Robot Depot

by Russell F. Moran

  “So how can we possibly stop this from happening, Jack?” I asked.

  “Simple, Mike. I now require each inspector to hold his hands out to the security camera so we can see if he’s hiding a replacement solenoid. Also, we now scan each inspector with a metal detector before he starts his shift. Angus, am I making sense?”

  “It makes perfect sense. I just searched through my database and found that a solenoid can be turned into an explosive element with a simple receiver so that it doesn’t explode accidentally. It needs to be triggered by a device, either a remote signal or by use of a timing switch inside the replacement solenoid.”

  “Let’s take a short break,” Bellamy said. “Bennie and Mike, a word with you please?”

  We both looked at Bennie.

  “My job here today isn’t to evaluate all of that engineering stuff, but to assess whether the guy telling the story is lying,” Bennie said. “Well, he’s not. I look at about a dozen tell-tale signals of lying such as perspiration, eye movements, speech patterns, and general demeanor. There’s not a hint that this guy Winston is lying. If he gave me the name of a horse, I’d bet on it. Besides that, although this part isn’t my job, I found his engineering explanation to be credible as hell. This guy deserves a big raise, not an arrest warrant.”

  Jack Winston returned from the break.

  “Mr. Winston, we thank you for your straightforward answers during our interview before the break,” Bellamy said. “I just want to ask you some questions about the other exploding robot cases. We know about the explosions at the private homes, including Mike’s house, because you and Angus have pretty much covered those. But what about the Jameston Building in Chicago? All of the robots congregated on one floor. Your thoughts on that?”

  “There’s no sense having a robot if you can’t tell it what to do and where to go,” Winston said. “The problem with the Jameston bots was the same as we’ve discussed today—they were rigged to explode on signal, and somebody commandeered the device that sends orders to the robots. The problem with their all going to the same place was not a problem, just a useful and normal robotic function for the killers to take advantage of, which they did. The bots simply went where they were told to go.”

  “And how about the exploding drones at Yankee stadium, where Mike, Bennie and Mike’s wife were almost blown up?” Bellamy asked.

  “A drone is a different story. Once you have a drone in your possession, you can tamper with it to your heart’s content. They probably bought those drones at various Robot Depot locations around the country or online. Think of them like guns. Once you buy one, the manufacturer can’t control what you do with it. The same thing with the erratic robots on that cruise ship. Anybody can tamper with a product once it’s out of the wrapper.”

  “So we’re left with a primary suspect, George Livingston, but we don’t know where he is,” I said, “and we have no idea about the scumbags who attacked Yankee stadium.”

  “So let me summarize where we are, and if anybody has any input please let’s hear it,” Bellamy said. “I think our exploding robot problem will soon be over except for the few out there who don’t answer the recall. Between your brilliant quality control supervisor and your amazing colleague, Angus, you seem to have that problem under control. Mike, I think you should could go on national TV with your big recall, and I don’t mean just an ad, but nationally televised news programs. I don’t know how you can convince TV executives to do that.”

  “No problem with national news outlets, Rick. Our PR lady, Blanche Whiteacre, can get me an audience with the Pope if she wanted to.”

  “Any other thoughts?” Bellamy asked.

  “Drones are the big problem as I see it, Rick,” I said. “Yes, any exploding robots whose owners never get the message can be a problem, but it’s limited. I hate the idea of government regulation, but I sure as hell wouldn’t mind seeing some kind of restrictions on people buying drones. And that problem isn’t limited to Robot Depot. Shit, you can go to a local store and buy a flying drone from various manufacturers and fly it wherever you want, carrying whatever will fit, as long as you keep the thing under the FAA limit of 400 feet. If Jeff Bezos thinks he can deliver Amazon goods to a person’s doorstep, what can a terrorist do?”

  “My gut tells me we haven’t seen anything yet,” Bennie Weinberg said, “and that’s no bullshit.”

  Chapter Thirty Six

  “A terror spectacular, in answer to the question you’re about to ask me,” Jenny said.

