Thursday's Child

by Pat Santarsiero

  “What?”

  “I knocked several times before I entered, but you did not answer.”

  “I guess I was thinking about this afternoon,” replied Elizabeth.

  “Well, you do look so much better, Lizzy. You were white as a ghost,” said Jane.

  “Yes, I guess a little rest was all I required.”

  “That is what Caroline Bingley said.”

  “What do you mean?” asked Elizabeth as she finished fastening the tortoise shell comb into her hair.

  “Miss Bingley mentioned you had spent most of last night in the library reading.”

  “Yes . . . I guess I did,” said Elizabeth, unsettled by the remembrance of her dream.

  “Shall we go downstairs together? Charles has informed me that dinner shall be served within the hour,” said Jane.

  Elizabeth smiled at her sister and nodded. She gave her reflection a final glance and braced herself for the evening before her.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  The two sisters entered the parlour and were immediately greeted by Mr. Bingley. “It is a pleasure to see you so well recovered, Miss Elizabeth.”

  Georgiana immediately came to her side and echoed Mr. Bingley sentiments. “It would give me great pleasure, Elizabeth, to introduce you to my brother.” The young girl took Elizabeth’s arm, leading the way.

  Elizabeth allowed her eyes to glance towards the window. He stood there with his back to the room, tall and erect, his hands clasped behind his back. She remembered those hands caressing her body, touching her, arousing her. In a moment he would turn towards her, and she must not react. She would not give him that pleasure; she would show him that her heart was now immune to him.

  Darcy heard the sisters enter the parlour, and he listened as Georgiana offered her their introduction. Staring out the window, he waited. She was approaching, and in a moment they would be face to face. He tried to prepare himself. Would his feelings show? Would she know the moment she saw him, how much he had missed her, how many nights he had longed for her?

  “Brother,” Georgiana called, beckoning him to turn towards them, “May I introduce Miss Bennet’s sister, Miss Elizabeth. Miss Elizabeth, may I present my brother, Mr. Darcy.”

  Their eyes met and held for a long moment as if each was trying to gauge the other’s reaction. Darcy executed his most proper bow before finding his voice. “I . . . it is a pleasure to meet you, Miss Elizabeth. I am happy to see you have suffered no ill effects from this afternoon.”

  Elizabeth managed an unsteady curtsy. “I thank you . . . Mr. Darcy, for your kind words and also for your coming to my aide. I understand it was you who brought me back safely to the house.”

  “I was happy to be of assistance. I trust you are fully recovered?” he asked.

  Hardly thinking herself fully recovered from the shock of seeing both her child and William, but noting the others in the room awaiting her reply, she offered, “I’m afraid a combination of brandy plus some sleeping powders last evening had an adverse effect upon me. I guess my fainting was one of the results. I do not anticipate any further consequences.”

  Again their eyes remained fixed for several moments. Then Darcy’s eyes were drawn to the tortoise shell comb in her hair. Remembering the last time he had seen it, he quickly turned away, desperately looking for something else on which to focus his eyes. Luckily at that moment Mrs. Hawkins appeared in the doorway with Ellie in her arms.

  Elizabeth turned and held her breath. She had to force herself to stay in place, not to rush to her daughter.

  “Oh good,” said Georgiana. “You will finally have a chance to meet Ellie!” Georgiana took the child from Mrs. Hawkins and walked back over to Elizabeth.

  “Did I not tell you she was the most beautiful child,” said Georgiana enthusiastically.

  Yes, yes, yes! Has any mother not thought that of their child? she thought.

  “Yes . . . indeed, she is,” said Elizabeth, as she felt her body tremble. “May I . . . would it be all right . . . if I were to hold her?” Elizabeth asked as she turned her gaze from Georgiana to William.

  As he stared into her beseeching eyes, he gave her a small smile.

  “Of course, you may, Miss Bennet. You need not have asked,” he replied. Did she think I would deny her that pleasure?

