Defy Not the Heart

by Johanna Lindsey

  It was the stirrings of the camp that had woken her, and stepping outside the tent, she saw there was activity everywhere as nigh a hundred men broke their fast and prepared for another day's march. She found some bushes to relieve herself whilst no one was paying attention, and when she returned, Lanzo approached her with a cup of ale and a chunk of day-old bread.

  She thanked the boy but offered him no smile, and he quickly retreated. He might be learning skillful arms under Ranulfs tutelage, but knightly courtesies were sadly lacking. It would do no harm for either squire to think she was still displeased with him for his part in her abduction. Both must become aware that the arts of warfare were not all that made a knight. The social skills and graces must be learned, as well as the courtesies due a lady, especially the treatment of a lady at all times. Those courtesies were due even during an abduction, but they had not been accorded her.

  She was approached again, this time by Ranulfs fickle cat, who once again rubbed up against Reina's legs. "So, 'tis to be that way, is it?" Reina frowned down at the animal. "Think you I am not wise to your ploys?"

  She got a meow in answer; then the creature bounded off toward Lanzo, who had just set down a tin of scraps for it. Reina shook her head, not sure whether she wanted to play silly games with a cat. She supposed she might have to, if her husband in­tended to bring the animal home with them.

  She then heard rumblings from the tent and re­turned to it. Ranulf squinted up at her as she opened the flap, letting in the bright sunshine of a beautiful spring morn.

  "Where is Lady Ella?" he asked in a grouchy tone.

  Reina stiffened. "I was not aware there was an­other lady in camp."

  "My cat," he clarified.

  "Oh," Reina said dumbly, then, "You named your cat Lady Ella?"

  Reina was treated to the first really pleasant ex­pression she had seen on her husband. Whether it could actually be termed a smile, she was not sure, but 'twas devastating to behold.

  "Her namesake is the cleverest cat I know," he continued. "So it suited."

  She now had to wonder who this namesake Ella was, but she was not about to ask him. He obviously did not think highly of her.

  "Your Ella-"

  "Lady Ella-"

  "Lady Ella is breaking her fast," Reina gritted out. She was insulted to give that scrawny creature a title, her title, but was not ready to have her first argument with her new husband. "Do you wish me to summon your squire so you may—''

  "Not yet."

  He sat up as he interrupted her, so that the blanket fell to his lap. Reina looked away. That wide expanse of golden chest was like a magnet for her eyes, but she staunchly resisted the pull.

  "Take off your clothes."

  Her eyes flew back to him, wide in disbelief. "I did not hear you aright."

  "Aye, you did." His tone was mellow for all its deepness. "I wish to know if I was dreaming last eventide, if I really did bed you."

  "You have only to look beside you at the sheets to see that you did indeed bed me."

  He did, and swore at the size of the bloodstain there. "Christ's toes, have I killed you?"

  "Hardly," Reina replied, bringing those violet eyes back to her. "Do I look dead?"

  That brought a frown. "What you look like is the lady I wed. What I want to know is if I dreamed what you look like beneath those clothes. Do you get them off and right quickly, or I will—"

  "Stay where you are!" she ordered in her most au­thoritative voice when he threw back the blanket. It was an effort to keep her eyes on his face, but she managed. "Before you get more silly with this notion of yours, recall what must be done today. If we do not ride, and soon, leaving the foot soldiers to follow at their own pace, we will not reach Clydon while 'tis still light enough for me to be easily recognized. I will have enough trouble explaining to Lord Simon, who is like to be there, why I wed the very man who made off with me. I do not also want trouble getting into my own castle just because you chose to dally this morn and we do not arrive before dark."

  He said nothing for several long moments, just stared at her. Then he finally shrugged. "Very well, I suppose it can wait until this eventide."

  That is what he thinks, Reina said to herself as she escaped the tent with relief. She had every intention of doing as she had originally planned and sleeping in her own chamber until the second wedding. Until Sir Henry came and accepted Ranulf s fealty to Shef-ford, she did not consider herself truly wed, bedding or not.

