Das landhaus am Rhein. English

by Berthold Auerbach

  CHAPTER XVII.

  THE SERPENT IN EDEN.

  As Manna stood at the window, looking out into the darkness, she laidher burning bands upon the window-sill, uttering brief exclamations toherself of hope and desolation, of rejoicing and complaint. Only thestars saw her face with its changing expression of rapture and ofagony, and her kisses were given to the empty air. She looked up to thewell-known stars, and all their glittering host seemed but thereflection of Eric's beaming eyes.

  "Why am I alone? Why should I ever be alone again for an instant?" sheasked of the night.

  A feeling of utter loneliness came over her. She thought of the nunwhom she had seen the day before at the station, who looked neither tothe right or to the left, going from convent to convent, and from onesick-bed to another, and who wanted nothing that the world could give.How would it be if a voice should now say to her; Thou art mine; turnthy gaze, put off that disfiguring disguise; look around; let otherslook at thee and greet thee with smiles; hope, despair, be joyous, besad, be not forgetful of all else in subjection to one fond, painfulidea!

  It seemed to Manna as if she were standing upon the verge of a dizzyprecipice, now about to be dashed over it, and now drawn back; shelooked round, for she felt as if Eric's arm were actually about her,and lifting her up into the world. Into the world! What a world! Shepassed her hand over her face, and the hand seemed no longer to behers. Turning back into the room, she threw herself on her knees.

  "Woe is me! I love!" she cried. "No; I thank thee, O God, that thouhast laid this trial upon me. This trial? no, I cannot help it! Thou,Thou who art Love itself, whom a thousand lips name, and whom yet nonecan comprehend, forgive and help me, help him, and help us all! May Ilive in him and in all that is holy and great, all that is beautifuland pure! Here I lie, slay me--slay me, if it is a sin! Heimchen, thou,my sister, a part of my own soul, thou didst flutter a moment in theair, like a blossom fallen from the tree. I, I must, amidst storm andtempest, remain upon the tree of life. O, let the fruit of good deedsripen in me, O Thou to whom I pray, and whom he reveres, though heprays not, he whose thought is prayer, whose action is prayer, andwhose whole life is prayer."

  She rose up and stood again at the window, gazing long, in a reverie,up at the starry sky. Out into the night flew something from Manna'swindow and was caught in the branches of a tree; it was the girdlewhich she had taken off.

  As Eric was sitting alone in his room, he heard a gentle rustling, andwas startled as if he had seen a ghost. What is that? He opened thedoor, and Manna stood before him. They silently embraced, and Mannasaid:--

  "I come to you; I am always with you in my thoughts,--in everything.Oh, Eric! I am so happy, and so miserably wretched. My father--do youknow it?"

  "I know everything."

  "You know, and still love me?"

  She kneeled down and embraced his feet. He raised her, and seatinghimself by her side, they talked together of the dreadful secret.

  "Tell me," she asked, "how you have borne it?"

  "Ask rather, how Roland will bear it!"

  "Do you think he will hear of it?"

  "Certainly, who knows how soon the world----"

  "The world! the world!" exclaimed Manna. "No, no; the world is good,the world is beautiful. Oh, thanks to the Unsearchable for giving to memy Eric, my world, my whole world!"

  Calmly, clearly, and with wonderful insight. Manna apprehendedeverything; but in the very midst of the recital, she suddenly threwherself upon Eric's breast, and sobbed forth:--

  "Oh! why must I have this knowledge so young, so early; why must Iexperience and overcome all this?"

  After Eric had calmed and soothed her, she went away.

  An eye had watched, an eye had seen. But they knew not that an eye hadwatched and an eye had seen.

  In an eye had the morning, on awakening, Manna cried, "I am beloved!his beloved! Is he awake yet, I wonder?"

  She opened the window. A young starling, that was now, even in theautumn, building its nest, found the thin hempen cord on the treebefore Manna's window, snapped it up in its bill, and flew away toweave it into the nest. Eric was below in the garden, and Manna calledto him:--

  "I'll be down immediately." And in the early dawn they embraced andkissed each other, and spoke words of encouragement to one another,needed for what must be borne to-day, for to-day her father and Prankenwere expected to return.

  They went towards the green cottage hand in hand, sat down where theyhad sat with the Mother on the previous day, and waited for her waking.In the midst of all the joy and all the suffering of a secret love,encompassed by perils, they wanted to learn what had taken glace at thecapital. They could not anticipate what had really occurred.