  Elizabeth closed her eyes as she hugged her child to her breast, inhaling her scent. Oh my sweet child. Trying desperately to keep her composure, she fought back the tears that threatened. After several moments, Elizabeth pulled back to look into her daughter’s eyes. The little girl giggled and brought her tiny fingers to the smile of Elizabeth’s mouth. Elizabeth kissed her fingers and then pretended to bite them, to the little girl’s delight.

  Darcy watched closely at the reverence in which she held her daughter in her arms. He wondered if he was the only one in the room who observed the similarity of their eyes and the same chestnut colour of their hair. Surely everyone else must also see their likeness.

  He tried to appear unaffected by her presence, but he could not draw his eyes from her. He watched as she held Ellie as if she had done so every day of the child’s life, and Ellie responded to her just as naturally. His heart actually ached as he observed them together.

  Darcy excused himself from their company and walked towards the table containing the bottle of brandy. He poured out a glass and, as he brought it to his lips, realized he did not want it. He did not want anything that might dull his senses. He wanted to remember this moment forever.

  As he stood across the room, his eyes sought her again. He watched as she and Georgiana effortlessly made easy conversation. He could not help but wonder at their discourse and walked back in their direction. When he saw Miss Bingley approach, he changed his course and walked once again to the window behind them.

  As she watched Mr. Darcy, Caroline was immediately alerted to something amiss and strode towards Elizabeth. Noting the precious scene before her, without ceremony she plucked the child from Elizabeth’s arms stating, “We cannot take any chances that you may again faint while holding our dear little Ellie, Miss Eliza.”

  The little girl began to cry at such a manoeuvre, and Georgiana was rendered speechless. Darcy did not turn from the window, his clenched fist at his side the only discernible reaction to such rude behaviour.

  Elizabeth assured Miss Bingley she was in no danger of again fainting, but her assurance had little effect, as Caroline summoned Mrs. Hawkins who took the child and left the parlour.

  Georgiana, recovering from her embarrassment, looked apologetically at Elizabeth. “I will go see that she is settled in for the night.”

  Elizabeth nodded and gave her an understanding smile.

  Knowing she was within easy earshot of Mr. Darcy, Caroline could not help but take advantage of such a situation, engaging Elizabeth in conversation.

  “Ellie is such a dear, is she not, Miss Eliza? I have become much attached to her these past few days.”

  “Yes,” said Elizabeth softly. “Indeed, she is perfection.”

  “To be deprived of one’s mother at such an early age is such a misfortune. She is in great need of a mother’s love,” continued Caroline, stressing the words for Mr. Darcy to hear.

  Elizabeth recalled Georgiana’s words that afternoon. He seems to have withdrawn from her. He is rarely in her company. She had not given up her precious child just to have her disregarded by her father.

  “Yes, on that we are in agreement, Miss Bingley. However, I believe in such cases as these, in the absence of a mother’s love, a father’s love and attention is essential and most beneficial to a child’s happiness and wellbeing.”

  Not missing the slight upon Mr. Darcy, Caroline retorted, “I assure you, Mr. Darcy is as attentive as may be. He is a very busy man who has the management of a very large estate to attend. When he is unable to do so himself, only his most trusted servants attend her.”

  Caroline smiled smugly at Elizabeth, quite convinced Mr. Darcy would be well please
d by her defence of him.

  At that moment Jane and Mr. Bingley joined them, and the conversation turned to other topics. Caroline soon left their circle and walked to the window, approaching Mr. Darcy.

  “I believe I can guess your thoughts at this moment Mr. Darcy.”

  “I should imagine not,” he replied.

  “You are thinking it insupportable that you must remain in the company of one as opinionated and impertinent as Miss Eliza Bennet. Imagine her giving such advice, a woman who could not possibly know of the deep bond one has with one’s child.”

  Unable to respond with any truth to such a statement, Darcy made no reply at all; he merely turned away from Caroline and continued his vigil at the window until dinner was called.

  That night in his room, Darcy tried to reason out his thoughts. Their situation was precarious at best. He would not wish for their past association to be known; it would not serve anyone’s purpose. Both of their reputations would be destroyed, not to mention the dishonour to Anne’s memory and the wrath of his Aunt Catherine.

