Without You

by Kelly Elliott

  “Um…Mr. Bell…well, I, um…” I turned to look back at the wall of condoms. I didn’t mean to say it out loud, but I couldn’t stop it once it came out of my mouth. “There are so many. What’s the purpose of each?”

  Then, Mr. Bell kicked into his pharmacist talk. It was like he was talking to me about cold medicine, for Christ’s sake. I just stood there, frozen, unable to move as he pitched condoms to me.

  Where is the closest rock?

  “Now, most of these are about the same. It depends on what you and your partner are looking for.” He picked up a box labeled Magnum Ribbed. “These, for instance, have a spiral effect for extra stimulation.”

  Dying. I’m slowly dying.

  He set that box down and picked up the one next to it. “The Trojan Ecstasy is all about comfort. The shape gives you a more natural experience.”

  I quickly looked around and saw Katy laughing her ass off behind the counter at the front of the store. My mouth dropped open, and she laughed even harder.

  “The Trojan Bareskin is forty percent thinner. Again, it’s for a more natural experience.” He set that box down and picked up another one. “The Magnum Fire and Ice is probably more popular among the younger folks.”

  What did I do in my life to deserve this? Really, what?

  “The Fire and Ice has a dual action that provides a warm and tingling sensation to both partners.”

  Oh. My. God. He didn’t just say that.

  I quickly reached out and grabbed the Trojan Ecstasy condoms. “These are fine, Mr. Bell. They’re for Grace anyway. She’s a natural kind of girl.” The moment it came out of my mouth, I knew I would be in deep shit with Grace.

  Mr. Bell smiled and nodded his head. “How are your parents?”

  Awkward. I swallowed hard. “They’re doing great.” I looked down and whispered, “My father though…if he knew what I was doing, he might have a heart attack.”

  When I glanced back up, Mr. Bell smiled and nodded his head. “Tell everyone I said hello. Be safe, Alex. That goes for, uh…Grace, too.”

  I tried my best to smile. “Yes, sir.”

  I watched as he walked through the door. The pharmacy was closed.

  Why in the hell was he even here?

  I closed my eyes and shook my head. I quickly turned and made my way up to Katy, who was still giggling. I put the condoms down, and when I looked out the window, Will was gone. His truck was there, but he was gone.

  What in the hell?

  I looked back at Katy, who shrugged her shoulders. She looked out the window and then quickly rang up the condoms. She then grabbed a few bags of chips, put them all in a bag, and threw in some flyers.

  “Oh, Katy, I didn’t want the chips, and—”

  “Alex?”

  No. No, no, no, no!

  I gave Katy a look of horror as I heard my father’s voice coming from behind me. I smiled and turned around. “Daddy! Oh, hey.”

  He smiled and tilted his head. “Where’s Will?”

  I looked back out the window, and Will was crawling over his seat and getting into the backseat.

  “Um…”

  “Didn’t you say he was still at the party, Alex?” Katy said.

  I looked back at my father. I’d never lied to him before. “Grace was craving potato chips, so—”

  “She borrowed Will’s truck. How are you, Mr. Mathews?”

  My father glanced down at the bag in my hand. I was shocked my hand wasn’t shaking as I stood there and tried to seem normal.

  He looked up at Katy. “I’m doing good, Katy. How are your parents?”

  “They’re good. What can I help you with tonight?”

  He looked back at me. “I’ve had a terrible headache the last two days. I need more Advil.”

  My heart hurt, knowing that my father wasn’t one hundred percent happy about Will and me. I looked down and then back up at him. He smiled and winked at me.

  “I’m sorry, Daddy.”

  He walked up to me and placed his hand on the side of my face. “Go have fun, Alex. Be safe, baby girl. Don’t be out too late.”

  Oh God, the guilt. “Yes, sir. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” I turned and looked at Katy.

  She winked at me and motioned for me to go.

  I walked out of the drugstore and almost went to the passenger side of Will’s truck. Instead, I opened the driver’s door and climbed up. I threw the bag into the backseat.

