Leo: A More Than Series Spin-Off

by McLean, Jay

  He pushes forward, his nose running along my jaw until his mouth’s to my ear. “That works,” he murmurs, and then his entire hand is under my top, at the small of my back, and my knees buckle, but he catches me in time, his strong arm holding me to him.

  “Crud,” I hiss, pushing on his chest. He doesn’t budge. I don’t know if I want him to. “It’s getting late.”

  When seconds pass with no response, I look up at him, just in time to see his tongue dart out, wet his full bottom lip. I think I moan, which is stupid.

  “You have a long drive back.” It’s barely a whisper.

  “Uh-huh,” he says, and then his mouth is on my neck, his lips parting. Heat radiates up my spine to the tips of my fingers as they slide through his hair. He groans, saying, “Like, so far away, I might fall asleep…” My back arches, pressing my breasts closer to him as if they’re yelling here, I want that mouth here! He smiles against my flesh because he knows exactly what he’s doing. Soon enough, that smile turns into a wicked, cocky guffaw. The motherfluffer is teasing me.

  This time, I do push him away and attempt to glare at him.

  He laughs. Jerk.

  “My couch is really uncomfortable.” I move to grab the blanket and thrust it against his solid chest. “I hope you have the worst sleep ever!” And then I cross my arms and stomp off to my room, closing the door behind me. I strip out of my clothes and into an oversized T-shirt before climbing into bed. For minutes, I toss and turn, and I don’t know why I’m so annoyed that he has this stupid power over me. I should take the power back. Claim it. I retrieve my phone from the pocket of my shorts and write out a text:

  Next time you tease me like that, I’m going to sit on your face and ride your filthy mouth, Leo Preston!

  With a wicked grin on my face and newfound confidence, I hit send.

  A second later, I hear the alert go off on his phone, and a moment after that: “Dammit, Mia!”

  Chapter Sixty-Nine

  Mia

  I wake up the next morning on my own, no Benny climbing on the bed—which hasn’t happened since he moved out of his crib. I check the time on my phone, and it’s close to ten. I don’t sleep in this long, not even when Benny stays at my dad’s. I worry too much; I know this. Still, it doesn’t stop the panic from pumping through my veins. I throw the covers off of me and practically run out of my room, halting when I see them in the living room. Under a shared blanket covering their backs, Benny and Leo sit between the couch and the coffee table, looking at the pages of an open book. Leo glances my way, then says, focusing on whatever Benny’s pointing at in the book, “Morning, sleepy head.”

  Benny giggles. “Yeah. Morning, sleepy head.” He’s on his knees, flipping through the pages.

  Leo’s eyes meet mine again, his smile lazy, hair sticking up in all directions. “There’s still some coffee left if you want it. Benny and I had toast already. We weren’t sure when you’d wake, but we can still go to the diner for breakfast.”

  “Leo, look at this one!” Benny almost shouts, finger slamming down on the book.

  “That’s a really cool one,” Leo replies.

  “You think any of the rocks in the tumbler will be like that?”

  “Maybe.”

  For a moment, I just stand there, my heart in my throat, watching them talk, seeing them connect. And I try to push down all the emotions swarming through me. Regret bites at my chest, clawing to escape, and it’s so damn painful it causes heat to burn behind my eyes. My airways close in while I sniff back the heartache. And Leo—he must sense my destruction because he looks over at me, his eyes stained with pity, and then he lifts the blanket and motions for me to join them. I sit, ignoring the heat emitting from his bare chest as he pulls me into him, his hand stroking my arm, up and down, up and down. He presses his lips to my temple, whispering so low I barely hear him, “It’s okay.”

  I wipe my tears against his shoulder, because it’s not. None of this is okay. The pain we caused each other—the guilt and regret and turmoil and suffering—it doesn’t just go away because we have a son together. And all of that exists in just our little bubble alone. What happens when his family finds out and gets involved? Which they will, inevitably—and how do I tell him that of all the things in this world that terrify me, his brothers’ judgement could be my one undoing? I sniff back another sob as Benny asks, “What’s this one?”

  Leo leans forward to look at the page. “That one looks like amethyst.”