  After the initial shock of seeing her again, his second reaction had been one of relief, relief that she was safe. He would do everything in his power to see that she remained that way.

  He could not gauge her reaction to him. In company, she was as he would expect her to be, polite and pleasant. But what were her true feelings towards him?

  Adding to his unease was the knowledge that Lizzy had learned of his recent dereliction in the care of his daughter . . . of their daughter . . . most assuredly adding to her already low opinion of him. He had much to prove to her. Would she give him the chance?

  He could not say if she had even read his letter. When he had travelled that day to the cottage to deliver it, Hannah had informed him that her mistress had endured two long and sleepless nights and had just finally succumbed to sleep. She had not wished to disturb her, and he had quite agreed. However, that had left him with no choice but to hand the letter over to Hannah.

  Had she thought enough of him to at least read his letter? Or had she destroyed it?

  He hoped that their two weeks together at Netherfield would at least help improve her opinion of him. He told himself he would be content with that.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

  Elizabeth had to restrain herself each morning as she arose with the sun and waited patiently for the time of her daughter’s morning walk to commence. She would make sure that she was already set on the path that Mrs. Hawkins took each day at half past nine.

  There she would just happen to meet them and, as always, the kindly and accommodating Mrs. Hawkins would agree to Elizabeth’s suggestion that it looked as if Ellie was getting heavy and that perhaps she might assist her by carrying the little girl for a while.

  Elizabeth relished these private moments with her daughter. She must find a way to stay with her.

  ~*~

  “Ah, there you are, Mr. Darcy. We have been wondering where you had gone off to,” said Caroline who was seated on the couch next to Georgiana and Jane Bennet. He entered the parlour at the appointed time for afternoon tea and greeted the three ladies.

  He had managed to elude Miss Bingley’s company for the last two days, finding some excuse or another to be away. Today he had been out riding Marengo, examining Netherfield’s grounds so that he might better advise Bingley on its management. He had come up with several recommendations that might improve production by rotating the crops and fields used each season. It felt good to focus his mind on such useful endeavours. He had been idle far too long.

  “I have been surveying the estate,” he replied taking the cup of tea she offered and taking a seat in a nearby chair. Turning to Georgiana he asked, “Where is everyone else?”

  “Miss Elizabeth had expressed a desire to see the stables, and Mr. Bingley accompanied her. Mrs. Hawkins just took Ellie up for her bath and said she would attempt to persuade her to nap.”

  They engaged in pleasant conversation, discussing nothing more controversial than the weather and the plans for Charles and Jane’s upcoming wedding ball. After what Darcy deemed a reasonable length of time, he rose from his chair and addressed all three ladies. “Perhaps you will excuse me, as I would like to spend some time with Ellie before she takes her nap.”

  Georgiana could not have been more delighted. “Of course, Brother. We shall see you later.”

  Caroline hardly tried to hide her disappointment. Turning toward Georgiana she said, “It seems your brother is keeping himself much occupied these days. We must find an activity in which we can all engage. We can come up with something, I am sure.”

  “Yes, that sounds like a good idea,” said Jane “I would be happy to help you devise a plan that might entice Charles away from his daily shooting party.”

  Georgiana heartily agreed, and the three of them set their minds to coming up with some entertaining diversion.

  ~*~

  Darcy entered Ellie’s room and watched as Mrs. Hawkins finished dressing her. “Has she been fed?” he asked.

  “Yes, sir; bathed, fed and changed,” she cheerfully replied. “She should be ready for her nap now.”

  “I will stay with her for a while, Mrs. Hawkins. You may go.”

  “Yes, sir. Thank you.” She smiled at the two and left the room.

  Darcy picked up his daughter and brought her face to his as he kissed her noisily on the cheek. The little girl stared at him, and, by the look on her face, Darcy could see she was poised to either laugh or cry. When had his daughter‘s reaction to him become so tentative?

