The Defector

by J. C. Andrijeski

  Realizing what he was saying, he flushed.

  “It was different,” he said. “With Terry, it was never much more than sex. We were friends.” Flinching when he replayed his own words, Revik added, “I mean, we were really friends. I took care of Terry. Watched out for him. He had a tendency to get obsessive, though, including with me. So, I distanced myself. In the end, I broke it off. He didn’t take it very well, especially not at first.”

  Revik let out a startled groan when Dalejem wrapped his hand around his cock, pulling on his light. He stared up at the tent’s ceiling, fighting to relax, to calm down whatever it was in his chest that wanted to overreact to this.

  Gaos. He barely knew this seer.

  He’d only known him a few days.

  It didn’t feel like that, though.

  It didn’t feel like that at all.

  “No,” Dalejem murmured. “No, it doesn’t. It doesn’t feel like that, Revik.”

  The older seer was working over Revik’s light more methodically now.

  He unwound structures around Revik’s heart and belly almost before Revik knew he was doing it, leaving him so open he didn’t know how to fight it, to pull any of himself back. He found himself growing conscious of the age difference between them again. It hit him that he didn’t even know what that age difference was, precisely.

  Regardless of the precise years between them, Dalejem would probably be better with his light than any seer Revik had ever been with. There was a reason why seers coveted older sexual partners from among their own kind.

  And Dalejem was Adhipan.

  Of course he would be good with his light.

  Dalejem grunted, leaning into him again.

  He’d let go of Revik’s other wrist by then, and clenched his hair in one fist, holding him down as he continued to work over his light.

  “You had a lot more Adhipan with you than just me last night, brother,” he muttered.

  “Shut up about that,” Revik said.

  He closed his eyes, his heart stopping when the other pulled achingly on his light.

  Then Dalejem was massaging Revik’s body again, exploring him with his hands, and Revik closed his eyes, fighting the part of him that continued to panic, even as he felt his pain gradually begin to worsen. He felt the other male’s light still tugging at his, experimenting, learning him.

  When Dalejem continued at that careful, patient pace, Revik found himself asking for more, pulling on him back, even as the other seer shifted focus, using his light to calm Revik down. When Revik looked up next, Dalejem was watching his face, studying him intently.

  He saw Revik looking back at him and sent another ribbon of pain in Revik’s direction, making him groan aloud, half fighting where Dalejem held him.

  “Don’t,” Revik said. “Please. Let me give you head––”

  “Not yet.”

  “Please.” His voice came out gruffer, deeper. “Please––”

  “No. I don’t want to come yet. And I watched you last night. You like giving head, brother. A little too much, if you ask me.”

  Revik flushed.

  Embarrassment hit him, but that only wound into his pain, too.

  He bit his lip, wanting to argue.

  “How long are you going to punish me for this?” he growled finally. “For what I did last night? When you know what a fucking mess I was?”

  “As long as I want, brother.”

  Revik let out a groan when Dalejem’s hand went back to massaging his cock.

  He’d barely noticed the other had stopped until he started again, and by then, every nerve ending in his body felt like it was on fire. Whatever Dalejem had been doing to him with his light, it heightened everything Revik could feel, every breath and touch, every kiss and swipe of the seer’s tongue. Dalejem was pulling on him even now, making Revik’s breath stutter in his chest, his muscles tense so much he could barely move.

  For a long moment, he couldn’t think at all.

  When his vision finally cleared, he was clinging to the other male’s arms, his light so wrapped in Dalejem’s he could barely see.

  He could tell without looking he was fully extended.

  He felt the other male thinking about fucking him again, about intercourse, and Revik let out a heavier groan, clutching him tighter.

  “I saw you, you know,” Dalejem said, switching topics without changing tone. “As a child. As a real cub. When we shared light.”

  Revik didn’t avert his gaze, but he felt his skin flush, his muscles tense painfully. He tried again to see what the other male was talking about, but that time, Dalejem pushed him gently away from his light.

