Gadgets: The Great Escape

by David Hancock

  The ‘snake’ or ’crocodile’ that Mr. Abercrombie had seen in the distance from the top of the fountain was a happy band of kitchen gadgets all in good spirits on their way to the island of bushes. The huge lawn seemed deserted in every direction. Smooth and beautifully manicured, the little gadgets found it a pleasure to march across.

  ‘This is pleasant,’ remarked Forque who had insisted on getting up off her bed and walking even though Marvin and Harry and Neville the sandwich maker said they would continue to carry her. Even now they were always close by in case she felt tired. But Forque was determined she was going to keep up with the rest of them.

  She turned to Jenny the juice extractor and said: ‘So where exactly are we going Jenny? And more importantly why?

  ‘Hasn’t Blade told you?’

  ‘Erm, no. But then he is so busy organising everything with Lee-Mailer and The General I didn’t really want to bother him. I mean I don’t really mind where we go. Wherever Blade goes I go with him. We were created together in Taiwan and destined to be together in the same block of wood, a carving knife and his companion.’

  ‘Oh that’s lovely,’ said Jenny. ‘But the plain fact is love, we’re on the run.’

  ‘What have we done? ‘ replied Forque, alarm in her voice.

  ‘Oh we haven’t done anything. It was what was being planned to be done to us.’

  And so Jenny started to explain to Forque everything the gadgets had discovered while she had been kidnapped by Zack.

  ‘They were going to do what!’ said Forque in horror.

  ‘Yes it’s true. All of us redundant and rejected gadgets were going to be sold into some sort of slavery on an Internet auction site and be turned into second-class gadgets. We were going to be the laughing stock of any worktop we might eventually arrive at. Can you imagine, not being brand new, not even nearly new, but,’ and Jenny paused for emphasis. ‘A second-hand gadget.’

  Forque shuddered. A carving fork of her style and brilliance would never have been able to live down the shame.

  ‘So,’ continued Jenny. ‘Your man and the other leaders hatched a plan to get us out of the kitchen, and now we’re on the run,’ she added with a smile on her face.

  ‘Running to where?’

  ‘Oh yes, sorry. The idea is to get to the old broken-down Wendy House at the side of the overgrown area right at the bottom of the garden. No one goes there anymore. And Blade reckons we will be safe for a while and can do it up and have our own space where we can be first class gadgets once again just looking after ourselves. Or if we want to move on it will be our own decision that matters. We will be free.’

  ‘Well said, well said,’ interrupted Toaster with a hand-clap, and a look of disgust in his eyes.

  ‘Oh it’s you Toaster,’ replied Jenny with disdain. ‘You might have fooled everyone else into thinking you’ve changed. But you can’t fool me. You’re rotten through and through.’ And she turned to her friend. ‘Come on Forque,’ she said. ‘Let’s go and walk somewhere else.’ And off they went, catching up with Warren the warming plate.

  ‘Hello ladies,’ he said in his chirpy accent. ‘Nice day for a stroll.’

  ‘Oh Warren,’ said Forque. ‘I haven’t had a chance to thank you for straightening me out. It was so good of you.’

  ‘Don’t worry darling, the pleasure was all mine,’ he replied, remembering how he laid on the carving fork and made her metal malleable with his warmth. ‘All mine’, he grinned.

  ‘Well’, said Jenny, eager to change the conversation. ‘What do you think of Toaster? Everyone says he’s changed for the good after Blade rescued him from the dustbin. But I don’t know. He still looks odd to me.’

  ‘I’m sure he’s right as rain now,’ replied Warren. ‘You’re just an old gossip Jenny, you’ll never change,’ he laughed and with a cheery smile added: ‘Well I must be off, need to have a chat with old Benzo, he’s been looking a bit down in the dumps.’

  Benzo the 12-speed glass blender was really a Blend-4-U 8391 which had ice crushing blades and was made in Russia. And that was the problem, Benzo had never mastered English correctly and as none of the other gadgets spoke Russian he always felt left out and on his own.

  ‘Hey’, said Warren, bouncing up to Benzo. ‘Time now we speaka da lingo.’ Benzo smiled and looked completely bemused. Warren probably wasn’t the best and most articulate person to be an English teacher but he was the best that Benzo had.

  Up at the head of the gadget train Blade and Lee-Mailer were remarking how calm everything seemed after all they had been through. The island of bushes was just up ahead and they planned to stay there for a while and rest. There were large trees scattered over the undulating lawn but the bushes were the best place for a stop.

  ‘If things keep going so well,’ we should be at the bottom of the garden sometime this afternoon and then we ought to be safe,’ said Lee-Mailer.

  ‘I agree, but we must still keep a watchful eye out. We mustn’t get complacent and drop our guard. Make sure that message gets out to The General and Deep Fat. It might look like it, but this ain’t no stroll in the park.’

  ‘Yes sir.’

  While Lee-Mailer was sending the orders, via Marty and Mary, for everyone to keep a watchful eye out and be on their guard, ironically no one noticed Toaster drop the poisoned berries into Jane Dough’s Nut Raisin Dispenser.

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