  She had just returned from her meeting with the Army people in Maryland. I told her all about our meeting with Jack Winston, and our conclusion that he’s not one of the bad guys. I was about to ask her what her major concern was. As usual she anticipated my question and answered it.

  “Right as usual, Jen. I was about to ask you what you think is the biggest problem we’re facing.”

  “Mike, name some terror spectaculars, I mean big attacks that grab the world’s attention,”

  “Well, I’ll begin with 9/11, then the Boston Marathon bombing, the Paris shootings, the Jameston Building, which involved our stuff, and the Yankee Stadium drone attacks, which also involved our products. What do you think?”

  “What worries the hell out of me,” Jenny said, “is a terror spectacular that consists of thousands of little attacks, just like in guerilla warfare. With all of the crap that’s happened in the last few weeks, I think we’re right in the middle of a terror spectacular now. The house fires caused by our exploding bots come to mind. But what about a single actor, not necessarily a suicide bomber, who gets his hands on destructive devices that, when added together, result in one huge terror event. We’ve seen hints of it, with simultaneous bombings of trains in one city, or the multiple attacks in Paris. Imagine a bunch of terrorists who buy our floor cleaning bots. Even after the new quality control procedures that Jack Winston talked about at your meeting, nothing prevents a terrorist from going out, weaponizing a single bot, and turning it loose. Say a hundred scumbags do this in a hundred different cities. Now that’s a terror spectacular that’s easy to plan and easy to execute because the spectacular event involves a whole bunch of single attacks. Hey, we saw what happened to Yankee stadium. That was a carefully planned flight with hundreds of drones. What about simultaneous attacks on different stadiums all over the country. It would tie up news reports for weeks besides killing a lot of people.”

  “So what’s your thinking, hon?” I said. “You’re talking about events that are almost impossible to prevent, at least not on the scale you’re thinking about. Law enforcement has gotten pretty good at preventing big attacks, pretty good but not perfect. Think Yankee Stadium. But how the hell does law enforcement stop one guy, whose only contact with a central authority is that he was given a date, a time, and a place? How can you prevent something like that, the proverbial lone wolf?”

  “My thinking is that law enforcement, including the FBI and the CIA needs to infiltrate more than they are already,” Jenny said. “If you know about something in advance, you can stop it, but you’ve got to know about it. We’ve been looking at this problem as if it’s unique to Robot Depot. What about selective poisoning of local food supplies, or poisoning a fresh water reservoir? No robots involved there. I’d like to share my thoughts with Rick Bellamy, although I’m sure he’s ahead of me on this. It’s just that big stuff tends to crowd out small stuff.”

  “What you’re saying sounds like the beginning of a third world war,” I said.

  “That’s an accurate way of putting it Mike. Nobody’s named it yet, but I think we’re already fighting World War III.”

  Chapter Thirty Seven

  “How many?” I asked.

  “Five,” Blanche replied.

  “Have I told you recently how amazing you are, Blanche? Three days ago I asked you to set me up on major TV news shows, and already you’ve gotten me five placements.”

  “I just give the producer a stake in the interview, Mike. I didn’
t entice them with the CEO of a company who wants to make apologies for broken products. I emphasized that it’s a national emergency involving terrorism. The average time for a producer to get back to me was 10 minutes. I booked you with two Sunday morning shows, Neil Cavuto again for tomorrow afternoon, Wolf Blitzer for the next day, and—get this—Lara Logan wants you back on 60 Minutes for this coming Sunday. She wants to tape you on Thursday. We don’t want to duck the fact that the products involved were from Robot Depot, because the obvious purpose of the recall is to get people to have their robots checked out. You need to emphasize that terrorism is the reason for the bombings. People hate terrorism. It’s our job to show the world that Robot Depot a victim too. So you have three basic themes, the product recall, our new quality control, and that fact that we’re victims along with everybody else.”

  “What about drones, Blanche? They’re the big problem in the future, and there’s little we can do about it.”

