Emerge into Forever

by Andrea Michelle

  I press my lips together in a slight grimace as she looks around the house, which smells of sweat, cigarettes and sex. Her eyes suddenly widen, her breath quickens and her lips softly part. I follow her gaze to find her eyes feast on a couple only a few feet from us. A guy has a girl pinned against the wall. His body is covering hers, keeping her out of view slightly. From where we are standing to the side of them, though, we can clearly see his hand is in her pants. Her head is thrown back in ecstasy. It’s hot, and for a moment I let myself watch.

  My mouth becomes moist and my gaze fixates on the girls face. She bites her lip I assume to stifle her moan. I find myself leaning in to whisper hot in Preslee’s ear, “We used to be good at that, remember?”

  She swallows hard, shivers and turns her head finding my body very close to hers. She gasps and very slowly licks her lips as she nods.

  It’s been a while since I’ve had the pleasure of being inside of her. I need to be inside of someone, even her, to get out of my head and forget the things I want to forget. Other urges frighten me and I need those to disappear.

  She stares long and hard into my eyes. It makes me uncomfortable, the way she seems too perceptive of my emotions. It’s unnerving. She is fooling no one with her aloofness. I affect her. She likes this dark part of me, always has.

  Her mouth curls up as she steps closer to me to whisper into my own ear. “I figured it out. I just can’t figure out why you brought me here with you, when all you wanted was to find her.”

  I step back to search her eyes. How does she know that? She half frowns, half smiles. She touches her fingers to my cheek and turns my head. Oh fuck! I see her standing against the wall.

  Riley.

  She looks pissed off and hotter than hell in ripped up hip hugger skinny jeans, a black baby t-shirt that doesn’t even cover her stomach. Holy shit, and that navel piercing has my dick twitching. I let my gaze follow down her body to find these black spiked heels on her feet. Her hair is a mess of curls and my hands itch to grab one of those curls again, just to feel the softness between my fingers. My breath catches and my pulse quickens.

  Preslee leans into my ear to tell me she is going to get a drink, nibbling at my lobe. I shrug her off. I don’t care anymore whether she stays or goes. I’m questioning my motive in bringing her with me in the first place. Maybe, I feared I needed to be talked off the ledge. Maybe, I hoped she would distract me. I definitely wanted her to stop me from doing this right now. Or did I? I came here, followed them here actually, so did I really want to stop, or did I want to take back what was mine?

  Some bitch begins to grind against me. It feels nice. I let my hands invite her movements, but my eyes are zeroed in on my target. I quit breathing when her eyes lock with mine. Those gorgeous indecisive eyes widen when she notices me staring at her. I can see her soft gasp as one of her arms wrap around her midsection. Then her demeanor changes, her eyes narrow into murderous slits before she rolls them and looks away as she takes a long pull on a beer Collin just handed her.

  Speaking of, I need to make sure I stay out of his sight, or he will let Josh know I’m around her. I’m honestly surprised he didn’t show up here. I figured he would. It’s obvious she has no idea he is in town. Then again, maybe she does and this is her rebellion against her broken heart. His loss. She flicked her eyes to me one last time, lingering some before Collin and Emily leave her alone. Not a good move.

  I’m watching from my dark corner as she slowly comes undone. Drink after drink after drink, she becomes more erratic. Why the fuck did they leave her on her own in the state she is in? She’s definitely on a mission of getting fucked up. Preslee has been standing by my side for a good few minutes watching me...watch her. She’s too inquisitive and it pisses me off.

  Riley climbs on top of the coffee table and Preslee scoffs. My body becomes rigid and my gaze darts to her. She holds her hands up and laughs dismissively. “Innocent my ass. That bitch is asking for trouble.” I angle my body away from her and watch Riley come loose. I’m slightly mesmerized by the way her body moves, yet wary. I draw in a slow breath and try to calm my rapid heartbeat. My body feels hot and the blood is roaring in my ears.

  Crave You by Flight Facilities is hypnotically coming through the speakers. Riley is running her hands into her hair, her hips rolling and dipping. It’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen, and then she runs her hands down her sides to the hem of her shirt. My breath hitches, my muscles tense and then she lifts her shirt off.

