The Tenets in the Tattoos (The King's Swordsman Book 1)

by Becky James

I searched his face for his thoughts. His breathing had become irregular, but then I saw him call calm into himself, just as I had guided him.

  “Yes, please. But probably just the arm. Here?” He pointed to his left bicep.

  “Just one arm?” groused the Lorekeeper. “What use will that be if they cut you into pieces?”

  “Just one arm is fine,” I said quickly. “Also, I need to change the design slightly. This element here.” The man studied it and nodded. “Alright, Lorekeeper. Begin your work.”

  The man muttered, but he took his craft seriously. Alt-Thorrn took off his shirt, and I passed him a sleeveless shirt to help him feel more comfortable; I had a feeling that he wouldn’t want to expose his back to the Lorekeeper, just as multiple tattoos were intimidating if they were not part of your culture. The Lorekeeper lit the wicks of the special candles to burn down and get the ash. I said the koans with him, the special wishes and wants for our men and women, those who were willing to lay down their lives for others. When he started the needlework, alt-Thorrn smiled.

  Once it was finished, we thanked the Lorekeeper and left him to enter the work into the records. “That will need air and time to heal,” I told my alt. “It will also sting and scab. Do not pick it.”

  “Wait until Evyn sees this. She is going to go through the roof.” He kept turning his arm so he could see it.

  I tried to catch his eye. “I hope that’s a good thing.”

  “This was a good thing. Thank you.” His brown eyes flicked up to mine, then away.

  “No, thank you. You deserve it. The dates are a bit wrong, obviously, but no one knows that on your world. And now, I need a favour from you.”

  “Of course.”

  I stared straight ahead. “We need to get you some bruswurt for that tattoo. It’ll help bring it out.”

  He frowned, and then his eyebrows raised as understanding dawned.

  We made our way to the Academy entrance. A small plaque to my father had been placed at the gates to the castle grounds. I touched my father’s name as I passed it.

  People took two looks at us; two identical king’s men, like a pair of twins. There were some differences. The Evyns could tell us apart without even looking, but Aleric said that my face was smoother, his was more worn. Istadella told me my eyes were brighter while his had seen more. His smile was slower in coming but just as big as mine. My wits in conversation were sharper and my education more evident when I spoke, but his words came directly unvarnished from the heart.

  I’d need that in this next battle.

  I led him down to the shop in the depths of the Academy. The light peeked reedy and small through windows covered in grime. The door was shut tight even though the sign was turned to “Open”, and I had to pull it with some force from its crooked jam.

  My quarry stood in the centre of the shop, papers arrayed in a jumble front of him. He gathered them up, crumpling them together in haste. “One moment, good sirs,” he murmured, turning to welcome us with an emotionless face.

  It quickly turned to one of grey horror. He swallowed, putting a hand to his belt where I would put a knife, fists opening and closing reflexively. “You.”

  “Well met, Aubin.” I moved around the shop to give him breathing room. Although we had defeated Waker, I still didn’t know how much he was working through the nightmares he had had. He hadn’t come to see us, and we had not gone to see him, until today. “How have you been?”

  His jaw worked, then he cleared his throat. “What… can I help you with?”

  “Oh, this and that. We would have come earlier but… I suppose I wanted you to get your life in order.”

  “That’s … considerate.” He watched alt-Thorrn, who turned on a slow exploration of the other side of the shop for the same reason I had. Aubin’s heartrate leapt in his throat. I frowned. Had I misjudged the timing?

  “What does this one do?” I asked him, pointing to a powder. Perhaps taking his mind toward his craft and away from any disturbing memories shifted by our sudden appearance would help.

  He looked over. “Eases pain. Taken in high doses, it will shut down a person’s liver.” Aubin looked into my eyes. “I’ve thought about it. The only thing holding me back is Tuniel. But if you wanted to settle a balance, that’s a clean way to do it. Painful, but clean.”

  I frowned at Aubin, alt-Thorrn’s eyes widening behind his shoulder. Suddenly it dawned on me. “Oh, no. No! We’re not here to… Oh, no, this isn’t a … We’re not here to… Oh, Aubin.” I ran my hands through my hair. “We’re not here to hurt you. I’m sorry if this came across as some sort of hit.”