  “Oooh, I like hammafist.”

  Leo chuckles.

  “Where did these books come from?” I finally speak, my voice hoarse with emotion.

  “Leo brought them,” Benny answers. “They were his from when he was little like me!”

  Leo

  We don’t go to the diner. Instead, Mia, Benny and I stay at the farm and we spend as much time together before they have to leave. Since the airport’s close to my apartment, I offer to give Benny and Mia a ride, just so I can get some extra time with them. When Tammy and Mr. Kovács bring up moving Benny’s car seat, I show them the one already in my car. There are two there—one for Preston and one for Katie. I stutter when Mr. Kovács—who insists I call him Joseph—asks if they’re for my kids. After I explain who they’re for, Tammy and Joseph leave just after lunch so they can get some shopping done in Charlotte.

  Benny and I go on another adventure with Mia trailing behind us. We find more rocks than we know what to do with, and I’m slowly learning which of the rocks Benny prefers to collect. He doesn’t opt for the smooth, gray stones. He likes the ones with sharp edges and imperfections—probably why he seems to like me.

  “Look, Mama!” he says, ankle deep in the creek as he pulls his latest find from the stream and lifts it in the air.

  Mia smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “That’s nice, buddy.” She’s leaning against a tree trunk a short distance away, her arms loose at her sides. It hasn’t gone unnoticed that ever since this morning, she’s been quiet, a little distant. “We should head back, Benny. Mama didn’t put sunscreen on you and you’re starting to burn.”

  Benny nods, shoving the rock in his pocket.

  When we get back to the house, Benny dumps the bucket onto the porch, spilling his treasure all over the floor. Then he lies on his stomach and reaches for my hand, indicating for me to do the same. So that’s how we stay while he goes through every one, setting them in piles I don’t truly understand. He’s mainly quiet as he does this, his little mind working, brow knitting every few stones as he assesses them. I simply watch him, ignoring the ache in my chest at knowing that our time is almost over. Mia sits on the porch swing watching us, her lips pulled down at the corners.

  After an hour or so, Mia goes into the house and returns a few minutes later with a cut-up sandwich, an iPad and a pair of small headphones. “Snack time, Benny,” she says, setting all the items in front of him. She taps the iPad a few times, then helps him put the headphones over his ears as he sits up. Her eyes catch mine, and she inclines her head toward the swing seat. I get up and immediately stretch my back, easing all the knots from being in that same position for so long. She sits back on the swing seat, and I sit next to her, taking in the way she sits with her shoulders bowed, arms outstretched, hands gripping the edge of the seat. She’s guarded, and I don’t know why. “Did I do something?”

  Her eyes snap to mine. “No, Leo,” she sighs. “You did nothing wrong.”

  I don’t know what to say, so I stay quiet.

  After a long stretch of silence, she says, her voice low as she watches Benny, “Seeing you both this morning, it kind of… I don’t know. It made me regret not telling you, I guess. You’ve missed out on so much, and… it was selfish of me.” Her voice cracks, and she clears it before adding, “I think I did such a good job of lying to myself, convincing myself I was doing the right thing that eventually… I believed it.”

  I lean forward so our faces are closer, and I can keep my voice just above a whisper so B
enny doesn’t hear. “It’s not like I made it easy,” I admit. “Obviously I’m pissed that I missed out on the first four years of his life, but I’m not pissed at you. I’m shitty at the situation we put ourselves in.” I pause a beat, cracking my knuckles. “We both made mistakes, but Benny—he isn’t one of them.”

  She nods, understanding. “I should’ve known,” she says, still watching our son.

  “Known what?” I urge.

  It takes her a moment to answer. “How good you’d be with him. For him. I mean, I knew you, Leo. I knew your heart, and I loved you for it.” Her eyes trail to mine, filled with tears of sadness and regret. “Your brothers are going to hate me more than they already do.”

  My breath catches in my throat, because of all the things I was expecting her to say—this isn’t it. “My brothers don’t hate you, Mia.” I sigh. “Why are you even thinking about this?”

  “I don’t know,” she’s quick to say. “I just… I worry.”

