Navy SEAL Series Boxed Set

by Odette Stone

  “And then you two slept together.”

  I looked at my hands. “I don’t think it meant the same thing to him as it did to me.”

  “It was your first time,” her voice was sympathetic, “of course it meant something to you.”

  “It definitely wasn’t his first time.”

  We both looked at each other and then at the same time, we started to laugh. I laughed until I cried. Beth had her face on the table, and her shoulders were shaking so hard. When we both came up for air, we both had tears in our eyes.

  “Shit,” she said. “I mean, out of all the guys, you had to pick him? Seriously!”

  I wailed. “I don’t even know how that happened.”

  “How was…”

  Really good,” I interrupted. Flashes of Jackson, naked, devastating me with another kiss. Touching me. Lifting me up. Moving on top of me. It was a movie that played over regularly in my mind. Once started, it was hard to stop.

  Beth leaned forward, her elbows on the table, her hands covering her mouth. “Julie would have a shit fit if she ever found out.”

  A wet snort came out. “Fuck her. She fucked Matt. Repeatedly.”

  “Matt doesn’t know?”

  I shook my head. “No. How easily did he get off? He had the affair. I get the secret.”

  She rolled her eyes. “That sucks.”

  “I can't marry Matt. I need to break this off with him.”

  “When are you going to do that?”

  I shrugged. “When the doctor says I’m allowed to upset him?”

  “But before the wedding, right?”

  “Helpful advice.”

  “Hey, with your luck, he'll be going straight from the hospital to the church.”

  I pointed at her. “Don’t even jinx me like that.”

  “Are you going to be okay?”

  I took a deep breath. “Yeah. I think I have spent so much time living in fear of being alone that maybe I just need to embrace it and accept that I might need to be alone for awhile. But I'd rather be alone than be with the wrong guy just because I'm afraid to be alone.”

  We sat there in silence for a long moment.

  “You ever hear from him?”

  I shrugged. “Just a couple texts here and there.”

  “So are you going to keep up the charade until Matt is better? Do you think you'll have a change of heart?”

  I shook my head. “No. I know I won’t. I don't want to marry Matt.”

  Chapter 41

  Three days later, I sat in Matt’s room while he ate dinner.

  “Want some green Jello?” he asked with a smile.

  I smiled back and shook my head. “All yours.”

  “I managed to walk around the ward three times this afternoon.”

  “That’s so good,” I smiled. I remember how Matt used to go for hour-long runs just to burn off his excess energy. How times had changed.

  “I’m a bit concerned about my mom,” he looked over at me. “I think the commute from the hospital to the loft is taking a toll on her.”

  I didn’t argue. Irene looked more exhausted every day. “It’s been a tough go.”

  He ran his tongue over his teeth. “Do you still have your granny’s condo?”

  “Yes.”

  “I know it's a lot to ask, but do you think she could stay there for awhile? If I recall, the condo is only a couple of minutes from here. She could leave anytime she wanted and go for a nap or a swim. You know how much she loves swimming.” Matt gave me a beguiling smile.

  I couldn’t bring myself to meet Matt’s eyes. “Well, someone is staying there right now.”

  “Who?” He frowned. “You didn’t rent it, did you?”

  I cleared my throat and then scratched my eyebrow. “I offered for Jackson to stay there.”

  His head jerked back. “Excuse me?”

  I swallowed, trying to bring some saliva into my dry mouth. “Irene didn’t want him around because he upset you. But Jackson is getting treatment at the military hospital. I didn’t think anyone would even care. It isn’t like we're seeing him.”

  He shook his head. “No.”

  “Matt. You don’t remember a lot, but you wanted Jackson to come and live with us. You insisted.”

  “I never would have done that.”

  “Well, it wasn’t me. You pushed for him to live with us, and you should know he was pretty great to both of us when he lived with us.”

  “He isn’t welcome in our lives. I want you to ask him to leave.”

  I felt my entire posture go rigid. “I'm not asking him to leave. He's been through enough.”

