Chasing Benedict (The Gentleman Courtesans Book 5)

by Victoria Vale

  “I won’t believe it,” David went on. “Benedict Sterling, notorious rake is a … a …”

  “A man who prefers other men,” Benedict filled in. “Believe it, because it’s true. Alex and I have a deep, long history, and I love him. We are more than friends, more than lovers. I do not think a word exists that could adequately describe it. But my life is with him now. I know this may come as a shock, but I cannot live in the dark anymore—not among my family.”

  “Soul-mates,” Lucinda offered. “I believe that’s the word you’re looking for. In Plato’s Symposium, two halves are betrayed as having once been a whole. When the halves find one another, they cling together, searching for wholeness and love. That is what the two of you are, and I am happy for you both, but especially you, Ben. After all you’ve done for Aubrey and I, you deserve to be happy.”

  “Hear, hear,” Hugh said, breaking his silence. “And for the record, I knew all along.”

  David thrust his elbow into Hugh’s ribs. “You did not, you filthy liar.”

  Hugh shoved David aside. “I did, but I never said anything because I couldn’t be certain and it wasn’t my place. Perhaps the rest of you were too drunk to notice that while Ben always brought whores back to wherever we decided to flop for the night, he never used them. Not once.”

  “Goddamn it, you’re right,” Nick said, pushing a hand through his hair. “I thought it was because he was too particular for his own good. I never imagined …”

  “You are still the man I know and admire,” Hugh said, offering Benedict his hand. “This changes nothing for me.”

  “Or me,” David quickly put in. “I cannot pretend to understand it, but you’ve changed, Ben. I suppose you are responsible, Alex?”

  Alex lowered his gaze as if suddenly shy of all the attention. “I cannot take all the credit.”

  “Yes, you can,” Benedict argued.

  David offered Alex his hand, giving it a hearty shake. “Then you are part of this family, too. If Benedict loves you, you are one of us now. Watch out for Nick, he cheats at cards.”

  Expecting a swift denial, Benedict glanced up to find Nick had detached from the group to stand near the window. As the others gathered around Alex to offer their support and acceptance, Benedict moved toward him, disheartened by Nick’s silence and withdrawal.

  Aubrey met him in the center of the room. “He’s hurt Ben. He asked me if I already knew, but he didn’t have to. He already realized that I knew.”

  Benedict sighed. “I never meant to hurt him. I only ever wanted to protect him.”

  “Tell him that,” Aubrey urged, giving Benedict a gentle push in Nick’s direction.

  Trepidation curled in his gut as Benedict braced himself for what might occur. Nick might be disgusted by him, or angry that he’d been kept in the dark. Perhaps their bond really was ruined now.

  He stood beside Nick, who braced an arm on the frame and stared out into the night. The sky was clearer in the country, offering a stunning view of a full moon and blanket of stars over the landscape. Benedict watched Nick from the corner of his eye, uncertain whether he should speak first.

  Fortunately, Nick took that decision out of his hands. “How long?”

  “Since we realized we loved each other? It happened at Cambridge, though looking back, I realize I always felt something more than friendship toward him. Nick, we never meant to shut you out, but you have to understand … Alex and I could have lost everything by allowing too many people to know.”

  “And I suppose you thought I couldn’t keep quiet. Aside from being a drunk and a gambler, I also don’t know how to hold my tongue.”

  “Nick—”

  “Why Aubrey? Just tell me that much. I was with him when he stormed your house to free you from that mad-doctor. While he pulled you from that tub, I was the one who held your father back. Aubrey took you to that room above his shop, but I fetched the doctor and sat with you until you awakened. I visited with your favorite foods and coaxed you to eat. I did my damnedest to make sure you survived because you were more than my friend, you were my brother … and you were half-dead, but I needed you. And when all was said and done, Aubrey was the one you credited with saving your life. Am I so insignificant to you?”

  Benedict felt the blow of each accusation, momentarily struck dumb by the truth in them. While Nick looked on, he struggled for words until only two fell out of his mouth.

