I needed this fucking fight. This time, there was some serious cash in it for me when I won. And winning was my only option. No way was I going to serve drinks and clean up forever. And sure, lifting timbers and blocks all day helped keep me in shape, but it certainly didn’t pay all the bills. Not when I’d promised Grace a bigger house. Hell, I wanted to give her the fucking world.
No, I wanted to make something of my life. This way was just a little less conventional than I’d always thought. Grace was always telling me to think big. Well, here I was. Maybe one day she’d realise it was all for her anyway.
Grace and I seemed to avoid each other for the days leading up to the weekend fight. Not much had changed from our usual routine, but it felt forced like we were doing this on purpose because we knew we both wanted something else from the other.
It was a lot easier when we were kids, and I often thought about things being the way they were back then. Would I be satisfied with just being friends? A long time ago, maybe, but no, if I was honest, I wanted Grace for myself and had for a long time. I just refused to be the jerk who’d forced her to make a choice. Moving in together had been about bringing us together, but so far, it had just pushed us apart. If she wasn’t ready to admit her feelings, fine, I’d wait. I’d had plenty of practice, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to tap out the way Oliver had. Grace deserved someone who’d be there for her, no matter how much it fucking hurt.
That was me, not him.
In all the years we’d known each other, Grace had never let me down. She’d come to all of my important games when I was a kid. Zuri was right when he said she was my lucky charm. But it was because of the way that seeing her made me feel. Invincible. Like I was the only person in the world she saw. It was that magic spark that she gave me, and it lit a fucking fire within me when I needed it most.
And I needed her now.
As I prepared at home, she was nowhere to be seen. In fact, I hadn’t seen her since the night before. She’d cooked dinner and left some in the kitchen, before going to work. We’d passed each other as she left the house with nothing more than a small smile and a ‘hi’.
And now I had to leave, for my biggest fight yet, and I had no idea if I should expect her there or not. It fucking sucked, and it pulled my attention from where it should be—on smashing whoever was against me later tonight. That was how this worked. The guys running the show had several people, all like Zuri, all after their cut. Fights were scheduled, bets made, winnings taken. Rinse, repeat. The fighters got to move through the ranks as they proved their worth. Bigger, better, harder.
Leo met me around the back and helped me to get prepped. He was another of Zuri’s finds and fought just like me. We’d hit it off, and he was fucking brilliant at helping to psych me up.
And I needed to get my head in the fucking game. Right now. Shit.
“What’s up, Mads. Come on, dude.” He smacked me around the head and punched my shoulder a couple of times. It registered as an annoyance and stirred the anger that was never far away.
“Again. Seriously, man. I need you to make me see red.” I looked up at him. He didn’t understand, although not many did. I was just hardwired that way and had been since I could remember. Having Oliver as a brother had helped because I had someone to take it out on. This abundance of energy only grew darker and more explosive as I grew up. It became harder to control, the smallest thing, set it off, like a living thing mixed in with my blood.
“Mads, come on. I hate all that shit. Can’t you just take it out on the poor guy in the ring?”
“Do you want me to take a beating? Or do you want me to knock this guy’s head off? Just, throw some punches towards me. Keep me focused on you.”
We wrapped my hands—a methodical process that I only tolerated because it saved my knuckles. I’d tried to go without during a training session once. Big fucking mistake. But I didn’t have the patience, and Leo did. For a fighter, he was seriously fucking relaxed.
Leo stepped back and let me shake out my bad mood. We circled, throwing punches to warm up. It was all a ploy. I knew Leo would pick his time and strike me properly. That’s what I’d asked him to do, and he was no lightweight. He matched me well, but we’d never have to face off in the ring. Zuri put us forward for others to fight, not to break each other.
A few more moves left and right before he hit me. Then we were grappling with one another. It was what I needed to focus and kept my mind on the fight and the ring. As we continued to mess with each other, the din seeped through the building, drowning out even the music until the cheers were all I heard. My blood rushed through my veins, knowing what was going to come.
“You got this.” Leo grabbed my head and rested it against his forehead, gritting out the words through his teeth. “You got this!” I broke off and shook my arms loose, trying to stop my mind from wandering.
Some guy dressed in black and looking like he belonged on the door rather than back here, nodded in the direction of the corridor that led out into the ring. This was it. I slammed my fists into one another, and Leo shoved my mouth guard at me. “Say cheese, mother fucker. See you on the other side.”
The noise thundered around the club as the doors opened. It was deafening and only fuelled my adrenalin further. I wanted this.
I’d own that ring. Grace or not.
As I took my steps out onto my stage, I kept my head down, my eyes focused, just like before. I let the bellows fuel my rage, imagining they were against me, and that my next actions would prove them wrong. I was fitter, stronger, punched harder, and I’d show every fucker in here who Maddison Ray was.
I made my way to the ring and stepped up to the caged walls. As I waited, I cast my gaze around; unable not to look for the girl I needed to see. The disappointment would hurt, but hey, I was about to step foot inside a locked cage to fight a guy, with one purpose in mind—knock the fucker out cold. Pain, I could deal with.
