Thursday's Child

by Pat Santarsiero

  “No, it was not!” insisted Bingley. “I believe I said that she was a heavenly creature.”

  “Oh, I hadn’t realized the distinction.”

  “What are you getting at, Darcy?” demanded Bingley.

  “I’m merely trying to point out that you have a tendency to fall for every beautiful girl you meet, regardless of their feelings for you or their situation,” explained Darcy.

  “I thought you said you had no intention of talking me out of seeing Miss Bennet?”

  “And I meant it. If you are sure of Miss Bennet’s feelings for you and if you have no problem with the fact that she is employed as a governess, then I would not try to talk you out of it. I’m sure her family will be quite pleased with the prospect of you for a son-in-law. That would help their situation most decidedly.

  “I’m only suggesting that you take a step back and look at the situation from every aspect before you make any decisions about your future. As your good friend, I only want what’s best for you, Bingley.”

  Bingley found he could not respond unkindly to Darcy’s sincere request. “Well, I only promise to give your words some thought. After all, I know you would not advise me unwisely.”

  Now that Darcy was convinced that “Lizzy” was not Miss Bennet’s sister, he held no real objection to Bingley courting her, aside from her lack of fortune and connections. However, considering Bingley’s history with women, he felt some justification in his words of caution, and he had kept his word to Caroline in expressing his concern. He could now return to Pemberley with a clear conscience.

  “That is all I ask, Bingley. Shall we order lunch then?” asked Darcy, glad to have that topic of conversation behind them.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Darcy eyed the secluded cottage with trepidation. He allowed his horse, Marengo, to slowly amble upon a large ridge which afforded a perfect view of the grounds. As he sat there gazing down on the small but pretty cottage, his heart beat loudly in his chest, just knowing she was there causing both panic and longing. He was not totally convinced that this was a good idea. He had changed his mind several times along the way.

  Even now, he still was undecided as to his next course of action. Would he travel down the path that led to the gate, or was just knowing where she was the reassurance he needed?

  He could make up some excuse as to why he had come. Did he need an excuse? Was it not enough just to be concerned for her wellbeing and that of his unborn child? Certainly he had that right.

  With much hesitation, he dismounted and led Marengo down the path to the gate and tied his reins to a nearby tree branch. As he made his way towards the door, he tried to think what to say to her.

  He would be polite, of course. He would inquire as to health. He would make sure she had everything she needed. And above all, he would conduct himself as a gentleman.

  He adjusted the lapels of his greatcoat and knocked on the door. A plump young woman with a pleasant smile answered his knock and asked him his business. He remembered now that Mr. Gallagher had mentioned that a local girl had been retained to help out. She stared at him in wait for his reply. “I have business with the mistress of the house,” he informed her.

  She curtsied and told him to wait in the small sitting room. Darcy entered the cottage and looked around him. It was indeed tiny, but he felt it somehow fit its mistress perfectly.

  As soon as she entered the room, he could feel her presence. He turned to look at her; as he did, a look of surprise shown upon her face. She was more beautiful than he had remembered. His first impulse was to rush to her and take her in his arms.

  Elizabeth was at first stunned into silence. Her second reaction was one of embarrassment as her mind immediately recalled her actions upon their last encounter. Her complete abandonment of propriety on that occasion had been fuelled by the knowledge that she would never see him again. Certainly she never would have acted so wantonly had she ever expected to again be in his company.

  “William! What are you doing here?” she asked, the look of surprise changing to confusion and morphing just as quickly to fear.

  “I was assured that Mr. Gallagher would be the only person to know of my whereabouts.”

  “Please forgive my intrusion,” said Darcy. “I know this is quite unexpected, and I must assure you that your identity has not been compromised. I had business with Mr. Gallagher recently in London, and I’m afraid I used trickery to learn of your present location.”

  “Trickery, sir?” asked Elizabeth as she arched an eyebrow at him.

  He remembered that look. He also remembered what had followed that look. God, not being able to touch her was torture.

  Looking into her eyes as she waited for his reply, he continued. “I requested to see the leasing bill for the cottage and noted the name of the leasing agency. I then visited the estate agent. He was only too happy to oblige me with the address when I offered to pay the entire lease in advance.”

  “You seem to have gone to a great deal of trouble to find me. May I inquire why, sir?” asked Elizabeth.

  “I had to see you again,” said Darcy, knowing it would be senseless to lie. “You have been much in my thoughts. I know we were never to meet again, but I could not help myself. I wanted to see you once more.”

  Knowing that her identity was safe comforted her somewhat, but she did not understand his meaning by coming there.

  “What did you hope to accomplish by seeing me again?” asked Elizabeth.

  That was indeed an excellent question. One for which he had no answer. Truly he was hoping her presence would pale in comparison to his memory of her. He was hoping her eyes were not as dark and seductive as in his dreams of her. He was hoping her essence was not as intoxicating as when last he held her. He was a fool to have entertained such hopes.

  “I wanted to assure myself that you were well and that you were comfortably situated.” With some hesitation he added, “I was hoping that you wanted to see me again also, Lizzy.” He moved closer to where she stood.