  Aubin stayed light on his feet, arms by his side. “No?”

  “No, not at all…” I searched for the words to say.

  “I’m here for some bruswurt,” alt-Thorrn interrupted. “I need it for this.” He showed Aubin the fresh tattoo.

  I grinned. I knew he would save the situation.

  Aubin glanced over at the design and then did a double take.

  “Here, look, I have one too.” I proffered my forearm. “It’s the original and the best, and also the biggest. Sorry, alt-Thorrn.” Aubin studied it. “Tell the other me what that plant is there,” I encouraged him.

  His wide eyes softened slightly, flicking up to meet mine. “It’s a rhomda plant.”

  “What does that do?” alt-Thorrn asked.

  “It assists with male personal problems,” Aubin explained automatically.

  “What? Why do we have that on our arms?” Alt-Thorrn demanded, suddenly loud.

  “It’s kind of important.” I took a step closer to Aubin.

  The man looked up at me, eyes narrowed. “Why are you here?”

  “I want to know how you are. Anyway, don’t worry, alt-Thorrn. I thought of you, I chose a different plant for you. Didn’t want to send you alone to your world with a plant like that on your arm. Aubin, take a look at his plant and tell me what it is.”

  Aubin shook his head slightly and moved over to alt-Thorrn. “That’s a basic freed. Common plant. Grows anywhere and everywhere.”

  “And it’s resilient and it does a lot of things and it’s really, really hard to kill. I looked it up. I did some research,” I said proudly.

  “You? Did research?” he said, and with that remark I knew I was getting somewhere.

  “I did. Opened a book and everything.”

  “Why are you two together like this? Isn’t this … odd?” Aubin shuddered.

  Glancing at alt-Thorrn, I said, “I like hanging out with him. I’m great company.”

  “Only you.” Aubin rolled his eyes.

  I smiled. “The Evyns get on well too. They mostly talk about books.”

  “I think it’s ordering books now,” alt-Thorrn murmured.

  “What, they need more books?”

  “No, I mean the order of books.”

  “That’s what I said.”

  Aubin lifted his hands as if to separate us. “No, you think he means the requisition of books, but he’s talking about the cataloguing and sorting of books.”

  “I knew you’d know what they were on about.” I grinned, waiting.

  Aubin stayed silent.

  Tapping the table, I gave in. “Are you going to ask me how she is?”

  He pulled his arms to his chest. “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “It’s not for me to know.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “I’m not… privileged. I shouldn’t be. I shouldn’t go anywhere near her or where I might risk seeing her. And I won’t, so don’t worry about that if you’re here to warn me off her.” He closed in again, his chest curving in and down.

  I leant against the table. “She asks Tuniel how you are.”

  “She does?” Putting his hands flat on the table next to me, he turned his face away. “I can’t… I don’t deserve… you shouldn’t be here.”

  “Hm.” Dust coated the shelves of the shop, the stock dry and aged. The pigeonholes at the
back were unkempt. It looked unloved.

  I straightened up. “Did you hear what I did to Gavain?”

  His shoulders twitched. “Yes.”

  “And what do you think?”

  “Honestly?” He shot a sideways glare at me. “That you don’t learn.”

  I laughed. “Why is that?”

  He threw up his hands. “He’s back in Special Forces, demoted from sergeant but still one of you, training, taking assignments, guarding the king. He stands guard outside the door that Ev…” Breaking off from saying her name, he composed himself. “How stupid can you be?”

  “But I do learn. I know what sort of man he is now. He does what he needs to do to survive.” I shrugged. “There’s nothing wrong with that. He followed his orders. But he also saved Aleric. He’s opportunistic, there’s no denying that. I’ve learnt from that.” Smiling at Aubin, I said, “You saw the truth in what sort of person he was from the details you saw. It took me a whole other experience, but now that I know what sort of person he is, I can manage him.

  “And yes, he’s back, but I’ve changed towards him. Our relationship is forever altered. I treat him as I would another man I am stationed next to but not friendly with. I don’t train with him anymore. I need to train with someone else who can take my heavy hits and can hit harder, so I can practise. Someone with bigger shoulders than me.”

