Phoenixash: A Reverse Harem Romance (The Rogue Witch Book 4)

by KT Strange

  “You wouldn’t understand. You agree with them. You think we should go on the road, and keep running,” he spat each word out, the anger in them making my stomach tremble. I took a deep breath. We were at a tipping point. There was something fragile about him that I knew would break if I pushed. I just hoped he wouldn’t bolt off on me again.

  I silently begged him to stay.

  “I just want the guys to be safe. I want to be safe. I know that’s what you want too, right?”

  He rolled his eyes at my words and sat up.

  “Of course I want that. But I know we won’t have that if we run. We ran before, and look at us now, the past has caught up with us and we’re even less equipped than ever to fend off hunters.” He clenched his fist and stared down at it. “Time was, I could crush something like my cellphone in my hand without even thinking about it. Each day we get weaker. We can’t even shift now. Finn is taking longer than he should to heal from that cut, and my face. We’re going to keep running into hunters until one day, very soon, we won’t win. Maybe they’ll just get one of us at first, but they’ll just pick us off until there’s no one left.” His voice shook hard with every word, passion and fear overwhelming him. He met my eyes. “And at some point they’ll get you, Darcy, for daring to have fornicated with the beasts. You think I can live, or even die, knowing I couldn’t protect you? I want to make our stand now, while we still can.”

  Tears were clinging to my lashes. I blinked hard, willing them not to fall. He wasn’t wrong. I knew that.

  “There will always be more hunters,” I said, my final argument, the last thing I had to fight back with. “It doesn’t matter if we kill five, or twenty of them, more will keep coming. That’s why we need to run.”

  Charlie chuckled humorlessly and looked down at his hands, shaking his head.

  “Well, then I guess we’re fucked, aren’t we?” He got to his feet. “I’m going for a walk.”

  “You’re coming back, right?” I asked as he crossed the room, pausing at the door. He didn’t look at me, a sigh rushing out of him before he left me there to face the bleak reality of what our future looked like.

  On the run, or taking a stand, he was right. We were fucked.

  “I want to know how Max is doing,” I said the next day. Rains had come, casting long shadows everywhere as the forests seemed to grow under the clouds that hung low in the sky. My cell phone wasn’t working. I would’ve been freaking out more about work, except my internship had taken a very far back-seat to everything else I was dealing with, and Milen had needed to go back to the UK for the processing of her O1 visa. Willa, according to the email I’d received in one of the rare moments I actually had cell service, had given me the next three weeks off while Milen was out of the country.

  That break couldn’t have come at a better time. The pack was falling apart, snapping and fighting with each other, and not even their reunion with Frank could save them. I needed to talk to my best friend, and make sure she was okay. We’d had a big fight and she’d turned into a flame-monster, but we still needed to talk. Wolfe kept assuring me she was fine, but she wasn’t answering any of my texts.

  “Your friend is currently irritating the piss out of one of my compatriots, but she is fine,” Wolfe said, squinting in the rain. “Now, shall we arrange any more social updates? Perhaps I should get you the society section out of the local paper so you can keep better up to the date. In the meantime, this weather is the perfect conduit for your powers. Let’s think about seeing if you can conjure your own little rain cloud? Then you could give one to Charlie. He’s doing good imitation of that stuffed donkey, Eyesore.”

  “Eeyore,” I corrected him. Wolfe shrugged.

  “I haven’t paid much attention to popular culture.” That was a lie. I’d caught him humming along to Queen Bey’s latest track just that morning. “And despite my mistake, you still need to learn how to pull down the clouds. So. Let’s start with that today.”

  “Is there even any point?” I asked. “So I can water plants without lifting a finger? How will this ever help me?”

  Wolfe sighed.

  “I thought we were over this little temper tantrum, sulking routine. You should know by now that learning to stretch your powers as far as possible will make you a formidable opponent in any fight.” He wiped water off his brow.

  “But what if I don’t want to fight.” I swallowed. “What if I wanted to do something else with my magic?”

  “Such as?” Wolfe gave me a flat look. Gulping down a breath, I blurted it out,

  “I want to create a heartstone.”

