Mercedes' Dirge

by Belle Zimet

  “Don’t underestimate the power of stigma, Ella. I’m not joking about how my perceived past throws people off. I’m not single by choice.” He told her honestly.

  “I’m so sorry.”

  He waved his hand and shrugged. “Enough about me. How are you? Are you living in town now? What do you do for a living?”

  “I was a loan officer. Now, I’m in town helping my brother open a bed and breakfast. It’s debatable as to whether or not I’m staying, but I’m here for now.” She said as she sipped the wine she had ordered.

  “I heard he’s married to Alexa, right?” Nick asked with a twinge.

  “He is, and they are remodeling the mansion which has been vacant all these years.”

  “Alexa probably hates me, right?” He asked with an agonized expression, clearly afraid of the answer.

  “That’s kind of a loaded question, Nick. You are the scapegoat. I can’t really gloss it over.” She told him honestly, for lack of easier words to say.

  “You don’t need to. I deal with it daily.” He looked at her imploringly. “I didn’t do it, Ella.” He said suddenly.

  She reached across and grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. “I believe you.” She realized she honestly meant the words as she uttered them.

  “This is a nightmare I can’t wake from. I loved her. I wanted to marry her.” His voice was strained. “Then she’s killed and not only do I lose her but everyone believes I did it.”

  “I know, it’s beyond awful. It’s true that you were proposing?” She asked as conversationally as she could.

  “Yes, I proposed that day and she accepted. She had the ring, but didn’t want to tell anyone yet. She said she needed to tie up some loose ends and then we’d be free to be together.”

  Ella caught the direct contradiction to what Troy had said. Troy had felt that Mercedes was on the verge of leaving Nick to be with him and Nick believed the opposite to be true, though he seemed to not know about Troy.

  “I saw her and then I left, and then she was killed. That’s all I know. Even if she’d turned me down, I still never would have hurt her.” He told her, willing her to believe him.

  “Did the police know about the engagement?” She said, forcing herself to sit back in her chair to not appear so intense, as the questions rolled off her tongue.

  “Yes, I told them, but the ring was missing, so there wasn’t anything to back it up. If she hadn’t asked me not to I would have left there directly and told everyone the news.”

  “Who do you think killed her?” Ella asked, watching his face carefully.

  “I honestly don’t know. I mean certainly both Bryan and Joel fit the bill, if you remember either of them.” He added.

  She raised her eyebrows. “I remember them.” I slept with one only a few days ago, she thought scandalously. “Why do you think they may have done it?”

  “They were both infatuated with her.” He said simply. “Joel was obsessed with sleeping with her and Bryan seemed to just want to be with her.”

  He looked at her soulfully. “But, apparently she was seeing more people than I ever could have conceived of, so I just don’t know. I guess it could have been a variety of people.”

  “I’m sorry, Nick. I wanted to tell you when I saw all those guys-” She started.

  “Look, I knew she wasn’t being faithful. You were even there one of the many times it was thrown in my face. Don’t ever feel bad. I took her on knowing that she wouldn’t be monogamous.” He grabbed her hand and smiled. “It’s not your fault.”

  She nodded gratefully. “Thank you.”

  They changed the subject and made small talk after that. He told her of how he had moved away until things had cooled off and then opened his shop up years later after winning a successful libel suit against a local newspaper. He’d lived in relative peace since then, with his past coming to haunt him when he got close in relationships. She told him all about her marriage and divorce and he sympathized with her greatly when it came to the subject of cheating. They finished their lunch and then began walking down the beach.

  He grabbed her hand and held it as they walked. She accepted it and basked in the warmth of the gesture. He suddenly stopped to face her.

  “I’m really sorry about what happened between us.” He said abruptly as he held her gaze.

  “It was so long ago.” She told him dismissively, but even as she said it the embarrassment and hurt rolled over her like a humiliation tidal wave.

