One Reason to Kill (Escaping the Mafia Book 1)

by Evelyn Kiss

  My eyes snap to hers. Her words stir a bout of guilt in my stomach, which brings up all the shame I felt over my mother. I’m turning into her. “Oh, my God.” The words escape my mouth as I lean back on the hard, wooden chair at Sips. “I’m becoming the person I hate.”

  Teagan raises an inquiring brow.

  I open my mouth to speak, but I’m so floored by the revelation, nothing comes out.

  “You know what?” she says, leaning back on the large comfy chair. She shakes her head, as if she can’t believe what she is about to say. “I completely understand how you feel. I am doing things I never thought I would, and I am becoming more like Hannah every day, and that scares me.”

  “Hannah?” I slide forward a little and rest my elbows on the table. I play with the sugar packet in front of me and wait for her to answer. I peek up at her when she does, and the expression on her face warms my heart.

  “Hannah, my sister. I told you about her.”

  “The bitch?” Oh… Hannah. My heart falls to my feet. I lace my fingers together and bring them down to my lap. I stare at them for a moment before I come to terms with what that means. “Santiago mentioned a Hannah.”

  “Santi’s been through a lot. His step-father was an asshole, and his mom died because of him. He got out, but it left his little brother with their step-dad and…” She trails off. “I guess this his story to tell, but with Hannah… they were going to get engaged.” Teagan sounds defeated. “She passed away last year.”

  “I remember.” I just didn’t connect the two. I replay the conversation with Santi, wishing I could go back and change what I said or how I reacted. There is no way I could have possibly known, but that explains a lot. He was hung up on Hannah, and there was a lot more damage, just like I suspected.

  “She cheated on Santi a lot. Kind of like Steve did with you.”

  Hello, Broken.

  Meet, Damaged.

  You two have a lot in common.

  Law of attraction. Like attracts like. How could I possibly fall for someone not fucked up when I’m beyond messed up? Dysfunctional families, little brothers, broken homes and broken hearts. Two victims of life don’t make a survivor. They make a massacre.

  Teagan breaks me out of my thoughts, probably thinking I didn’t know what to say. But I’m just stunned by the similarities. I know all too well what it feels like to lose someone. To be hurt by someone. To be cheated on. To want no-strings-attached and unbarred love. To hate everything, even yourself.

  Of course, we would recognize the pain in each other. The emotional wound rejection causes can only be understood by people who share the same scars. Our sadness connected before our bodies did.

  “I wasn’t close with her.”

  “With who?”

  “My sister.”

  Oh. I nod and focus on the conversation. “Why not?”

  “Hannah was calculating and manipulative … and well, she hated my guts. But I’m sliding into her shoes a little too easy.”

  “Teagan,” I call her attention. “You are nothing like that.”

  She forces a smile and exhales loudly, not even pretending to believe what I just said. “You’d be surprised if you knew, Lexi. There are things I have done that I wouldn’t have done last year.”

  She doesn’t seem like she wants to tell me specifics, and I don’t want to pry. Drudging up feelings of sibling loss isn’t going to help me or her. Professor Ferguson once said, “The best thing to do when you lose someone is move forward. That’s true even if the person you lost is yourself.”

  I don’t know if he is right, but I agree. Dwelling on all the shit, I have been through will only trap me. That’s why the uncertainty, the excitement of not having stability, is addicting. Sleeping with someone new isn’t about the sex. I mean, other than Santiago, the sex isn’t exactly noteworthy. It’s about the exhilarating feeling of not knowing who he is or anything about him. It’s liberating. Free. And I haven’t been free in a really long time. It’s also why I really understand Santi.

  “Yeah. I get that, Tee.”

  Unfortunately, she switches the topic back to Santiago. “You know, he was with her for six years. He was going to ask her to marry him.”

  “So, he likes the bitch thing?” I have no idea why I bite the inside of my lip. That’s not true. I bite it because I’ve been a bitch to him, and the idea of him liking it makes my heart flutter.