  Eric let Manna return alone. He told her that he had been at theMajor's the evening before, and he, wanted to go again, in order torequest him and Fraeulein Milch to keep the matter a profound secret.

  As Eric was going along the road, a carriage came up; his name wascalled, and Bella got put.

  "I am rejoiced to meet you alone. Do you know that we never see eachother alone in these days? But to-day I shall not be with you. Clodwigsends his greeting, and an earnest request that you will visit him atWolfsgarten. He is lonely and you are lonely, and it will be pleasantfor you to pass with him these first days of separation, and to staywith us until you have got somewhat reconciled to the absence of yourdear pupil. Clodwig has grand projects in your behalf. You can go backat once in our carriage to Wolfsgarten, and I shall be here with mysister-in-law until matters are arranged. Where is the dear child?"

  Eric escorted Bella to the villa, but he could not utter a word.Fortunately, Fraeulein Perini came up, and he could hand Bella over toher. He hastened to Manna and informed her in a few hasty words thatBella had arrived. She looked up, half roguishly, half pitifully, andasked:--

  "Is it true that you once loved her?"

  "Yes and no. Are you jealous?"

  "No, for I know that you have never loved, never; you can never haveloved any one but me. Come, Eric, let us now go up to her, hand inhand, and acknowledge at once what we are to each other, and alsobefore the world. Let us have no single moment of deception orconcealment. I have the courage to confess all, and I am happy to haveit to confess. Regard to the world must not deprive us of a moment, ofone single moment, in which we can see each other, freely take eachother's hand, and appear before the world, as we are in reality, one."

  Eric had great difficulty in bringing Manna to use foresight andprudence; he desired her, as the first token of their relation ashusband and wife, to conform to his will.

  Manna wept, and said peevishly:--

  "Very well; I will obey you, but I'll see no one."

  Eric tried every means to induce her to see Bella, but she refused,saying:--

  "Can you, the pure, the good, allow me to be so debased for an hour?How am I to endure it, how am I to conduct myself, if she salutes me asher sister-in-law?"

  Eric told her that Bella wanted him to go at once to Wolfsgarten, inorder to spend with Clodwig these few days in which he was unsettled.And when he pointed out the abnormal position of a dependant, Mannatenderly stroked his face, saying:--

  "You good man, you have to serve; yes, I know now what this is for you,the pure, lofty soul, whom all ought to serve. Ah, how much have you,dear heart, been obliged to bear! But it is well, for otherwise weshould not have become acquainted with one another. Come, I shall beable to do it. I will make myself do it."

  She went to receive Bella, and she had self-control enough to do it inan unexceptionable manner.

  Eric soon went away, and Bella was amazed to see the glance with whichManna followed him. Manna was desperate, talking much and in anunusually lively way, so that Bella was puzzled afresh.

  The Major was now announced; he came to congratulate Manna, and he didit in his cordial and clumsy way.

  "Do favor us with congratulations this evening, Herr Major, after
mybrother has returned."

  Manna turned away.

  Bella had seen enough; it suddenly flashed across her: She loves Eric.But no, that cannot be! She offered to embrace and kiss Manna, butManna begged her, with tears, to leave her in quiet to-day.

  Bella stood up erect and looked at Manna; it was the Medusa-look, butManna bore it quietly. Without another word Bella strode out of thehouse, and left the villa. What she thought, what she meditated, whocan tell? She herself did not know, and no one at the villa was at allanxious about it.

  After Bella had gone, the Major stepped up to Manna, who was standingmotionless, and said:--

  "You have done bravely, child--you've stood fire well--that's good! Youshall have a backer in me, and in Fraeulein Milch too; and if theybother you here in the house, you'll come to us; be easy, you're notall alone in the world. You'll ask her pardon, you'll find out--don'tspeak--you've a backer in me--and she told me to come here, she'd go tothe Professorin; she knows where there's need. I only wish when you'vebeen nine and forty years together you may be to one another what weare--you'll know--you'll have your eyes opened. Very well! Some peoplecan hold out bravely, she's done so. Very well--I haven't blabbed anything,--have I blabbed?"

  Manna smiled amidst her tears at the odd, incomprehensible, and yetaffectionate speech of the good Major.

  Whilst Manna and the Major were standing together, Bella went throughthe park.