  “Thank you.”

  Nick scoffed. “I don’t need you to placate me with thanks.”

  “No, but you do need to know a few things. Someday, I will tell you why I’ve always said that Aubrey was the one who saved my life. I see you as my brother, just as you see me. It’s also the way I feel about him. He and I always shared a bond because we both inhabit a world where there are few men like us. At least I can hide my differences. Aubrey can never shed his skin, not that he’d ever want to. It was enough to make us rely on each other when it felt like we had no one else. But you and I … we shared a bond too, though I don’t think I ever told you why.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Haven’t you ever wondered why I treated you differently than the others? Why I was so invested in you securing your future, settling down, and managing your funds?”

  “Well … no. You were always like a mother hen. You kept us all in line.”

  “Yes, but you were a special case. I saw you drowning yourself in drink and gorging on women and gambling, and I worried. You were on a destructive path, one very much like my own. You listened to me, you came to me often for advice, and I felt responsible for you. We were both essentially fatherless, the castoff sons. We both made our own way while thumbing our noses at those who derided us. If I was harsher with you than the others, or more concerned, it was because I knew you could take it. I knew that because we are the same. I saw myself in you. Perhaps I was wrong to keep secrets and not to trust you as I did Aubrey, because the truth is … he might have saved my life, but so did you—and not just by nursing me back to health. You, Aubrey, Hugh, and David became my family, and I needed that more than anything. People to care for, to love … to, I hoped, love me back in some way, in any way. I was that desperate for it, and when I felt I was losing you all one by one, I became—”

  “A right bastard,” Nick cut in. “But we all knew you were suffering. None of us knew how to reach you but Aubrey.”

  “Now, you do too. The one thing I haven’t told you must wait. Tonight is a happy occasion, and I don’t want to spoil it. I just wanted to know that we will be all right—you and I.”

  Nick took Benedict’s offered hand, then drew him in closer for an embrace. Benedict clutched him back in shock, never remembering a time Nick had ever been so free with affection.

  “We will always be all right. Like you said, we’re family. Families fight, but they make up and they move on. If you and Alex are happy together, then that is enough for me. What you prefer otherwise is none of my business.”

  Benedict clapped Nick’s shoulder as they pulled apart, then they went to join the others, accepting fresh glasses of port from Hugh.

  “A final toast,” Aubrey said, raising his glass. “To Ben, the greatest matchmaker in all of England. You always said you weren’t arranging marriages, but you knew us well and too easily recognized our perfect counterparts. Perhaps you ought to go into a new line of business.”

  Drawing Alex into his side, Benedict lifted his own port. “As of this moment, I am officially retired—from both matchmaking and boxing.”

  Stunned looks greeted him, along with Nick and David's protests—but none of them were as shocked as Alex.

  “I thought you said you needed pugilism,” he said. “I would never have tried to force you to stop.”

  “I know,” Benedict replied. “By the way, I didn’t say I needed pugilism … I said I needed the pain, to feel something, to have a purpose. What need do I have of boxing when I have you? You give me joy and love, and it has proven enough to cure me
of my need for pain. After this final match, I’m finished. You are all I will ever need.”

  They shared a quick kiss before everyone else joined in on the toast, glasses raised high. Their voices echoed from the high ceilings as one chorus.

  “To Ben!”

  Epilogue

  Benedict leaned back against the supportive weight at his back, still marveling as he had all those years ago that Alex’s chest was as smooth as his was hirsute. A wet hand trailed through the wiry curls, a pair of soft lips grazing the back of his neck.

  “Someone seems to be enjoying his bath,” Alex teased, his other hand splashing in the steaming water lapping at Benedict’s belly.

  “That’s because I have a pleasant diversion. How we both managed to squeeze into it is beyond me. How the devil are we going to get out?”

