Following the Sparrows

by Karen Malley

  Mrs. Frederick studied her. “I’m sorry about your husband, dear. To lose him so young is sad.” She patted Kathryn’s hand. “Tell me, dear, if your drug does help people and you do get that promotion, will you have all you’ve been searching for?”

  Kathryn struggled to answer.

  Mr. Frederick spoke, startling her. She thought he’d been sleeping.

  “Better title, more money, bigger office, none of it means anything. Trust me, I’ve been there. You work and you work, but all it means is you’re missing out on life as it is going by.”

  Mrs. Frederick walked over to him and took his hand. “Now, dear, don’t you worry. You figured it all out before it was too late.”

  “And nearly lost you and the kids in the process,” Mr. Frederick muttered.

  “Nonsense. I wasn’t going to leave you.” She turned back to Kathryn. “My Stanley here used to work like crazy, too. God stopped him in his tracks with a heart attack. He finally slowed down enough to listen to God and got his life back on track in the process. He was a new man after that.” Her sharp gaze held Kathryn’s. “Sometimes God allows things to happen to us for a reason. Don’t forget that, my dear.”

  Kathryn studied her hands. How to respond to that?

  Adam chose that moment to return to the apartment, camera in hand. They spent the next several minutes peering at the small screen as he provided a narrative of the beautiful people who shared his life the previous two years. His face was lit with passion. He loved these people. He wouldn’t be content as a construction worker for long. He kept saying God had a purpose for him. How could he fulfill it being stuck here building the new Pine Springs mall?

  Not wanting to keep the Fredericks up, Adam and Kathryn said their goodbyes before long.

  “Think about what I said, dear,” Mrs. Frederick whispered to Kathryn as they left.

  “What was that all about?” Adam questioned.

  “Just some girl talk.” Kathryn didn’t want to re-hash the conversation.

  “Let me drop off the camera, and I’ll drive you home.”

  “No, wait.” Kathryn reached out for the camera. “Would you mind if I borrowed it?” An idea came to mind. She quickly invented an excuse. “The camera on my phone has been on the fritz lately, and I’d love to take a picture of the Christmas tree.”

  “Sure, why not?” He handed her the camera and they drove back to her place.

  “Do you want to come in for a little?”

  “Thanks. Maybe another time. I’ll help you with the packages, but I’d better be on my way.” They each grabbed several bags and Kathryn directed him to leave them on the kitchen table. She followed him to the front door, where he quickly stooped down, gave her a peck on the cheek, and disappeared out the door.

  As he drove away, her hand pressed against her cheek and she thought back over the day. A day full of Adam. It was even better than the night they went for the tree. She reflected on Mrs. Frederick’s words. “Sometimes God allows things to happen for a reason.” What did she mean by that? And what was the reason?

  Kathryn carried the packages to the spare bedroom. She’d sort through them, and her confused thoughts about Adam, later. Going into her room to change into pajamas, her gaze fell on Robert’s Bible. A powerful urge to open it, to search for the answers, flooded her. She shook off the feeling and headed back downstairs to tackle her new project.

  She wanted to get something for Adam for Christmas, but until that night, didn’t have a clue what to get. His passion for the children in his African pictures gave her the inspiration she needed. She popped out the SD card, and inserted it into her computer to download the pictures. She would create a photo book for him. If she wanted to get it to him before Christmas, she’d better get started. She set the computer’s settings to ‘download all’ and went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea.

  After thumbing through the day’s mail and tossing most of it, the pictures were ready to go. She opened the first folder, dated three years before. She clicked on the first picture, and her heart jumped at the sight of Adam, not in Africa, but smartly dressed in an expensive suit with a gorgeous brunette at his side. Kathryn’s eyes narrowed. That must be Gina. She was dressed in a tight, black cocktail dress that left little to the imagination.