  “I acted terribly, Ella. I’m so very sorry about it and have thought about it many times over the years.” He ran his hand down her face lovingly. “I was very attracted to you and I was weak that night and gave into it, and was unprepared to face the feelings I began having for you. Afterwards I didn’t know how to make it normal again, so it just wasn’t normal ever again.”

  “You were?” She smiled.

  “Was what?”

  “You were attracted to me?” She teased.

  “Was and am.” He corrected seriously. “You’ve only improved with age.”

  “Why thank you.” She said as she broke from his grip and sat on the beach, staring out at the gentle waves rolling upon crystalline water. He sat next to her.

  “You know, there is a famous haunting here at this hotel.” He told her conversationally.

  She swallowed hard and wondered if this meant that he believed. “Really? Who?”

  “A girl named Kate Morgan. She came here alone under the assumed name of Lottie Bernard and was apparently jilted by her husband who was supposed to meet her. She died on the hotel grounds, not far from where we are now. It was ruled a suicide, but people suspect she was murdered. People see her in the hallway and in the room she stayed in and the light that’s over where her body was found always goes out, even if they change the bulb daily.” He recounted solemnly.

  Ella got the chills. “Do you believe in ghosts?”

  He nodded. “Yeah, I sure do. All that energy that we put out, it’s hard to believe it just completely extinguishes when we die.” He shrugged sadly. “Maybe I’m just hoping.”

  “I have to admit, Nick, Mercedes is still around. Like Kate, I mean.” She told him bravely before she could talk herself out of it.

  He looked at her stricken. “Are you saying that she’s at the mansion?”

  “Yes. We’ve all experienced it, but she’s targeted me the most.” She let some sand sift through her fingers, as she avoided his eyes. “I think she wants something.”

  To Ella’s surprise Nick started crying. He hunched over and buried his face in his hands and was racked by sobs. Ella quickly wiped off her hands and threw her arms around him.

  “I’m sorry. I thought it may be comforting to hear. At least, that’s what I gathered from this conversation.” She said quickly, filled with regret.

  He nodded and lifted his head and self consciously wiped off his face. “Have you seen her?” She nodded and he continued. “How did she look?”

  Ella chose her words carefully. There was no way she would tell him how she had looked the second time, and she thought that she would also leave out the fact that Mercedes had been wearing the dress she was buried in. She chose to remember the first time she saw her and answered. “I did, she was as beautiful as ever.”

  “Do you think she wants to say goodbye? Do you think that’s what she wants?” He asked hopefully.

  “I think she wants me to solve who killed her.” She said bluntly, unable to lie.

  “Is this why you’re really here? To investigate?” The words were suspect, but the voice showed no signs of anger.

  “I wasn’t lying when I said I’ve always wondered about you.” She compromised quickly.

  “Were you lying when you said you didn’t think I did it?” He asked, worried.

  “No, I wasn’t lying. I’ve never been able to accept that as an answer to what happened.” She grabbed his hand and kissed it by way of apology.

  He fell back on the sand and she did as well.
“This is too crazy. If she is here to point out her killer, I’m afraid that her existence is tormented. I do not find that comforting.”

  “That’s why I’m trying to help.” She told him. “I want her to be at peace.” And I also want to be at peace, she told herself.

  “You’re a wonderful, Ella. You always have been.” He turned his head on the sand to meet her gaze. “I had feelings for you, but it was so complicated with Mercedes.”

  “Ditto.” She said with a smile. To her amazement the sun was beginning to set, setting fire to the sky over the ocean. Oranges and pinks, slashing the sky, and she realized they’d been at the hotel for hours. Still, she made no attempt to move.

  He reached over and ran his fingers down her face tenderly. “Would it be bad to admit that I’ve wanted to kiss you all day?”

  “No,” she smiled, the romance of the moment washing over her like a warm bath. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for 12 years.”