  He gave a harsh laugh. “He’s been through enough? You’re really going to say that to me?”

  “You don’t know everything.”

  “Oh yeah? Are you going to throw my amnesia in my face every time we disagree?”

  “That isn’t even fair but letting him camp out in a place we never use, isn’t a big deal.”

  “Emily, if you knew what I knew, you wouldn't say that.”

  “Well, I'm not going to kick him out. I'll pay for a hotel for Irene if she wants to go lie down during the day, but you can’t ask me to ask him to leave.”

  “I'm not asking,” Matt glared at me. “I'm telling you.”

  I looked at him in complete bafflement. “What exactly happened between the two of you?”

  He shook his head. “Just get rid of him. There's no room for him in our lives.”

  “I will not.”

  “You’re going to choose my dad’s charity case over your fiancé?” He sounded loud and rude.

  My legs shook as I stood up.

  “You’re leaving? Really? That’s your solution? To run away from this talk?”

  “I can’t marry someone who keeps secrets from me, Matt.”

  “That doesn’t even make sense,” he yelled.

  “I'm not entering into this marriage with a lot of secrets,” I repeated. “So think about that.”

  “What’s all this commotion,” Irene said from the door.

  “Ask your son,” I hitched my purse over my shoulder, “I'm going home.”

  I walked down the hallway, my eyes blinded with tears. This was a nightmare that would not end.

  “Emily!” a voice called from behind me. “Emily!”

  I stopped in my tracks, but I didn’t turn around. I waited until Irene caught up.

  “What do you think you are doing,” she hissed at me. “How dare you upset him like that?”

  “He's not reasonable.”

  “He’s sick.”

  “He can’t tell me to kick Jackson out of my granny’s place. Jackson's doing what you asked. He’s kept his distance from all of us. Why can’t Matt leave him alone?”

  “Matt needs to heal and doesn’t need this drama.”

  I shook my head. “You were all for this drama a couple of months ago when it looked like they were reconciling.”

  “If Matt doesn’t want to have anything to do with Jackson, that’s his prerogative. We aren’t going to push him on that.”

  “I’m not asking for Matt to talk to Jackson, but someone had to be there for Jackson when his so-called family turned their backs on him.”

  “That’s uncalled for.”

  “If the truth fits.”

  She pointed her finger at me. “Matt is going to be your husband. You need to learn to stand by him.”

  I threw my head back and laughed. “That’s rich.”

  “I’m very disappointed in you, Emily. I thought you were cut from better cloth.”

  My tone was ice. “I think we've all been experiencing a lot of stress lately, so I'm going to let that comment slide. There's a hotel across the street. I'm going to pay for a room for you there because I think you look tired and you could use the extra rest and perhaps we all could use some space.”

  Her skin flushed darkly. I turned and walked rapidly away from her.

  I didn’t cry until I got to my car. My heart broke
for Jackson. The man had done nothing but bestow undue patience and kindness towards Matt, Irene and myself. Every time I turned around, he had been there for us. Especially me. And now the only two people that he could call family in this world turned their backs on him. I cried for the little boy who had such a rough start to this world, who had grown up to be one of the most incredible men I had met in my life. Why couldn’t they see that about him? Why were they so horrible to him? It broke my heart to see him shunned by the two people who should love him.

  Ten minutes later, I stood at my granny’s penthouse, knocking at the door even though I had my own key.

  The door swung open. Jackson stood there. He wore a pair of faded jeans, and his hair was damp. My mouth went dry as my eyes traveled over his naked muscular torso.

  “Hey,” his expression was guarded.

  I felt suddenly, ridiculously, nervous. “Hey. Sorry to bother you.”

  He swung the door wide open. “Come on in.”

  I followed him inside. Seeing a half-naked Jackson in my granny’s penthouse felt like two worlds colliding. I felt a mixture of such loneliness and sorrow, loss and love that I wanted to throw myself on the familiar marble floor and weep with desperation.