  As it happened, Reina changed her mind about what she would tell Simon Fitz Osbern and her other vassals. She told Ranulf her reasons as she rode be­fore him on his huge destrier, denied her own horse because he did not trust her yet. He wanted her within reach in case she tried turning her people against him. And since he would be returning to Clydon with only his men who were mounted, she did not try to con­vince him his fears were groundless. He would have to see for himself that she was now committed to their marriage and had no plans for doing away with him.

  But as for her vassals, she made Ranulf see that it would be easier to convince them that marriage to him was what she wanted if they thought it had not been done yet. To say she had willingly married him so quickly would be to cast doubt on her willingness with the deed done and too late to rectify. She wanted her vassals to accept him without reservation, and they were more apt to do that if she informed them Ranulf was the man she wanted to marry, then proceeded to do so.

  He agreed, if grudgingly, but of course to his way of thinking, he had the copies of the marriage con­tract to produce if she had tried anything under­handed. He had to tell his men, all of whom knew she had spent the night in his tent, but they none of them objected to pretending the wedding had not yet taken place.

  Reina hoped she had every probability covered, but she could not be sure. It was not easy to think clearly with those thick, hard arms on either side of her, and then, too, she was still shaken and confused from the morning's incident.

  She could not reason why it would now matter to her husband what she looked like naked. It was not as if he still had the option to repudiate her if he found her body unacceptable. That chance was lost when he took her maidenhead. So why embarrass her by mak­ing her disrobe? Did he like what he had seen? Was he appalled? Did he just want verification, or did he feel annoyed that he simply could not remember?

  That he was not sure if he had dreamed his taking of her or not was annoying to her, as well as insult­ing. It might not have been pleasant to her, but she would like to feel she had shared the experience. Ob­viously she had not. If she had known Ranulf was so sotted with drink he knew not what he was doing, mayhap she could have put him off—or mayhap not. Yet 'twas done, too late to speculate over. All she could do was brood about it, and make sure he was not drunk the next time.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Ranulf remained silent throughout the numerous ef­fusive welcomes his wife was receiving, all cut short as soon as it was noticed who held her. He did not like leaving so many dumbstruck people behind him as they advanced through one gatehouse, then the other, cutting off his retreat, but it could not be helped. He did not actually grow uneasy until they had reached the inner court, where more than a hun­dred men-at-arms waited, and at least fifteen knights, some merely wearing swords, some fully armored, some still hurrying down the stairs of the keep, all obviously only just warned the lady had returned.

  "Be easy, my lord," Reina said quietly to him when he halted his destrier to face this small army. " 'Tis merely two of my vassals with their knights and men. I told you I had sent for Lord Simon, telling him about the attack. He no doubt picked up Sir John on his way here."

  "John, your hoped-for betrothed?"

  "Nay, my vassal, John Radford. He is a man set in his ways, inflexible even, so his first impression of you is the one he will adhere to. Three knights are his, and twenty of the soldiers. The rest are Simon's men, though I see Sir Meyer has returned. He is the household knight I sent to assist my b
ailiff. He and Sir Arnulph have been with us nigh on four years now. Both have given excellent service, but as they are retainers, 'twill be your decision if their terms are to be renewed or not."

  "You want no say in that?"

  "It would be nice did you ask my opinion on any­thing you are not sure of," she replied, "but nay, the final decision is henceforth yours."

  "And is that your Lord Simon stomping toward us with his hand on his sword?"

  Reina flinched at his suddenly aggressive tone. "Aye, but do you let me handle this. "I would help if you set me down and took your hands off me so they do not think I am still your prisoner."

  "Is that an order, lady?"

  "I would not presume to order you, my lord."

  "Oho," he grunted. "Like you did not do this morn in my tent?"

  She blushed at that reminder, just in time for Si­mon to see, which did not help at all. But Ranulf did dismount and lift her down in front of him. And he did keep his hands off her, though 'twould be no hard thing to change that with as close as he stood behind her.

  "Lady Reina, you are not hurt?" Simon asked im­mediately he reached her.

