Shot Through the Heart

by Diane Benefiel

  Feeling stronger with her decision, Rane straightened as he moved to go past. She raised a palm, reaching out to lay it on his chest. He jerked to a stop as if hit by a Taser, his heart picking up its beat beneath her touch. Distracted by the warm skin, she slid unsteady fingers through dark chest hair.

  He caught her hand in a hard grip. “Don’t do this if you don’t want to see it through.”

  She laced her fingers through his, clearing a suddenly tight throat. “I do. I want to see it through.”

  “I’m not talking about just sex, Rane. I want more.”

  “We can be together for right now. I’m sorry. I can’t promise more than that.”

  His gaze direct, she thought he could see into her very soul. “God, I can’t say no. But know this. It’s only a start. I intend to keep pushing. I want a relationship with you.”

  With a nod of mute acquiescence, she leaned forward to press a warm kiss to the side of his throat. He pulled her into him, crushing her body to his. She reacted as she’d always yearned to. She wrapped her arms around his neck and accepted his kiss with her heart poured into her response.

  Muscles bunched as he bent low and scooped her into his arms. He stood, holding her securely as his lips found hers again. The romance of the gesture nearly undid her. He broke the kiss and stared into her eyes for a long moment before striding across the hall.

  The flameless candles cast her bedroom in faint shadows. He dipped his head for another seductive kiss. Leaning down, he laid her gently on the bed without breaking contact. When he stood, his gaze fastened with rapt intensity on where her robe had loosened to reveal a narrow strip of bare skin. “I wouldn’t have been able to hold out so long if I’d known you were buck naked under that robe.”

  She reached up to tug at the elastic waist of his flannel pants. “Why aren’t you buck naked?”

  “’Cause I don’t want this to be over before it starts.” He propped his arms on either side of her head, leaning down to press open-mouthed kisses to the sensitive skin beneath her ear and along her jaw. She could feel his muscles quiver before he finally gave in and lay on top of her, heat pressed to heat, heart pressed to heart.

  Letting her fingers trail down the dip in his spine, she savored the smooth texture of his skin, skimming lightly over the bandage he still wore above his hip. Drowning in sensation, she stretched languorously under the incredible pleasure of feeling his hands and then his lips brushing over her breasts. The liquid pull that had started with that kiss in the kitchen heated to molten desire, roiling up, ready to explode in a blast furnace.

  While his hands continued their thorough exploration of her body, she let hers slide lower under his waistband, running them over taut buttocks.

  He nuzzled into her neck. “Ah, Rane. I’ll be back in a second. I didn’t go to brush my teeth thinking I’d need a condom.”

  When he would have risen, she tightened her grip and smiled up at him. “I guess I make a better Boy Scout than you. There are a couple in my nightstand.”

  He shifted back to look at her, raising an eyebrow. She smiled. “I lived in hope my dry spell would break.”

  He grinned. “Lucky me.” He reached across her to pull open the drawer. When she would have taken the packet from him, he shook his head. “Let me. I’m so close to the edge right now, I’d go right over if you touched me.”

  He rose to kick off the flannel pants and, with protection taken care of, lowered himself back onto her. “That’s good.” He settled himself firmly into the cradle of her hips. “That’s really good.”

  He used his hands, his lips, his tongue, stroked and tasted until she felt intoxicated with the feel of him. Her heart raced faster, the more she touched, the more he touched. Muscles shifted under her fingers, muscles that loosened or tautened depending on how and where she caressed. Long minutes passed, pressure building, until she was on the trembling edge of sanity. When she shifted in anticipation, he held back. “Not yet, sweetheart. There’s no rush.”

  But there was a rush. A long, glorious rush of feeling that very nearly overwhelmed her. As much as she wanted more fast, he took his time to lick and nip at every possible responsive point on her body. She hadn’t known the backs of her knees could be so sensitive. Or the spot just under her ear. She pressed her mouth against the ridge of his shoulder, the dip of his throat. Only when she was trembling and nearly frantic with need, his heavy breathing mirroring hers, did he finally, finally take that ultimate step, surging into her with a powerful motion. She caught her breath as sensation shot through her then released it on a humming sigh.