  He glanced over his shoulder and turned around when he saw the expression on my face. “You okay?”

  I swallowed, momentarily unable to speak. “It’s just hard to be here.”

  With you.

  Something tender flickered in his eyes. “I bet.”

  “I should go,” I said, spinning around and moving towards the door.

  I opened it, but a big hand came up beside my head and pushed the door shut. His voice was deep and low in my opposite ear, “Where are you going?”

  A shudder the size of a California earthquake rippled down my spine. Desire, emotion, everything both good and bad quaked through my body. I could feel the heat of him through my t-shirt. His fresh, clean scent filled my nostrils. I felt like an addict who had stayed sober for a couple of weeks and now was face to face with my drug of choice.

  I stood there for the longest of moments, completely still, trying to work up my courage to just walk away. My erratic breath sounded for us to hear.

  His big, warm hand lightly pushed hair off my neck.

  “Emily.”

  The sound of my name on his lips was the tipping point. I spun around, and then he lifted me up into his strong arms. My legs wrapped around his waist and my back simultaneously hit the door. His mouth slanted over mine, kissing me as I've never been kissed before. I clung to his neck and moaned as his tongue did wicked, wonderful, perfect things to my mouth.

  A big hand wrapped around my hair, tugging my head back. I cried out as his mouth slid down a delicate nerve in my neck, causing an electric shock to shoot down my back. Another big hand grabbed my butt and yanked me hard against him, grinding me hard against his hips. I felt his arousal pushing against my apex.

  “This isn’t why I came here,” I moaned, as I pushed my hands through his thick hair, pulling his mouth closer to my neck.

  “Tell me why you're here,” his voice was muffled against my neck.

  “I don’t know,” I moaned, my eyes wide open and staring at the high ceiling of the entrance. “I couldn’t stay away.”

  He lifted his head, and two green eyes stared into my own. The look he gave me was so honest and real that it made me want to burst into tears. I felt like I had been living a lie for the last couple of weeks and finally, I was able to breathe and be myself.

  A large hand came up and pushed the hair off my face. “Are you okay?”

  I fought not to cry. I shook my head.

  “Want to talk?”

  I shook my head again. “I need to go.”

  Some emotion I couldn’t decipher flitted across his gaze so fast I wasn’t sure I had seen anything at all. He slowly lowered me down onto my trembling legs.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, and this time I did start crying. My entire face crumpled up. God this man must be so tired of my tears.

  “Emily talk to me,” his voice was unfeigned. He held my hand and looked at me with such concern, it only made me cry harder. Sobbing, I wrenched my hand out of his before turning and disappearing out the door.

  Chapter 42

  Chloe and I walked home from the river. On her leash, she sniffed the grass. I thought about the disaster my life had become. Why had I shown up last night at the penthouse? I showed up there out of empathy and sadness for Jackson but seeing him had done something to me. I had no control around the man. He felt like oxygen to my starved brain and heart.

  I shook my head. I hated myself for going there. I hated myself even more for leaving. Now I avoided Irene and Matt. I ignored half a dozen texts and two phone calls from them, and now I was avoiding the hospital. I needed to face the music at some point, but I felt so tired. I wanted to lie in bed and sleep my problems away.

  Problems that wouldn’t go away. Jackson would leave New York in four short weeks to go back to his life. Once I broke things off from Matt, it was safe to say that I would never see either of them again. The past few weeks without Jackson had reminded me of the weeks after my granny had died. Grey and barren. I glimpsed how my future unfolded in front of me. I wasn’t sure if I'd be able to withstand the crush of how lonely it would be.

  I didn’t see him. One minute I was wrapped in my thoughts, and then he stood there. I stopped walking. I took in his appearance. The man looked rough. Angry. He was dressed in dirty jeans and an old black jean jacket. His black hair slicked off his harsh features. His dark eyes were cold as he took me in.

  “You out for a walk?” he stepped forward and knelt over Chloe. He held her face too hard as she worked to back away from his touch.