  Kathryn zoomed in the photo to focus on Adam. He looked like a different man. He was a little heavier, but the real difference was in his eyes. This was Adam the lawyer, the man before life threw him a curve ball that changed him forever. Kathryn clicked through several more pictures of well-dressed men and women, obviously at some sort of party. She moved forward, riveted by this unexpected glimpse into Adam’s former life, almost as if eavesdropping on a private conversation.

  She clicked forward into Christmas pictures—happy scenes of a family. Adam’s family. The curvaceous brunette was the center of many of the photographs. The next pictures featured Adam in a tuxedo. Kathryn stopped. Could this be Adam’s wedding day? It was almost too much to take in.

  If things played out differently, Adam would’ve been happily married today, not spending the day talking with puppets in a toy store with her. This was the life Adam deserved: fancy parties, a gorgeous wife, and an expensive house. Not stuck building a mall in some inconsequential town hundreds of miles from home. She marveled at the change in him. He wasn’t bitter. He accepted it as God’s will. She couldn’t imagine dealing with such a blow in that way. She clicked forward until she got to the pictures she wanted to use.

  She spent the next several hours organizing the photos from Africa into an online album. By the time she pressed the order button, it was two o’clock in the morning. Exhausted, but proud of her accomplishment, she crawled into bed. Adam would love the book.

  Sadly, the peaceful thought gave way to a restless night full of dreams of a voluptuous brunette coming to Pine Springs and snatching Adam away to Africa.

  17

  The following week went by too fast. Kathryn wasn’t looking forward to Christmas this year. The one bright spot in her life was Adam, and he would be leaving the twenty-third and not returning until after the new year. They made plans to meet for dinner the night before he was to leave. To Kathryn’s surprise, though, Adam arrived at her place with a bag of take-out.

  “I thought we’d eat in tonight, if that’s all right with you,” he told her. “Your present needs to stay here for a while.”

  Kathryn was curious.

  “Can you take this food into the kitchen?” he asked. “I have to get something out of the truck. I’ll be in in a minute.” Moments later, Adam was back at the door. “Close your eyes and sit. I have a surprise for you.”

  Kathryn sat on the sofa in nervous anticipation. Her eyes flew open and she nearly fell out of her seat as a furry little white thing landed in her lap.

  “A dog? You got me a dog? Are you crazy? How am I supposed to take care of a dog?”

  The little dog jumped off her lap and ducked behind Adam.

  “Calm down. Come here little fella, she won’t hurt you.” He brought the little mutt to Kathryn’s face, and it gave her nose a lick.

  In spite of herself, she giggled. “He is cute. What’s his name?”

  “That’s up to you. I wasn’t sure how you’d react to him, but he’s so much fun. He’s even house broken. He’s been hidden in my apartment the last two days, and the landlord never suspected a thing. I bought him from the farm where we got the Christmas tree. I made Farmer Bill promise to take him back if you asked, but I told him he wasn’t allowed to take him until after Christmas. I figured by that point, you’d be so in love with him that you wouldn’t be able to let him go.”

  “You’re giving me a dog, and forcing me to take care of him for four days?”

  “Yep, that’s the story,” Adam grinned mischievously.

  Kathryn couldn’t help but laugh. The little dog was back in her lap, tail wagging feverishly. He sat up, sniffed, jumped off her lap, and ran into the kitchen. A moment later he was bac
k, a french fry in his mouth.

  “Someone got into the dinner bag. Get back here, you little bandit!” Adam chased after the dog and righted the take-out bag that he’d poached.

  “That sounds like as good a name as any,” Kathryn laughed. “Come here, little Bandit!”

  Adam brought in a box of things for Bandit—a leash, a bag of food, some bowls, and a crate.

  They ate their dinner with Bandit watching every move they made.

  Kathryn gazed at the little dog.

  Adam stared at her.

  “What?”

  Adam’s smile lit up his whole face. “It just feels good to be right.”

  Kathryn put her hand on her hip. “Right about what?”

  “You needed a pleasant distraction in your life. I have a good feeling about you two.”