My eyes raced to search for her familiar silhouette. All my life I’d been watching for her on the pitch, and I’d got pretty damn good at recognising her in a crowd. I zeroed in on the spot she’d stood last time, and to my surprise, she was there.
She was fucking there.
Alone.
Fuck.
My head snapped to where Leo stood with Zuri. No fucking time. It was too late for him to reach her. The thought of her up there, unprotected, with guys sniffing around, sent my teeth clamping down into my gum shield like I wanted to crack the thing in half.
“Arghhhh!” I howled, ready to get this done and get to her.
The crowd roared and cheered in another wave as my opponent finally made an appearance. I bounced on the balls of my feet, stretched my neck out, and rolled my shoulders, all while keeping Grace in the peripheral of my sight. She held all the power over me. Always had, always would and the fact that she’d come, despite everything, just made it all the sweeter. This guy, he was going to regret ever taking this match.
The stale smell of beer and sweat stuck in my nose as I inhaled and forced the air into my lungs. This sport didn’t have many rules, which was just the way I liked it. I could finally let myself off the leash.
We both nodded, the only signal we needed. Fight on.
He launched at me like a fucking rocket, taking me off guard and pile-driving me down into the mat. The impact winded me, and I was slow to respond. But I wrestled him off and made it back to my feet and started swinging. I might be limited in the training I’d had, but I made up for it with size and sheer force of will.
My fist made contact, reverberating through my arm to my shoulder like a mini shockwave. But I didn’t stop. I repeated and repeated, alternating my arms, my direction of strike, and my target point. Until the guy was pinballing from one hit to the other. He was so disorientated that he was like a rag doll. My feet moved back, giving him a breather before I decided to end this. This fight was meant to be harder. A bigger opponent. A challenge. Right now, I was somewhere between pissed o
ff and bored. He hadn’t even landed a punch.
I waited, double-checked to see if this guy really was on the ropes, and then went in for the kill. One, two, three. A combination of strikes that sent shudders through my own body as they landed on his torso, jaw, and face. He fell to the mat as the club exploded.
I turned around and looked directly to where Grace was. I saw her and beckoned for her to come down. The need to reach her and check she was safe, overrode everything else rushing through me. The adrenalin, the energy, the endorphins—none were a patch on my need for her.
She had a stubborn look on her face, and for a second, I saw her turning away, but she didn’t. One of the lads opened up the way so she could come down. I exited the ring and went to meet her, ready to sweep her up like the last time and wrap her in my arms.
Now I could relax, soak in the atmosphere and enjoy the night and what it meant. As fights went, it was fucking lame. This guy was easier than my last, and I needed to have someone to challenge me rather than win in under two minutes.
“Put me down.” I hadn’t realised I was still carrying Grace. I set her on her feet but didn’t let go of her hand. If it were up to me, she’d never let go of my hand.
She looked up at me as if she was waiting for me to say something. I could say plenty, but what I wanted to hear was why she’d come.
“Thank you for coming. I wasn’t expecting you to.”
“Well, what you said got to me. It was the truth. I know you’d never leave me, and I also know that you think you need me here.”
“Not think. Know.”
“Well, excuse me, but you just knocked that guy out in no time at all. You didn’t need to make me watch.”
She was pissed.
“Give me ten minutes, and then we’re out of here. We can go home.”
I looked around and found Leo standing off to the side of the ring, talking to some of the guys. Zuri seemed to want to speak but fuck him. I’d just made him a fat payday, so he could cut me some slack.
“Leo, watch Grace for me. I’ll go and grab my stuff.” We clasped hands, and he congratulated me with a slap on the shoulder that would have sent that lightweight still on the floor down.
I pushed through the people starting to crowd around and back to the area where we get ready. I grabbed my kit bag, shoved a clean t-shirt on, and returned to pick up Grace. We were leaving through the back. She’d made the effort to come, so I’d get her out as fast as I could.
She was pissed the entire ride home. I was surprised I didn’t see steam rising from her, she was so mad. Her arms were crossed defensively over her chest, lips pursed, and her eyes were locked forward on the road ahead.
“Are you planning on talking to me ever again?” I asked as I opened the front door and let her in.
“When you’ve decided to grow up.” She dumped her bag on the table and paced the front room. I could see she was wearing her good jeans—her words, not mine—but they sure as hell make her legs look fine.
“Careful what you wish for, you know you love me just the way I am.” I tried to lighten the mood, but that was the wrong decision based on the scowl she shot back.
“Are we going to go through this every time you fight? Because I’m guessing you’re not going to just stop now?”
“Nope. Sorry. But I had made peace with the idea you wouldn’t show. So, it depends on if you can cope with it or not.” I moved in towards her, crowding her, forcing her to face me.
“I don’t want to argue.”
“Neither do I.” I tilted her chin a little higher so she had to look right at me. It was my go-to move. Her eyes were fucking beautiful, and I knew making her look at me dropped her defences. I’d seen it.
