Trailin'!

by Max Brand

  CHAPTER XXXV

  ABANDON

  That was all; no comment, no exclamation--she continued to gaze withthat faint, retrospective smile toward the fire. He knew now why sheangered him; it was because she had held the upper hand from the minutethat ride over the short pass began--he had never once been able toassert himself impressively. He decided to try now.

  "I don't intend to ride on."

  "Too tired?"

  He felt the clash of her will on his, even like flint against steel,whenever they spoke, and he began to wonder what spark would start afire. It made him think of a game of poker, in a way, for he never knewwhat the next instant would place in his hands while the cards of chancewere shuffled and dealt. Tired? There was a subtle, scoffing challengehidden somewhere in that word.

  "No, but I don't intend to go any farther from Drew."

  Her smile grew more pronounced; she even looked to him with a frankamusement, for apparently she would not take him seriously.

  "If I were you, he'd be the last man I'd want to be near."

  "I suppose you would."

  As if she picked up the gauntlet, she turned squarely on the bunk andfaced him.

  "You're going to hit the trail in an hour, understand?"

  It delighted him--set him thrilling with excitement to feel her openanger and the grip of her will against his; he had to force a frown inorder to conceal a smile.

  "If I do, it will be to ride back toward Drew."

  Her lips parted to make an angry retort, and then he watched her steelherself with patience, like a mother teaching an old lesson to a child.

  "D'you know what you'd be like, wanderin' around these mountains withouta guide?"

  "Well?"

  "Like a kid in a dark, lonesome room. You'd travel in a circle and fallinto their hands in a day."

  "Possibly."

  She was still patient.

  "Follow me close, Bard. I mean that if you don't do what I say I'll cutloose and leave you alone here."

  He was silent, enjoying her sternness, glad to have roused her, nomatter what the consequences; knowing that each second heightened theclimax.

  Apparently she interpreted his speechlessness in a different way. Shesaid after a moment: "That sounds like quittin' cold on you. I won't doit unless you try some fool thing like riding back toward Drew."

  He waited again as long as he dared, then: "Don't you see that the lastthing I want is to keep you with me?"

  There was no pleasure in that climax. She sat with parted lips, herhands clasped tightly in her lap, staring at him. He became as vividlyconscious of her femininity as he had been when she laughed in the dark.There was the same sustained pulsing, vital emotion in this silence.

  He explained hastily: "A girl's reputation is a fragile thing, Sally."

  And she recovered herself with a start, but not before he saw andunderstood. It was as if, in the midst of an exciting hand, with thewagers running high, he had seen her cards and knew that his own handwas higher. The pleasant sense of mastery made a warmth through him.

  "Meaning that they'd talk about me? Bard, they've already said enoughthings about me to fill a book--notes and all, with a bunch of picturesthrown in. What I can't live down I fight down, and no man never saysthe same thing twice about me. It ain't healthy. If that's all thatbothers you, close your eyes and let me lead you out of this mess."

  He hunted about for some other way to draw her out. After all, it was anold, old game. He had played it before many a time; though the settingand the lights had been different the play was always the same--a man,and a woman.

  She was explaining: "And it is a mess. Maybe you could get out afterdroppin' Calamity, because it was partly self-defence, but there ain'tnothin' between here and God that can get you off from liftin' a hoss.No, sir, not even returning the hoss won't do no good. I know! The onlything is speed--and a thousand miles east of here you can stop ridin'."

  He found the thing to say, and he made his voice earnest and low to givethe words wing and sharpness; it was like the hum of the bow stringafter the arrow is launched, so tense was the tremor of his tone.

  "There are two reasons why I can't leave. The first is Drew. I must getback to him."

  "Why d'you want Drew? Let me tell you, Bard, he's a bigger job than tentenderfeet like you could handle. Why, mothers scare their babies asleepby tellin' of the things that William Drew has done."

  "I can't tell you why. In fact, I don't altogether know the complete whyand wherefore. It's enough that I have to meet him and finish him!"

  Her fingers interlaced and gripped; he wondered at their slenderness;and leaning back so that his face fell under a slant, black shadow, heenjoyed the flame of the firelight, turning her brown hair to amber andgold. White and round and smooth and perfect was the column of herthroat, and it trembled with the stir of her voice.

  "The most fool idea I ever heard. Sounds like something in a dream--anightmare. What d'you want to do, Anthony, make yourself famous? Youwill be, all right; they'll put up your tombstone by a publicsubscription."

  He would not answer, sure of himself; waiting, tingling with enjoyment.

  As he expected, she said: "Go on; is the other reason as good as thatone?"

  Making his expression grim, he leaned suddenly forward, and though thewidth of the room separated them, she drew back a little, as though theshadow of his coming cast a forewarning shade across her. He heard herbreath catch, and as if some impalpable and joyous spirit rushed to meetand mingle with his, something from her, a spirit as warm as the fire,as faintly, keenly sweet as an air from a night-dark, unseen gardenblowing in his face.

  "The other reason is you, Sally Fortune. You can't go with me as far asI must go; and I can't leave you behind."

  Ah, there it was! He had fumbled at the keys of the organ in the dark;he had spread his fingers amply and pressed down; behold, back from thecathedral lofts echoed a rising music of surpassing beauty. Like theorganist, he sank back again in the shadow and wondered at the phrase ofmelody. Surely he had not created it? Then what? God, perhaps. For herlips parted to a smile that was suggested rather than seen, a tender,womanly sweetness that played about her mouth; and a light came in hereyes that would never wholly die from them. Afterward he would feelshame for what he had done, but now he was wholly wrapped in the newthing that had been born in her, like a bird striving to fly in theteeth of a great storm, and giving back with reeling, drumming wings, abeautiful and touching sight.