  Kathryn swatted Adam’s hand, but couldn’t help agreeing with him. “I guess someone has to distract me while you run back to Buffalo.” Her light-hearted tone didn’t quite mask her dread of him going back. She grabbed the take-out bag and started stuffing the trash in it. “Help me clean up, and then you’ll get your present.

  “It’s a deal.”

  Kathryn brought Adam into the living room and handed him a colorful package.

  He carefully unwrapped the paper to find his camera along with the photo book. His eyes widened at what she’d done.

  “It was a special time for you, and I thought this would help you to remember,” Kathryn said.

  Adam held the book tightly. “Thank you.” He put his arms around her and pulled her close. Kathryn didn’t want the moment to end.

  Bandit, however, had other plans. He paced back and forth in front of the door, barking loudly.

  Adam pulled away. “That means he needs to go out.” He grabbed the leash and ran outside with the dog.

  Kathryn sighed. Some moments were too good to last. She pulled on her coat and joined them outside.

  Adam handed her the leash. “I guess it’s time for me to be going. I’ve got a long trip ahead of me tomorrow. Have a great Christmas with your mom. You can give me a call or text sometime and tell me how you and Bandit are doing.”

  He gave her another quick hug and disappeared into the night.

  Kathryn shivered and went back into the house. A terrible wave of loneliness struck her. Adam was leaving. Sure, it was only for the Christmas holidays, but it felt as if everything was about to change. He was heading back to his world, the world of those pictures. He didn’t belong here. How long could she expect him to stay here in Pine Springs? He wouldn’t be content in construction forever. It scared her how much he’d come to mean to her in the last few months. Tears formed in her eyes, but she willed them away. A whine at her feet made her look down.

  Bandit wanted attention.

  She scooped him up, and lost herself in thought while he fell asleep, content, on her lap.

  ~*~

  Christmas Eve day, Kathryn drove to the airport to pick up her mom.

  When they got back to the house, Bandit jumped to greet them at the door.

  Her mom took a step backwards. “When did you get a dog?”

  “A friend gave him to me as a Christmas present. He’s pretty cute, I think.”

  “The dog, or your friend?” Mom gave Kathryn a look which she chose to ignore. As she carried the suitcase in from the car, Mom wandered into the living room. Kathryn found her staring at the tree with a strange expression.

  “This is different.”

  Kathryn laughed. “It’s tacky, but I like it. A friend of mine took me to get the tree, and insisted on the biggest one there. When I didn’t have enough decorations, we made some new ones.”

  “Is this the same friend that got you the dog?”

  Kathryn blushed. Her mother could read her like a book. She changed the subject. “So, how many random relatives will we be visiting this week?”

  Kathryn had a dozen aunts and uncles and great-aunts living within a couple hours, and her mom wanted to visit them all for Christmas. Mom went through the itinerary of visits, and added “Of course, I want to visit Anne and Mark, and your adorable niece and nephew, as well. We’ll see Mark tonight, but we can stop by their house at some point too.”

  “Why will we see Mark tonight?” Kathryn asked.

  “At church, of course. It is Christmas Eve, after all,” her mother replied.

  Kathryn’s spirits fell.

  “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

  Kathryn hesitated. “I haven’t exactly been attending church regularly.”

  “Oh, Kathryn. I know I didn’t take you to church too often growing up, but I thought your grandmother knocked enough sense into you to keep the habit going.”

  “I don’t need to go to church because it’s a habit, Mom.”

  After a few minutes of arguing, Kathryn reluctantly agreed to go to church. Her mother was right, it was Christmas Eve, and that’s what one did on Christmas Eve. It didn’t make any sense, though. If Jesus was God, why in the world would He come to earth to be born as a baby?

  That evening, she and her mother, dressed in their Sunday best, drove over to Faith Community. Anne and the kids attended the earlier family service. That left Kathryn, Mom, and a church full of people who only knew of her as Robert’s widow. She was not looking forward to this.