  Wolfe stared at me and then snorted.

  “Think of the clouds above you, and imagine you are one with them,” he said. “Focus on them, constantly changing, never the same from one second to the next.” He was ignoring me. Did he not think I was serious?

  “Wolfe, I want to create a heartstone. The guys need one. Frank needs one too, unless you’ve got one hidden around here somewhere.” I gestured one arm out at the sprawl of land that surrounded us.

  “Very well,” Wolfe’s voice was icy. “How to do you intend to create one, when you can’t do some of the most basic storm magics that any eight year old could master?”

  The truth hurt but he was right. My ability to control my power would have been outstripped by someone half my age.

  “I...”

  “If you were to create a heartstone at this very instant, the powers would consume you, and tear you apart. You would shatter, Darcy, fragment into a nothingness that you should never, ever hope to experience.” His words weighed heavy on me, and it was only because he sounded weary, and not condescending, that it didn’t upset me.

  “Well, that sounds about what I thought would happen no matter what, so,” I shrugged and fell quiet. He eyed me, a frown on his lips.

  “You thought making one would kill you? Then why did you say you wanted to?”

  “Well, it’s not like I thought it would kill me especially. Just, you know, anyone who tried. I mean, that’s what it does, right, the spell? It kills the witch that casts it, and they’re almost never successful. The last one person who tried died while doing it.”

  “Who, pray, told you that?” Wolfe’s words had taken on a bitter quality.

  “One of my witch friends, she’s a few years younger than me, but she knows what she’s talking about.”

  “Sounds like she considers herself quite the expert in these matters.” Wolfe crossed his arms over his chest.

  “I would say so, she spends all her time researching—”

  “The kind of answers she would seek about a heartstone are not written down in books where any fool witch could stumble upon them,” he sounded regretful. “Perhaps for good reason. I will not lie, performing such magics is dangerous, and to the untrained witch, it brings death to them, of the peaceful variety. It has been so, in all cases I believe, with heartstones and such witches.”

  “Is there a kind of death that isn’t peaceful?” I asked. He gave a funny little laugh.

  “You are, after all, looking at it.” My cheeks flushed at his words. He pointed at the sky. “Now, call down the clouds.” I squinted up into the rain, grateful for the drops on my red face. It wasn’t that I forgot he was a vampire, it just didn’t matter as much as I would have thought, so I didn’t focus on it too much.

  “I’m not sure how—”

  “When you go to create a heartstone, there is no spell, no incantation. You must simply know. If you cannot call down the clouds with a thought, you will never create one.” Wolfe looked irritated.

  “Well you just said that I can’t make one without dying, so, what’s the fucking point of this then? Can’t we just go back to throwing electricity?” Disappointment weighed me down. There went hoping that Wolfe had an answer for the matter of a heartstone. Wolfe made an annoyed sound at the back of his throat.

  “You twist my words. I said to the untrained, creating a heartstone is a death sentence. To one who
masters her magics, she could expect perhaps, if possible, to make one. It is not the true creation of one that is so dangerous, but what comes after.” Wolfe squinted again at the clouds. My patience was wearing down to the quick with his half-sentences.

  “So, you’re saying that witches can survive making a heartstone, if they’re good enough?” I asked, trying to think of how to hedge my question specifically enough that he’d give me a straight answer. “How do you know? The last witch who made one died, and that was, what, decades? Centuries ago?”

  With a long sigh, Wolfe turned, gazing out into the forest. I waited. He was like a cat, sometimes, only doing things in his own time and refusing to come when called.

  “I know, because I was the last witch to create one in modern times,” he answered slowly, as if the words hurt him to say. “And here I stand, do I not? Enjoying the sun, just as you do. So your little friend is ill-informed. That witch did not die. The heartstone was created. And he was ever so feared among the witching world. Did that give you the answer you have been trying to pry out of me for the last five minutes?”

  I felt ill. He’d created a heartstone and he hadn’t died. But he was a vampire now, clearly undead. Was that what Daria had meant by the last witch who made one, died?