  “But we’re not the only drone manufacturer.”

  “No, we’re not, but we are the biggest. I should emphasize that the drones that leave our facility are safe, but if a scumbag wants to put a bomb in one we can’t control the result.”

  “Great, but maybe don’t refer to the bad guys as scumbags,” Blanche said.

  “I think I should do a visual demonstration of how we inspect the robots as Jack Winston showed us. People will see that it was almost impossible for an inspection supervisor to see what happened.”

  “God, no, unless you’re asked,” Blanche said. “Visuals tend to stick with people. We don’t want to put a thought in their heads that Robot Depot is really Bomb Depot. Just explain how even an experienced supervisor did not see the piece being replaced. Now remember, these people are journalists and it’s their job to drill down and get to the facts. Yes, some of them will try to paint you as a bad guy, but most will ask questions that beg to be answered. Mike, I’ve seen you in action on TV so many times that I know you’re a cool cucumber under pressure, except when you wore that stupid fucking robot costume on that commercial. Your job is to be yourself and explain what happened, what we’re doing about it, and to make sure they call the 800 number if they own one of the suspect robots. And I want other executives to appear on TV, not just you, just like I did with Shepard Smith. I want to avoid a time when people turn on the TV and see your face and say, ‘Oh shit, what now?’ ”

  “We’ve even come up with a partial solution to the drone problem,” I said. “pretty lame if you ask me, but it’s something. We’re going to require photographic identification, such as a driver’s license, to buy a drone. Of course the innocent buyer of a drone has nothing to worry about. Requiring a photo ID shows that we’re diligent. The law doesn’t require it but we will.”

  “Mike, it’s going to take a lot more than showing that we’re diligent. You’ve got to show the world that Robot Depot is a force for good, and that’s why the bad guys are after us.”

  Chapter Thirty Eight

  “Yankee Stadium was a wonderful success, my brothers,” Farouk Mahmood said. “You showed how the wings of death can swoop down on the infidels without warning and cause enormous destruction.”

  Farouk Mahmood, one of the most powerful leaders of ISIS, was meeting with the two men responsible for the drone attacks on Yankee Stadium. They met at an ISIS “safe house” in Fairfield, Connecticut. Ali Mujahedeen, his chief lieutenant was also at the meeting.

  “Ali, I don’t believe you’ve met these two brothers before, Walter Buono and James Flager. They are known by their infidel names on my orders. I am pleased to introduce my most trusted advisor and operative, Sheik George Livingston, better known among us as Ali Mujahedeen. His work as an insider at Robot Depot made all of the attacks we’ve discussed possible. ”

  “The timing of the event could not have been better,” Livingston said, a ‘Subway Series’ between New York’s two professional baseball teams. I must also commend you on your choice of locations for the drones prior to the attack. Ten different launch sites meant that the mission became a success before anyone noticed. With every action like the one you two carried out, the infidel cringes before the Islamic State.”

  “The past two months have given us much reason to praise Allah and the good fortune he has bestowed on us,” Mahmood said, “and one company, Robot Depot, has provided us with the weapons of destruction. Since Brother Livingston infiltrated the company we’ve seen vast destruction caused by bomb carrying robots, from private house fires, to the destruction of the Jameston Building in Chicago, to the chaos aboard that cruise ship, to the drone attack at Yankee Stadium. The infidel is learning to tremble before us.”

  “Perhaps you should share with our young brothers here what you told me before,” Livingston said to Farouk Mahmood.

  “What Ali is talking about, brothers, are our plans for the future. It is critically important that we lurk in the shadows and do not call attention to ourselves. You two have taken your Western names, which is good, but we must also be careful with our conversations, and especially never to speak in Arabic. All of us need to become a part of the scenery and not stand out. We will become invisible so that we may kill the infidels with the explosions and fires of hell. Our insiders tell us that there are 877 private houses in the country that contain explosive robots. We are working on plans to fly drones over the houses and detonate the devices with a signal as we’ve done in the past. Our objective is to create as many explosions as near in time as possible in order to create chaos.”