  “Well, I don’t really know that. I’d like to think my sister was nice to him, but niceness wasn’t in her blood.” She chuckles softly. “So, maybe he is. I mean, he, Dax, and Ace are very hard to understand. They are secretive, and it’s like you have to pry things out of them.”

  Now, it’s my turn to laugh. “Bullshit. Dax, I get, but Aysen doesn’t seem to have a problem verbalizing anything.”

  She rolls her eyes and reaches for her tea. She sips it before saying, “Aysen has trouble with the important stuff. He holds it all in, and then explodes, spewing truths everywhere.”

  I nod because it’s not my place to get involved in whatever was going on between her and Aysen. I already voiced my opinions, if she wants mine, she will ask.

  “Anyway, I don’t really want to talk about Aysen and Dax. I spend most of my time with them.”

  Good thing I didn’t bring it up. Because I don’t want to hear about Santiago either. I need to process everything, and I already know I owe him an apology. That should be fun.

  “Then what do you want to talk about?”

  “Actually… the guys are going to Chicago and excluded me. Aysen isn’t going, but I need you to cover for me with him if he asks.”

  “Why?”

  “I’m driving down there. Without him. I have somethings to do down there and I need to do them in private.”

  “Private?” I laugh. “You going to go murder someone?”

  She rolls her eyes, which makes us both laugh. “It’s not on my to-do list.”

  “You know what? I’ll go with you.” Before she can voice her disapproval, I tell her about Ian. “I want to visit my brother’s grave. I miss him so damn much.”

  She thinks about this for a long time, and then nods in agreement. “We leave Monday. Instead of going to class, I’ll meet you at your car. But promise me one thing.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Well, two things.”

  I nod for her to continue.

  “Don’t tell the guys about our trip, and stay away from Santi. He’s not in the right headspace, and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

  Hmm. I can try.

  10

  The apology

  Santiago

  Fucking shit! Why does she have to look that good with so many clothes on? If she showed up wearing next to nothing, like all the other girls here, then maybe she would blend in. But no, she had to be fucking different and wear jeans and a long sleeve shirt that dips low, revealing her perfectly round tits.

  Get it together, Santiago. I try to refocus my attention on this guy that Aysen is… I don’t even know what he is doing. Apparently, the dealer has a little crush on the legacy, which Daxton encouraged him to pursue for his viewing pleasure.

  Teagan saddles up next to me and hands me a beer. She looks cute in her flowy dress, nothing like anything Hannah would wear. Her cheeks are flushed, and I can smell the beer on her breath. “Thanks, Boss.”

  “Again?” She gives me a sideways glance and then smirks. “Don’t ever call me that again, Chains.”

  “Is that a command from my leader?” She elbows me gently in the ribs and jostles a soft chuckle from me. “Okay. Okay.” I glance over at her. “No need for corporal punishment.”

  She plasters an angry expression on her face, but she can’t keep it for long. She’s giggly when she’s tipsy, and I have a feeling she is working on embracing the whole college thing tonight. Dax comes up to us, wraps his arms around her waist, and presses her to him. She squeals a little bit but leans her head back to rest on his shoulder. He says som
ething to her that makes her cheeks flush bright red, and then lets her go so he can address me.

  She nods and makes her way over toward the girl I am trying to avoid, leaving Dax and me alone.

  “How does this work?” I ask, still flabbergasted by the three of them. They’ve been inseparable since toddlers, or so everyone says, but to share the check they’ve been obsessing over? I don’t even want to know what their bedroom life is like. “I mean, do your swords touch?” Dax is old school. Traditional.

  Daxton smirks. “No, they don’t fucking touch.”

  “So it’s like one-on-one time or does one of you wait in the corner?”

  “That’s none of your business, Chains.”

  Still concerned with their relationship, I ask, “The Council—”

  “Let me worry about the Council. You focus on what you’re doing here.” He points toward Aysen. “He’s dropping the hint to Finn,” Dax says loudly. The music is loud enough to drown us out to the people around us.