  “Are you quite done prying into my past? I’m not much fonder of the rain than I am of the sun, and I am concerned if I remain out here much longer my fingers might begin to prune.”

  “No, I’m good, let me... let me try,” I said. Wolfe nodded and waited for me to settle myself. The hollow feeling inside of me stayed, even as I tried to clear my mind.

  Now I knew why witches didn’t want to create heartstones. Because in doing so, we became monsters.

  Nineteen

  Darcy

  If I was quiet that night after my lessons with Wolfe, the guys didn’t say anything about it. Charlie was moody and sulky, taking most of the attention off me. The next few days passed, pretty much the same. I didn’t ask Wolfe about heartstones again, and he didn’t offer any further information. The guys probably had no idea that making one would apparently turn me into a vampire if I succeed, or I doubt they’d have ever asked in the beginning.

  Cash, with his love for me clear in every touch and glance, never would have if he’d had any clue that was the case. We’d have avoided a lot of fights if he’d known straight off that making one was going to be the end of me being alive, no matter how it played out.

  Sleeping was rough, even with the comfort of the pack. Charlie slept on the couch, like the stubborn asshole he was. Frank sometimes slept in the cabin with him, on the other couch. Being close to the older wolves of his original pack was making him very content.

  “If I trusted you to keep him in one piece, I’d let him go with you when you leave,” Wolfe remarked around the fire one evening. Cash and Ace were tracking Frank through the woods. It was some sort of ‘wolf training’ thing that they apparently did for young wolves back in the day, and Cash was determined to keep up the tradition. I was snuggled firmly into Finn’s lap, enjoying his warmth, an old checked flannel shirt of his wrapped around my shoulders.

  “He’s sweet, but not cut out for life on the road,” Eli replied with a shake of his head. The anger over Wolfe keeping Frank’s existence a secret had faded as we all saw how well Wolfe cared for the young shifter, hiding him away from a world that wanted him dead. “You’ve coddled him.”

  “And why shouldn’t I have?” Wolfe asked with a chuckle. “He lost everything, or so I thought. Had I known you were out there, I would have brought him to you. But as it was, I had another orphaned wolf pup to raise and didn’t want to deny him anything. He’s not anywhere near as spoiled as Mr. Chuckles over there.” He gave a jerk of his head toward where Charlie sat, staring at the fire, ignoring the rest of us like it was his job.

  Charlie glanced at Wolfe and said nothing.

  “He’s not spoiled,” Finn’s voice was wary, like he didn’t want to spark a fight. Being around Charlie had been like walking on eggshells since we’d gotten to Wolfe’s compound in the woods. “Just not talking to his pack like a normal wolf should.” The rebuke in his words was clear. I saw a muscles on the side of Charlie’s neck go tense as he grit his teeth.

  “Leave him alone,” I said gently, bumping the top of my head under Finn’s jaw. Yeah, I was mad at the other wolf, yes he was being a dick, but at the same time... it’s not like I didn’t know how it felt when the only option you could see was avoiding your problems. I could have probably written a master’s thesis on Avoiding Problems A La Darcy.

  Charlie muttered something too low for me to hear and the other three men around the fire went tense, their superior hearing picking it up. Wolfe looked pissed. Without another word, Charlie got to his feet and went into the cabin, slamming the door behind him.

  “That’s an incredibly spoiled little wolf-pup you’ve got there on your hands, mate,” the vampire sighed, getting to his feet. “And you’ll have to deal with him before he makes life more difficult for you. I am always fond of sitting on people when they get too caught up in their own nonsense. I would strongly suggest it.” He clapped Eli on the shoulder before giving me a stern look. “Straight to bed with you tonight, mistress. I’ll have no tired eyes at class tomorrow morning. Goodnight to you all. Send Frank back up to the big cabin once he’s done playing games in the woods.”

  The boys murmured their goodnights, and I waved at Wolfe as he disappeared up the hill into the darkness. Finn’s arms were warm around me and he nuzzled the back of my neck. Eli cleared his throat, and Finn shot him the finger as his other hand slipped under the flannel shirt I was wearing.