  Hate, deadly hate was excited within her, and her eye seemed to beseeking something on which to vent her rage. What can I destroy here?what can I do to make people angry? Here are pyramids of flowers--if Ishould throw them all in a heap, if I should nip off the choiceplants?--that would be childish! She looked round for something invain.

  She had forced herself to appear friendly, but the constraint wasevident. She especially hated Eric and his mother; there was adifferent tone all through the neighborhood, and she had nothing to dowith it; these people had given it. Who are they? sermonizingpedagogues,--nothing but eternal second-hand traders in sublimethoughts! And she, Bella, the brilliant, the admired, who could onceconfer happiness by a single word, she stood in the background! Butthey must be off, these parasites, and they should be made to feel whothey are, and they should know who has found them out, who hasdemolished them!

  She thought about Eric, about the Mother, about the Aunt, as if lookingeverywhere for some hook by which to grapple them and dash them topieces.

  She went restlessly to and fro several times between the villa and thegreen cottage, and at last went into the Professorin's. Here she metFraeulein Milch.

  Stop! this is just the person! she shall be the hammer to hit theothers.

  When Bella entered, Fraeulein Milch got up, bowed very politely, and wasabout to go.

  "Do remain," urged the Professorin. "You are already acquainted withthe Countess Wolfsgarten?"

  "I have the honor."

  Bella looked at the modest person whom she was desiring to demolish,and then said:--

  "Ah, yes, I recollect. The Major's housekeeper, if I do not mistake?"

  "Fraeulein Milch is my friend," interposed the Professorin.

  "Your friend? I was not aware of that. You are very kind."

  "Fraeulein Milch is my friend, and is my noble assistant in the work ofcharity."

  "Ah, yes, you peddle out the money of Herr Sonnenkamp."

  It was uncertain whether this was addressed to both the ladies present,or solely to Fraeulein Milch.

  Bella saw how the Professorin's face quivered, and she felt greatlyencouraged. Now she had found out the point to begin at. ThisProfessorin had inflicted a wound upon her by means of her son--no, notthat, but she had wounded her personally, she had assumed a first partthat did not belong to her.

  And Bella continued:--

  "This wasteful expenditure on the abandoned, on notorious tipplers,will shortly cease."

  The Professorin now requested Fraeulein Milch to leave her; she hadnever kissed her yet, but to-day she embraced her affectionately andgave her a kiss. She wanted to calm her wounded feelings, to make hersome amends, and show the countess how highly she esteemed the personshe had so rudely attacked, who appeared so defenceless, or who did notchoose to defend herself. After Fraeulein Milch had gone, Bella said,--

  "I cannot conceive how you can be so intimate with this person; youdishonor thereby all who stand in relations of friendship with you."

  "I think that any one whom I esteem, and whom I unite to myself infriendship, is placed by this fact in a position of respect, and I havea right to expect that every one will show it."

  "Of course, of course, so long as you are here. But if you leave thevicinity before long----"

  "Leave the vicinity?"

  "The work here is now accomplished, and--"

  The Professorin had to sit down. Bella's eyes flashed; she had attainedwhat she wished; she had torn off all the tinsel from these people, whowere forever making a parade of spirituality, and decking themselvesout with sublime ideas, and now here they were naked and helpless.

  In a very courteous tone she said,--

  "Oh, I assure you, I should be very sorry to anticipate HerrSonnenkamp's dismissal."

  The calm bearing which the Professorin had been accustomed to maintainin all extremities, now failed her for the first time. She had had anextensive observation of life, but never had she seen this, had neverregarded it as even possible that there should be such a thing as puremalice, which has no other motive than to be malicious, and derives itsjoy from the suffering of others. In the feeling that this additionalexperience must now be hers, and in the endeavour to settle this in herthought and give it lodgment as an actual and accepted truth, she lostall ability to make any resistance.

  She cast up a glance at Bella that ought to have overcome her, butBella was resolved not to give way a single hair's breadth; she musthave something to rend in pieces, and as Eric could not be got at, hismother must answer instead. She continued talking for a long time,using very polite phrases, but the Professorin hardly listened, andscarcely noticed when she took her leave.

  Bella rushed triumphantly back to the villa across the meadow-path, gotinto the carriage, which was standing ready in the yard, and returnedto Wolfsgarten.

  Her passion for destruction was sated, and she felt relieved, and ingood spirits.

  BOOK XII.