  Will cried out, “Shit. Ouch! What in the hell is in the bag?”

  “I don’t want to talk to you right now, William Gregory Hayes. Not right now.”

  I started the truck and began backing out. I looked over and saw my father leaving and heading to his truck. I silently thanked God that Mr. Bell hadn’t come out to talk to him.

  “It’s safe to come out now,” I said as I shook my head.

  Will crawled over the seat and started laughing. “When I saw your dad’s truck, I just ducked down. Can you imagine if he had walked in while I was in there, buying condoms?”

  I slammed on the brakes.

  Will shouted, “Shit! Lex, what are you doing?”

  “Seriously, Will? Mr. Bell stood there and gave me a rundown on the different types of condoms. If my father had walked in two minutes earlier, I would have been the one getting caught buying condoms, and then my father would have killed both of us!”

  Will looked at me and then busted out laughing. I rolled my eyes and floored the gas. The more he laughed, the more I attempted to hold my laughter in.

  By the time we drove up to Will’s house, he had been laughing hysterically for a while, especially after I’d told him how Mr. Bell described each condom.

  Will jumped out of the truck, opened the back door, and grabbed the bag. We met in the front of his truck, and his smile faded as he searched my face.

  He placed his hand on my face and whispered, “I love you, Lex. I don’t want to do anything you’re not ready for.”

  My heart slammed in my chest, and I realized I’d been holding my breath. I slowly let it out and smiled. “I love you, too, Will. I’m not going to lie and say I’m not scared ’cause I am, but I know in my heart that I want this more than anything.”

  Will smiled again as he leaned down and gently kissed me. He took my hand in his and slowly led me to his house. The moment we walked inside, my heart began racing, and my head was spinning.

  Will walked us upstairs and stopped outside his bedroom. He turned and leaned back against his door. “Tell me what you want, Lex.”

  I looked into his eyes, and my heart instantly began to speed up. I knew what I wanted. I knew what I needed. “You. I want you, Will.”

  I never thought I’d experience the feelings I had at this moment. The moment Lex said she wanted me, my heart ramped up into overdrive.

  I need to make this special for her.

  Lex looked calm, too calm.

  She walked up to me and pushed her body into mine. “Please don’t make me beg, Will.”

  Oh. Dear. God.

  She brushed her lips against mine, and it didn’t take long before I was lost in her kiss. What started out as soft and gentle turned passionate and hungry. I reached for the doorknob and opened the door to my bedroom. Before I knew it, I had Lex on the bed, and we were kissing like we’d never kissed before.

  “Jesus, Lex. I’ve never felt this way before,” I whispered when I finally broke our kiss.

  She closed her eyes and then opened them again. She had the most beautiful blue eyes I’d ever seen. Her brown hair was lying against my pillow, and she looked sexy as hell.

  “Will, my body is aching for you.”

  I swallowed hard and sat up. She looked at me, confused, as she sat up, too.

  “Lex, before we do this, I want to do something. I mean, I want to give you something.”

  She smiled that sweet smile of hers, and my heart melted. There wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for her. Leaning back, I reached into my pocket and pulled out the ring
box. I took a deep breath and looked at her. She was staring at the box. She slowly looked up into my eyes. She seemed scared. I knew she was probably thinking it was an engagement ring, but we weren’t ready for that right now.

  I smiled as I opened the box, revealing the promise ring my mother had helped me design. The ring meant the world to me because not only did my mother help design it, but my grandfather had made it. He had taken up making jewelry after he retired, and he had made a successful business out of it.

  “Lex, I want to give you this promise ring as a symbol of my love and my commitment to our future together. I want you to know that when we make love tonight, when I take you as mine, I intend on making you mine forever.”

  Lex let out a small sob and quickly wiped away the tears rolling down her face. She looked into my eyes and whispered, “It’s beyond beautiful.”

  I reached for her hand and slipped the ring onto her finger. The ring was white gold with four small round diamonds framing the center diamond. The band consisted of two rows of diamonds that formed an infinity symbol on each side.