  As they entered the church, several smiling faces greeted them. “Merry Christmas, welcome!” and “Kathryn, how nice to see you again. This is your mother, right?”

  Kathryn was overwhelmed by how many people greeted her warmly. She recognized several of the ladies who were kind enough to bring meals to her when Robert passed. She was genuinely touched by their caring. It surprised her.

  Perhaps it was the warmth of her reception there, or perhaps it was because it was Christmas, but Kathryn listened attentively to Mark’s message. He started by reading the gospel of Luke, telling the story of Jesus’ birth. Kathryn knew this passage almost by heart, but tonight it was new and fresh, somehow. Mark’s next words might have been directed to her.

  “Some of you have heard this story many times, but never understood it. Why would God come to earth as a man?”

  “A man had the same question. His family went to Christmas Eve service and a snowstorm started. The man heard thumps at his window. He went outside to find a flock of sparrows trying to get out of the storm through his picture window.

  “He went out, opened his barn, and tried to shoo them in, knowing that was the only way they could survive the worsening storm. No matter what he tried, they wouldn’t go in. He realized that they were afraid of him. ‘If only I were a sparrow,’ he thought. ‘Then I could speak their language and show them the way to safety.’ The man finally realized that was exactly what God did. He came to be one of us, to show us the way to be saved.” Mark continued elaborating on what God did for everyone with Jesus’ birth.

  Kathryn didn’t hear anything after that. A tear crept down her cheek as the meaning of Christmas penetrated her defenses.

  Her mother reached over and took her hand.

  That night, Kathryn replayed Mark’s words in her head. God was tugging on her heart, but she wasn’t ready to give up control of her life. She’d held on tightly to it for too long.

  18

  After a surprisingly smooth road trip, Adam arrived at his parents’ house. He’d spent the entire drive praying. Going back to Buffalo was not easy. He took a moment to take in the scene before entering his parents’ house. Except for a few days back in the spring when he returned to the US, he hadn’t been home in nearly three years. That trip was a whirlwind.

  He’d spent it mostly getting over jet lag and sorting through his things in storage. He’d spent time with his family, of course, but no one else. This trip would be different. He was excited to spend Christmas with his family, but how many of his old friends would still want to see him? How many of them did he want to see?

  The front door opened, and his mom called out.

  “How
long are you going to sit out there? Get in here and give your Momma a hug!”

  Laughing, he grabbed his duffel bag and entered the house. He lifted his mother up and twirled her around. It was good to be home.

  “How’ve you been, stranger?” Adam’s brother Dave wrapped him in a bear hug.

  His two boys were soon surrounding Adam, both talking a mile a minute.

  “Whoa, guys, one at a time,” Dave gently chided. “At least let your uncle take off his coat.”

  Adam didn’t mind. He loved every minute of being back with his family. He tried to focus on the moment, and not on the guilt he felt for not being around.

  “I can’t believe how tall you boys are. What are they feeding you here?” He tousled their hair and soon was involved in a wrestling match. “Hey, two on one, that’s not fair!”

  After Adam was thoroughly worn out from wrestling, his mom saved him by calling everyone to the table for an early dinner.

  Adam stuffed himself with all his favorite foods. “Mom, nothing beats your cooking.” His mom waved his comment away with a hand, but the smile lighting her face told Adam he had pleased her. “I mean it, Mom. Thanks. It’s great to be home.”

  “Well, someone has to put some meat on your bones. You came back from Africa such a skinny thing. I thought maybe you’d have put on some weight by now.”

  Dave roared with laughter. “Yeah, that’s Adam, alright. A skinny little thing.”

  Adam punched his brother in the bicep. “Hey, at least I don’t have a belly like yours.”

  Dave pointed his fork at his wife across the table. “If you lived with Desiree, you’d be as big as me, no doubt. That’s what you need, little bro. A wife to fatten you up.”