  "Not in the least," she replied with a smile. "If you must know, Simon, 'twas a high adventure I quite enjoyed."

  Ranulf at that point met the man's blue eyes, which were not unfriendly yet, though not easy either. He was a man of middle years, robust of health and frame, but only of medium height, which meant he had to look up to Ranulf, far up, a fact no man of rank liked.

  Since he was studying Ranulf, Reina quickly introduced them. "Let me make known to you Sir Ranulf Fitz Hugh. Sir Ranulf, my liege man, Lord Simon Fitz Osbern."

  "But is he not the man who—"

  She cut him off swiftly with the assurance, "That was all a mistake, Simon. He did not take me for himself but for a Lord Rothwell, who had lied to him, claiming I was his betrothed and had refused to wed him. Naturally, as soon as I informed Sir Ranulf that I had never even heard of this Rothwell, he was honor-bound to bring me home. 'Twas no fault of his that he was misled by a craven lord who thought to have me at any cost. Rothwell is no different than de Rochefort, and I am glad you answered my summons so quickly, for we need to discuss what to do about my presumptuous neighbor, though I am inclined to let the matter be with my wedding pending—which we also need to discuss." When his eyes returned suspiciously to Ranulf, she added, "When did you arrive?"

  "This morn, to be given that letter that was left behind," Simon replied surlily.

  "Oh, that," she said with a forced grin. "Come now, Simon, admit 'twas cleverly done and it worked, but not a word of it was true. Look at him. Does he look like a man who would kill a defenseless woman just to avoid a little skirmish? I would have been per­fectly safe had you followed, though 'tis well you did not, for de Rochefort is likely watching Clydon for another opportunity, and 'tis not likely he knew I was absent, leaving after matins as we did. I cannot tell you how much I had worried over that, and how it eased my mind, hoping you were here to defend against another attack."

  He took her soothing and pacifying words as they were intended, relieving his guilt that he had done naught to get her back, and praising him for do­ing naught to get her back.

  ' 'Come, John, Meyer." She beckoned the other two knights forward. "I would have you meet the man who has given up a fortune just on a lady's word. This is Ranulf Fitz Hugh." And to Simon: "He did not have to believe me, you know. 'Twas only my word against everything Lord Rothwell had told him." She had to grin at that point, knowing without looking at him that Ranulf would not like what he was hearing, that doubt was rearing up in his mind as he wondered if she was the one who had lied. Mischievously, she waited a long moment before adding, "I am sure con­firmation at this point would not be amiss. Do one of you gentlemen relieve Sir Ranulfs mind. Am I, or was I ever, betrothed to a Lord Rothwell?"

  There were three ready "Nays" to that, but it was John Radford, even older than Simon, who added gruffly, "She is to wed John de Lascelles, if the boy can ever find his way back to Clydon, which is be­come doubtful."

  "Do not be cruel," Reina admonished gently. "Lord John has had his troubles, which have kept him from coming sooner. But as to wedding him, I have had a change of heart. Do you all come inside and we will discuss it over supper, but I really must let my ladies know I have returned safely, and see that my servants have not grown lax in my absence. Si­mon, do you assume my honor and introduce your men to my guests and make them welcome for me." At last she turned to Ranulf. "I will join you in the hall anon," and then with a grin: "You may be sure my 'soon' is sooner than yours, my lord."

  She knew he hated to let her out of his sight, but there was naught he could do as she rushed up the stairs and into the keep. He was left standing amidst her men, and with the lady gone, the other knights converged on him. But he need not have worried. Her having informed Lord Simon that he and his men were guests and welcome was all that was necessary to assure there would be no antagonistic questioning. Simon did no more than she had bidden him, intro­ducing the two groups of knights, then slowly leading the way into the keep, talking about anything and everything except the lady's abduction.

  Chapter Eighteen

  cTheo! What means this?"

  "Reina, thank God!"

  Entering her chamber and finding the boy trussed up in the corner was not at all what she had expected. "Do you tell me you have been like this since I left?" she asked incredulously.

