“Have you eaten yet?” he asked. Had she even thought of herself while she was so busy caring for others?
She shook her head. “Not yet. My stomach was too agitated worrying about all of you.”
“You should eat something.”
Kyrin looked around the infirmary. The wounded seemed to be resting comfortably and no new patients were coming in.
“I guess it looks like Josef and Leetra have things under control.”
They turned for the mess hall, and she fell into step beside him. Silence followed them, but Jace’s mind was far from quiet. There hadn’t been time to ponder much on the wall, but now thoughts rushed in of things he needed to say and discuss with her, and it had to be tonight. He had already risked losing the chance.
When Kyrin received a bowl of stew and a roll from one of the women, Jace gently guided her toward an empty table in one corner. Though the others from Landale sat nearby, Jace needed a little privacy to talk, and Kyrin went right along with him. To be certain she didn’t mind, he asked, “Is it all right if we sit here?”
“Yes, this is fine.”
Jace waited until she sat down before taking the seat across from her. He didn’t say anything at first, letting her take a few bites of her stew first. Clearly, her hunger had returned. Finally she looked up at him, her expression receptive and waiting.
He licked his lips, his heart suddenly pounding. “I think we should talk about this morning.”
She nodded, her eyes holding a little sparkle, yet nervousness twisted his gut. Emotions and feelings, especially such unfamiliar ones, were sometimes harder to face and understand than the enemy outside.
“I feel like I should apologize.”
She looked at him in surprise, but he pressed on.
“I shouldn’t have done that. It was foolish and reckless. I’m sorry.”
Now that he’d had time to think it over, he realized he could have caused all sorts of unwanted complications. Still, she just gave him a quizzical look.
“Why?”
He shifted uncomfortably. “I should have talked to you first. I don’t want to have made things awkward or… ruined anything between . . .”
He let his voice trail off. Would she confirm what he expected? Her brow wrinkled a bit more as she waited for him to finish.
“Between you and Timothy,” he spat it out, cringing a little. He berated himself for not considering this earlier, before he had kissed her. It wasn’t as if he couldn’t see how close they were.
Kyrin’s brows lifted now, but a little smile peeked out. “Jace, the only thing between me and Timothy is friendship.”
Jace let out the breath he was holding. So it wasn’t more?
Her smile widened. “Besides, I’m not the one he’s interested in.”
Now it was Jace’s turn to be surprised. Timothy was interested in someone other than Kyrin? Who? But she didn’t get into that.
Blushing, she murmured, “You did surprise me this morning.”
Jace almost laughed as a little of his stress released. “I surprised myself.”
“I didn’t think you felt that way about me.”
“I never thought I could feel this way… about anyone.” He held her eyes earnestly. “But I do.” Uncertainty hit him again. “But if you don’t want it to be like that, I don’t want to ruin . . .”
“Jace,” she stopped him, mirth in her voice. She stared at him, her eyes getting a little watery. “You don’t know how I’ve hoped you would feel this way.”
“You have?” He sat back. All this time he had pined over her, she was just waiting for him.
Kyrin gave a little chuckle and nodded. “Honestly, I’m quite shocked I never realized how you felt. I mean, there were times I did wonder, but I guess I never dared to let myself hope. I didn’t want to be disappointed.”
Jace shook his head. He could have avoided so much heartache if he had just told her the truth in the beginning. “It would probably be a good thing from now on to be completely honest about how we feel.” That had never been easy for him, but he was determined to change it going forward, especially with her.
“I agree.”
Jace cleared his throat. Now that they had determined to be honest, he needed to confess, though he hated the feeling of inadequacy.
“I don’t really know how to go about any of this.” He paused, glancing at his hands. “I never thought it would have any place in my life.”
“Don’t worry,” Kyrin told him. “I don’t really know either, but after all we’ve been through I think we can figure it out.”
They shared a warm smile, and Jace’s anxiety melted away. How could it not, staring into her lovely face and knowing she returned his feelings? But then he noticed moisture building in her eyes again, and she looked down.
“What’s wrong?”
She tried to give him a smile, but the attempt wobbled. “I was just thinking about my father.”
A couple of tears slipped down her cheeks, and she swiped at them. Had he been sitting closer, Jace would have been tempted to wipe them away himself.
“He saw something between us before we did, I think. The first night we camped on the way to Valcré, he asked if we were just friends. I don’t think he believed me when I said we were. I guess he was right. Somehow, he knew.”
Wishing so much he could take some of the sorrow she would always carry, Jace reached his hand across the table. Kyrin took it and rested her soft fingers in his as he gently rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. They had never held hands like this before. He could still hardly believe she had stuck by him after how difficult he’d been. He shouldn’t even have this life at all after where he had come from. How good Elôm was to someone so undeserving. He almost felt hesitant to ask for more, but he had to pray that both he and Kyrin would survive past this struggle. He wanted so much to see what the future could bring them.
Jace’s attention drifted past Kyrin when her brothers walked in from their meeting. He did not know much about how to proceed with relationships, but he did know one thing. “I suppose I should talk to Kaden and the rest of your brothers.” The timing couldn’t be worse, but he didn’t want to hide how he felt anymore. They would see it, and it seemed more appropriate to tell them outright. Then, at least, he would know exactly where they stood on the matter.