  “How is he doing that?”

  “Little bargaining,” he says, amusedly. “He’s trying to get Finn to lower the price on his items. When he does, he will say he can still buy it cheaper.”

  “Is that why he is letting him touch him all over?” I have nothing against guys on guys, but Aysen, while he doesn’t really care who you are screwing, he isn’t big on the whole guys hitting on him thing. That I remember from the Den, which is another reason why I don’t understand how their relationship works.

  Dax chuckles, a rare occurrence. “Took a little convincing.”

  “He must be losing his shit right now.” I crack a smile when Aysen gives us both a fuck-off look and then a nod in our direction. We nod back and then pretend to be deep in conversation for a few minutes.

  “He did it. Quick, reach into your pocket and pretend to pass me a hit.” I do as Dax tells me. A quick peek over my shoulder tells me Finn is watching us. “Okay, now go find Teagan and pass her this.” He pulls out a small little plastic bag with what looks like a couple of pills of ibuprofen. “Let him think you are dealing and taking over his clientele.”

  “She’s with Lexi.” I jolt my chin in their direction.

  “Well, then I suggest you do it without Lexi noticing. Teagan’s having a hard time with all this. She thinks she can keep her friends from our world, but they are friends with her, and she is going to inherit part of this world. I don’t exactly know how to break that to her.” His voice lowers at the end, and I can tell he feels some kind of remorse.

  “She didn’t want this,” I try to reassure him.

  “It’s not just that, Chains. She wasn’t meant for this, and now Rosalie is back, and I can’t tell her. There’s so much I wish I could protect her from…”

  “But you can’t,” I finish his thought for him. “She’s a Blackwell, Dax. She’s going to have to step up to the plate.” We both know that means she’s going to have to suck it up when they catch up to Rosalie. I’m keeping the fact that I know she knows about her mother all to myself. Just like I will keep the hunt for Rosalie away from Teagan. I won’t be responsible for getting Teagan killed, but I also can’t risk pissing off the future Council or the acting one. The best I can do is play both sides and try not to get caught.

  I take a deep breath and head over to them. My life is fucked up right now. Even if Tee hadn’t asked me to keep away from Lexi, I would. Or try to, at least.

  As soon as I reach the girls, Lexi says, “Oh, good. You’re here.” Then she turns to Tee and says, “I need to talk to him. I’ll be right back.”

  She grabs my hand before I have time to say something to Tee and leads me to the bathroom.

  Not my first choice for privacy, but I am a little distracted by her holding my hand. It’s been years since I’ve held hands with a girl. Hannah never did that, and I never realized how much I missed it. That’s why I yank my hand away and snap, “What is it, Lexi?”

  She inhales deeply, and then releases it. Her shoulders move up and down as she repeats the process. “The morning,” she starts and gives me a minute to remember.

  “Yes, I remember. I wasn’t that drunk.”

  She rolls her eyes, not believing me. “Well, you mentioned Hannah.”

  I tilt my head to the side and plaster a hard expression on my face. Just the mention of her brings up all the newly-developed hatred. “Don’t fucking say her name.”

  She retreats backward, putting distance between us.

  Shit. I lower my voice, trying to keep it steady and calm. “What about her?”

  “I just wanted to apologize.” I cross my arms in front of me because the way she was biting her lip made my cock twitch, and my mind begs me for a release.

  “You don’t have to.” I turn my back on her and reach for the doorknob. I feel her fingers lightly brush against my shoulder.

  I pause.

  “I shouldn’t have said the things I said. I get how you feel…” her voice trails off, causing me to turn back around and face her. Her tongue darts out and glides between her lips, but it isn’t meant to draw attention. Her whole body retreats inward, and she’s nervous.

  I am not sure if I am making her this uncomfortable, or if it’s the thoughts in my head, so I soften my voice and try to make myself more open. “You don’t have to apologize. She isn’t worth it.”

  She smiles, skeptically. “I just… I know what it’s like to lose someone and how hard it is to move on. I just felt bad for—”

  I cut her off. “Seriously, don’t ever worry about talking shit on that bitch. I hope she’s rotting in hell.”