  “Do you ever think about anything else?” Eli asked, irritated. His eyes lingered on me, sliding down to where Finn’s hand rubbed slow, widening circles across my stomach under my shirt. His eyes narrowed, and when they shifted to my face, I could see the heat in them. I didn't want to breathe.

  “Yeah, some stuff,” Finn retorted. “Like how good she feels in my arms.” Eli growled and Finn laughed, his fingers skimming up “What're you so pissy for? You could've had this a long time ago if you weren't such a dick." Hearing him talk about me like I wasn't there, like I was something that could be possessed was, weirdly, a turn on. There was something wrong with me, I was certain of it. But Finn's hand was so warm, and his cheek was rough on the side of my neck as I let him rub there. It was like he wanted to consume me, surround me in his scent and touch.

  Eli's eyes were glued to me, his lips parted, and for a moment he tensed and leaned forward, like he wanted, so badly, to touch me. His fingers flinched, and I’d swear that he sighed when Finn's hand cupped my breast through my bra.

  Eli lunged to his feet. My skin was tingling, and when he moved toward me I half rose off of Finn's lap. He let me go, his hands lingering on my body. Eli's eyes were an icy-blue fire and he paused right in front of me. I stood to meet him. He stared down at me, and I could see the naked desire in his expression. I stayed still, breathing no longer an option.

  “You want this so bad, don’t you?” Finn was talking to both of us at the same time, his voice low, rough and unsteady. His hands on me dragged my shirt up, up my belly, up to my ribs, exposing my flesh to the night air. I gasped, unable to tear away my eyes from the man in front of me, and the way he looked at me like he wanted to devour me alive.

  “G’night,” Eli said, ducking around me, his boots crunching on the gravel as he left the fire pit and walked up onto the porch. We were silent for a moment, just Finn and me.

  “Stubborn ass,” he murmured. “Stubborn as Charlie, but with a little more self discipline.” I had to swallow back my disappointment. The rejection hurt. If I hadn’t seen how badly Eli wanted me, I would have been even more sore over it.

  Settling back into Finn’s lap with a grumble, he wrapped me up in his strong arms. I let my head slip back onto his shoulder so I could look up at the stars. They littered the sky, tiny pinpoints of light that puls
ed and swam in my vision.

  “Is it weird to feel disconnected and so plugged in at the same time?” I asked. The fire crackled, flames licking up into the air. Finn bounced his legs once, adjusting me in his lap so he could hold me tighter to him. “I keep waiting for him to break, or me to break, same with Charlie. I feel like I’m just waiting for everything to snap into place and it never does.”

  “Hmmmmm...” Finn drew out the noise, and his face pressed into the side of mine. His breath was hot on my ear. “It’ll make a good story to tell our pups.”

  “Our what?” No matter how good it felt to have the warmth of his words sliding over my neck, what he’d said made me sit up. Finn blinked at me, confused at my sudden movement.

  “Our kids,” he clarified.

  “Our kids. As in?”

  He shifted under me, his arms tightening on me like he thought I was going to run.

  “Don’t you want... kids?” A small frown tugged at the corner of his mouth.

  “Are we having a family planning talk, now?” I searched his face for an answer. “I thought you guys, you know, your junk works and stuff, but it’s just target practice. You’re shooting blanks. Right? That’s what you told me. That’s why we haven’t been using protection.”

  A cheeky smile crossed Finn’s lips.

  “Well, yeah, but one day you’ll be able to make a heartstone, and then? When we’re all settled... well. Maybe seeing Frank running around has given me some ideas, that’s all,” he replied.

  My eyebrows hiked up.

  “Well un-think those ideas, right now.” A flutter of panic was moving down my throat. Kids was a forever kind of thing. It meant being tied down, it meant no more life of my own. It meant an obligation to give up everything I’d worked for.

  “Darcy, hey, stop.” Finn adjusted his grip on me as I squirmed. “What’s wrong? I’m not talking tomorrow. You might never be able to make a heartstone, and that’s okay too... it changes things a bit, but that’s okay. What’s got you all itchy?”