  “About what?” I don’t mean to be harsh, but that’s how it comes out. “This isn’t about my brothers or anyone else, and I know… I know we have a lot to overcome—you and me—and maybe some of that stems from the shit that happened with Lucas and Logan that led to your—” I stop, the pressure in my chest preventing my mind from going back there. I peek over at Benny, make sure he’s still consumed by the documentary on quarries playing on the iPad. “I just feel like, right now, we need to focus on our son.”

  “That’s all I focus on, Leo,” she snaps, shaking her head. Her knees are bouncing, rocking the swing, and she reaches up, her fingers curling in her hair, tugging at the roots.

  I reach up, pry her fingers away and make her face me.

  Eyes scattered, she looks everywhere but at me. She says, her words rushed, as if every thought she’s ever had spills out of her in a single breath, “It’s all good now, when it’s just us three, but when they find out, they’re going to judge me for not telling you, and they’re going to hate me but love him, and they’re going to talk you into doing the same, and they’ll ask you to fight for custody of him, and it’ll go to court and some judge will decide about weekends and holidays and—”

  “Mia!”

  Her mouth snaps shut just as a single tear escapes. She swipes it away, as if it never existed. “It’s true, Leo,” she whispers.

  And here’s the fucked-up thing that never even crossed my mind. It is true. At least part of it. The memories she has of my brothers don’t define who they are now. They’re far from the shitty humans they were then. Ever since the shit with Laney and then Logan, something switched within all of us. The Preston name became more than a name; it became an honor. And with that honor came a bond, a loyalty so fucking strong there was no way we’d ever let anyone come in and break it. And Mia—she had the power to do that. They’d be pissed for me, because they don’t know our history, and that’s… that’s on me.

  Fuck.

  Mia had always been my secret, because I was stupid and immature and I didn’t want to share her, but more… I didn’t want them teasing me about her. How fucking pathetic.

  “It’s not something you have to worry about,” I lie, my jaw tense.

  Her eyes lock on mine. “I’ll do anything you want, Leo. If you want us to fly down every weekend, we will,” she cries, letting her tears fall. “I’ll do whatever you need, just please, promise you won’t take him away from me.”

  “Mia…” I hold her face in my hands, thumb the tears staining her cheeks as my gaze searches hers, and I wish I had something to say to ease her fears, something powerful. I don’t. I only have truths, and so that’s what I give her: “You and Benny are mine now, and I won’t let anything happen to us.”

  Chapter Seventy

  Leo

  “This is going to be the longest two weeks of my life,” I murmur, my mouth pressed to the top of Mia’s head.

  “I know,” she replies. “You can call any time. We can video chat.” She’s in my arms, and I don’t want to let her go.

  All this time, I’d been so worried about Benny and hoping he’d like me that I didn’t even consider what it would be like to say goodbye.

  “This sucks,” I mutter, finally releasing her.

  “Keep moving!” a man dressed as airport security yells, eyeing me as he points to the drop-off sign.

  I roll my eyes and squat down in front of Benny. “Thanks for hanging out with me this weekend,” I say, but he’s in the middle of a “reboot”, so his reaction is minimal.

  Mia runs a hand through his hair. “You have to say bye, bud. We’re leaving Leo now.”

  Benny blinks, then looks up at his mom. “Where’s Papa?”

  Disappointment pierces my heart, even though I know it shouldn’t. Damn, I wonder how many times my parents felt this way with me. It must’ve been enough for them to try to “fix” me, that’s for sure.

  “Benny,” Mia urges, squeezing his hand.

  I get to my feet. “It’s fine.” I kiss her forehead, attempt not to break down like a little bitch in public. “I’ll call you.”

  “Keep moving!” the security guy yells. Fuck him.

  “There’s Papa!” Benny shouts, and then he’s off, running through the open sliding doors toward Tammy and Joseph, who are waiting just inside.

  Mia watches until he’s safe in her dad’s arms before turning to me. She pouts. “Thank you for… being you.” She almost laughs, rolling her eyes.

  I take both her hands in mine and lean against my truck, the overwhelming emotions making it difficult to stand. “Thank you for making it happen.”

