Following the Sparrows

by Karen Malley

  She threw on yoga pants and an old T-shirt and decided to take a walk. The humidity had broken, and the sky was cloudless. The rain washed the world clean. The birds chattered away in the trees lining the sidewalk. The sun was already strong, but a slight nip in the air showed the summer days coming to a close.

  She turned toward town and stopped at the corner coffee shop for breakfast. She paid for her coffee and blueberry muffin and sat at one of the little wrought iron tables. She breathed in the aroma of coffee and pastries while she gazed out the side window. A minute later a voice startled her.

  “Mind if I join you, Kathryn Baker?” The man who helped her with her tire. Adam... Adam something. Uggh. Why did he seem to show up everywhere?

  “No, I don’t think so. I’m not staying long.”

  He glanced at her untouched muffin, eyebrows raised. “Not even to eat the muffin you bought?” He pulled up a chair and plopped down with his own cup of coffee. “Don’t worry, I only have a few minutes.”

  Kathryn opened her mouth to object again but closed it. What would a few minutes hurt? He’d changed her tire, after all. She could at least be polite.

  Her gaze traveled over him. In their first couple of meetings, she hadn’t given him more than a glance, and she was so frustrated while he was changing her tire, she hardly looked at him at all. His crisp white shirt enhanced the tan of his skin. His deep brown eyes held a twinkle. His hair curled over his ears, and she resisted an impulse to push it back, away from his face. Where did that thought come from?

  She mentally assessed herself. She hadn’t yet showered, and she was wearing a faded college shirt. How was it this man always met her at her worst? She absentmindedly pushed back a strand of hair that escaped from her ponytail.

  “Did you get your tire fixed?” Adam asked.

  “Yes. They couldn’t patch the old one, so I’ve got a new matching set.” she said. “Thanks again for your help. Why do I keep seeing you everywhere? Are you following me around or something?”

  Adam chuckled. “I moved here in the spring. It’s not that big of a town. Either that, or I have incredible luck in finding you.” He sipped his coffee. “Have you lived here long?”

  “We moved here three years ago, when I got my job at M. K. Pharmaceuticals. Before that I was in college and grad school out of state, but I grew up near here.”

  “We? Are you married?” Adam asked.

  Kathryn caught him glance at her hand. She lowered her eyes. “No, I’m not married.” Her ring sat in a jewelry box at home. Robert hated she never wore it, but with wearing gloves all the time at work, it wasn’t practical. Thankfully, Adam changed the subject.

  “So, you work at M. K.? What do you do there?” Adam asked.

  “I’m a chemist. I’m working on such an important project. We’re designing new drugs that work for pain without causing addiction or a high.” Kathryn’s eyes lit up. “Can you imagine? People can get the help they need with their pain, but there wouldn’t be any risk of getting addicted. Even more importantly, there wouldn’t be any reason for people to take them illegally, because they can’t get high from them.”

  “Wow. It sounds like it’s not just a job to you. More like a mission.”

  Kathryn stilled. Had she said too much? There was nothing but sincerity in his eyes. “It’s important to me.”

  “No, I get it. That’s cool. Everyone should be able to do something that is important to them. Speaking of which…” He glanced at his watch. Jumping from his seat, he offered an apology. “I'm sorry, Kathryn. I need to leave. I’m late for church. I’d love to chat with you some more. Maybe we could meet for coffee again?” Kathryn’s good mood evaporated. “I’m sure I’ll run into you again.” She grabbed her cup and walked past him out the door, shaking her head. Was she the only one not going to church these days?

  ~*~

  Adam hurried in the other direction, glancing backward at Kathryn’s retreating figure. He slipped into the back row at Faith Community Church as the opening worship songs were ending. He fought to pay attention to the pastor, but his thoughts were busy analyzing the conversation with Kathryn, trying to figure out what went wrong.