  She shakes her head, trying to understand. She shouldn’t, but before I can stop her, she says, “I get it. ” It throws me off guard. “I guess, we are good then?”

  “Good?” I am so confused on what she thinks she gets. To be honest, the fact that she does get something kind of worries me. “I can’t imagine a girl like you could ever understand what a guy like me deals with.”

  “You can tell me.” She chuckles nervously. “I mean if you want to… you know, talk to someone. I am just saying…” She sighs as she struggles to find the words, and I swear it’s the fucking cutest thing I have ever seen. “I’m a good listener. I mean, not that you would want to tell me about things, but in case you do, I won’t judge.”

  I force my lips straight as I wait for her to say something else. When she doesn’t, I nod my head and ready myself to be the asshole I need her to think I am. “Noted.”

  She smiles, thinking she has achieved something. I wish I could talk to her, but orders are orders. “But if I did need to talk, I wouldn’t do it with you. You’ve served your purpose.”

  Her jaw drops, and I hate that I am the reason for the sadness in her eyes. “Okay?” the word escapes her lips in a barely audible tone. She rushes for the door, and I step aside, letting her go.

  She places her hand on the doorknob, and instead of opening it, she locks it. She swivels around to face me and locks her eyes on me. There’s a fierceness in the way her body holds steady, tall, and ready to confront me. She steps forward.

  I hold my stance, raising my eyebrows in entertainment.

  She’s tiny and ready to face me. I wasn’t sure if her sword was her tongue, or the way her body moved, but it was slicing through my resolve. “Have something to tell me, Lexi?”

  “I’m trying to decide if you are worth the effort,” she says, leaning forward.

  I take a step closer, attempting to erase the space between us. She swallows hard when I invade her personal space. I give her time to come to a decision, mostly because I enjoy towering over her. There is a very nice view from up here.

  Her cheeks flush when she realizes exactly where I am staring. She doesn’t back away though. She lifts her chin up a little, exposing her neck and subconsciously thrusting her chest out. A slow smile builds on my lips as the pink on her cheeks turns almost red.

  “You know. You are such an asshole.” Not exactly the words I want
ed to hear, but the infliction in her tone suggests otherwise.

  I lean in, so my lips are near her ear. She shivered the last time I did it. I’m playing with fire, but I’m pretty sure I don’t mind being burned. I whisper, “But?” and retract backward to study her reaction.

  “Just shut up,” she commands and then makes sure I can’t talk.

  Her lips lock with mine as her straightforwardness thrills me. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know I shouldn’t be encouraging this, but then her tongue brushes against my bottom lip, and her hands slide down to my waist and latch onto the hem of my jeans.

  All my focus is on the way her body gently presses against me in all the right places. I try to move, but my body refuses to part with hers. Instead, it thrusts into her.

  She moans into my mouth, and I grow harder. My hands fist her hair, and I back her up, so her back is against the cold tile. When she lifts her leg, and lets it slide down mine, my hands stroll downward, gripping her ass cheeks and lifting her up, so our centers are aligned. She wraps her legs around my waist, opening herself to me. I’m sure she can feel my erection against her, but in case she doesn’t, I assert myself more prominently between her legs.

  She throws her head back, but I fist her hair and bring her face to mine, so my lips can devour hers again. Propping her up against the wall, I create a little space between us and fumble with the button on my jeans. I don’t want to put her down, but we are both fully clothed. She notices my predicament and slides down my body to stand on her own two feet. She reaches for the hem of her shirt and pulls it over her head, dropping the shirt to the ground. I watch her as she unbuttons her jeans and unzips, then shimmies out of them. The way her hips sway does little to help my situation.

  Neither did her demanding, “Take your clothes off.”

  Confidence is fucking hot. I might not like being told what to do, but when it’s something I am already planning on doing, I don’t mind it at all, especially if it comes from a girl whose lips are swollen from kissing mine.