Kyrin’s smile resurfaced and chased away any remaining tears. “You probably should.”
He pushed up from the table, reluctantly releasing her hand. “I’ll let you finish your supper while I talk to them.”
She nodded, and he crossed the room to where her brothers stood talking with the other Landale men. No one seemed aware that he and Kyrin had sat alone, except for Rayad, who wore a knowing look.
Jace waited for Marcus to finish speaking with Trask and then said, “Can I speak to you three?”
The brothers looked at him curiously.
“Sure,” Marcus answered.
Jace led them away from the table where they could talk in relative privacy. Most men had to face a girl’s father, not her three adult brothers. Jace didn’t know which would be more intimidating. And what if they turned him down? His stomach clenched, but he wouldn’t let fear deter him. They were his friends, after all.
He set his gaze on Kyrin’s twin and cleared his throat. “Kaden, you said once that anyone interested in Kyrin would have to meet with your approval.”
Kaden nodded slowly. “Yeah.” His brows lowered suspiciously. “Who’s asking?”
Jace drew a breath. Here went everything. “I am.”
Suspicion vanished, replaced swiftly by a look of surprise from Kaden. “You?”
“Yes.”
Kaden glanced at his brothers. Marcus and Liam had the beginnings of smiles on their faces. Even so, Jace held his breath, waiting.
“Well,” Kaden said, focusing once more on Jace, “I guess I don’t see anything wrong with that.”
“I suppose this would be the time to warn you that
if she gets hurt, you answer to us,” Marcus added in, “but you’re always the first one to jump in to protect her.”
Jace detected a hint of teasing and mock severity from both of them, but he took it seriously. “Still, you have my word. I could never hurt her.”
“Does she know yet?” Kaden asked.
“Yes, it sort of came out this morning.” He paused, but couldn’t come right out and say that he had kissed her. “I realized it might be the only chance to let her know.”
“Well, then, you have our approval.”
Marcus and Liam nodded in confirmation.
Jace breathed out, undeniably relieved. “Thanks. I wish I could have talked to your father too.”
The three of them sobered.
“He would have approved,” Marcus said.
Kaden agreed. “Yeah, he liked you.”
Jace’s eyes stung. He had only known him for a couple of days, but William Altair was one of the most honorable men he had ever met. He would never forget the one time they had talked. Kyrin was so much like him.
Clearing his throat, Jace thanked them again, and they turned back toward the table. Along the way, Kaden gave him a half-hearted slug to the shoulder that lost most of its effect through his armor.
“Took you long enough.” The mischievous look had returned to his expression.
Jace laughed. “Trust me, I know.”
Kyrin had joined the men at their table. She glanced at Jace, and then questioned her brothers with a look. At their smiles and nods, a grin lit her face. The others at the table caught the exchange.
“What’s going on here?” Trask asked, his eyes holding a distinct twinkle.
A little blush rose to Kyrin’s cheeks, and she looked down shyly. Jace couldn’t hold back a grin, half in light of his joy, and half in light of her cute face.
“Oh, I know what’s going on,” Holden said.
By now, it would have been hard to miss. There were some lighthearted jests, and everyone insisted that they knew this would happen. Jace was beginning to think he and Kyrin were the only two who hadn’t thought so. Words of encouragement followed the good-hearted teasing, and conversation slowly drifted back to the events of the day.
Sitting beside Kyrin, Jace didn’t hear much of it. He was too intent on her. Now that he had accepted and declared his feelings, he realized they were even deeper than he’d first thought. Every fiber of his being wanted to be with her, to protect her, to do whatever it took to make her happy always. Once in a while, she looked over and caught him staring. She smiled her gentle, innocent smile, laughter in her eyes.
It grew late fast. The cretes offered to take the night watch in case Daican’s army tried a surprise attack. Most men had already sought sleep when the Landale group left their table. In the hall, they paused. Jace took particular notice of Kyrin’s brothers lingering at the other end. As much as he would have liked a moment alone with Kyrin, he commended them for taking their roles seriously. It was a little odd, though, to have them now watching so closely. He had always feared that his feelings would change their friendship. Things had changed today, but he certainly couldn’t say it was for the worse.
Turning to Kyrin, he smiled, something he probably hadn’t done so much in his entire life. She smiled back at him, and he glanced at her upturned lips. After the kiss this morning, another was incredibly tempting, but he thought it wise to take things slowly and not get carried away. They may have declared their feelings for each other, but that didn’t mean she was his.
“Good night,” Jace murmured.
She echoed him softly, and he was happy to see her like this instead of so worried.
Moving reluctantly, they parted. In the sleeping quarters, Jace walked quietly to his cot and lay down. With everything on his mind, he barely noticed the chainmail he still wore. He closed his eyes, and sleep claimed his body quickly as he drifted into a slumber of calm and peace.
“I don’t know if I’m ready for this again.” Kyrin looked up, her wide eyes displaying the deep internal struggle to fight fear.