  “Sheik Mahmood, can you tell us about any plans that may be in the works for attacking the robotics in driverless cars?” Said Jim Flager, one of the Yankee Stadium attackers.

  “We are waiting for a critical mass of such vehicles to take to the roads. We don’t want to tip our hands and give the infidel time to create countermeasures. Our current plan calls for attacks on driverless cars when 10,000 of them are on the road, not just as experiments, but in operation as private vehicles and cars for hire. Our studies tell us that the competition is heating up for manufacturers and users such as Uber. That company will save a fortune when it doesn’t need to pay its thousands of drivers. We will see to it that there are not only driverless vehicles but wrecked vehicles. Once we’ve placed enough explosive robotic devices in a large number of cars, we can cause chaos at rush hour in major cities when suddenly out-of-control robot cars slam into regular cars and trucks.”

  “The sacred caliphate will soon be upon us, thanks to your leadership, Sheik Mahmood,” Buono said. “And thanks also to the bravery of Brother Livingston.”

  “I caution you, my brothers,” Mahmood said, “do not ever use the infidel name George Livingston. Brother Ali Mujahedeen works for the praise of Allah in the shadows, as do we all, the Shadows of Terror.”

  Chapter Thirty Nine

  “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, I’m Lara Logan for 60 Minutes, reporting from the corporate offices of the automation giant, Robot Depot. A few weeks ago we taped a segment at one of the Robot Depot stores where I interviewed Mike Bateman, CEO and founder of the company. Mr. Bateman took us on a narrative tour of the modern world of robotics and artificial intelligence. Mr. Bateman disputed the claims of many who find that robotics and AI are responsible for a huge change in the American job economy, especially the disappearance of blue collar jobs like cab driving, truck driving, and food service positions across many fast food outlets the world over. Mr. Bateman, or Mike as he prefers to be called, gave us a different picture, one of optimism.”

  As was prearranged, Joe, the coffee bot wheeled up to Lara Logan with a tray of coffee.

  “Thank you, Joe,” Lara said.

  “Mike is in favor of guaranteed jobs to replace entry level and manual labor with a host of exciting ideas for the future,” Logan continued. “To listen to Mike, you felt confident that Robot Depot is a force for good, not a job-slaying dragon as many have suggested. Their most exciting recent invention is an artificial intelligence
medical database that diagnoses just about any disease or syndrome imaginable. At a recent presentation at Columbia Presbyterian Medical Center, a Robot Depot artificial intelligence robot named Angus was pitted against 150 physicians in a contest to see who could accurately diagnose 17 real medical cases. Angus correctly diagnosed all 17, including five cases that had resulted in death. Angus took 15 seconds to read the symptoms and background of each patient, compared to eight and a half minutes for the human doctors, and he didn’t make a single mistake.

  “But the picture isn’t entirely bright, and it’s got nothing to do with Mike Bateman. The world of terrorism has discovered Robot Depot, and the results are staggering. In a matter of weeks Robot Depot machines have been implicated in six house fires, including the Batemans’s own home, a crippled cruise ship, the destruction of the Jameston Building in Chicago, and the horrific attack on the Yankees-Mets game at Yankee Stadium. We asked Mike Bateman to join us again, along with his wife Jenny Bateman, the company’s Vice President for Product Development.

  “Mike, please give us your reaction to the horrible scenes of violence that have involved your company’s products.”

  “In a word, Lara, sabotage, and we believe it’s terrorism. A man who worked in our quality control department suddenly disappeared. Not only did he disappear, but an FBI agent who went to his house to execute a search warrant, was blown up after he stepped on a booby trap. I can’t speak for law enforcement, but as of now we have no idea where the saboteur went.”

  “Mike, please tell us more about quality control at Robot Depot,” Logan said. “People are questioning how a quality control procedure could enable robots to leave the plant with bombs attached. How could that happen?”