  “You don’t need to see that right now, Revik.”

  “You won’t tell me?”

  Dalejem looked at him, then nodded slowly. “I will,” he said. “But not right now.”

  Revik stared at him, fighting confusion. Another whisper of shame wanted to crawl over his light, but Dalejem smoothed that away, too, making it irrelevant.

  Revik couldn’t see anything about what Dalejem meant, what he’d seen, but the feeling of shame lingered as he lay there, until he had to fight not to let it show.

  “No, brother.” Dalejem clicked at him softly, reassuringly, caressing his face with one hand. “No. I did not bring that up to embarrass you, or to hold the information over you. I’ll never share anything about you with anyone, Revik, not if you don’t want me to.”

  Revik nodded, biting the inside of his cheek.

  “I understand,” he began.

  “Do you?” Dalejem mused, watching his face. “I wonder if you do. I wonder if you’ve had many people you can trust with information about yourself.”

  Pausing a beat, almost as if waiting to see if Revik would answer, he added,

  “You can trust me in this, Revik. You can trust me, no matter what happens with us. I’ll never try to manipulate you with any information I learn about you, or use it as a weapon against you, or judge you for anything in your past.”

  Pausing a second time, he added, his voice a touch harder,

  “Well… apart from maybe orgies with my friends.”

  Revik let out an involuntary laugh, gasping when the other seer laid on him, sinking his weight into most of Revik’s body.

  Revik let out a longer groan when Dalejem started massaging him again, then another when he wouldn’t stop… and again, when Dalejem wouldn’t let him come.

  “Please…” he said. “Please…”

  “I want you to trust me, Revik.”

  Revik shook his head, but not really in a no.

  “I do,” he said. “I do. It’s just––”

  “––You don’t really trust anyone,” Dalejem finished for him.

  Revik hesitated, fighting to think past the other’s hands and light.

  Then he shrugged, a sideways tilt of his head.

  “I don’t know,” he said truthfully.

  He closed his eyes when Dalejem slid off him again, mostly to gain access to more of his body with his hands. The older seer started touching him more deliberately again, losing himself in skin and light, and Revik felt himself sinking into the mat, losing touch with what they were doing, with what they were even talking about.

  He cried out weakly when Dalejem started stroking the hirik, the hard end of his extended cock lightly with his fingers.

  “Fuck,” he gasped. “Fuck… please. Please…” His pain spiked, and his light ripped out of his control, making his voice deeper, harder. “You’re a fucking tease. A power-hungry, jealous, control-freak, asshole tease…”

  He felt the other reacting to his words.

  At least some of that reaction was humor.

  Revik realized Dalejem was muting those reactions, too, at least from where Revik could feel them. The other seer was totally in control of his light, whatever he’d said about wanting him before. Which meant he could probably do this to him for hours, if he felt like it.

  Unlike Revik, he probably ha
dn’t had one night of sex in five years.

  With how Dalejem looked, with the way he used his light, he probably had sex pretty much whenever he wanted it.

  “Last night I didn’t,” Dalejem muttered.

  Arching an eyebrow, he met Revik’s gaze when he looked up, his mouth hard.

  “The rest is more or less true. Does that bother you, brother? Are you going to try and turn things on me now, get jealous about me… about things you know nothing about? Or have you been listening to camp gossip about me?”

  Revik couldn’t answer that, either.

  Truthfully, it only confused him.

  No one told him camp gossip.

  Dalejem let out a low laugh, still stroking him with his fingers, holding him down with that hand fisted in Revik’s hair.

  “You’re going to have to relax, Revik,” Dalejem said. “You’re going to have to do what I ask for a little while… then maybe I’ll forgive you.”

  Meeting that pale-eyed stare in the dim light of the tent, Revik softened his body even more, turning to his side so he was facing him.

  “I’m sorry,” he murmured, looking into his face. “Please. I’ll do whatever you want. Anything.” He kissed him lingeringly, using his light, pulling on him slowly, more sensually, even as his hand slid down his body.