  He framed her face with his hands and built a rhythm rising steadily in intensity, eyes of brilliant blue locked on hers. The need focused, sharpened, and then the last strands of control snapped to hurl her over the brink. His body tensed, and he fastened his lips on hers before following her into oblivion.

  They lay exhausted, collapsed like marathoners just past the finish line. Finally, Rane gathered the energy to raise a hand and pat him on the butt.

  His chest rumbled against her ear when he spoke. “I think I’ve seen God. I’ll get off you so you can breathe. In a minute.”

  He finally did, wrapping an arm around her so she turned with him. She sprawled across him, legs tangled with his, her head against his shoulder. Warm fingers stroked lazily down the length of her back, and she felt the heavy rise of his chest as his breathing deepened. The warmth of their coming together settled over her like a balm. She couldn’t push her emotions back into a corner, safely walled off anymore. She’d have to deal with that later, but right now, she would take what she had and hold on tight. She cuddled into him, comforted by the secure feeling of his arms around her, and allowed herself to drift to sleep.

  ***

  Rane awakened to Cooper’s nose resting on the edge of her pillow as he stared at her with unblinking eyes. On the other side of the bed, rumpled blankets and an indentation on the pillow gave evidence she hadn’t spent the night alone. This was going to be very awkward if he’d gone back to his bed.

  Sitting up, she gave Cooper an absent pet then took a moment to rest her head in her hands. Get a grip. So she’d made love with John. No. They’d had sex. Really stupendous sex. She wasn’t going to commit to anything more than that. She’d spent the night wrapped around him, but she’d need to be careful there, or she wouldn’t be able to keep the distance necessary for her survival.

  She always hated the morning after. In her experience, the morning after always brought all sorts of questions. Had it meant anything to him? Would they see each other again? Was it good for you? Yes/No. Circle the appropriate answer. Not that she would ever ask the questions—they would just be spinning around inside her head. And when the guy left you to wake up alone, the awkwardness just multiplied. And why was she obsessing when she didn’t want an emotional relationship to begin with?

  Deciding she really, really needed coffee and a shower, in that order, she pulled on sweatpants and a thermal shirt and headed downstairs. She paused in the doorway to the kitchen. Sunlight streamed into the room, evidence the storm of the night before had cleared. And there he stood, barefoot and bare chested, holding a spatula, flipping pancakes. Man, oh man, he looked good. She tried to tell herself it was the lack of coffee that made her weak in the knees, but when he turned toward her and flashed that lightning grin, she knew it was him. Just him. “Hey.”

  John looked up to see Rane leaning against the doorjamb. She looked uncertain, like she didn’t know what to expect from him. Which suited him just fine. It was okay to keep her wondering. Stepping back from the stove, he crossed to where she stood, bent his head, and brought his lips to hers in a very thorough good morning kiss. He pulled back and tipped her chin up. “Don’t overthink it, Rane.”

  “I’m not overthinking anything.”

  “You are. I can see little cogs spinning behind your eyes.”

  She gave a defensive shrug.

  “Grab the butter and syrup. The
se are about ready.”

  In short order, she’d filled her coffee mug, and they were seated at the table, pancakes piled on a platter between them. He ran upstairs, and when he came back down, he wore a black SPD T-shirt.

  He shrugged at her raised brows. “Mom wouldn’t let Nathan or me sit down for a meal without a shirt. Old habits die hard.”

  “Good mom.” Rane speared a couple of pancakes and laid them on her plate.

  Cooper sat beside John’s chair, watching his every move.

  She considered the dog then John. “Have you been feeding him at the table?”

  Damn dog gave it away. “Me? That would be bad, right?”

  “Yes, that would be bad. I don’t want him learning to beg.”

  He cast a regretful look at the dog. “Sorry, pal. The lady says no, so that means no.” Cooper collapsed into a sorrowful heap. “You’re not his favorite person right now, you know that?”