  She seemed open to talk about her job, but when he mentioned church… His heart sank. Was that it? Was it God she wasn’t open to? If that was the case, he knew what to be praying for. God didn’t want him to be in a relationship with Kathryn, God wanted Kathryn to be in a relationship with Himself. That was just as well. He wasn’t ready to get in a relationship yet, anyway. Or maybe ever.

  He shifted focus back to the dynamic young pastor. Adam tried a few different churches since moving to the area, but once he visited Faith Community, it was clear that was where God wanted him. It was a small church, but exactly what he needed.

  After the service ended, Adam greeted Pastor Mark and complimented him on his message. “You managed to keep my wandering thoughts at bay. That took some doing this morning,”

  Mark smiled. “Daydreaming can be an effective tool for figuring out what is important to a man, although church isn’t the place for it.” He clapped Adam on the shoulder. “Hey, I’ve been meaning to talk to you anyway. Seems you’re making yourself at home here at Faith Community. My wife and I run a small group Bible study in our home Friday nights. We’d love for you to join us. You can meet some more members of the congregation.

  “We’re starting a study of the book of Matthew. There are seven of us right now: Steve and Monica Carson, Julie Wagner, Derek Lin, Susan Montgomery, and my wife Anne and me. It’s a mix of singles and couples,” Mark said.

  A spark of hope ignited in Adam. “Sure, sounds great.”

  “Great. We start at 8:00 PM after we put the kids to bed. See you Friday.” Mark scribbled his address and phone number on Adam’s bulletin and turned to greet the other church members who wanted his attention.

  Adam walked out of the church, reflecting on his morning. First another interesting meeting with Kathryn, and now he would get a chance to get acquainted with some other Christians in the area a little better. Not a bad way to start the week.

  9

  Kathryn pounded the alarm clock to stop its rude interruption of her sleep. Monday morning. Another long week of work. She sat up, her brow wrinkled. Why wasn’t Robert in the shower yet? She fell back against the pillow, remembering. How long would it take before she wouldn’t be constantly looking for him? It had been three months now, and she still expected to see him sitting at the breakfast table smiling at her over his tablet, to hear him humming to himself as he corrected papers. How many nights had she rolled over, surprised his side of the bed was empty? That was the hardest. She sat on the edge of the bed, angry with herself for losing control now. How could a simple thing like waking in the morning trigger her grief?

  Even though her relationship with Robert wasn’t ideal, he was a good man. He’d been a part of her life for such a long time his absence was painful. Ever since the funeral she’d been living at work, even going in sometimes on Sundays. It wasn’t working for her. She still came home to the empty house every night. She was also getting sick of her job. It was time to make some changes. She picked up her phone and sent a text to her boss. She was taking a vacation day.

  After breakfast, Kathryn started the task ahead of her. She ran to the strip mall, begging for boxes at each of the stores. When she collected several, she went home and opened Robert’s closet door for the first time since he’d died. She went through every piece of clothing, checked all the pockets and stacked them into the boxes. She went through his dresser drawers, and, after tossing the socks and underwear into the trash, all the clothes Robert owned were ready to go. She carted the boxes to the car and moved on to the bookshelves in the office. She boxed all the sci-fi novels and the old college textbooks but paused when she reached the Christian books. She left those on the shelf.

  She moved on to the bottom shelves, where she found several old notebooks. Supposing them to be notes from college days, sh
e started to throw them away, but noticed the handwritten date on the cover of the top notebook. This was recent. These couldn’t be class notes. She opened the cover and read an entry dated a year ago.

  “God, thank you for the blessing of being an uncle. Those kids bring such joy into my life. Please, move in Katie’s heart. Draw her to you. Help her to want to share the blessing of children.”

  Kathryn took it like a punch in the gut. These were Robert’s journals. She couldn’t stand reading Robert’s prayers for her for all those years. Still, she was drawn…. She flipped to the notebook from their last year in California.

  “God, I’m losing Katie. She’s scared all the time. She won’t talk to me. Please, God. Protect her. Keep her safe. Help her to talk to me.”