  "Nay, Wenda found me yestermorn and untied me. We took the letter left here to Sir William, still bedfast but no longer delirious. But when he read the letter aloud, I—I was so afraid for you I meant to go after you. Sir William refused, but Aubert, that scurrilous cur, caught me trying to go anyway last eventide and ordered this. I will kill him when I get my hands on him," Theo vowed.

  "Nay, you certainly will not," Reina said sternly, but failed to keep a grin from appearing as she began to untie him. "You silly boy, what did you think you could do? Do I look as if I suffered from my little adventure? I was in no real danger, which you should have realized. I am too valuable to kill until after I am wed."

  "How could I know that when 'twas him who took you?" he demanded.

  "Well, as to that, he is not so terrible after all. He brought me back, did he not?"

  "Aye, but wed to him," Theo groaned.

  "How did you know that?" 151

  The boy's eyes turned into perfect circles. "I was but jesting!"

  "But I am not."

  "Reina!" he cried. "How could you? You know how I felt about him!"

  "Are you jealous, my dear?"

  "Well—no, I guess not," he admitted thoughtfully. "If I cannot have him, you might as well. But him, Reina? Were you given no choice?"

  "Not much, but if anyone had to be browbeaten into marriage, 'twas he," she said matter-of-factly. "I was not taken for him, you see, but for an old lord who hired him. He was not easy to convince he should have me instead."

  "You mean you wanted him?"

  " 'Twas either him or the old lord." This needed no further explanation. "Now help me change and quickly. I cannot leave him alone for long with my vassals."

  "What did they say about this sudden marriage?"

  "They do not know, nor are they to know, so you do not tell anyone what I have told you, not even Wenda. There would have to be a second wedding for their benefit anyway, so I mean to let them think the second is the first. I will tell them Ranulf has agreed to wed me and 'tis he I want. That way, they will not harbor doubts about why I wed him, thinking I was somehow forced to it even though I would say not. That could only lead to distrust of him, which I do not want."

  "But if you would like to get rid of him, Reina, now is the time, ere you tell Lord Simon you want the giant."

  "But I do want him, Theo. I have thought it through and he is actually the better man for Clydon. John and Richard could neither of them devote them­selves exclusively to Clydon, but Ranulf Fitz Hugh will. H
e has no land of his own, no family he will claim, no other obligations to take him away from protecting us. And he is not poor. He will see to all that needs doing, that I have been unable to do."

  "So Clydon will love him, but what about you?"

  Reina looked away. "Once he set his mind to do it, he made sure it could not be undone. Whether I regret my decision remains to be seen."

  "How was it?" Theo grinned now.

  She knew what he referred to, and gave him a glare for daring to ask. "None of your business."

  "Come on, Reina," he wheedled, his grin widen­ing. "Tell me what I missed."

  "If you must know, 'twas rough and quick."

  "Oh, now I am jealous." He sighed.

  "Lackwit," she snorted derisively. "It takes me longer to piss, so you cannot tell me you like it that quick. Now stop teasing me or you will find your ears boxed."

  Reina had wanted to wear her best for this impor­tant conference with Simon and John, but Theo pointed out she would need her best for the wedding, so she settled on her second best, a crimson velvet bliaut with loose bell-shaped sleeves that were shorter in the front to reveal the closely fitted long sleeves of her undertunic, a bright yellow chemise, revealed also beneath the deep V of the bliaut's neckline and at the sides where the gown was left open up to her thighs. Her girdle was golden links that hooked just below her waist to hang down to her knees.

  And for this occasion, Theo talked her into wearing her hair plaited over her shoulders, the braids wrapped tightly with yellow ribbon, the short white headdress covering little. Reina felt the braids made her look younger, which she did not want just now, but Theo disagreed, swearing she had never looked lovelier. Vanity won out, something she did not succumb to often. Theo made sure she realized it, claiming that since her vassals knew her well and would not be affected one way or the other by how she looked, she was in truth dressing only for her new husband, which was natural and as it should be.