  Alt-Thorrn rumbled, “Those were heavy hits?”

  I chuckled. “Ah, see, learning more and more from me every day.”

  Aubin cracked a small smile. It quickly died on his face, so I pushed on. “What else do you think that means about me?”

  He cocked his head. “You want to keep a close track of him.”

  “Well, that sounds strategic, so I’ll pretend that was it. But there’s one other thing. Alt-Thorrn? Any ideas?”

  “That you believe in giving people second chances,” my alt said.

  I knew he would be great for this. I grinned at my alt. “Couldn’t have put it better myself. Uncoached too, he just knows me that well.”

  Aubin closed his eyes. “You’re … what? Offering me another chance?”

  “There are a few things on the balance sheet here. I want to clear them.” I moved to one knee next to the table. Aubin took a step back, jaw tight. “Aubin Tabreksson, I need to thank you. Thank you for taking that contract. You saved my life. You saved all the alts’ lives. You saved Queen Ellesmere and her soul Gadamere.”

  I took a deep breath, gauging his reaction. “And I will be forever sorry. It was my duty to take that opportunity when it came. You took it for me, and I will be forever in your debt.”

  Aubin’s hand gripped the table.

  As I stood, I said, “At the same time, you weren’t yourself, but you hurt my soul. You know a lot about ways to hurt people. I know a lot of ways to hurt people but I have my code to adhere to. I’d sooner break my neck than break my code. And I’m not sure what I would have done if I had been as tortured and bent and broken as Waker made you in the short few days she had you.”

  Aubin frowned. “So, what are you saying? What does that add up to for you?”

  “I’m saying … that love doesn’t keep a balance sheet.”

  He grimaced. “There are so many things wrong with that.” Holding up his hand he bent his fingers back savagely as he counted. “Number one, I hurt her. Number two, for no real reason—”

  “It was real for you.”

  “But in the end, it was not real. To you, to her, it would have come from nowhere and for no reason. Number three, she should hate me for that. I’m surprised she doesn’t and that makes it worse. No one should be in a relationship with someone who hurts them.”

  I thought about men like Dan. “Those people need to hurt others to feel something. You hurt us to save someone.”

  “There is no excuse,” he spat. “Number four, I had a dream. It was pure fantasy but it was perfect. Nothing can ever live up to that. I don’t want to constantly compare Evyn to a dream. No one measures up to a dream.” He scrunched his hands into fists and thrust them under his armpits.

  My chest felt tight. “I know. Oh, don’t I know. And you saw what happened when I rejected reality and rejected her, to start.” I cleared my throat. “But then I came around to it. And you know what? It’s better than a fantasy. Harder. More painful, at the start there, but better in ways I could never have imagined.”

  I touched his shoulder, heartened when he did not shrug me off immediately. “Evyn once told me I could take what I needed from a relationship and keep that, regardless of how the relationship ended. I could keep the good memories and the warmth that belongs to the time and place that they were made.

  “I took a lot from you, Aubin. How you met Evyn and talked to her like she was a person when all around her saw her as different, me included. How you saw what happened to her in the hot springs, saw her up in that tower, saw the collar around her neck, knew that was going to be her life, and decided to get her out of it. How you immediately fitted in on Earth. How you focused on helping me rather than lording it over me when I was hurt. And how you gave yourself up willingly to save all our lives. So regardless of how this ends, I’ll have all that, and I want you to know I’ll take that with me and cherish it. But I don’t want it to end. I know there’s more. I know we have more adventures together.” I nodded at alt-Thorrn.

  Aubin had gone very still. “You don’t owe me,” he whispered.

  “Love isn’t about who owes whom. Love just is, Aubin. It’s out there if you want it.” He stayed hunched, his shoulders slumped, and I squeezed my hand to bolster him. “You’re worthy of love.” I had to be careful now. “Not necessarily with Evyn, of course. But in general.” Gentle.

  “How is she?” he asked in a small voice.

  I had to choose what I said. “She’s well. She’s getting on with Gerlay, the brother to the current King of Dinahe.”

  He stiffened. “Good for her.”

  “It’s a good strategic match if it goes really well,” I added.

