by C. A. Rene
We enter in through the front door and there’s still a lingering smell of sour milk but much better than it was before.
“Mm!” Ember exclaims as she claps her hands, “Pine-Sol with a pinch of sour milk… appetizing.”
I snort and shake my head at her, “I’m heading out to deal with slime.”
“Gross, I’ll come watch.” She says with her nose crinkled.
I pull out a lawn chair for her to sit as I set up the pumps to drain the pool. This process takes about a half hour, so I head inside and pull some beers out of the still slightly smelling fridge. I bring them out and hand one to E.
“Are you still on pain meds?” I ask, my eyes wide as I watch her gulp down half the beer.
“Yep.” She nods and licks her lips.
“Is that a good idea?”
“Who fucking cares?” She shrugs, “Drake said YOLO.”
“You did not just do that…”
“Drake is from Toronto, right?” She grins and she drains the bottle. “I’ll take another.”
“Ember… that’s a bad…”
“YOLO!” She screams, cutting me off.
I head back inside and grab her another beer. This is her last one, even if she threatens me with that big ass knife she always has on her. We do have to hit up the police station after this, so keeping a limit on our alcohol intake would be smart.
About fifteen minutes later, the shallow end is completely drained and Ember is grumbling from her spot on the lawn chair.
“I can’t believe you cut me off. I just want to live.” She groans as she throws her arm over her face. “The green slime in this pool reminds me of Vin’s smoothies.” She gags.
“Gross.” I chuckle.
I look out to the deep end and try to judge how much longer this is going to take, when I see something bobbing just under the surface. I can’t really tell what it is because of the dark green goo surrounding it. I get up from the chair and walk around the pool to the deep end.
Ember comes up beside me and we both watch as the water slowly drops. The water parts around a round hairy object and I think it might be a raccoon or a fox, because we get those around here. But why wasn’t it floating?
“Oh fuck,” E grabs my arm and pulls me back. “Travis look at me.”
“What?” I look at her with my brow raised, “some animal…”
“No,” she shakes her head and drags me by the arm into the house.
“E.” I yank on her hold once we get inside the kitchen, “what’s wrong with you?”
She pulls out her phone and calls Vin on speakerphone.
“Hey baby.” He picks up.
“Get everyone and come to Travis’.”
“Why?” He begins to sound worried and frankly so am I. Is Ember afraid of animals? I turn to go back out to the pool, but she pulls me back.
“Now Vin!” She hangs up and pushes me into a chair.
“Ember!” I yell at her, “what the hell?”
“Listen to me.” She says quietly, “there’s something in that pool.”
“I know!” I exclaim, “it’s just an animal. Relax! I’ll grab it out!”
“No,” she shakes her head and a tear rolls down her cheek. Okay, so maybe she loves wildlife?
“E,” I say gently as I wipe the tear, “I will go remove it and I don’t know, we can bury it or something.”
“Travis, that’s not an animal.” She shakes her head.
“What?” I try to stand up and she places a hand on my shoulder.
“I think we found Sonja.”
I understand her words but it’s just not commuting in my brain right. Sonja? I turn my head slowly and look out towards the pool. Maybe she’s mistaken, there’s no way it could be Sonja. She wasn’t a good swimmer though, could she have fallen in?
“Let’s give the pool a few more minutes to drain...”
I don’t let her finish and I push myself out of the chair and walk around her. I need to go see, if it is her, it should be me that finds her. I’m the one that caused this to happen anyways. If I hadn’t left her here, she’d be fine. I throw open the patio door, hearing E’s screams behind me and not giving a fuck. It’s my duty as her son to make sure it’s her.
The smell is the first thing that hits me. It’s a bit like the green slime smell but now I can detect the underlying stench of decay. I reach the edge and look over just as E makes it to my side and grabs my arm. It’s a body, I can see it clearly now that the water has moved down more. The blonde hair coated in green slime is matted, but the body is face down and I can’t see any distinguishable features. I’m not stupid, Sonja has blonde hair and she’s been missing for weeks. Only she’s not really missing, she’s been here all along.
The water continues to drain and with it revealing a large kitchen knife protruding from the neck of the body. She was murdered, she didn’t fall in here. She was put in here. I fall to my knees at the edge of the pool and I feel my healing heart break all over again. The bitch I thought was my mother, murdered Sonja in cold blood. She was hateful and took it out on the one person who stuck it through to help her, even though she helped Sonja be raped and mistreated by my father. No, that’s wrong, Sonja stayed here for me. Endured the pain and mistreatment for me, and I abandoned her, too.
I see her white maid’s outfit now stained in green and what looks to be one of my father’s belts around her waist. Why the fuck is one of his belts on her? Then it slowly clicks in, she’s attached to the eighty pound weight belonging to the umbrella we were looking for before. It’s the only thing heavy enough to keep her down. How the fuck did that bitch I called Mother manage this? And where was Sonja stabbed? I look around the yard but there’s no evidence of blood anywhere. Honestly though, why would there be? It’s been weeks and has rained many times. What evidence there was is surely washed away.