  “Oh, shit. She did not just do that.” I hear Preslee say in my ear. I wish she would just shut the fuck up.

  Shit. Just shit. She is standing there wiping sweat off her body, with her breast on display for everyone in this room. It enrages me. It turns me on. A crimson red sinful bra is all that is covering her top. My thoughts are disturbing me, scaring the fuck out of me actually. I want to go grab her and push her against the wall, claim her mouth. I want to throw her over my shoulder, spank her ass and take her upstairs to the place where I know I can take everything I want from her. I want to hide her and protect her from sick fucks like me.

  FUCK!

  I run my hands into my hair and pull. Hard. Tremor like vibrations are coming off of my body in waves. I can taste the adrenaline in my mouth and the beads of sweat building on my forehead. I cut my eyes to the exit and head out the front door and scream at no one. What the fuck is wrong with her? She drives me insane. I just want to feel her skin, lick the sweat off of her neck and taste what is hidden underneath the barriers she wore. I want to scold her for being so reckless.

  Preslee is right on my tail. I grab her by her shoulders roughly and push her against the brick wall on the side of the house. She gasps as I crash my lips violently against her. Distract me. Fuck. Make this shit in my head disappear. Fuck the no kissing rule. Fuck all of it. She lets me degrade her this way. She likes me rough. She pushes me back and we stare at each other with lust in our eyes. She reaches her hands up to grab my shirt and then she pulls me tight against her. She flips me around to where I am now pressed against the wall and presses her lips to mine with the same eagerness. She rubs her hips against me and I reach my hand to cup her ass. An erotic moan leaves her lips. I feel the tension dissipating leaving in its place a tingling sensation.

  Just when I think we are about to get real indecent in public, we hear gagging and a few moments later a thud. Preslee pushes off of me breathless with glazed over eyes. We both turn to see Riley lying in the grass. My eyes widen when Preslee turns to me and says, “You know what’s sweeter than anything we can do to each other?”

  My stomach rolls as I pull my gaze away from Riley and look at Preslee. I lift a shoulder and frown at her looking down at her like a science experiment. “Revenge,” she says, nodding her head to Riley. “She’s so out of it, Dean. Look at her.” I do. “She is a fucking mess. Ruin her.” I gape at her in disbelief, completely at a loss for words. The rolling of my stomach has completely hardened. “She has you inside out. You’re coming undone just by the sight of her.” Preslee bites my ear and then softly licks it. “She could be yours tonight, Dean. Go to her,” she whispers wicked intentions. It’s like the voice of the devil telling the demon in me what to do.

  I slowly walk over to Riley, looking down at the mess she has become. “Riley?” My voice is shaky.

  “Huh?” she says, looking up from the ground.

  God, her eyes pull at me in the most intense way. “What are you doing down there?” I ask. My voice is void of the emotion that is unraveling inside of me.

  She laughs and the sound of it does something funny to me. I feel a pang where my heart should be. “It’s these damn shoes. They won’t work on my feet. Fuckers,” she says, pulling her heels off and throwing them to the side.

  I regard her, disturbed by the thoughts whirling in my head. “What are you doing out here...alone like this? It’s not safe.”

  You shouldn’t be out here where I can find you so easily.

  “Colli
n and Em wanna make me go home, but I don’t wanna go with them,” she whines.

  Ah. She is running from her babysitters. My smile slowly builds and I take her heels in my hands. I glance to Preslee watching in the distance and offer Riley my hand. She doesn’t take it. My muscles jump under my skin and I rub behind my neck feeling angry by her rejection. I grit my teeth and try to come up with something to get her to come with me. “I can drive you to your mom’s, if ya want?” I ask rocking in place. I won’t.

  She purses her lips and stares at me contemplating her decision.

  Say no. Run away.

  Say yes. Come with me.

  Her eyelids grow heavy and she blinks a few times before she lays her head on the grass and her eyes shut completely. I’m fighting my demons. I know it’s wrong to want to take her like this. I want her so badly. Oh, God. I look up to Preslee hoping she talks me out of this. She doesn’t. She nods her head to Riley. “Go,” she demands.