  As he heard a noise at the door, he turned. Elizabeth had entered the room and, upon seeing him there, stopped. “Oh, I am sorry, Mr. Darcy. I did not expect to find you here.” She turned abruptly back towards the door.

  “Wait,” he called. “You do not . . . please, I would have you stay.”

  As Ellie looked over to Elizabeth, the little girl’s face immediately brightened. She displayed her beautiful smile, showing the dimples that she had inherited from her father, and reached her arms out towards Elizabeth.

  “It would seem she prefers your company to mine,” said Darcy.

  “I am sure that is not the case. It is just that I have been visiting her here before her nap for the last few days,” said Elizabeth. “I hope that meets with your approval, sir.”

  Elizabeth looked at him steadfastly, raising her chin in the way she always did when either showing her contempt or feeling intimidated. At the moment she was both.

  “Please believe me, Miss Bennet, I have no wish to deny you Ellie’s company during your stay.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Darcy. I cannot express my joy to find her here. I never thought I would see . . . I’m sorry . . . forgive me,” said Elizabeth as her emotions got the better of her. She quickly wiped her eyes and tried to regain her composure.

  Darcy restrained himself as he observed her tears. His first instinct was to hold her, to comfort her, but he knew he should not.

  She then looked around her, searching for something.

  “May I be of some assistance?” he asked as he watched her eyes peruse the room.

  “I was reading a book of fairy tales to Ellie yesterday, but I do not see it now.”

  He looked about the room and saw the book she spoke of, half hidden under some bed clothes. Retrieving the book, he handed it to her.

  She sat in the chair and held her arms out to him. At first, not comprehending her gesture, he looked at her quizzically. Then realizing it was Ellie to whom she held out her arms, he placed the little girl in her lap.

  “That chair looks most uncomfortable, Miss Bennet. At Pemberley there is a handsome rocking chair in Ellie’s nursery for such endeavours.” Softly, almost speaking to himself, he said, “Anne would sit in that chair for hours, just rocking Ellie in her arms.”

  Elizabeth looked up at him, and their eyes met. “I was sorry to learn of your loss, Mr. Darcy. Georgiana has told me how much you have grieved. You must have loved her v
ery much.”

  “She was indeed an exceptional woman,” replied Darcy sadly.

  He looked into Elizabeth’s eyes, wanting to tell her more, but not knowing what to say. Instead he endeavoured to change the subject, observing Ellie’s restlessness. “I think you had better get on with your reading; Ellie seems to be impatient.”

  They shared a brief smile.

  Elizabeth opened the book to the page where she had left off the day before. She nestled Ellie to her bosom and began reading. As she did, the little girl snuggled her body to Elizabeth’s.

  Darcy watched in silence as he listened to Elizabeth’s voice, soft and caressing. He had not meant to stay, but could not seem to get his feet to depart the room. Before Elizabeth had finished reading the third page, Ellie was fast asleep on her lap.

  Darcy walked over and picked his daughter up in his arms and placed her sleeping body gently in her cradle. He kissed her softly on her cheek and then walked back to Elizabeth. She rose from the chair and, putting her finger to her lips to indicate silence, led them out into the hallway.

  “Ellie seems to respond well to the sound of your voice, Miss Bennet.”

  “Perhaps you forget, Mr. Darcy, I read to her for many months during my confinement. I believe Byron was her favourite,” said Elizabeth as she smoothed the folds of her skirt, “for she never kicked while I read her Byron.”

  Darcy smiled at her reference to their conversation that day on the beach in Scotland; for it was Elizabeth who had argued the superior talents of Lord Byron, while Darcy’s preference led more towards the battle-plagued verses of Thomas Campbell.

  Upon mentioning the poet, Elizabeth was reminded of the package of books that had arrived at the cottage that Christmas Eve and wondered if he had been her benefactor. As she was about to relate the mystery to observe his reaction, Caroline Bingley approached them.

  Observing the two of them alone in the hallway, Caroline could not conceal her annoyance. “Did you lose your way, Miss Eliza? Allow me to direct you to your room. I’m sure Mr. Darcy has more important things he needs to attend.”