  “Forgive my manners, sir. Please sit down,” said Elizabeth uncomfortably. “Hannah,” she called, “please bring some tea.” The young woman made a brief appearance at the doorway to acknowledge that she had heard the request and was gone again in an instant.

  Elizabeth sat down on the divan and offered William the chair across from her. She eyed him suspiciously.

  “I believe that your part of our agreement has been fulfilled, sir. I am with child as was our intention, and I have received the compensation we agreed upon. I can see no reason why we should need to meet again.”

  Hannah returned with the tea and placed the tray on the table between them.

  “You need not bother, Hannah, I will pour,” said Elizabeth. “I will call if I need you.”

  “Very good, Miss,” said Hannah as she left the two alone in the small room.

  Handing him his tea, her nervousness was obvious. She bit down on her lip to try to steady her nerves as well as her hand as he took the offered cup.

  “I must admit I am surprised to see you here,” said Elizabeth. “The agreement stated quite clearly that once I was with child, we should not meet again. I believe Mr. Gallagher said that point was one of the conditions on which you were most vehement.”

  “I know that my coming here is highly improper, and I have done so at the risk of injuring those who are most dear to me,” said Darcy. “I offer no excuse other than my own selfish desire to be in your company one last time. Unless . . .”

  “Unless what, sir?”

  Darcy stood and began to pace the carpet, running his hands through his hair. As he turned to look at her, he searched her eyes for some sign of understanding. He returned to sit beside her on the divan, leaning his body towards her as he inhaled her lavender scent, bringing back memories that were painfully exquisite; memories he had tried to forget.

  “Have you not thought upon our time together?” he asked. “Have you not wished that we might again share the closen
ess we once had? Surely you cannot deny your feelings.”

  He could not help himself. He needed to be in the comfort of her arms once more. He quickly rose to his feet, pulling her up into his embrace as he did. With a swift motion he lowered his head and secured his lips upon hers. He sighed as their lips met, and his arms automatically went around her, enfolding her in his embrace. Remembrances of their last encounter filled his memory. He knew he had already crossed the line of decorum, but his passion, not his head, was now controlling his actions.

  Elizabeth was unsteady on her feet as she grabbed the lapels of his coat to maintain her balance. As she started to speak in protest, he took advantage of her now open mouth to deepen their kiss.

  One of his hands slid up her back and foraged through her hair, holding her head in place to keep her lips securely intact with his own. His other hand now had free reign over the delicate curves of her body.

  For one stolen moment Elizabeth allowed herself the guilty pleasure of his intoxicating kiss as she reacquainted herself with the sweet familiar taste of his mouth and revelled in the warmth of his embrace before she struggled to release herself from his hold upon her.

  “Sir, this is not to be borne! Are you suggesting that we continue in the same manner as we did in St. Andrews? Are . . . are you asking me to be your . . . your mistress?”

  The tension in the room was palpable. They stood there, looking at the each other, afraid to breathe.

  “Yes.”

  He took in a large breath of air, as if shocked by his own response. Undoubtedly he had dreamed about such a thing; he had allowed himself to fantasize about it often, but certainly he had never expected to suggest that they actually engage is such a relationship. He already regretted his answer.

  He felt his heart pound in his chest. As much as he wanted her, he would never ask her to take on such a role. He had never given any thought ever to taking a mistress. What was it about this woman that made him disregard his every good intention and behave as he should not? Would he sound foolish now to withdraw his offer? It did not matter, foolish or not he must tell her it was a mistake.

  “Lizzy, I must . . .

  But before he could get the words out, she spoke.

  “Sir, what you suggest is quite out of the question. Were you the last man in the world, I would never agree to be your mistress. I must insist that you leave at once.”

  He breathed a sigh of relief that she had refused him. What would he have truly done had she willingly agreed? However, despite his relief, he could not help but react to her offensive words and total dismissal of him. His pride overtook his common sense; he had to know why she had refused him.

  “And is this all the reply I am to expect?” asked Darcy. “I might ask why with so little regard to your situation, you have rejected me? Is the prospect so abhorrent to you?”

  Elizabeth could feel her indignation rising and with a calmness she did not truly feel, she gathered her courage and addressed him.

  “And I might ask why with so evident a desire to offend and insult me you have come here under the guise of concern for me and your unborn child, while your true intention was to engage me as your mistress?”

  She now looked directly into his eyes, her emotions spurring her on. “Sir, when you speak of injuring those most dear to you, I assume you speak of your family.” Elizabeth closed her eyes for a brief moment and took a breath before she continued.

  “I, too, do not wish to see innocent people injured. I was foolish enough to believe that while I was resolving my family’s financial burden by entering into our agreement, that I was also doing something good and noble for someone else.”

  Darcy was about to speak, but she put up her hand and said, “Please, sir, let me have my say.

  “My first reaction to your suggestion was anger. But, upon reflection, l can understand why you would think that a woman who would sell herself and her child would easily agree to be your mistress.” In a voice just above a whisper she said, “I am not proud of myself.