  “Please,” he murmured. “Gaos, please… let me…”

  Dalejem laughed, even as he sent more heat into Revik’s belly, making him jump, then wince against a shock of pain.

  Revik ended up laying there, panting, fighting to pull back his light.

  He was still fighting for control when Dalejem pushed him away lightly with his hand, gripping his hair more firmly in his fingers to tug him back down onto the mat. Once he had Revik more or less on his back again, he pinned him by the wrist.

  “You’re a dangerous little fuck,” Dalejem said affectionately.

  Revik winced at the “little” comment, but didn’t speak.

  Dalejem felt it anyway.

  “I meant age, brother,” he said, rolling his eyes and clicking. He started massaging Revik’s body again with his free hand, starting with his chest. “Very little else of you is ‘little,’ brother… certainly not this,” he said, pulling harder on his cock with his light.

  Revik groaned involuntarily that time, writhing, even as the other’s hand brought another low cry to his lips.

  When he could see again, Dalejem frowned.

  “Why would you take my words that way?” he said.

  Revik let out another gasp when Dalejem started touching him again.

  “Please,” he said finally. “Please. Gods, please. I’ll end up fighting you for real. I swear to the gods. I won’t be able to help myself if you don’t let me––”

  “Stop begging me, brother,” Dalejem said. “Trust me, I’m hard. I’m really fucking hard, Revik. And you’re definitely going to give me head.”

  His words came out almost soft and Revik’s pain worsened.

  When he looked up next, Dalejem’s eyes had grown sharper, more predatory.

  His hands grew stronger, even as those eyes studied Revik’s face.

  “You’re going to get what you want, brother,” Dalejem murmured, still studying his eyes. “It’s not been easy for me, holding you off even this much. Although I confess, some part of me would really like to know what you would do, if I deprived you long enough. You’re still holding back… with your light, especially. You’re holding back a lot. It’s driving me fucking crazy, if you want the truth…”

  Leaning down, Dalejem kissed his mouth, even as he shifted his weight over him, until he was half lying on him again.

  Revik groaned a little from having his weight on him, feeling his pain worsen.

  Looking down at his face, Dalejem gripped his wrist tighter.

  “Balidor gave us the day off,” he said, his green eyes studying Revik’s. “So technically, I guess I could deprive you as long as I wanted. I have food in here… and water. My bunk mates have already been relocated to other tents.”

  Dalejem’s sculpted mouth hardened to a frown, even as Revik felt the other seer’s pain grow more prominent in his light.

  “So other than when you have to take a piss, brother, and barring any kind of emergency, I wouldn’t expect to be leaving this tent any time soon.”

  Revik grunted a laugh, in spite of himself.

  Before he could get very far into it, the other male had his hands on him again.

  Like before, it shocked Revik, yanking him out of his head when he realized how much more open his light was, even now. He gasped, fighting to pull himself back… then abruptly lost control over his light entirely, letting out a cry that was openly pleading.

  Dalejem didn’t stop. He watched Revik’s face, working over his light more intently than before. When Revik resisted, usually in instinct, without awareness or even real consciousness of why, or what he was doing, Dalejem switched to using his hands and mouth, pulling Revik’s mind away from whatever it was protecting, distracting him with his fingers, lips and tongue.

  Revik had no idea how long that went on.

  It seemed to go on forever.

  It seemed to go on until his body turned into liquid heat.

  He just knew at some point, they were fucking.

  Dalejem was inside him, and Revik had his arms clasped tightly around the seer’s back, hard enough that the other was gasping for breath, struggling to control his light.

  Revik felt the other seer fighting not to come and let out a heavier groan, realizing in the silence afterwards that others could probably hear him outside of the tent.

  If he looked, he would probably feel some of them listening, even now.

  He felt Dalejem’s awareness of that, too, a lingering jealousy in the older male’s light, anger from the night before––right before he arched into Revik harder, his light slamming into Revik’s so intensely, some part of Revik briefly left his body.

