Bulletproof Christmas

by Barb Han

  “Cold.” He smiled. It was the sexy out-of-the-corner-of-his-mouth smile and her heart free-fell.

  Then again, maybe she’d spent too much time in a confined space. She was losing it.

  “What’s the plan? My ankle is better today and so is my foot,” she said. He’d stopped off and bought a few supplies to make life more comfortable, one of which was hiking boots for her.

  “Sticking around in one place too long is how poachers end up caught. So they’re always on the move.”

  “That’s poachers. We’re looking for a murderer,” she said.

  “This guy used the same tactics I would’ve. I underestimated him before and that nearly cost us everything.” There was so much self-recrimination in his voice.

  “But we’re okay. We’re alive and I’m already healing nicely.” Was he as hard on everyone else as he was on himself?

  “My mistakes nearly killed you.” Anger boiled up and she was close enough to see his steel eyes darken. He fisted his coffee mug and his knuckles were white.

  There was no getting him to see reason when he was in this dark of a mood, so she didn’t try. Instead, she grabbed the small bag of bathroom supplies he’d made for her and headed out of the pop-up camper.

  This shouldn’t have come as a surprise to her. She knew Rory better than he probably knew himself. Not long after he’d come to work at the ranch, he’d accidentally given cold water to a few of the horses after exercising them and that had made them sick.

  He couldn’t have been there longer than six months when it happened and Carl Hambone—or Bony Carl as everyone like to call him—had covered for him before chewing him out royally. Cadence remembered stopping at the barn door when she’d heard shouting. Bony Carl was an old hand and it took a lot to rile him.

  She’d already had a crush on the young new hire, so she couldn’t help but listen to what Bony Carl had said to her father. She’d been shocked that he’d taken full responsibility. Said he’d gotten distracted with a sick calve and then took the fall, saying he gave the horses cold water after exercise. They’d come close to losing two due to colic.

  Rory must’ve heard, too, even though she didn’t catch him listening at the time. The very next morning, he was up early and had packed his stuff. He didn’t own much more than the clothes on his back. His entire life’s worth of items barely filled his rugged, worn denim-style backpack.

  She’d stormed into his room in the bunkhouse and had demanded he tell her exactly what he thought he was doing.

  Rory had told her that he had to go. That he’d done something wrong and it was time to move on. He’d told her to leave it at that.

  She’d planted her balled fists on her hips and dared him to try to get past her as she blocked the door.

  “You’ll listen to reason and that means owning up to your mistakes, Rory Scott,” she’d said as she blocked the door.

  “Is that right?” he’d asked.

  “Yes. There’s no use running from your mistakes. You have to face them or they’ll just follow you and grow bigger than you can imagine,” she said all full of sass and spice.

  “That’s what you think I’m doing? Running away?” he’d asked.

  “That’s what it looks like to me,” she shot back, thinking she’d just nailed it.

  “I told your father what I did,” he’d said.

  “And then what happened?” She was tapping her foot like an angry schoolteacher staring down an out-of-control class.

  “I got fired.”

  Her jaw fell slack and she couldn’t hide her mortification. “There’s no way. I’ll tell him he can’t do that—”

  “Your father has every right to take care of every animal on his property. He can run the place as he sees fit.” Rory threw his backpack over his shoulder and stalked straight toward her. “Are we done here?”

  And because she’d somehow convinced herself that he actually wanted to kiss as much as she did him, she threw her arms around his neck, closed her eyes and leaned forward to plant a big one square on his lips.

  She could not have misread the situation any more.

  Embarrassment flamed her cheeks just thinking about it. He’d turned his head to the side in time for her to miss. And then he’d gently taken her wrists and peeled them off him.

  “Are you trying to get me shot?” he’d asked incredulously.

  “No,” she’d defended.

  “You’re twelve, Cadence,” he’d said with that same self-recrimination she’d heard a few minutes ago in his voice. “I’m a teenager. It’s not right for me to kiss a sixth grader.”

  She didn’t figure this was the time to point out to him that he hadn’t. And she’d known even then that he was being gracious by saying so.

  Years later, when they shared a proper kiss, she’d pointed out that she’d been waiting a long time to kiss him.

  “That’s a lot of pressure,” he’d said. And then he kissed her until her heart pounded her ribs and she had a difficult time catching her breath.

  By then she was a grown woman and he a virile man. And the age difference from twenty-seven years old to thirty didn’t seem like such a wide gap anymore.

  She flushed thinking about how hot the sex had been.

  The past three nights she’d slept with him, bodies pressed against each other for warmth.

  Sleep had been fitful, worrying about what might happen, or if Dex, Wiry and Athlete, or someone else, stumbled upon their makeshift campground.

  And then there was her heart. She’d moved on from Rory.

  So why did her thoughts keep circling back to that kiss?

  * * *

  RORY DISASSEMBLED THE pop-up tent in less than ten minutes.