I stand up and shrug E’s arms off me. She’s been quiet and respectful but I can’t be around anyone right now. Especially since the whole gang will be here any minute. I head back inside the house, through the kitchen and up the stairs. I stop at my parents room and look inside from the doorway. It’s eerie seeing it unoccupied and free of screaming and crying. I grew up petrified of this room and I remember how I used to run by it to get to mine, hoping no one heard me. I step inside just as I hear the front door open and all their voices calling out. I close the door slowly behind me and shut out the sounds. I don’t want to talk to anyone right now.
I walk into the bathroom and as always my eyes lock on the door. I wish I could remember every detail of her hanging from there, but I can’t. She deserved so much worse, just like my father and just like Coach. They all got the easy way out, free of the prolonged torture they deserved. I open the cabinet on the wall and find all my mother’s different pills. Uppers, downers, Oxy, and all sorts of sleeping aids. I grab my father’s shaving bag off the vanity and dump the contents on the floor. I begin to fill it back up with all the pill bottles in the cabinet. After that, I take one final look back and let my feet take me out of the house and to my car.
I just need to get away for a bit.
28
I hear the beep of a car unlocking, then an open and shut of it’s door, “do you hear that?” I ask everyone.
“Just let him go,” Vin says. “This is a fucking shitshow.”
“I called Moore,” Ember says, coming back out from the kitchen. “Did Travis leave?”
“I’m going to go after him,” I move by Vin who grabs my arm.
“I’ll call him in a bit. He needs time to digest.” He nods at me.
That’s when I hear more cars pull up and I get swept up into the torrent of cops and coroners. I remember Sonja, she was a beautiful woman but what they pulled out of that swimming pool was bloated and indistinguishable. Something that was distinguishable? The large kitchen knife sticking out of her throat with the Greene insignia on it. Did Robert’s arrogance know no bounds? Did
he have to see his name on every fucking thing? I’m happy I never met the man.
I watched as they covered the body and the cops said they were confident to be able to get prints from the knife. Ember relayed the story to them about Travis’ mom being off the rails and more than capable of killing and dumping Sonja before taking her own life. The chief listened intently and reiterated that the prints would determine everything.
Two hours later, we all pile into Vin’s Hummer and he sets off back home. I need to speak with Travis. He’s probably feeling so alone and I didn’t have to be stuck at his house for two hours but the cops weren’t letting us leave because we found the body. Travis is needed for questioning as well. When we get home, his car isn’t in the driveway. My stomach sours with worry and I immediately call his cell phone. It rings through to voicemail and I leave him a message telling him to come home.
Ten minutes later, we are all in the family room trying to figure out where he would’ve gone.
“I’m going to check the park I took him to once.” Vin stands and heads for the front door.
“I’ll come with you.” Ari calls out and hurries behind him.
The front door shuts and I resume my frantic pacing. My heart is crashing against my ribcage and I just can’t stop thinking that he might have hurt himself.
“You care about him?” Ember asks quietly from her seat on the couch.
I stop pacing and look over at her, her eyes are clear and she also has worry etched on her face.
“Yeah.” I nod, “of course I do.”
“Like more than a friend.” She states.
I scratch my fingers into my hair and tug on the ends, “it’s complicated.” I growl and resume pacing.
Then it hits me, where was the one place Travis always looked uncomfortable? Probably downright hated because of what happened to him there. The place he was forced to endure for years afterward.
“I know where he is.” I tell Ember and rush to grab my keys from beside the door.
“Wait!” She yells as she runs to keep up with me. “We’ll take Shelby!”
Her car is a beast on the road so I don’t argue, I jump over the window to land in the passenger seat. If there’s one thing I can count on Ember for it’s that she’s always crazy, no matter what she’s doing, and that includes her driving. So, I tell her where to go and grab on to anything with both hands as we fly down the streets.
The parking is empty save for the cobalt blue Civic parked across three spots. Ember barely has the car in park before I jump out and run to the doors. Of course they’re locked, it’s well past the end of day.
“Around here.” Ember points down the side of the building. “It takes you to the field. I can’t run with you, it hurts. Go get him, I’ll be close behind.”
I take off in a full sprint and see as the baseball diamond comes into view. But I know he’s not sitting out here, this isn’t his main source of pain, this field relieved some of it. I rush to the locker room doors and pull them open.
“Trav!” I call out and hear no response, “Travis! Answer me!”
I run down the aisle of lockers but he’s not here. Please God, I chant over and over in my head, just praying to find him. I stop my running, bent over trying to catch my breath when I hear the sound of water hitting tiles. I follow it and come to a line of showers. The one at the far end is on and I run as fast as I can to it.
I get to the end cubicle and what I see has me screaming and rushing in. Travis is laying across the tiled floor, the water spraying out and onto his legs. His face is white-too white-and tinged with blue. I rush to get to him and slip on the water, my head hits against the tile wall and I know it’s cut open. I don’t think of that as I grab his shoulders and pull him up. His skin is cold and my fingers keep slipping along his neck when I try to find a pulse. I pull him up more and hear something drop from his hand. I look down and see an orange pill bottle.