  Feeling the possessiveness there, even apart from the actual physical sensation of what they were doing, Revik groaned aloud, fighting him with his hands, gasping in pain.

  He found himself pleading with him again, losing track of his own words.

  It didn’t matter, though.

  Dalejem didn’t answer him.

  He didn’t pull back with his light, or slow his body––or even tell Revik to be quiet. It took Revik a few minutes longer to realize Dalejem wouldn’t answer him, not anymore.

  For now, at least, the green-eyed seer was done talking.

  Twenty-Three

  Always

  Revik let out a sigh, leaning his head back on the dirt.

  He knew the other seer wouldn’t let him get away with lying there for long.

  He closed his eyes anyway, then shielded them with one hand, gazing up through his fingers at the slanting green and gold light filtering through the leaves of the trees.

  When Dalejem tugged on his hair, using his light to pull at his attention, Revik tilted his head back, smiling up at the seer’s face. He adjusted his back on the rough ground slightly as he did it, moving a jutting tree root to a more comfortable place by his spine.

  “We’re supposed to be training, you know,” the older seer chided.

  Revik nodded, feeling the smile pull at his lips.

  Dalejem rolled his eyes in exaggerated seer-fashion, clicking at him.

  Revik heard the other seer’s amusement that time, and let his smile creep wider.

  “Don’t give me that look,” Dalejem scolded, prodding Revik’s shoulder with a booted foot. “You are a positively shameless flirt.”

  Revik chuckled, but Dalejem went on in the same tone, gesturing sharply with a hand.

  “Adhipan Balidor isn’t going to let us keep getting away with this, you know. He pulled me off regular rotations, brother. He allowed it as a favor to you, to let me help you with this… and we’ve spent two whole days out here now, mostly fucking and staring at clouds. With some light picnick
ing and a few naps in between.”

  Letting out a low chuckle, Revik turned over onto his stomach, rolling his eyes.

  Then, gauging the other’s light briefly, he crawled up leisurely to his hands and knees.

  He kept moving forward in that way until he was more or less in the other seer’s lap.

  When Dalejem burst out in a laugh, meeting his gaze from only a few inches away, Revik lowered his head, and pressed his cheek against his, nuzzling him briefly before sliding his face down kiss the seer’s throat.

  Feeling the other’s breath stop, Revik lowered his mouth still more, kissing him where his neck met his shoulder, and where he already knew Dalejem’s skin was particularly sensitive.

  Pulling on him with his light, Revik slid his hand inside his vest, massaging the muscles along his abdomen and chest.

  “You are impossible,” Dalejem grumbled. “A hopeless sex maniac.”

  “Tell me to stop,” Revik said.

  Dalejem didn’t tell him to stop.

  Revik kept going, until the green-eyed seer made a low sound, from deep in his chest, wrapping an arm around Revik’s neck when Revik’s hand slid further into his clothes. When Revik started unfastening Dalejem’s shirt, though, the older seer frowned.

  “Are you really so determined to never relearn your infiltration skills, brother?” he complained. “You might need them, you know. Or do you plan to join those monks of yours on a more permanent basis?”

  Letting out another low sound when Revik’s hand traveled lower, he added, his voice carrying the fainted hint of a gasp,

  “Did it occur to you that maybe Adhipan Balidor has an ulterior motive in this? One that might allow us to spend a lot more time together than just these few weeks, brother?”

  Revik raised his head, frowning at him.

  “What?” he said.

  Dalejem laughed at his expression, clicking in amusement. Sliding his fingers into Revik’s black hair, he gripped him almost fiercely in his fingers.

  “Damn you,” he said, gazing over his face, a smile still toying at his mouth. “I’m hard as iron now. But I’m quite sure you knew that, already.” He caressed Revik’s face, his voice dropping to a murmur. “You’re beautiful, brother,” he said. “Gods, you’re beautiful. Are you trying to drive me crazy on purpose?”