  “Yeah. One of us has to be the grown up. You can give him a pancake after we’re done. He has a weakness for them.”

  John studied Rane as he ate. He just couldn’t get enough of her. With the awareness in her sea green eyes and slightly rumpled look from the night they’d spent together, she looked just about perfect. He could get used to waking up with her next to him, sharing breakfast. But there were matters, serious matters, needing their attention before he could advance their relationship where he wanted it to go. He swallowed his last bite of pancake and sat back, gazing at her as he sipped his coffee. “You’re meeting with Kyle today. We need to talk about that.”

  “I’m not sure what there is to talk about.” She frowned, fiddling with her fork before continuing. “Something was bothering me after I talked with him the other night.”

  “What’s that?”

  “He knew who you were and that you were coming to pick me up. He seems to know my schedule. He knew when I got off work that evening and that I’m scheduled for today.”

  “Yeah, the DiNardos have an inside person at St. Augustine’s, the person who’s stealing the Oxy. We’re working on it. Nathan got a lead when he was a patient.”

  “Really? While he’s recovering from a bullet wound, he figures out who the inside guy is? Talk about multi-tasking.”

  “Yeah, he’s pretty motivated on this case. What time is your lunch break?”

  “Three, unless we get swamped.”

  “Okay. I worked it out with the team. We thought since Kyle might know who I am, Ty and Ben will be at the picnic benches when you come out. They’ll have vests and hardhats like road workers. I’ve got a couple of other plainclothes guys from the division who’ll be hanging out in the area. We’ll have you wired. If DiNardo tries anything, and I mean anything, Rane, I want you to—”

  “Wired? I won’t be wired.”

  “Yeah, you will. I’ll be in an unmarked car, listening. That way, if this thing goes sideways, I’ll be right on top of it.”

  “No. No way, John. I can’t wear a wire.” She hesitated, and he wondered why she appeared to be scrambling for a reason. “I’d feel too weird. Too unnatural. Kyle knows me well enough to realize if my behavior is off.” She got up to top off his coffee then hers. When she leaned against the counter and sipped from her mug, he thought she was trying to hide her anxiety behind the movements.

  “You’ll be fine. We can hook you up this morning so you can get used to it. By three, you won’t even remember it’s there.” He tried to keep any irritation out of his voice. She had to do this.

  “I’ll remember, and I can’t wear a wire in the hospital. I have to think about patient confidentiality. No wire, John.”

  He swore under his breath then rose to stand in front of her, legs apart, arms folded. “How am I supposed to keep you safe if you don’t cooperate?”

  “I’m cooperating. I told you about my meeting with him, didn’t I? But I won’t wear a wire. I told you he won’t hurt me.”

  “You’re putting a lot of faith in a guy fresh out of prison for a major drug offense.” He saw a flicker in her expression, and his instincts hummed. She was hiding something. “Kyle DiNardo is a known heroin supplier and a key member of the area’s largest illegal drug organization.” And someone who also appears to be the only serious boyfriend she’s ever had.

  “He won’t hurt me.”

  He reached both hands up to run them through his hair. Frustration, jealousy, fear for her safety—they made a lousy combination. Cooper sat at attention, ears perked. John returned to the table to get a pancake. He threw it like a Frisbee. The dog snagged it and swallowed it in one mouthful. The wire was a non-negotiable. That had come from Denton. If she was worried about acting self-conscious because she was wired then the solution was that she wouldn’t know it was there. She’d be pissed if she found out he’d planted a bug, but he’d deal with that. Her safety trumped lying to her.

  “He’d better not.”

  “He won’t, and thanks for not pushing. I’m going up for a shower. I’ll straighten the kitchen when I come back down.”

  He shoved back his concerns about the coming meeting. She was here with him now, and he wanted her with a hunger only honed sharper by the night they’d spent together. He gripped his shirt by the collar, pulled it over his head, and was gratified when she swallowed audibly. Her gaze lowered to his chest as he tossed it aside. “Good idea.”