  Kathryn closed the notebook and rubbed her temples. This was too much. She wanted to forget what happened there. Could she ever? She’d gone there thrilled to be going to grad school and working for Dr. McCullough, such a famous professor. She met Charlie, the lab manager, soon after. Dr. McCullough’s right-hand man. When he took an interest in her and involved her in his project…. No. I will not go back down that road.

  Kathryn squeezed her eyes shut and raked her fingers through her hair. Her head was pounding. She would never be free of those memories.

  Mark wanted her to find out if they were in danger.

  Ever since the day she looked for Charlie online, she’d tried to push the whole thing from her mind. It must’ve simply been someone who resembled Charlie the morning of the accident. Just a coincidence. Why would Charlie go after Robert now, three years later? He would’ve found someone else to help him with his dirty work after she left. Nothing since Robert’s death indicated Charlie was here or was trying to contact her. She shoved the journals back onto the shelf.

  She glanced over at Robert’s desk. Front and center was his well-worn Bible. Kathryn picked it up. This book was so important to Robert. Why? It was just an old book. Mark once said the Bible would speak to you if you were willing to listen. Something about it being a Living Word. She flipped it open at random and found a verse Robert underlined. Deuteronomy 31.8. “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

  Her father left her. Robert left her. Was God saying He wouldn’t? It must be a coincidence. She flipped to the next book and found another underlined section. Joshua 1:9. “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

  This was hitting a little too close to home. Kathryn was afraid. She was afraid of Charlie, but she was also afraid God was like her own father and would stop loving her if she wasn’t good enough. She flipped farther toward the back of the Bible.

  Matthew 28:20. “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

  Kathryn threw the Bible on the desk. Why did Robert underline those verses? Tears welled up in her eyes. His own father died of a heart attack when he was twelve. Maybe Robert struggled with some of the same things she did. Why was she realizing this now that he was gone? Now that he wasn’t here to explain it all to her? Why didn’t he tell her this before? Kathryn cursed at herself. It wasn’t Robert’s fault. He’d tried. Every time he ever mentioned God, she shut him out. She wasn’t ready to hear it. Maybe she still wasn’t ready.

  She took the Bible into the bedroom and placed it on her nightstand. The sight of it there comforted her, as if she wouldn’t be sleeping alone that night.

  Enough soul searching for one day. She’d leave Robert’s desk for another time.

  After dropping off Robert’s things at the thrift store, Kathryn smiled. Maybe they would be able to help someone that couldn’t afford nice clothes. She should try doing more things for others. Robert always did, but she never seemed to find the time.

  10

  As Kathryn made her way to the lab, footsteps approached.

  “Kathryn?”

  She stopped and turned to greet Sarah, one of the biologists on her project.

  “Hi Sarah, what’s up? Did you finish analyzing the cell data for last week’s batch of compounds?”

  “No, soon, though. I wanted to check on you. Roger said you took the day off yesterday. I was a little worried.”

  Kathryn sighed. “You’re right. It’s not like me to take time off, but it was needed.”

  “I’m glad you’re taking some time for you. Hey, would you like to go to lunch this week? It would be nice to talk.”

  “Thanks, but no. Too much to do. Tell me when you get that data.” Kathryn continued down the hall. She didn’t mean to be rude, but she didn’t want to spend a whole lunch hour trying to convince Sarah she was OK. She’d eat at her desk as she always did.

  ~*~

  Adam packed his tools. What a day. The language and crude jokes strained him. He cringed as he recalled the stories two of them were swapping about their weekend adventures. Mac especially seemed to have a problem with Adam.

  Adam never guessed he’d be dealing with a bully when he was in his thirties, but that was the best way to describe Mac. He started walking away from the job site, but Eddie caught up to him.

  “You OK, man?” Eddie asked. “Mac don’t mean nothing by what he says.”

  Adam gave Eddie a weak smile. “Thanks. I think it’s safe to say I’ll never really fit in here.”