“Emmett!” I hear Ember, “where are you?”
“Over here!” I scream, “oh God! He took pills… Ember hurry!”
“Where is he?” I hear Vin and he comes up behind me. “Move Emmett, let me get to him.”
I move out of the way and Vin lays Travis on his side then sticks two fingers down his throat. I stand up and turn off the water and slowly back up. Nothing is happening, Vin does it a few more times and curses as he hoists Travis up and over his shoulder.
“We need to get to the hospital.” He begins to rush to the front of the locker room.
Ember and Adri are standing there and both gasp as they see Vin rush by them and out the door. I run close behind, we put Travis in the backseat of the Hummer and rush to the hospital. I know Ember will get Adri there.
“What did he take?” Vin asks as he runs his second red light.
I lift the empty bottle that I somehow have in my hand and read the label. “Vicodin. It was prescribed to his mother.”
“Shit!” Vin hits the wheel and we skid tires as he turns into the emergency.
After that, it’s a mess of nurses and doctors. I watch as they rush him away compressing his chest. Vin and I stand there long after they disappear, just staring down the empty corridor.
A few hours later, a doctor comes into our waiting area and sits beside Vin. I don’t like the look he has on his face and my stomach is tied so tight with knots.
“Travis has had a severe opioid overdose, we attempted a Naloxone treatment but…”
His voice fades and I rest my head back against the wall, letting my eyes shut. Adri’s and Ember’s cries are dim in the background and I vaguely hear Vin cursing.
Why Travis? Why did you decide to leave me?
29
There's always worse…
30
They say if it rains during a funeral, the spirit is at peace. Well I say, fuck that. I know for a fact anyone would rather be alive than dead and if there are such things as spirits, why the fuck would they be at peace with death? Especially if they are young and have so much more life ahead of them. A life that would’ve been filled with love-so much fucking love-and family. I know there’s no fucking peace here and there never will be.
The rain pounds down on top of my head and I refuse the offer of Adri’s umbrella. It’s late autumn and the rain is so fucking cold it’ll probably be snowing soon, but I don’t care if I catch a flu, at least I’m alive. The mud sucks around my polished dress shoes as we make our way to the Mausoleum. Our family crypt is filling up quickly and I clench my hands to my sides in anger. Why do good people die young? Why would any deity deem it right to take away the ones filled with light and good intentions while letting the festering rot of evil stay here? I know that I will never get that answer.
We had a small service and when it came time for the sealing of the crypt, we decided to let it be just the four of us. We spoke about it and thought that’s what he would’ve wanted, just us, his close family. That’s all we’ve been doing, discussing, and thinking-what he would want. I can’t do it anymore, I’m still too fucking angry with him. How dare he put me in this position? To think and do what I think he would want. He should be here to just say it!
I don’t function much anymore, school has been a no go and I’ve neglected Adri so much, I wouldn’t be surprised if she has moved on. Not that I would know since I barely talk to her. Ember is trying to stay strong and keep us together but I can see it starting to wear heavy on her soul. She doesn’t sleep and when she does eat, it’s not very much.
Vin is an empty shell. He gets by day to day but his eyes look vacant and lost. Not too long after the incident, he admitted that he knew about Travis and me. I felt relieved and immediately angry, I wanted us to be able to tell everyone, we were meant to do that together. So fuck it, I told them all myself. I told them about our plans, how I fell in love with him and Adri both and that we somehow wanted it to work, with the three of us. I even told Carm who was mostly silent but in the end told me to do
whatever it was to be happy.
Adri wasn’t shocked, she said she could see what was between us and that she was so happy to be loved by not just one-but two men. Ember was a bit skeptical about it ever working but conceded that she caught Travis and I kissing that one night. She was just worried we were denying ourselves and hurting Adri in the process. It’s fucking ironic that the one thing we were scared about revealing was the easiest thing. Not that it makes a difference.
I also told Adri about the abuse Travis endured, I did it because I wanted her to fully understand why he did what he did. How much he held deep inside and how he felt unloved from the start. I told her about Sonja and his father, I told her about Ember killing his worthless mother and then I told her that Travis loved her but it wasn't enough because he felt like he wasn't enough. I told her about my plan and how I wanted all three of us to be together, completely. After that, I distanced myself. I couldn't stand to look at her because all I saw was him.
“He would’ve liked this.” Ember murmurs into the cavernous crypt.
“Oh yeah?” I turn to her, finally having enough. “Would he? And how do you know that? Do you have a direct link with him or something? Can you pass on a fucking message? Tell him I said ‘fuck you! Fuck you Travis for everything!’” I turn around and head for the entrance.
“Wait!” Ember calls out, “I’ll take you home.”
“No,” I say, “I want to be alone.”
“In the rain?” Adri exclaims.
“Yeah. I’ll meet you at home.” I leave them behind me.
If they want to stay in there with the dead, then so be it.
I somehow ended up here, at the baseball field. The rain is now a torrential downpour and my suit and hair are plastered to me like a second skin. I’m shaking from the cold air and my teeth have been chattering for a while, but I just couldn’t stop until I got here.