  After hanging around the camp for a few hours, it was time to go. Especially after waking for the second time with Cadence’s soft body against his, remembering how incredible the feel of her silky skin was as she lay next to him.

  Besides, his thoughts kept wandering back to the kiss they’d shared the first day they’d arrived at the campsite. He performed a mental headshake to clear the image of her pink heart-shaped lips. The memory of how they felt moving against his wasn’t helping.

  Suddenly, the cold shoulder she’d been giving him seemed like it was for the best.

  This was business, not personal. It was his job to keep her safe while the sheriff tracked down the person or persons hunting her. After three nights at this location, she hadn’t come any closer to figuring out who could want to harm her. He’d cut them off from the world and her disappearance would be news.

  One day until the will was going to be read.

  “I know where we can go,” Cadence said, returning with her bag filled with water, a toothbrush, soap and a washcloth.

  “Where’s that?” he asked.

  “The barn.”

  Dozens of memories involving her and her family’s barn tried to crash his thoughts. The bunkhouse had been the first place she’d made herself known to him. The thought of kissing a twelve-year-old when he was fifteen had felt all kinds of wrong, no matter how cute Cadence had been. Annoying, but cute. At fifteen, he’d felt like he was more of a man than a boy and she seemed so much like a kid in her highlighter-green halter dress and matching sandals.

  He stared at her, trying to look deep.

  “Think about it. It’s perfect. Where’s the last place anyone would expect me to go right now?” She wore the expression that said she knew she was right. Fist on right hip. Bottom lip in a slight pucker. It was damn sexy.

  “Nowhere seems safe to me, but especially not the barn,” he admitted. Again, a fist of guilt punched him. “That’s my fault, Cadence.”

  “That’s one way to look at it,” she said. “As far as I can tell, you’re the only one who’s been keeping me and the babies alive so far. On our own—” she pa
used “—I don’t even want to think about what would’ve happened.”

  Her gaze dropped to the ground and it looked like she was trying to hold back tears.

  “I don’t know if I expressed it before but I’m truly sorry about your father. He was a good man.”

  Cadence rolled her eyes and made a grunting noise. “I think we both know that’s not necessarily true. I mean, don’t get me wrong, he was my father and I loved him but he was no saint.”

  “He wasn’t perfect. There’s a difference. Most of his big mistakes were made when he was young,” he said.

  “Like having multiple children close in age? You know what that means, right? He wasn’t faithful to my mother, and I’ve always wondered if that was the reason she took off or if she just knew she could never love us. And let’s not forget the fact that someone hated him enough to want him dead.” He moved close enough to see tears welling in her eyes. She turned her face away to hide them.

  “It’s okay to be emotional, Cadence. You don’t always have to put up a strong front.”

  “Is that what you think I’m doing?” she shot back, her voice full of that spice he loved. Missed. The band around his heart tightened.

  She was gearing up for a fight based on her disposition. Fists down at her sides were clenched so hard her knuckles were white. Her normally full pink lips compressed into a thin line.

  He closed the distance between them and stood there. “Your mother leaving had nothing to do with you.”

  “If that’s true, why does it still hurt so much?” She blinked up at him. He never realized the impact her mother deserting her could’ve had on her, the effect being abandoned would have on her self-esteem. He’d always seen the Butlers, and especially the girls, as being confident and privileged. He knew them well enough to realize their lives weren’t perfect but he’d totally underestimated just how broken they could be deep down inside.

  Rory recognized the emotion in Cadence because it was the same one he’d felt his entire life. That he was broken and no one noticed. The world around him kept on spinning. His parents kept on hurting each other and by extension him and his sister.

  “I know how it feels.” His words were meant to offer comfort, reassure. He was surprised by a sob escaping before she buried her face in his chest.

  “What kind of parents can we possibly be to these babies, Rory? Neither one of us had a role model worth looking up to in the parenting department, and we don’t even get along anymore.”

  “We can learn a lot from our parents’ mistakes.” This wasn’t the time to debate their parents’ failures. “They don’t define us.”

  “I hid the truth from you. I know you, Rory. You’ll never trust me again,” she said. “How are we supposed to be good parents when we can’t trust each other?”

  She didn’t say that he’d run away from her when their relationship had heated up. She didn’t have to. He was already saying it to himself. And he was more convinced than ever that it had been the right move. Sure, it had hurt. He had the internal scars to prove that it had almost brought him to his knees. And yes, a weak part of him had wanted to show up on her doorstep more than a dozen times in the past five months. That was part of the reason he’d kept tabs on her whereabouts. His sensible side always kicked in and kept him from making a stupid mistake like that. He’d done that once when he let his feelings grow too strong for Cadence.

  He would only hurt her.

  Holding her in his arms, feeling her shaking, he knew that she deserved better.

  Cadence deserved commitment, a white-picket fence, hell, a minivan if she wanted one. She needed a man who would walk through the door every evening without fail. With his job, and it was the only life he knew, he couldn’t guarantee that.