  Her lips framed words that made no sound. Truly, she was making agallant struggle. Then she said: "Anthony!" She was pale with thestruggle, now, but she rose bravely to her part. She even laughed,though it fell short like an arrow dropping in front of the target.

  "Listen, Bard, you make a pretty good imitation of Samson, but I ain'tcut out for any Delilah. If I'm holding you here, why, cut and run andforget it."

  She drew a long breath and went on more confidently: "It ain't any use;I'm not cut out for any man--I'd so much rather be--free. I've tried toget interested in others, but it never works."

  She laughed again, more surely, and with a certain hardness like theringing of metal against metal, or the after rhythm from the peal of abell. With deft, flying fingers she rolled a cigarette, lighted it, andsat down cross-legged.

  Through the first outward puff of smoke went these words: "The onlything that's a woman about me is skirts. That's straight."

  Yet he knew that his power was besieging her on every side. Her powerseemed gone, and she was like a rare flower in the hollow of his hand;all that he had to do was to close his fingers, and--He despised himselffor it, but he could not resist. Moreover, he half counted on her prideto make her break away.

  "Then if it's hopeless, Sally Fortune, go now."

  She answered, with an upward tilt of her chin: "Don't be a fool,Anthony. If I can't be a woman to you, at least I can be a pal--the bestyou've had in these parts. Nope, I'll see you through. Better saddlenow--"

  "And start b
ack for Drew?"

  There was the thrust that made her start, as if the knife went throughtender flesh.

  "Are you such a plumb fool as that?"

  "Go now, Sally. I tell you, it's no use. I won't leave the trail ofDrew."

  It was only the outward stretch of her arm, only the extension of herhand, palm up, but it was as if her whole nature expanded toward him intenderness.

  "Oh, Anthony, if you care for me, don't stay in reach of Drew! You'rebreaking--"

  She stopped and closed her eyes.

  "Breakin' all the rules, like any tenderfoot would be expected to do."

  She glanced at him, wistful, to see whether or not she had smoothed itover; his face was a blank.

  "You won't go?"

  "Nope."

  He insisted cruelly: "Why?"

  "Because--because--well, can I leave a baby alone near a fire? Not me!"

  Her voice changed. The light and the life was gone from it, but not allthe music. It was low, a little hoarse.

  "I guess we can stay here tonight without no danger. And in themorning--well, the morning can take care of itself. I'm going to turnin."

  He rose obediently and stood at the door, facing the night. From behindcame the rustle of clothes, and the sense of her followed and surroundedand stood at his shoulder calling to him to turn. He had won, but hebegan to wonder if it had not been a Pyrrhic victory.

  At length: "All right, Anthony. It's your turn."

  She was lying on her side, facing the wall, a little heap of clothes onthe foot of her bunk, and the lithe lines of her body something to beguessed at--sensed beneath the heavy blanket. He slipped into his ownbunk and lay a moment watching the heavy drift of shadows across theceiling. He strove to think, but the waves of light and dark blottedfrom his mind all except the feeling of her nearness, that indefinablepower keen as the fragrance of a garden, which had never quite becomedisentangled from his spirit. She was there, so close. If he called,she would answer; if she answered------

  He turned to the wall, shut his eyes, and closed his mind with a Spartaneffort. His breathing came heavily, regularly, like one who slept or onewho is running. Over that sound he caught at length another lightrustling, and then the faint creak as she crossed the crazy floor. Hemade his face calm--forced his breath to grow more soft and regular.

  Then, as if a shadow in which there is warmth had crossed him, he knewthat she was leaning above him, close, closer; he could hear her breath.In a rush of tenderness, he forgot her beauty of eyes and round, strongthroat, and supple body--he forgot, and was immersed, like an eaglewinging into a radiant sunset cloud, in a sense only of her being, quitedivorced from the flesh, the mysterious rare power which made her SallyFortune, and would not change no matter what body might contain it.

  It was blindingly intense, and when his senses cleared he knew that shewas gone. He felt as if he had awakened from a night full of dreams morevivid than life--dreams which left him too weak to cope with reality.

  For a time he dared not move. He was feeling for himself like a man whofumbles his way down a dark passage dangerous with obstructions. At lastit was as if his hand touched the knob of a door; he swung it open,entered a room full of dazzling light--himself. He shrank back from it;closed his eyes against what he might see.

  All he knew, then, was an overpowering will to see her. He turned, inchby inch, little degree by degree, knowing that if, when he turned, helooked into her eyes, the end would rush upon them, overwhelm them,carry them along like straws on the flooding river. At last his head wasturned; he looked.

  She lay on her back, smiling as she slept. One arm hung down from thebunk and the graceful fingers trailed, palm up, on the floor, curling alittle, as if she had just relaxed her grasp on something. And down pasther shoulder, half covering the whiteness of her arm, fled the torrentof brown hair, with the firelight playing through it like a sunlit mist.

  He rose, and dressed with a deadly caution, for he knew that he must goat once, partly for her sake that he must be seen apart from her thisnight--partly because he knew that he must leave and never come back.

  He had hit upon the distinctive feature of the girl--a purity as thinand clear as the air of the uplands in which she drew breath. He stoopedand smoothed down the blankets of his bunk, for no trace of him must beseen if any other man should come during this night. He would go faraway--see and be seen--apart from Sally Fortune. He picked up hissaddle.

  Before he departed he leaned low above her as she must have done abovehim, until the dark shadow of lashes was tremulous against her cheek.Then he straightened and stole step by step across the floor, to thedoor, to the night; all the myriad small white eyes of the heavenslooked down to him in hushed surprise.