  Alex nipped at his ear, and Benedict’s cock responded as his mind was taken off the near-crippling fear of being immersed in a bathtub. He had promised Alex he would try it, not knowing that his darling would include himself—naked and wet—as part of the bargain.

  “Getting out is half the fun,” Alex murmured, his hand sliding down Benedict’s stomach.

  “Hmm,” Benedict mumbled. “I think I like baths now. I’ll like them even better if you move that hand a little lower.”

  Alex withdrew his hand and turned Ben’s head to inspect his face. “I think not. Fisher’s orders were strict—you are to rest and avoid overexerting yourself for at least a sennight.”

  Benedict winced as water from his wet hair leaked into the split skin over one eyebrow. It was one of a dozen small injuries sustained during his final match—one hard fought and hard won. His opponent—a leviathan named Bruno with more strength than sense—had given Benedict quite a walloping before finally succumbing to a brutal uppercut. Benedict wouldn’t be surprised to learn that the man would have to drink his meals for the next fortnight or so.

  After the match, he and Benedict had retreated to Alex’s townhouse, where they closeted themselves away for time alone.

  “What if I lie really still?” Benedict pleaded. His blood was always feverish after a fight, and just now it was rushing straight to his cock. “You could stroke me off right here in the tub. Or … if I lift up just enough, I could ride your cock until you—”

  “Enough, you brazen slut,” Alex chided. “There will be plenty of time for that. You’re officially retired, and we are free to do as we please. The moment your sennight of rest is over, I will fuck you until you are unable to sit.”

  “Not if I get to you first,” Benedict grumbled. “But then … what will we do now? As you said, we have the world before us and nothing but time and each other, and Ella.”

  Alex toyed with a lock of Benedict’s hair with a wistful sigh. “You know, I always regretted that we never made it to France. What do you think of a continental tour? Ella would love the shopping in Paris.”

  Benedict rolled his eyes. “Ella isn’t old enough to understand the intricacies of shopping with you.”

  “She’s her father’s daughter,” Alex said with a sniff. “Her taste is exquisite, and she will love it.”

  With a laugh, Benedict reached back and patted Alex’s neck. “If it’s Paris you want, then you shall have it. Let’s take the first packet we can find leaving Dover. We will travel and introduce Ella to the wonders of France, and when we’re done, we’ll take her to Italy, then Greece. She’ll be more cultured than any lady her age in no time.”

  Wrapping both arms around him, Alex kissed Benedict’s temple. “Thank you.”

  “For what? I wanted to go to France, too.”

  “For accepting Ella. You’ve been so wonderful to her, and I think she’s under your spell.”

  “The sneaky little lamb has learned that I’m the best at rocking her to sleep, and I know better than you what to do when her gums are sore.”

  A brandy-soaked rag had earned him Ella’s favor, and from the moment he’d first held her—trying to soothe her cries as she rubbed her fist against sore gums—Benedict had been her willing slave. The girl was most certainly her father’s daughter—charming, beautiful, and capable of wrapping Benedict around her chubby finger. He’d been doing a fine job of spoiling her rotten, even when Alex insisted she not be held constantly, or that Benedict was too rough when they played. Ella always had a smile for him, and screamed with delight when he tossed her—carefully and mindfully—about.

  “There is nothing to thank me for,” Benedict replied. “Ella is a part of you, so how could I not want to make her happy?”

  “You have made us both ridiculously happy.”

  “Does that mean you’ve changed your mind about letting me ride your cock?”

  Alex issued a low groan. “No, but if you hold very, very still …”

  Benedict sucked in a sharp breath and did what he was told as Alex’s hand closed around his erection, teasing and toying with him.

  “Oh, God, that’s perfect,” he moaned, closing his eyes and submitting to bliss.

  “Yes, it is,” Alex whispered. “And so are you, my love.”

  London, 1820

  One month later …

  To my dear friend, Benedict,

  I hope this letter finds you in the best of health and spirits, and that you and His Lordship are enjoying your time abroad. I am writing to inform you that I have followed your instructions regarding the remaining Gentleman Courtesans, with one important exception. I hope you will forgive me for acting against your dictates, but as you left the matter in my hands, I could only proceed as I saw fit.