  Eddie frowned. “You’re different from the rest of us. How did you end up here anyway?”

  “Got a recommendation from the boss’s nephew.”

  “The missionary one?”

  “Yep, that’s the one. I worked with him for two years in Africa.”

  Eddie’s eyes widened. “Are you a missionary?”

  Adam shrugged. “Right now, I’m a construction worker. Later, Eddie.”

  Was this really what God intended for him? Seemed like God was silent on that front. His life changed so much over the past two years. Those last few prayer meetings in Africa were powerful. Pastor Sambulo challenged him. Adam confided in him why he went to Africa in the first place. He remembered his pastor’s words as if it were yesterday.

  “Those who seek the Lord’s will for their lives will find peace. There is no other way. Running away from problems will not give you peace, even if you’re doing what you think is the Lord’s work. You must find His will for your life.”

  After some serious time on his knees, the Lord called him back to the United States. When one of his fellow missionaries told him his uncle had openings on his construction crew in Pennsylvania, he believed the Lord’s hand was in it. He’d learned extensive carpentry skills building the orphanage and some other small buildings while in Africa. He enjoyed the job, the satisfaction of working with his hands. That was one of the things he liked on the mission field. He was building something lasting. Of course, the more important part of the work was even longer lasting. Nothing was more important than winning souls for the kingdom.

  The first meeting with his new boss should’ve tipped him off as to how different this job would be.

  “My nephew tells me you’re a fair carpenter, with some skills in wiring and plumbing.”

  “Yes, sir,” Adam said.

  “My nephew is an honest man and I trust his judgment of people. The job’s yours if you want it, but if it gets back to the rest of the crew I hired a missionary, I’ll never hear the end of it. Lay off the religious talk. If you do your job and keep your mouth shut, this will work out well for the both of us.”

  Adam scowled, recalling the conversation. Still, God wanted him in Pine Springs, and the job was his ticket in, so he was trying his best to hold up his end of the bargain. He drove back to the apartment complex, dropped his lunch pail on the kitchen table, and headed for the shower. He paused before the mirror. The laugh lines around his eyes were becoming permanent. It was good to be able to laugh again. When he first left the country, he wasn’t laughing much.


  After showering and eating, Adam sat on the couch with his Bible. After his day at the job site, he needed some confirmation he was where he was meant to be. His thoughts drifted toward Kathryn. God clearly showed him he was to be praying for her. That was a good place to start.

  A couple of hours later, he checked his GPS and made sure he was heading in the right direction. When he bought the used truck, he didn’t expect to use it, but while the pastor and his wife lived fairly close by, he wasn’t familiar with all the neighborhoods in the area. It was amazing the technology he’d learned to take for granted in a few short months. What would the African people think of something like this? He missed the good-hearted people there, especially the children. He made a mental note to talk to Pastor Mark about getting involved with the children’s ministry at Faith Community.

  He soon found the small brick house with a well-kept patch of front lawn. He pulled onto the street behind a red sedan and knocked gently. The door opened, and Anne, the pastor’s wife, welcomed him in. “So glad you could join us, Adam. I think you’ll fit in well.”

  Adam thanked Anne as she showed him to a seat in the cozy living room.

  “It’s not spacious, but it allows all of us to get to know one another better,” Mark said.

  Besides Anne and Mark, there was an African American couple, an attractive young woman with curly red hair, and a thin Asian man near Adam’s age. A moment later, a petite woman with a bright smile entered. Introductions were made all around, and Mark opened with a word of prayer.

  Adam settled into his chair, already at home. He’d learned in Africa it didn’t matter how old you were or what nationality you were, as long as you had Jesus in common, you were family. The Bible study would be good for him.

  It was one thing to be in church on Sunday and soak in Mark’s sermons, but his insight on the group’s personal questions was remarkable. This was a place Adam could find some answers. At the end of the study, they went around with personal prayer requests.