  I reach down and place my hands underneath Riley, picking her up effortlessly. She’s lost a lot of weight. She whimpers softly and pushes against my chest, resisting. “Shhh,” I whisper and she leans her head into my chest. I carry her to my dad’s car and place her in the front seat then lean over to buckle her in.

  Stop this, Dean. Don’t do this.

  Shut the fuck up. She’s mine.

  So many voices pulling me from right to wrong and back again. Shame, I can’t tell the difference between the two anymore.

  Her eyes are so heavy and she starts muttering incoherent words. I shut her door and turn to find Preslee right behind me.

  “What are you going to do with her?” she asks a little too late.

  “I’m going to kiss her and you’re going to take a picture. Send it to Josh, later. Let him know I’m taking back what’s mine.”

  Preslee drops her head and shuts her eyes briefly.

  For a second I think she’s disappointed, but then she rolls her shoulders back and smiles at me. “Consider it done,” she says, pulling her phone out of her pocket. She is a twisted bitch.

  I climb into the driver’s side and leer over to a sleeping, Riley. I flick my eyes to Preslee as I lean over and press my lips to Riley’s soft pink ones.

  “Josh?” she mutters sleepily.

  “Yeah, baby. It’s me.” I whisper against her mouth, lying words to relax her. Four letters leave her lips and my blood boils. Preslee snaps the photo with Riley’s lips tasting mine, thinking of his.

  Riley turns her head towards the light. “Preslee?” she questions, and then turns her eyes to mine, eyes that are cloudy but then aware.

  I smirk as I see her eyes widen with the realization of her mistake. I click the lock on the doors, and put the car in drive. She makes a strangled noise in her throat and leans far away from me. Her eyes bounce around the car, but blink rapidly, drowsily.

  It’s too late to change my mind or hers for that matter.

  In my car she keeps mumbling things that don’t make sense and yet do.

  “I shouldn’t be with you.”

  “I’m so drunk.”

  “Why are you so creepy?”

  “You and Preslee want to hurt me.”

  Those are the things that made sense.

  “I sang and it hurts.”

  “Pain…chest…heart empty.”

  “Step-brother and me, not fair.”

  “Liar broke his promise.”

  Those are the things that didn’t make sense.

  I could only fill in the blanks. From the letter he wrote her, the one I intercepted by a stroke of luck, I can fill in a few of those blanks without question.

  Josh dumped her. Josh had insecurities about me. That part was laughable. I don’t know what happened that night, but I know it must have been ugly for her to be like this now, for him to have written those words to her, but then again she hadn’t read those words because of me.

  Riley asked me to bring her to him, as if I could, or would. I know he’s in town, she doesn’t. I probably should call him, tell him she’s with me, but Preslee will cover that later. Right now, she’s mine.

  Fuck, Dean...she isn’t ever going to be yours.

  “Shut up!”

  “Huh?” she mumbles.

  “Sorry. I, uh, wasn’t talking to you. Go back to sleep.” I say, twining a curl around my finger as she shuts her eyes and breaths heavy. I just hope she doesn’t puke in my dad’s car. He will beat my ass, or my face. Well, if I knew where he was, that is.

  Once we pull up to my apartment I second-guess myself. Bringing her here is a mistake. Bringing her to him is not an option.

  So, take her home, you twisted shit.

  Ugh...the good Dean gets on my fucking nerves.

  I gaze down at her. She’s curled up so innocently on the seat with her hand resting underneath her cheek. Peaceful.

  I look around, thankful no one is nearby to witness this. I climb out of the car and over to her side. I open the door and contemplate my next move. Wake her and have her attempt to walk? Carry her and take the choice away?

  Carry her.

  I open her door, unfasten her seat belt and reach under her legs to pick her up. Her natural scent mixed with sweat is a heady concoction and I try not to inhale her, but it’s useless. She mumbles about her bed. I carry her to my apartment door with her head resting on my neck, and her warm breath killing my half innocent motives. I fumble with my keys in the lock and walk in my dark apartment of loneliness and despair. I kick the door shut with my foot and lock it. I carry her straight to my bedroom. If only she were walking there willingly this would be perfect.

