.

  Cleaned up, with several bandages here and there, Ekk was fully solid again. It was a question of time.

  “Where is Mitzi and where are we going?” I asked.

  “She landed at Frankfurt, unless they went through Zurich, then took a car to the entrance of the Black Forest.”

  “That sounds so civilized,” Val said. “Kind of like a tour.”

  “Yeah, World Spree,” I said flatly.

  “It gets different after that, trust me,” Ekk said. “From there, you’ll be taken to our version of your ‘safe house.’ More instruction will follow. This is all I know other than Mitzi is alive and will be, until April twelfth at midnight. I was trying to invite you all, but that didn’t work.”

  “The invitation was so fragmented.”

  “I kept fading out. There’s been so little food. And that large woman with the torch kept hunting me. She’s the reason I haven’t eaten or slept except for a few hours during the day.”

  “Lulu, the formidable.” I giggled. Val was online, seeing about tickets to Europe.

  “Economy?” she asked.

  “Yes,” I said as Juniper said, “No.”

  “Economy.” Val turned in our computer chair. I could see Ekk in the background petting Brutus.

  “Hey, guys,” Val said. “I can’t leave for a couple more days. Mr. Dodd is failing.” Neither Juniper nor I argued with her; she puts her clients, who are on hospice, first. I couldn’t ask her to do more. My God, she was ready to fly halfway across the world on the word of an elf. “I’m making your reservations for tomorrow, after Juniper meets with the board at the museum. We’re doing this right. I plan for us all to come back and have careers after this.”

  No one could disagree. In the silence, we heard Ekk say, “Two? What happened then?”

  I ran to the couch and sat next to him. The look in Brutus’ eyes was one I’ve never seen. It was as if he was fully aware. I turned to Ekk. “You can talk to him?”

  “I speak to cats, but not really well. It’s more of an image thing that comes in my mind.”

  Juniper was overjoyed; she was loving all these new possibilities. I worried she might decide to stay in the Hercynian Garden. “What did he say?” Her eyes were bright.

  “A woman and a dwarf came here this morning and took Mitzi. They didn’t hurt her, but she drank something and it looked like she was sleeping.”

  “That’s all?”

  “Well, he likes the stuff you feed him from the purple bag, and he was really mad about being locked in the closet by the dwarf. That’s it.”

  Cats.

  THE NEXT MORNING Juniper dressed in her most businesslike attire, a blue-and-white-collared shirt with blazer, white pants, and blue-and-white spectator pumps. Her hair was in a perfect updo, and you’d never know she’d been cavorting with otherworldly creatures the day before.

  As she approached the Craftsman structure that housed the museum, she saw workmen removing banners that had announced the Castlebaum exhibit.

  She parked her Citroen in t
he usual spot in front of the museum. Her loyal assistant, Garcia, intercepted her at her car before she could walk through the front door.

  “Ms. Juniper, don’t go in!” he said, breathless. “The whole board met last night. They’re waiting to gang up on you in there.”

  Juniper appreciated his loyalty and hugged his shoulders. “Don’t worry, I’ve got my big-girl panties on.” She pranced up the steps like she owned the place.

  Garcia followed her up the stairs. He’d been her biggest supporter since joining the staff upon Linda Chicolet’s recommendation. It was, in Juniper’s opinion, the one good thing she’d done. They walked up to the big, wooden, antique desk together. Mona, the receptionist, appeared to be nervously awaiting Juniper’s arrival. “The board wants to meet with you in the conference room,” Mona said. Then in a quieter voice, she added, “I’ve been asked to say.” She lowered her eyes.

  What nastiness there must have been prior to her arrival.

  Juniper righted an earring, a habit when she was thinking, and turned to Garcia. “Is Lucas Windingle or Maribel Martine there?” They were her biggest supporters on the board.

  “No. I think that’s why they called the meeting now. Neither one will be back in town till next week.” Garcia fixed her with big brown eyes. “This is much worse than when we tried to introduce the Gay and Lesbian exhibit.”

  She had to smile thinking of that upheaval. “Uh-huh, thanks.”

  Juniper walked to the end of the mahogany hallway, squared her shoulders, and strode in to the board room. Dick Mortimer was seated at the head of the table and didn’t get up. Linda Chicolet was to his right. Several invertebrates—Val’s not so affectionate nickname for them—were present and very few friendly faces.

  “Please, have a seat,” Dick said. “The board has called a special meeting.”

  Juniper took a deep breath and said, “Dick, board, glad you’re all here, because I’m taking a well-deserved, two-week vacation. Starting today. The installation is set, and this is a good time.” She could tell they were irritated at her acting as if she called the meeting.

  It appeared that Dick wasn’t about to let her steal his thunder. “Miss Gooden, I called this meeting to tell you it’s a good time for you to leave—but not just a vacation.”

  “It’s Ms.” She looked around. “How about waiting till you have a full board?”

  The table was long and oval, and the shiny reddish wood showed more than a few reflected faces looking sheepish.

  “I agree,” Jason Drake, a reasonable board member, said.

  “This is a topic for the full board. Let’s put it off until next week when Maribel and Lucas are back.”

  Dick shot him a poisonous look. “We already went through that yesterday.” Then to Juniper, he said, “Not even your deluded supporters on the board can save you now. After the disaster Saturday night, I must do the only responsible thing and—”

  “Throw me under the bus?”

  “No, show this town the museum responds appropriately to an upstart curator making a mockery of Merryville and its mayor.”

  Several heads nodded.

  “But Mrs. Windingle at the Floodlight event said—”

  Dick cut her off. “She’ll come around. Her support of the museum is unfailing, and I think she was just being gracious Saturday night. There’s no excuse for your lack of control of the exhibit or the artist.”