  When you hired me, I was lost and searching for purpose. I saw a kindred spirit in you, one that I clung to for the simple fact that you were the sort of man I wanted to be. You have molded and shaped me until I have developed a mind like yours for the intimidating task of managing courtesans and the women who hire them.

  As well, in my conversations with our remaining gentlemen, I have found that many of them do not wish to be cut loose with the settlements you promised. With Cynthia Milbank tucked away in some far-flung place, they feel more confident than ever that their business can go on as before.

  And so, it falls to me to guide them, to help them as you did me and all the others. Do not despair for our safety. Thanks to Lord Vautrey, we may now develop a new operation—one that will keep us hidden from prying eyes and wagging tongues.

  Thank you again for all that you have taught me, and I hope you will understand why I decided as I did. The other gentlemen and yourself may not have known it at the time, but you were all searching for something and were fortunate to find it. While I am certain that what I’m searching for isn’t as intangible as love or companionship, I cannot deny that I share such a need to go out and find what is waiting for me. Any gentleman who feels such a compulsion will be afforded that same chance.

  I have destroyed the bank drafts you sent, as it did not feel right to use the funds you meant as retirement pensions for the gentlemen for my own means. However, with smart management and savings, I have accumulated enough of my own money to invest in this renewed enterprise.

  Please give my regard to Lord Vautrey and thank him for the Parisian truffles he sent with your last letter. I know only he would have a taste for such fine sweets, which I will savor for as long as I can.

  Faithfully yours,

  Warin Lyons

  Author’s Note

  The Gentleman Courtesans will continue…

  With the mysterious Warin Lyons at the forefront, a new crop of gentleman courtesans are ready to take over London—seducing ladies (and gentlemen), and losing their hearts in the process.

  Look for the 6th installment of The Gentleman Courtesans in 2021.

  Sign up here for email updates about the series and get a free Gentleman Courtesans novella!

  XOXO,

  Vicki

  Chasing Benedict Playlist

  Click here to listen on Spotify!

  Fall Into You by Rosehardt

/>   Hello by Jade Novah

  Walk Away by JMSN

  To Me by Alina Baraz

  Do U Remember The Time by JMSN

  Be by Daley

  Bring Me Back by Marie Dahlstrom

  Falling Like the Stars by James Arthur

  High Hope by Patrick Droney

  I Won’t Give Up by Jason Mraz

  Distance by Yebba

  Fall On Me by A Great Big World & Christina Aguilera

  Stay With Me by Sam Smith

  For Me, It’s You by Lo Moon

  Mad by Adele

  The Gentleman Courtesans

  Series Reading Order

  Now Available:

  Tempting the Bluestocking (prequel novella)

  Portrait of a Lady

  What a Courtesan Wants

  Making of a Scandal

  Taming of the Rake

  Chasing Benedict

  More by Victoria Vale

  Enjoy this Dark Romance series, The Villain

  The Villain

  The Dove

  The Butterfly

  The Damsel

  The Gift

  The Scandalous Ballroom Encounters Series

  Masquerade

  A Marriage Most Scandalous

  Tempting Two

  Submitting to the Marquis

  Dominating Mr. Darling

  Her Beautiful Bastard

  Scandalous Christmas Encounters Vol. 1

  Scandalous Christmas Encounters Vol. 2

  Scandalous Christmas Encounters Vol. 3

  About the Author

  Sexy heroes … sassy heroines … electrifying erotic romance.

  Victoria Vale has written over two dozen Romance and Young Adult novels under various pseudonyms. As a lover of erotic romance, she enjoys nothing more than a sexy hero paired with a sassy heroine, flavored with a dash of spice and lots of heat. A wife and mother of three, she enjoys reading (of course), cooking, sewing … and other activities that aren’t appropriate for inclusion in a biography.