I gave her a moment, hoping she’d just let go—for once—and give in. But the tension between us was too charged, and I wasn’t that much of a gentleman. Fuck it.
My lips smashed against hers, fast and hard, not allowing any room for her to back out. And to my shock, she finally played along.
At that moment, as she willingly opened up to me, and I tasted her passion, right then, I knew I would never give this up.
Grace was my new drug, and I was already addicted.
Chapter 18
Grace 19 Years Old
I was so mad at him. My arms shook from the exertion of holding onto myself. This had all been a game to him, and he hadn’t given a second glance to the guy he’d left bleeding on the floor of the ring.
Everything within me screamed just to walk away. Sod him, and his stupid fight with all the guilt he’d put me through to ensure I was here. He didn’t care. How could he when this was what he’d just done?
His reaction had been similar to the first time he was here, but mine wasn’t. As he spun me around, I couldn’t let go of my anger. It seethed under my skin.
The ride home gave me time to go over all the words I wanted to throw at him, but it was hard to string them together when the tension was so high between us, like electricity particles charging off one another.
The words started flying as soon as the door to the house opened, but he was playing with me. Trying to calm me down because he’d got what he wanted. But we couldn’t move on. We were on either side of the argument, and neither one of us would back down.
When he gave me the chance to make the first move, part of me wanted nothing more than to slap his cocky smile off his too-sexy face.
But then he kissed me.
There was nothing sweet about the way his lips met mine. It was almost punishing as though he was doing it on purpose, telling me off because I wouldn’t do as he wanted. It was poison, seeping into me, but it tasted too good to stop. I kissed him back, with everything I had. My rage, my disappointment, and my frustrations short-circuited my brain until all I could think about was Mads.
“I want you,” he growled as he moved his lips down the column of my throat. His touch melted away the animosity that had been so prevalent a moment ago, and I felt myself nodding in agreement. He took my hand and pulled me back out towards the hall and stairs.
Mads almost raced to get to the bedroom, but as his door opened, I froze. I couldn’t do this. Not like this. He pulled on my arm, but I didn’t cross the threshold.
“What’s wrong?”
“I can’t do this. At least, not like this. Not when we’re so angry at each other.”
His face dropped, and I could see flashes of frustration, marred with the anger I was talking about. “We both want this, Grace. You need to stop trying to put the brakes on us. Because I know we both want this.”
“Well, you won’t mind waiting for me then, will you?” I said defiantly, not ready to be pushed into giving him my virginity.
It was on the tip of his tongue to challenge me—to push me into this. That’s what Maddison was like—he wanted something, and he got it. But he knew he couldn’t win here.
His posture shifted, relaxing a fraction, and I forced myself not to see the boy who’d taught me to climb trees. We might have been fighting, but he was right. I had feelings for him, and it was stupid to keep denying that fact.
“Can we talk about this in the morning? Have breakfast.”
“Sure,” he mumbled, before walking farther into his room and leaving the door ajar. Perhaps his open invitation—but one I wouldn’t be accepting tonight.
Even with Bob’s rhythmic purring, sleep was a lost cause. There were too many questions and worries racing through my mind. It wasn’t like I didn’t want to be with Maddison. There was an undeniable attraction between us, which was getting impossible to miss. And his kisses were like sunshine and lust—searing and intoxicating and totally addictive.
And I loved him. The list in the pro column wasn’t lacking. But I didn’t want to wake up in the morning and wish we’d waited.
“Grace?”
I heard a gentle tapping and my name echoing around in my head.
“Grace?”
“Hmm,” I murmured from my sleep-dazed state
.
“Coffee. It’s on your desk. What time do you want to go for breakfast?”
The strong smell of coffee hit my nose as I blinked my eyes open to see Mads standing in my room. It certainly wasn’t a bad sight to wake up to. And then the memories from last night came racing back, and I closed my eyes, hoping to stave them off.
“What’s the time?”
“Just past nine.”
“Give me half an hour.” I pulled the covers over my head and tried to muster my courage to do this.
My initial awkwardness lingered like a bad cloud as Mads drove us to a local diner for breakfast. I could barely look him in the eye.
We found a booth and grabbed the menus stacked and ready to be read, all the while the background buzzing was getting louder and louder in my head. It had been my idea to talk, and I knew he was waiting for me to start. There was no way he was going to open his lips to discuss what was happening between us without the pressure to do it.
The waitress brought around a coffee, which we both gladly accepted, before placing our orders. The events of last night and the looming conversation had my stomach doing flips, so I settled for a toasted bagel compared to Maddison’s full English breakfast.
We went back to being quiet, so, I took the proverbial swan dive. “Last night, was it about me—or us—or was it just because of the win?” It was probably one of the biggest fears I’d had, a conclusion I’d arrived at sometime around three in the morning. And the question didn’t just include last night. Maddison always had to win at everything. If I’d relinquished, and he’d won me, would he lose interest?
He looked at me, and I studied the lines of his jaw, watching for signs of frustration.
The Two Halves of my Heart: A Friends-to-Lovers Romance Page 15