  Linda added, “And there’s also an out-of-budget bill for the cherry picker. Had no idea those things cost this much, did you?” The false empathy was nauseating as she tried to hide her smirk.

  Garcia opened his mouth, but Juniper put up a hand for him to let her speak.

  “I see.” She took another moment, brow furrowed, and then looked up. “Just to be clear, are you firing me?”

  Cynthia Snively, human resource tool of Linda and Dick said, “Of course we’d rather you resigned. It would look better for both you and the museum.” She looked like a caricature of sadness.

  Juniper jumped up. “No, I don’t think I want to do that. Either put me down as on vacation or fire me. Let me know. I have a plane to catch. Anything else?” She sounded like she was dismissing them.

  The board erupted in comments such as, “This is impertinent,” and “The gall.”

  Dick rapped his gavel for order. “You can go, Juniper. We’re releasing a statement to the press. Ms. Snively has your check. The board has spoken.”

  Juniper walked the hall back to reception, and Garcia and Mona hugged her silently. They all had tears in their eyes. There was nothing to say.

  Back at the house, Valerie met her at the door, bags packed.

  “Did you get the books?” Juniper asked.

  “Yep, three copies of Eat Pray Love, but why?”

  “You’ll see.”

  EKK AND I went back to the office at five a.m., the better to avoid prying eyes and to get a jump on the work ahead of him. My clients are more than just their files. I really feel I have a duty to treat each and every one like they’re the only one. It was difficult to turn them over to anyone, especially an elf I’d just met.

  “Here’s the first one, David and Margie Mendez. No kids, but he has an S Corporation.”

  I sat in the chair next to Ekk and watched him work with growing amazement. First, he was neat and orderly. He sharpened his pencils and organized the paperwork as he should. By seven-thirty a.m., although tired, I was feeling much better about leaving. There was only one more thing for me to do.

  I called Babs, the one and only employee besides me, at home, and said, “Hi.” The idea was to head her off at the pass. I really should have thought this out better before dialing.

  She said a slow, “Hi,” probably because it was very strange for me to call her at home when she would see me in about forty-five minutes. We always got to the office early before seeing clients.

  “What’s up?” she asked.

  “You won’t believe this, Babs, but we’re ready to close a few days early this tax season. Go ahead and take this week off.”

  Silence on the other line, then she said, “April Fool’s was awhile ago. Have you been drinking?”

  “No. I need to leave town today, so I worked through the weekend.”

  “Okay, I’ll just come in the office and—”

  “No!”

  “Does someone there have a gun?” she whispered. “Just say tomatoes so they don’t get suspicious.”

  I laughed. “No, Babs, no tomatoes, and you really deserve some time off. In fact, I forbid you to come in this week.”

  “Have I been replaced? You know I really need this job.” I heard a sob.

  Oh God. “Stop, come in now if you must, but hurry. I need to bring you up to speed and then jump on a plane.”

  Twenty minutes later, I heard the bell on the front door. Before I could prepare her, Ekk came out of our small kitchen area wearing a knitted cap to cover his ears, with two mugs of hot coffee.

  “Oh my Gawd!” Babs said. “How cute! I’m sorry, you’re just so elf like.”

  Babs was very honest, if not too tactful.

  Ekk turned red.

  “Babs, meet Ekk. He’s an enrolled agent and is going to be here for a couple of days working but can’t be seen by our clients, okay?”

  “Sure.” She nodded conspiratorially, then said to Ekk, “Ya’ll like to be called little people, right?”

  Ekk put down his coffee and, correctly reading the situation, said, “Sure.”

  “Ekk is here because obviously the final returns need to be completed and sent in. You meet with the clients for any last-minute changes. Just tell them I stepped out. Don’t be fooled by appearances. Ekk is very capable. Things will be back to normal in a week or so. Any questions?”

  Whatever I was expecting, it wasn’t “what temp agency did you use?”

  I UBERED DOWN to the airport. I easily spotted Juniper in her multicolored clothes, sunglasses, and white pants. She stood in front of the International Te
rminal. She greeted me with a big smile and hug. “Here, take this,” she said, and handed me a book.

  “Eat Pray Love?”

  “Yes. We’re on a mission to save the world and Mitzi. We can’t raise any eyebrows.” At my look, she added, “Nobody pays attention to middle-aged women reading books like this.”

  I looked at her getup and compared it with mine—jeans, a blue-and-white jumper, and athletic shoes. “Sure.” We did look pretty harmless.

  I rolled my carry-on inside and got in a very long line that snaked around like a ride at Disneyland and led up to the Lufthansa ticketing window.

  Juniper wagged a well-manicured index finger in front of me. “Uh-uh,” she said and walked over to business class. Curious, I followed.

  “Val upgraded us last night.”

  “How did you win that one?”

  “Safety. Rightly or wrongly, people in business class are watched over more. There may be bad guys after us.”

  “Okay!” My mood brightened. The thought of spending fourteen hours in steerage hadn’t been appealing.

  “Besides, we might die and then we’d have spent our last hours being miserable.”

  I looked at her again, my smile fading, but she was already smiling and walking up to the ticket agent.

  TSA was a breeze. Between our ages, the books, and upgraded seats, we were shooed through. I wished for the thousandth time that it was Mitzi and I going on vacation.

  We walked toward our gate, and I found myself staring at every person in the airport.

  “Stop that,” Juniper said without turning.

  “Stop what?”

  “You aren’t acting like a carefree tourist. Here, let’s go into the bookstore.”

  In the store, I hunted for something I hadn’t already read. There were books Mitzi would have loved, and it made my eyes sting. What were we doing? Would we get there in time? Ironically, it was while I was paying attention to shopping that I noticed a fellow who looked familiar. He was dark and foreign, much like the folks at the museum event a couple of days before. Had they been following us even then?