  He chuckled as he moved in and their lips touched. It was a far cry from the unbridled passion that had been unleashed when she had kissed Bryan. Nick was tender and his kisses were slow and meaningful.

  She felt her body begin to respond and she pushed herself up against his eagerly. They molded to one another as they continued tenderly kissing on the cool sand.

  Even as her body lit up, she realized that it was not the same passion she’d felt for Bryan. There was no desire to rip his clothes off and have sex there on the sand. The more they kissed, the more she internalized the feeling and the less right the situation felt. She and Bryan had not become committed, and they’d only spent one night together, so Ella refused to give into guilt, but did listen when her body told her that this wasn’t the right thing to do. She pulled away slowly and rested her hands on his chest.

  “I’m so sorry, I can’t do this.” She said, sitting up slowly.

  He sat up as well, bemused. “Did I do something?”

  “No, I’m kind of seeing someone, and I don’t feel right doing this. So far it’s casual, but I think I maybe want to see where it goes.” She explained apologetically.

  “Well, I don’t know what to say.” He told her helplessly. “I can’t really hide my disappointment.”

  “I know. I’m not normally like this, and I really didn’t intend for this to happen.” She looked at him. “Though I’d be lying if I said I didn’t know there was a possibility. I’ve been thinking of you since high school, and in high school, you were the type of man I envisioned myself with.”

  “Is this guy you’re seeing like me?” He asked softly.

  “No, he’s a whole different type of man.” She said truthfully.

  “Well, hopefully he’s enough like me to appreciate what he’s got.” He got up and leaned over to help her up. She accepted and marveled as he pulled her to her feet with incredible ease.

  “No expectations yet.”

  “Well, I guess I’d better be going.” He said awkwardly. “This was really kind of a crazy whirlwind, but I don’t regret it. You can’t imagine how grateful I am for your support.”

  They walked back to the shop in pregnant silence and broke the ice with their goodbyes as he escorted her to her car. They exchanged email addresses and phone numbers and there was a friendly hug as a farewell.

  Ella drove away feeling cathartic, and bad that she’d kissed Nick and then turned him away. It had sounded good in theory, it just didn’t end up that way in practice. She could see that Nick was still an achingly nice man, but the spark from before was gone. Perhaps it wouldn’t have been if there were no Bryan in the picture, but her attraction burned more brightly than she could have realized, until she had her mouth on someone else. She pulled over briefly and looked at her email to find Bryan’s address. She noticed how close he was to the mansion and drove there without another thought. She normally didn’t just drop in people, and it was probably a no-no in the world of dating, but he had already issued an open invitation, and didn’t seem like the kind of man to say things he didn’t mean. She knew she needed to see him.

  Her mouth dropped open when she saw the house. Certainly it spoke to how well he had actually done for himself. It was a modern estate and in a privileged portion of La Jolla and she knew it had to be oceanfront, though it was too dark to take in the view. She freshened in the car quickly and jumped out to be greeted by the salty sea air.

  Bryan’s car was there and she was relieved to note that there was no one else’s car there as well. The lights were on and as she approached the double doors she spied him through the glass panels at the sides of the doors. He was hunched over his computer busily typing with a fire roaring in the ornate fireplace. She’d been fully prepared to run quickly for the hills if he’d been entertaining a female, and she was glad to see him alone.

  She knocked firmly and stood silently as she watched him get up and walk towards the door. He slowed when he saw her, but did not change course. He opened the door and stared at her brazenly and painfully silently. He was clearly waiting to hear what she had to say.

  She was fully willing to oblige. “I’m sorry.”

  It was all he needed to step forward and scoop her into his arms. He picked her up in a cradle position and kicked the door closed behind them. She looked up at him surprised at being literally swept off her feet until he put his head down to kiss her thoroughly and passionately. She welcomed his mouth and threw her arms around his neck and joined the fervor gratefully.