Jace understood just how she felt. The night had passed much too fast. Now they stood in the courtyard once more just before dawn, trading goodbyes that could be their last. The fact that they had already experienced one day of battle didn’t make this new one any less certain or difficult to face. So much could change in the next hours.
He stared down at her. These moments were too fleeting. They needed more than the few minutes they had. It was hard to see her scared and not be able to fix it. He took her gently into his arms, and she curled into his chest, her head tucked under his chin. She breathed out a heavy sigh, and he held her tightly. He wanted to will some of his own strength into her to help her endure the day. What would she do if she lost all of them? It made him sick inside.
Her voice came to him, small and quiet, but achingly desperate. “Please don’t die.”
The tremor at the end told him she was crying. He ached to console her and tell her he wouldn’t, but he didn’t have control over the future. He couldn’t make such promises under the very real threat of breaking them. It left him at a loss, but then he spoke what was beating so clearly in his heart.
“I love you.” He never imagined such words could be so easy to speak, but he meant it with everything inside him.
She pulled away from him just enough to look up, her eyes a watery, earnest blue. “You do?”
He nodded and began wiping away the tear streaks from her face, as he had wanted to the night before. Her cheeks were so soft under his fingers, and he savored it.
A smile flickered across her lips, but her voice was still a little choked. “I love you too.”
And Jace couldn’t think of anything more satisfying to hear than those words. Elôm had blessed him beyond anything he could imagine by placing her in his life. If only she could know exactly how much it meant to him.
He dropped his hands to cup her shoulders. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I don’t know if I’ll ever understand exactly why, but from the moment we met, you’ve been fighting to help me.” No one besides Rayad had fought for him the way she had. “You’ve always brought out the best in me, and I am grateful for that.”
Her eyes grew teary again. “And thank you for being there for me when I’ve needed it. I think you always underestimate your worth to me.”
Jace sighed. That was true, but he would try to work on it.
By now, the courtyard stretched around them, almost emptied of soldiers save for the dragon riders. Arcacia’s first attack would surely come at any minute.
“You should go inside now,” Jace said gently.
Kyrin nodded, but didn’t move to pull away just yet.
Jace gave her shoulders a gentle squeeze. “Remember, while you’re taking care of everyone else, take care of yourself too. Make sure to eat and rest when you can.”
Another strained smile peeked out. That was just the sort of thing she would normally tell him.
“I will.”
Jace put his hand to her cheek again, memorizing every detail of her face, and peered into her eyes. From the beginning, they seemed to see right into him, but always looked past the darkness to see the good. He placed a quick kiss on the top of her head, inhaling the scent of her, and then motioned to the keep. She turned toward it, her face set bravely. Her hand brushed his, linking for a moment as she moved past. When the connection was broken, Jace sighed and watched until she entered the keep. She paused to look back in the doorway, and Jace prayed once again that they wouldn’t die.
The moment she was out of sight, Jace hurried to the wall and climbed the stairs to locate the others. Taking his place between Holden and Rayad, he looked to the south. Things appeared quiet across the river so far. Surely it would be only minutes before the attack began, but Jace had so much on his heart. He turned to Rayad.
“I’m sorry.”
Rayad gave him a questioning look, and Jace continued, “For how I shut
you out when I was struggling. After what happened in Ashwood, I felt like I was losing the only family I had and lost sight of how you, Kyrin, and others have been my family. And in thinking of what could have been if Elian had been my father, I forgot all you’ve done for me. I’m sorry. No matter what has happened or what will happen, I will always consider you my father.”
Rayad’s eyes turned a little misty in the dimness. He gripped Jace’s shoulder, his voice thick. “It’s an honor to consider you my son, Jace. You’ve made me very proud.”
Jace flashed a smile, but couldn’t hold it as his throat swelled too. Kyrin wasn’t the only incredible blessing Elôm had placed in his life. He took a deep breath, glad he had spoken because, a moment later, the now familiar mechanical sound echoed in the distance. His gaze jerked to it and locked on a rapidly growing dark projectile on its way.
Kaden settled in on Exsis’s back and faced his men. His body still hurt from yesterday and he didn’t feel like he’d had nearly enough hours of sleep, but he pushed it away. Today they all had to be strong. He thought of General Mason’s meeting last night and their discussion of the enemy’s tactics. He gathered his voice.
“Yesterday we got our first taste of what we’re up against. We believe the first attack was to test us. Test our strength and find our weakness. Today they will surely attack harder. We saw a little of that last night. Watch your backs. And more than that, watch each other’s backs. We have a greater chance of survival if we stick together as much as we can. Is everyone with me?”
The men voiced their assent.
A resounding crash shattered the air at the wall behind Kaden. The bombardment had begun, and no doubt firedrakes were on their way. Grabbing the saddle bar, Kaden gave the command to fly.
Once again, they took to the early morning sky. Just as Kaden suspected, the firedrakes had nearly reached the wall, but the dragons formed a line to meet them. There was no hesitation today on Kaden’s part. Despite his weariness, a fire burned inside him. Today would be an ugly fight, but he was ready for it.
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