  “I have no false expectations as to my future. But whatever my future holds, I am convinced that it will not include such an arrogant and selfish man as yourself. I may no longer be considered a lady, but you, sir, have behaved most ungentlemanly. If you seek a mistress, I suggest you look elsewhere. I desire no such attachment.”

  “You have said quite enough, Madam. I will not impose myself upon you further. I need only your assurance that you intend to fulfil the remaining terms of our agreement.”

  “I have given my word, sir, and will abide by our agreement.” With that she walked towards the door. “And I must have your word that you will also abide by the terms of our agreement and not seek me out again.”

  “You can be assured; I shall not bother you again. I’m sorry to have taken up so much of your time. Please accept my best wishes for your health and happiness.” He afforded her the slightest of bows and was gone.

  Elizabeth’s legs barely carried her back to the divan. As tears threatened, she felt the quick movements of the child within her and sighed.

  “Well, I see you and I are of the same opinion of your father, little one. He makes me want to kick someone, too.”

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Christmas at Pemberley was as festive a sight as was to be seen. Darcy had made sure that no expense was spared to ready the grand house for the occasion. Decorations adorned all the common rooms, and the most splendid of the many handsome fir trees on his property was selected to be displayed in front of the window in the music room. Darcy had chosen this room as it was the one in which Anne and Georgiana spent most of their day.

  Five days before Christmas, Richard arrived with his parents, Lord and Lady Matlock, and his elder brother, the Viscount of Matlock, with his wife and their two children. Lady Catherine arrived the following afternoon, demonstrating her usual flair for the dramatic; lamenting on her long journey, the cold weather, the horrid condition of the roads, and, strangely enough, the lack of cushions in her carriage. Darcy wondered if it was possible that Lady Catherine and Caroline Bingley were somehow related. They both seemed to have the same innate ability to offend his sensibilities.

  On Christmas Eve, as was tradition, a large feast was provided for all the tenants on his land. Many of them had gone carolling, and their voices could be heard through the cold night air. Darcy was trying to make this the best Christmas Anne had ever had. After a large and well turned out dinner, they withdrew to the music room for some Christmas carols.

  Georgiana’s confidence was indeed growing in the company of Anne. Normally she would never have thought of performing in front of such a large number of people but, with Anne’s encouragement, agreed to play the pianoforte and even offered to sing, as long as Anne would accompany her.

  Anne, knowing that she would not be able to get through an entire song without coughing, declined her sister’s offer, suggesting instead that Christmas carols should be sung by everyone. And indeed, everyone joined in.

  As the night wore on, Darcy could not help but notice Anne’s fatigue. As he made his way over to her, she smiled up at him. “Oh Fitzwilliam, this is indeed the happiest Christmas I have ever experienced!” He sat down beside her and took her hand.

  “I’m happy to hear you say it. I believe that was my intention,” he said, giving her his most devastating smile. She couldn’t help but laugh at his self-satisfied grin as he squeezed her hand. “Do you think you should retire for the evening? We still have another busy day ahead of us.”

  “Perhaps you are right. I do not want to overdo it. Will you take me up, Fitzwilliam?”

  “It would be my pleasure” he replied as he smiled at her.

  When they announced that Anne would be retiring for the evening, the rest of the company agreed that perhaps they all should do the same. They would all be departing tomorrow following the Christmas brunch, except for Richard who had two more days before he was expected back at his regiment. Even Georgiana would be depart
ing to Matlock to spend a few weeks with her aunt and uncle.

  As the group disassembled, Darcy took Anne’s hand and led her up the staircase to their respective chambers. Stopping at her door, he kissed her on the cheek and wished her a good night. When he was about to depart, she clutched his hand again and brought it to her lips. She kissed it lightly. “Fitzwilliam, you have indeed made this the best of Christmases. Would it be ungenerous of me to ask one more thing of you?”

  “You know you can ask anything of me, Anne. If it is mine to give, you shall have it,” he answered.

  Hesitating somewhat, she finally asked, “Would you spend the night with me?” A blush coloured her pale face as she spoke. “I know that we cannot be intimate, but I would be most content just to lie in your embrace.”

  He looked into her eyes and saw the love she had for him. How he wished he could return that love. He knew he did not feel the same love for her that she felt for him, but he recognized that love comes in many forms, and, in his own way, he did love her very much.

  He pulled her into the warmth of his embrace, and she melted into his arms. Then he easily lifted up her slight body and opened the door to her bed chamber, closing it behind them.

  ~*~

  Elizabeth Bennet had still not fully recovered from the effects of her visitor. She wanted to hate him for his arrogance in thinking she would agree to be his mistress. But she could not. Whatever the circumstances of his life were, she would not judge him. How could she judge him without judging herself?

  It had been most shocking to see him standing there in the sitting room of the tiny cottage, his looming presence causing it to appear even smaller. She was sure she had turned crimson as their eyes first met.

  With some embarrassment she would acknowledge the fact that she had fantasized about him often over the last four months. However, his short visit had done much to dispel all her fantasies. His arrogance and conceit had been revealed to their fullest.