  Lex started crying harder as I pulled her hand up. I kissed the back of it and then the ring.

  “My mother helped design it, and my grandfather made it. This ring was made especially for you, sweetheart. I hope you like it.”

  “Will, it’s the most beautiful ring. I love it!” She threw herself into my arms and held on to me tightly.

  My heart was soaring, and I knew I had set the tone for what I hoped would be the most amazing night of her life.

  I pulled back and looked into her baby-blue eyes. “I love you, Lex.”

  The left side of her mouth moved up into a smile. She pulled her T-shirt up and over her head, and it felt like all the breath had been knocked from my body.

  “I love you, too, Will.”

  I stood up and dropped the box onto the floor. I reached for her hands and pulled her up into a standing position. When I reached down and touched her stomach, she jumped slightly. I moved my hand down and began to unbutton her jeans. My heart was pounding so hard in my chest that it echoed in my ears. I was sure Lex could hear it.

  I dropped to my knees. She held on to my shoulder while I pulled her shoes off. I reached up and began removing her jeans. I looked back up at her body and let out a moan. She was wearing black lace panties that matched her bra.

  “Your body is so beautiful, Lex.” I placed my hands on her hips, and I watched goose bumps cover her entire body.

  When I gently kissed her stomach, she let out a long, soft moan. Her hands went to my hair, and I had to force myself not to push her panties down and bury myself in her.

  A few weeks ago, the guys had been sitting around, and Luke had talked about his sexual encounters and orgasms. He’d said a girl needed to have a few orgasms before her first time. Luke’s words popped into my head.

  If given the chance, give her the first one through oral sex.

  I wanted to taste Lex, but I wasn’t sure how she would feel about it. I slowly began pulling her panties off as she moved one hand and began touching her breast through her bra.

  Holy shit. I’m gonna come before I even get inside her.

  “Oh God, Will…yes,” she whispered.

  If I’d thought my heart was beating hard a minute ago, it was about to pound the fuck out of my chest. She stepped out of her panties, and I just stared at her.

  I closed my eyes and then looked up at her. “Lex, I want to taste you.”

  She snapped her head down and looked into my eyes. When she smiled and nodded her head, I was pretty sure all the blood rushed straight to my dick. It was so hard that it hurt, and I was almost positive I was about to pass out. I stood up and reached behind her to unclasp her bra. I gently pushed it off her shoulders and looked at her amazing breasts.

  “Lex…I’m about to die.”

  She giggled. “Please don’t. You’ve got me so worked up, Will. Please…”

  “Lie down on the bed, Lex. I want you to be comfortable.”

  She bit down on her lower lip and quickly moved onto the bed. When she lay down on my bed, I had to close my eyes. I’d been dreaming of being with her for so long, and now, my dreams were coming true. I moved onto the bed and got between her legs. When I placed my hands on her upper legs, she jumped.

  “Lex?”

  She shook her head. “Please don’t stop. It’s just…your touch, Will. It always makes my body feel like electricity is running through it.”

  I swallowed hard. I didn’t want to mess this up for her. “Lex, I’ve never…I mean…you’re the first person I’ve ever done anything like this with. Baby, I just want it to feel good.”

  She lifted herself up and rested her body on her elbows. I saw the tears building in her eyes, and I wasn’t sure if they were happy tears or what-in-the-fuck-am-I-doing tears.

  She smiled sweetly and said, “Will, it’s all going to be perfect because it’s you. I’ve dreamed of this for so long.”

  I smiled at her and then moved between her legs. She was still watching me as I gently began kissing her inner thigh. When I looked up at her, she was chewing on her bottom lip. I used my tongue and ran it up her thigh, and she dropped her head back and let out a whimper.

  I started kissing her again, all around her sweetness. Lex’s breathing was increasing as I got closer and closer to the spot I’d dreamed about for years. I pulled back and closed my eyes as my dick throbbed in my pants. I took a deep breath and quickly swiped my tongue up and across her lips and clit.

  “Oh my God!” Lex cried out.

  Fuck. This is and will always be the hottest moment of my life.