  I pulled her leash and tried to step around him.

  His grip was like steel on my arm. “Where do you think you're going?”

  “My husband is waiting for me,” my voice faltered over my lie. Terrible thoughts ran through my mind as I tried to remember all the steps from my defense class.

  He gave a harsh laugh and grabbed me hard. “I don’t think so.”

  I dropped Chloe’s leash and used both arms to push against his chest. “What are you doing?”

  “You look like a nice piece of tight ass,” his eyes raked over my body. “Not like those whores I'm usually with.”

  My eyes darted around, as I tried to find another human being in the area. There was no one. The place was deserted. Chloe was gone. She had taken off at an alarming rate back to the loft. Tears blurred my eyes. I made a move to run but he yanked me back so hard I lost my balance.

  “Leave me alone,” I said through clenched teeth.

  His hand connected with my cheek with such force I saw stars. And then his hand came back the other way, hitting my face so forcefully it knocked me off my feet. Gravel dug into my hands as I turned and tried to crawl away. I felt his grip on my hips as I kicked and screamed. I had visions of this man hurting me, raping me, killing me.

  “That’s it,” he yanked me hard. “I love it when they fight. Nothing turns me on more.”

  My arms and my hands beat him, trying to scratch, claw, connect with something. He tossed me so hard to the ground that the breath knocked out of me. I lay there on my side, struggled to get air into my lungs, but my rib cage refused, and I wheezed and gasped, unable to breathe I was so winded.

  He knelt over me and then he ripped my shirt open. Dirty hands pushed up beneath my bra, and cold fingers pinched and dug into my breasts. I managed to rake my nails down over the length of his face before he backhanded me. Pain exploded in my head. I tasted blood. Tears blurred my vision. I heard him laugh and then his dirty hands tore at my pants. Fighting my belt, greedy, yanking at it so hard, my hips lifted off the ground.

  A surge of fear went through me. Was this happening to me? I tried to lift my knees. I tried to buck him off, but the weight of him on my thighs was too heavy.

  “Nooo,” I screamed, c
rying so hard I couldn’t bring oxygen into my lungs. I heard Chloe barking in the distance.

  “That’s it, baby,” he grunted, as he yanked my pants down to my hips. I watched through blurred eyes as he trailed one dirty hand over my chest and then he slowly, started to undo the belt on his pants.

  “No,” I whimpered, trying to push up. His hands came to my throat, choking me. My hands went around his neck, fighting him. I couldn’t breathe. I was suffocating. He was going to kill me. I was going to die at the hands of a madman. I thought I would have a heart attack before he managed to choke the life out of me. I didn’t want to die like this. I didn’t want to be murdered on the side of the road with no one around, no one wondering where I was. Who would take care of Chloe? I would never see Jackson again. I clawed at his face, but to no avail. His ugly features swam before my eyes. I could feel myself begin to black out. I cursed his face in my mind. I cursed this animal that was going to take away my last chance to see Jackson again.

  And then he was gone.

  I rolled over on my stomach, coughing and gasping in pain as I tried to pull air into my lungs. I pushed myself to a kneeling position. I needed to run. I needed to get away. What if he came back? My pants were on my hips. I staggered to my feet, pulling up my pants. I was crying and shaking, completely in shock. I became conscious of the sound of someone getting hit. Repeatedly. I swung around, and Jackson knelt over him and repeatedly pounded his fists into the guy’s face.

  “Jackson,” I wailed, my voice sounding thin and reedy.

  He stopped and looked up at me. His face was a mask of rage. His eyes had murder in them. Blood splatter covered his face. He was breathing like a crazy man. I bent over and howled in pain and fear.

  He rushed towards me. I collapsed into his arms, sobbing and clinging to his hoodie. He had his hands on my chin as he took in my bloody face. I tasted the bitter iron of my blood dripping down my lip. I used the back of my hand to wipe my mouth. Tears poured from my eyes, and I hurt so much I thought I was going to blackout.