  He carried her down the hall and threw her onto the bed where she lay prone and still as she waited to see what he would do. He tore off his shirt and jumped on the bed on top of her. He began to undress her in frenzy and she helped him to do it quickly. He was kicking off his pants as he buried his face in her chest and kissed and fondled her breasts. She moaned as his hands traveled between her legs and he began to eagerly separate them to accommodate his hand. She moaned as he probed her gently and stimulated her determinedly until she climaxed violently on his hand. She had been wantonly stroking his shaft as he worked and he was more than ready when he spread her legs completely and entered her hard. She scratched her nails down his back and pulled him down to her and buried her head in his neck as he rode her. She screamed in ecstasy as he continued to drive into her and she clenched his ass to attempt to drive him even deeper.

  The both spent their passion and climaxed together. He fell satisfied to her side and looked over at her. “I thought you’d never come.” He said breathlessly.

  “With hand skills like that, I couldn’t help but come.” She joked. “Oh, oh, you mean you thought I’d never come over bearing a mea culpa.” She smiled.

  “No, I really thought you’d never come. My hand was killing me.” He said solemnly.

  She stared at him to see if he was kidding and he cracked a small smile and she laughed and pushed his arm lightly. “I’m sorry.” She said seriously.

  The smile faded off his face. “Thank you for coming over. Why did you change your mind?”

  “Troy told me that he’d been seeing Mercedes and it made sense to me that you would react the way you did, on top of you being confused upon seeing him, since you didn’t know he was my brother. It’s completely understandable.” She admitted.

  “I couldn’t be sure they were having sex, since she’d never mentioned it, but I figured they had to be. He was around a decent amount.” Bryan explained.

  “Well, they definitely were. Why didn’t you tell me?”

  He shrugged. “It really wasn’t for me to tell, plus I didn’t know the nature of their relationship for sure. Once I found out you were his sister it could have been explained by him dropping you off at the mansion, though I highly doubted it.”

  “Why didn’t you tell the cops about him? They wanted to know who her lovers were.”

  “I didn’t even know his name, and honestly didn’t even think of it. I saw her with a lot of random men.” He told her. “Do you suspect him?” He asked suddenly.

  “Of course not.�
� She said sharply.

  “Just because he’s your brother?” He prodded as he stared at her unflinchingly.

  “No, because I know him, and he is not a killer,” she insisted. “Just like I believe you are not a killer.”

  “I didn’t lie about my relationship and then marry her sister who was your best friend.” He argued.

  “Are we really going to start fighting again?” She asked exasperated.

  “No, we are not.” He told her. “You know my opinion now, and we can move on.”

  “To what?” She said stubbornly with her arms crossed over her naked chest.

  “Well,” he said with a smile as he edged closer to her. “Where were we?”

  She feigned continued anger and stayed with her arms crossed as he laughed and pried them away from her breasts. “Who says I want to do anything with you now?”

  “You don’t?” He asked softly as he nuzzled her stomach and trailed down between her legs.

  “Well, maybe just for the next five minutes.” She said with a joking smile, but he couldn’t see it as his head was now firmly buried. She took a sharp intake of breath and enjoyed what he had to offer.

  After they’d had sex again they pulled on their undergarments and sauntered out to the living room where the fire was still roaring invitingly. He’d given her an oversized shirt which she gladly put on, since she knew from experience that the living room was very visible from the outside. He offered her a drink and they sipped their cocktails next to the fire. The house was very sparse in furnishings and it would have been a stretch to call it decorated. It was very tasteful and looked as though there was nothing present that wasn’t usable or had an exact purpose. It was definitely utilitarian bachelor décor.

  “This is a nice place.” She commented.

  “Thank you, I like it. Not as nice as your place.” He told her.

  “Well, mine comes with complications.” She laughed, pulling her bare legs under her as she situated on the couch.

  “Oh?” He asked curiously, next to her.

  “Yes,” she said staring at him intently. “A ghost.”