  One taste of her, and I needed more. I repeated my action, but this time, I moved my tongue around her clit. Lex pushed her hands into my hair and pulled my face closer to her. I couldn’t help but smile. I began playing with her clit as I moved my finger up and slipped it inside her.

  “Will…feels…oh God. Yes.”

  Holy shit.

  I moved my fingers in and out of her body as she began to rock her hips.

  “Yes. More. Will, please more.”

  More? More what? Shit, shit, shit.

  I pushed another finger in and began sucking on her clit. She jumped as she began moaning and repeating how good it felt. Thank God I’d kept my damn pants on because I wanted so badly to release this crazy buildup. I moved my fingers apart some to stretch her, and she hissed in a breath of air. I stopped all movement.

  “No! Don’t stop. I’m so close, Will.”

  I pulled my fingers out and moved my tongue down to get a better taste of her. When I moaned, she bucked her hips into me even more.

  “Will…” she whispered.

  I moved back to her clit as I pushed three fingers into her this time. I began moving in and out, gently stretching her open more. She was so tight, and I couldn’t wait to be inside her. I began sucking on her again, and she lost it.

  “Yes. Oh God, yes. Will…I’m going to come. I’m coming! Yes!”

  In this one moment, knowing that I was doing this to Lex for the first time, I knew I would never be the same. She was it for me. I never wanted to touch another woman.

  I could feel her squeezing down on my fingers, and I had to do everything I could to stop myself from coming in my own damn pants. I looked up, and she was moving her head back and forth, calling out my name. When she finally started coming down from her orgasm, I quickly got up and pulled my T-shirt off.

  “No, wait,” Lex panted.

  I stopped and watched her get up. Her face was covered in a beautiful flush, and I grabbed her and pulled her to me.

  “Lex, can I kiss you after what I just did?”

  She slammed her lips to mine, and I let out a moan as she ran her hands through my hair. She placed her hands on my chest, and it was now my turn for my breathing to increase. Her touch drove me mad with desire. She slid her hands down to my jeans, and she began unbuttoning them. I said a silent prayer that God would
give me at least five minutes.

  She pulled back and looked into my eyes. “I want you, Will. I want you so much that it hurts.”

  I quickly removed my pants and kicked them to the side. She glanced down and smiled when she saw my boxer briefs.

  “I’ve waited so long for this,” she whispered as she hooked her thumbs on my boxers and began pulling them down.

  When my rock-hard dick sprang free, she let out a gasp. She snapped her eyes up to mine, and for the first time ever, I saw fear in her eyes. She swallowed hard and looked back down. I put my finger on her chin and pulled her face up until I was looking into her eyes.

  “Lex…I’m scared, too, sweetheart. Let’s just go slow, okay? I need to give you another orgasm, baby.”

  She glanced down and looked back up at me. “What about you?”

  I smiled and pushed her hair behind her ear. “Honestly, Lex, if you were to just blow on it right now, I’d come.”

  Lex laughed and shook her head.

  “Lie back down, baby.”

  She ran her tongue along her bottom lip and nodded.

  I’ve died and gone to heaven.

  My body felt like it was in overdrive as I moved back onto Will’s bed. The moment I had seen his hard-on, I’d panicked. He was huge.

  How did I not notice how big he is?

  I’d felt him before, and he had felt me, but it was never anything like this—with us so completely open to each other. He always made me stop before he came, and he’d say he’d take care of himself later.

  I lay back on the bed and watched Will move next to me. As soon as he touched me, I jumped.

  Shit. His touch makes my core just clench with need.

  He moved his hand down between my legs, and I closed my eyes. He slipped two fingers in and began moving them in and out. I didn’t want to come again. I wanted to orgasm with him inside me, and I wasn’t sure if I was going to or not. Maegan had said she had yet to orgasm while having sex. She’d also failed to tell me how amazing oral sex was.

  “Lex…baby, you’re so damn wet.” Will leaned down and began sucking on my nipple.

  Oh God. Oh God. That feels…so…amazing. How does he know what to do to make me—