  “You don’t have to rub it in, sir,” he snapped.

  I grinned. That sounded more like Aubin. I wanted him to fight for it, to go for it if he wanted it. I wanted him to step up rather than suggest anything was going to be handed to him.

  “You know, whenever I talked to you, I always came away thinking I’d lost that conversation somehow. Like we were in a battle I wasn’t aware of, and I was losing badly.”

  “Yes, well, it was child’s play to run circles around Special Forces goons,” Aubin muttered.

  “That… reminds me. Um. I also wanted to apologise.”

  “For what?” Running a finger through the dust on the table, he glared at it.

  “Special Forces, we … I used to ridicule you behind your back.” My cheeks heated. “Even though you helped us.”

  He tutted. “I was paid to help you, Thorrn, ridicule or not.”

  “I always wanted to say it. So here I am. Saying it. I’m sorry.”

  A pale, thin smile traced across his lips. “Thorrn, you’ve already apologised dozens of times. Any time you were delirious with fever you’d spill everything and babble apologies.” Aubin shook his head. “I used to feed you ideas of what to call me next. They never took, but it was a fun experiment.”

  “Well… I didn’t know that.”

  “I did. And… it meant something. So thank you.”

  Straightening up, clearing my throat, I said, “Yes. I just want you to know that.” I pulled my hand back. “Of course, I’ll see you through Tuniel.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “She’s the MasterMage. Not only supremely busy with everything that involves, and confirming that Waker was working alone, but anyone close to her is a target.”

  “Oh yes, she’s given me the speech. Can’t be seen to have anything to do with me. Secret trysts. Stolen kisses. All very exciting, Aubin. I have had to scale the castle sides a good few times when she’s visited. She can’t wait to get hold of me when my
body is pumped and sweaty from all that work.” Both Aubin and alt-Thorrn looked slightly disgusted. “Don’t worry. I’m careful with her heart. Besides, she has her literal claws in me.” I pulled down my collar to expose the metal embedded in my shoulder. “I can deploy it with a word that triggers the magic Tuniel stored in it, but I need to go to her to take it off again.”

  “You are so brazen,” Aubin tutted.

  I grinned at him and nearly slapped him on the back as I would have Gavain or Aleric. Instead, I placed my hand flat on the table between us. “Coming to Midsummer? It’s open to the public this year. King Gough has it taking over the courtyard, the King’s Basin, the main hall, and sprawling into the grounds. It’s huge. It’s going to be amazing.”

  He smoothed his jerkin, fingers running lightly over the pockets. “I might make an appearance.”

  “Capital. Come find us.” I saluted him. “Thank you again.”

  “Don’t mention it. And here’s the bruswurt.” Aubin pulled out a duster as my alt and I left, starting to work on putting his shop back to rights.

  Once we had gotten several streets from the building, alt-Thorrn downed the concoction Aubin had given him, grimacing at the taste. “Yuck. Why did you mention Gerlay?”

  I smiled at a passer-by, trying to make an effort to look friendly rather than on edge in the echoing vaults of the Academy. She flushed and waved. Saluting, I walked on. “Because it’s true. If Evyn is finding her feet with someone else, I want him to hear it from me and in private, rather than expect the situation to be a certain way and have that be whipped out from under him. Having your heart shattered publicly once is enough in any timeline.” I sighed. “I’ve done what I can. It was essential you were there. Thank you.”

  “I didn’t do anything.”

  “You were yourself. That’s all I needed.”

  We walked back up to the castle grounds and into the last ebbs of sunset. “Looks like preparations are nearly complete. I’m heading off to make myself even more gorgeous.” Alt-Thorrn shook his head at me as we parted ways. He preferred the private baths for obvious reasons. “Don’t get that tattoo wet!” I called after him.

  Washing quickly, I headed back to the barracks to change into my freshly pressed uniform, wondering where Evyn was. I didn’t want to Call her and send her running. We had agreed a time and place to meet if we didn’t run into each other before then – “Nineties style,” she called the arrangement – so I had that to fall back on. It never took me long to get ready and look my best, so I spent a few minutes cleaning my father’s sword before buckling it around my hips.