  “Two weeks,” she says.

  “Two weeks,” I repeat.

  She kisses me so quick, I barely have time for it to register before she’s walking away, dragging her luggage behind her.

  I watch her leave until the security guard stands in front of me. “Keep moving!”

  “Jesus Christ, okay!”

  “You’re holding up the line!” I look behind me. There are cars, sure, but no line. I turn back to him, my eyes narrowed. He’s at least half a foot shorter than me, scrawny as hell, and I don’t know why he seems to have an issue with me. I’m not the only one here. He points to a badge attached to a lanyard around his neck. “Just doing my job.”

  I contain my eye-roll. If I ever become a shitbag because of a badge, I want someone to rip off my nuts. I glance one more time at Benny and Mia, now walking away, and take my keys from my pocket to show the guard. “I’m leaving,” I tell him, hands up in surrender.

  “Leo!” Benny’s voice has me turning to him so fast, I almost lose my footing. He’s running toward me, Joseph walking only a step behind. His arms are outstretched, and so I squat down, ready to catch him. He collides with my chest, his arms folding around my head, squeezing as hard as his four-year-old muscles can handle.

  “I’ll see you soon, bud,” I choke out, and I don’t want to let go of him either. Ever.

  He pulls back, loosening his grip, but still holding on to me. “I forgot to give you something.”

  “You did?”

  He releases me and fishes a rock from his pocket, holding it between us.

  “You’re going to get a fine,” the guard warns.

  “Fine me,” I say, never taking my focus off Benny. From the corner of my eye, I see him pull out a handheld device. I don’t care.

  “It’s got yellow in it.” Benny shows me the specks of yellow marring the stone, then looks up, his smile just for me. “It’s your favorite color.”

  “It is,” I breathe out. “Thank you. I’m going to keep it with me always.” I take it from him, and his grin widens.

  “I can’t wait to open the rock tumbler when we go back.”

  “I know,” I say, my lungs filling with the warmth of his presence. “I’m excited to see what you have.”

  “Can we go on another adventure?”

  My smile is stupid. “We can go on as many adventures as you want.”

  He no
ds, just as Joseph puts a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he says to me. “We have to go, or we’ll miss the flight.”

  “All right.” I focus on my son. “I’ll call your mama, and maybe you and I can talk about where to go next?”

  “Okay.” He hugs me one more time before I finally release him. “Bye, Leo!” He waves, and I wave back as I get to my feet. I watch him take Joseph’s hand as they walk through the sliding doors together. And then I see Mia, watching us, her sad smile aimed at me, and then Benny. She forces her lips to broaden as she takes his other hand, saying something to him I can’t make out.

  After sucking in a breath and exhaling loudly, I look over at the guard, who’s still standing right fucking there. I sigh, checking my truck’s windshield. “Where’s my fine?” I ask him.

  He motions to the sliding doors. “That man took it.”

  Chapter Seventy-One

  Leo

  Benny’s features, besides his eyes, are all mine. But his mannerisms are very much Mia’s. Especially his little scowl, which, thankfully, he doesn’t do anywhere near as much as Mia. When I told her this, she scowled, proving my point. Her dad thought it was hilarious.

  That was two months ago. It’s been four months now of me splitting my time between the academy during the week, and then alternating weekends back home and at the farm. Most of the time, Tammy travels with Mia and Benny. Once a month, her dad joins us.

  I’ve gotten to know Joseph Kovács on a level I never thought I would or—more specifically—never thought I’d want to. It was on my third weekend at the farm when I woke up at six to go on my morning run, and he was there, on the porch steps, stretching, preparing to do the same. We had this awkward little standoff for a good few seconds before he laughed, and I found myself nervously laughing with him. We run together most mornings when he’s at the farm, and we talk. Well, he talks, and I listen. He tells me about his work mainly, but every now and then, he’ll talk about Mia and Benny. Sometimes he’ll get real quiet afterward as if his mind is consumed with other thoughts. One time, when we got back from a run, he said, “Listen, about Mia… I’m—” I swear he was about to apologize, though I don’t know what for, and besides, I’m not the one he needs to apologize to.