  She isn’t you sick fuck!

  Ugh.

  I sit her down on my bed, which causes her to awaken.

  “Dean?” She’s alarmed. Her eyes dart around the room, blinking rapidly as she scoots away from me. “Where are we? You said you’d take me home.”

  I gaze down at her, at her shaking frame and hate myself. “No one was there, so I brought you here. I’ll sleep on the couch. It’s okay.” I shake my head and swallow down the lie. It’s not okay. She’s in my bed and drunk as hell...because of him. And I want her. My throat is tight. My stomach feels tight. The ringing in my ears is so loud I’m sure she must hear it.

  She sits very still and is openly staring doubtful beautiful eyes at me. I walk away to my dresser to grab her a shirt. “Here. Change into this. I’ll be just outside the room getting you some water and aspirin. You’ll need it.”

  She sighs, but takes the shirt. I contemplate watching her in secret, but I don’t. I do what I said I would, this time. In the kitchen, I grab a bottle of water out of the fridge. As I’m heading to the bathroom across the hall from my bedroom to get her the aspirin, I hear a thud and a curse.

  I walk back into my bedroom and fuck...just fuck! Riley has her shirt off and her jeans stuck across her calves. She obviously tripped on her feet and fell face first on the floor. She’s pushing up on her arms with her ass in the air. A heart shaped ass covered in the same crimson red material as her bra. Sinful. Tempting. Damn tempting!

  I place the water bottle on top of my dresser and crawl over to her on my knees. My heart is pounding in my chest. She hasn’t noticed me enter the room yet. She jumps and turns over just as my hand grabs her ankle.

  “Wha...what are you doing?” she asks with wide, fearful eyes crawling away. Good girl. You should be scared.

  “Let me help. It’s okay, baby. I’m just trying to help you. I won’t hurt you.” I whisper with my eyes locked with hers. Another lie. I can’t promise that. I do want to hurt her.

  She nods slightly as I grip her jeans and pull them the rest of the way off of her, letting my hands feel her silky skin in the process. I allow my eyes to leisurely travel the length of her sexy body. The sexiest, most sinful shade of red is covering her petite tan frame, although barely. Her body is petite but she has curves in all of the right places. She curls up, pulling her knees to her chest when she finds my eyes expl
oring her.

  Her head is resting against the side of my bed, barely remaining open. She yawns and the cutest little croak comes out of her throat. “Why are you being nice to me?” she asks.

  Mm. Am I being nice? She isn’t inside of my head, so I guess to her I am. I shrug.

  “Why do you always watch me, Dean? It creeps me out,” her voice becomes raspy with sleep. The truth falling from her lips easily due to the alcohol racing through her blood.

  I stare into her eyes, carefully choosing my words. “Because I have to. I can’t help it. You evoke something in me, I can’t explain.” Something wicked.

  “You scare me,” she admits.

  I should. I scare myself.

  I nod. She shuts her eyes and begins to breathe heavy. Asleep again. She is seriously wasted. Why does she do this to herself? Is he really worth all of this? My eyes track the path to my nightstand where his letter sits unread by her. He is so worth this. He’s everything you’re not, Dean. Everything you will never be to her.

  I pick her up and relish in the way her skin feels, so warm, so smooth. I lay her back down on my bed and she curls into her side. The tautness of her stomach tempts my hands to explore. She whimpers a little noise when I trail my index finger down her ribs, to her navel and across her lower abdomen. I should cover her with a blanket; she’s covered in goose bumps. But then you couldn’t stare at her skin in her bra and panties. Shit! What do I do with her now?

  Take what you want—what should be yours. She’s too weak to fight you.

  Fuck! No!

  Let her sleep. Call him to come get her.

  Hell no.

  She’s on top of my comforter, and instead of waking her; I grab a throw blanket from the top of my closet and cover her with it. She sighs softly and the sweet sound stirs an emotion in my heart.

  I take a minute to stare at her beauty. She really is something special—something I should have treasured. Cherished. Why didn’t I? I place a soft kiss to her cheek and back away quickly before I make another mistake.