  When he really thought about it, the babies deserved more than that, too.

  The thought of another man with Cadence and his children shot an angry fire bolt swirling straight down his spine. He had no right to feel that way if the two of them had no plans to get married and to bring up these children together. The fire bolt didn’t care about logic. It burned a scorching trail down his back.

  “There are two things I know for sure,” he began. “One. And this is probably the most important. You are going to make an amazing mother.”

  She looked up at him with those big eyes and his heart stuttered.

  “Two. We’ll figure out how to take care of those babies together. We’ll make mistakes but they won’t be the same ones as our folks. I can guarantee that much.”

  “How are we going to do that, Rory?” There was a straight-up challenge in her eyes.

  He didn’t say by keeping a safe distance from her or by not kissing her again.

  Because that’s exactly what he did, kissed her.

  “You’re not making this easy.” He said the words low as his mouth moved against hers when he spoke.

  But great sex wasn’t going to help the situation.

  And the sound of a twig crunching nearby sent his pulse racing.

  Chapter Eleven

  Rory took Cadence’s hand in his, linking their fingers. She followed him to the conversion vehicle that was ready to go. Her heart raced and she worried about the babies. She’d been under enough stress recently, between losing her father and the pregnancy, and now someone wanted to kill her.

  She placed her free hand protectively over her stomach. Whatever else was going on between her and Rory, she was glad he was the one helping her. Granted, he’d been shocked to learn he was going to be a father and he had every right to be upset. But he also cared as much as she did about protecting the little ones. She’d already seen the look in his eyes.

  “Get in.” He motioned toward the passenger side as he released his grip on her hand.

  Within a few minutes, they were clear of the camp, and they spent the next several hours driving around killing time. Her heart still thumped wildly but this time it was because she was thinking about the few kisses they’d shared. She needed to get a firm handle on her feelings for Rory, which had the annoying habit of careening out of control without notice. Hitting the wall in a fiery crash was certain if she let herself slip onto that racetrack again.

  Cadence liked to think she learned from her mistakes. She and Rory needed to get to a good place with each other and that would begin with letting him know how much she appreciated everything he was doing.

  “You’ve had a lot thrown at you all at once,” she began. Admitting she was wrong wasn’t the difficult part. Finding the right words to truly express it was more complicated. “I don’t think I’ve thanked you for what you’re doing for me and the babies.”

  “There’s no need,” he said without so much as a pause to consider her words. But that was Rory. He did the right thing like it was just expected, like everyone would. She knew it was part of his Texas upbringing, his cowboy code. Rory was not most people. No man from her past dating life had held himself to the same incredibly high standard.

  “I’d like to anyway. I’m sorry that I didn’t reach out to you sooner to tell you about being pregnant,” she continued, wanting to explain but not make excuses. “I was so sick the first trimester.” She saw his brow shoot up and realized that he wouldn’t have experience with pregnancy lingo. “The first three months,” she clarified.

  He nodded his understanding.

  “To be completely honest, I was terrified when I found out. You were gone, and I’m not blaming you for taking off and abandoning me. I could’ve handled the whole situation better.” She understood him better than he thought. He would die a slow death if he couldn’t be out on the range. She’d known it from that first summer he came to live on the ranch. He was almost as wild as the quarter horse her father had bought when he went through a horse-racing phase. The stallion her father had bought had a similar fire in his eyes as Rory. It was the first thing she’d
noticed about the new hire when he’d come to work and live on the ranch.

  Rory checked the rearview and she realized he was watching to see if anyone had followed them. That his gaze shifted back and forth a few times reminded her of the danger they were in.

  “What did Sawmill say after your father was murdered?” Rory changed the subject. She could tell by his demeanor that she’d made progress and it was time to give the topic a breather.

  “Everyone, including Sawmill, speculated that he’d gotten involved with a married woman because of the way in which he died,” she admitted. “Sawmill explained that he was looking at someone close to our father or to the family because the murder was personal. It occurred while he was in his own bed in his room in the barn.”

  “Landry didn’t see anyone coming or going.” He stated the obvious. He was thinking out loud, which was the way he liked to talk through an issue.

  “No. But my father didn’t like to bring women in the house around his children and he also didn’t like security knowing his business. He was private about his personal affairs. The main house was for family. His place in the barn was for...” She made eyes at him. “You know. His other activities.”

  “Who else did he suspect early on? Did he say?” Rory pressed.

  “He said that it could’ve been a jealous ex or his current girlfriend. I spoke to my sister about that, and we can’t imagine that Ruth would’ve done something like that and there was no evidence to prove she did. Besides, my sister and I had the feeling that Dad was going to announce their engagement soon. He must’ve been killed before he could ask her because Ruth didn’t know anything about it. She said he’d been acting different lately and he’d hinted that he’d be making a big announcement soon. Ella and I thought the same thing.”