  Her irises darkened to a deeper green when he stepped toward her. “You joining me?”

  “That’s the idea.”

  He cupped her face, fingers threading into silky hair at the nape of her neck. She tasted of maple syrup and sweetened coffee, the combination making him want to slurp her up in one tasty gulp. Her arms tightened around his shoulders, and when he reached down for her, she wrapped her legs around his hips. He boosted her up and, lips still locked on hers, carried her up the stairs.

  ***

  Rane exited the hospital employee entrance carrying her lunchbox. The sun shone in a sky of deepest blue, reminding her why she loved Seattle. She still tingled from her shared shower with John. God, the man made her feel. Everything was just more around him. More color, more heat, more emotion. She couldn’t be in love with him. She wouldn’t let herself love him. Their relationship couldn’t go anywhere. She knew that. She’d enjoy what he gave her in the moment. And if she wasn’t going to blow this meeting with Kyle, she’d better focus.

  Approaching the picnic tables, she scanned for him. The “road workers,” Ben and Ty in beat-up hard hats, sat with sack lunches. She deliberately chose a table far enough from theirs that they wouldn’t be able to overhear her conversation. She unpacked her lunch and was chewing her first bite of Caesar salad when Kyle slid onto the bench across the table from her.

  He hunched into his pea coat despite the unseasonably warm temperature. “Your cop friend around?”

  “No. What’s going on, Kyle?”

  “You need to leave town. Before something happens to you.” His gaze kept sweeping to and fro, and she wondered what he was watching for.

  His nervousness made her wary. “Why would something happen to me?”

  “You think Simon’s going to let you come out of this alive? He’s using you.” Eyes shades darker than his brother’s finally focused on her.

  “I know he wants me to inform on the task force. To let him know what they’re up to. He threatened me. I told him I’d do it. I don’t like it, but I’ll do it.”

  He gave a harsh laugh. “You think that’s all there is to it? He’s got the perfect setup. He keeps me in line by threatening to hurt you. He keeps you in line by threatening to hurt your old man. Once he’s dealt with the cops, you’re done. He’s going to kill your old man, and he’s going to kill you.”

  “Why would he do that? My dad has Alzheimer’s. He’s not a threat. And I’m doing what he asked of me. In fact, you can tell him the task force is going to raid a stash house on South Dearborn tonight.”

  “Do you think that’s all this is about? It doesn’t
matter that your dad’s mind is shot. It’s payback. Your dad sent me to prison, so he has to be punished. You, you’re even more important because, in Simon’s mind, you’re what set me on the path away from the family business, made me want something other than a place in a drug smuggling operation. He can’t forgive you for that.” He paused, and Rane felt like a dark cloud had crossed over the sun, dampening her mood. “He’s been planning this for a long time.”

  “Then you’re in danger, too, aren’t you? By coming here and telling me all this, you’re putting yourself in danger. Simon would see this as your lack of loyalty to the family, to him.”

  “I can handle Simon. I’m serious, Rane. Get your dad, and get out of town. I can give you some money if you need it. I’ll come for you when all this ends, and we can be together. Simon will bring down the task force; he’s got a plan. I’ll deal with him. But to do that, I need you out of the way, to know you’re safe.”

  She looked at the restless expression on the face of the man she’d once cared for and spoke carefully. “Kyle, you know we can’t be together again. You should leave. Get out of Seattle before you get sucked back into the business. You could find somewhere to live away from here. Go to a junior college, work toward a degree. Make a new life for yourself.”

  He was already shaking his head. “I can’t right now. Maybe later, but not now. I’ve got to deal with some things first.” His expression turned bleak. “This is my life. And it’s my fault you were dragged into it. I was naïve to have thought I could have a normal life with you back then. But I’m older now, smarter. I can get us out of this.”

  “We were young, Kyle. It was as much my fault as yours. And my dad’s choice made the situation worse.” She swallowed. “I’m sorry for that. I know that doesn’t do a thing to erase the time you spent in prison, but I’m sorry for what my dad did. ”