by C. A. Rene
I start climbing the bleachers and sit dead center, the best possible spot to watch someone play on this field. Then, I let it out. Everything that’s been held inside for the past ten days. I cry for the little boy that looked up to these bleachers every game and failed to see anyone who loved him. I cry for the boy who needed this team so badly he endured abuse to have it, I cry for the child that lost his innocence because he craved any form of affection and lastly I cry for the teenager who pushed through all that and more to find something worth living for. I cry for him the most because he just never found it in the end, he was so broken inside and even knowing he finally had a family wasn’t enough to make him want to stay here.
I cry for Adri who lost her lifelong love, I cry for Vin who lost the chance to really experience having a brother, I cry for Ember who just keeps losing people around her and then I cry for me. I cry for me because I wasn’t capable of making him stay, I wasn’t the anchor that kept his soul perched here. In the end he just wanted to fly.
My phone begins vibrating in my pocket and I just don’t want to hear Ember asking where I am, so I ignore it. I’m alive right? That’s really all that matters right? I feel bad but I can’t deal with any of them right now, I can’t deal with the fierce love and need to protect. I want to feel this anguish and the internal ripping pain.
The phone keeps buzzing incessantly and I pull it out of my pocket. It’s a miracle it still works with all the rain. Vin’s name flashes a few more times then disappears. My home screen tells me I have thirty-six missed calls. Really? Are they that worried? I’m not offing myself, I just want to be alone. They will just have to deal. I tuck the phone back into my pocket as it starts up buzzing again.
Whatever.
I bow my head and lean forward, my elbows on my knees. Maybe coming here to this fucked up town was a bad choice. Carm was right, I should be there and training to become head of security. If I had stayed there, I wouldn’t be feeling this shit. I wouldn’t be feeling so goddamned lost. I could always come back and visit Ember, I would never cut her out of my life. Trent was right, we are each other’s balance.
“Emmett.” I hear my name softly intertwined with the drops of rain hitting the metal bleachers. My tears fall harder as I realize I may hear his voice everywhere now. My mind might fucking be twisted forever.
“Emmett, you fucking asshole!” What the fuck?
I look up and see Vin standing at the bottom of the bleachers. His grown out curls on the top of his head are wet and the leather jacket he’s wearing is covered in rivulets of rain.
“Get the fuck down here!” He screams, “we need to get to the hospital!”
I run down the hospital corridor, my dress shoes slipping from how thoroughly soaked they are. Please God, Please. I can’t take another disappointment. I see Ember standing in the corridor and she turns when she hears my frantic steps.
“Hurry up!” She glowers at me, “I’m fucking knocking you out later for worrying me.” She smacks me hard on the back of the head as I run by her and skid into the hospital room.
Sharla is standing by the window with tears running down her cheeks and she’s hugging a sobbing Adri. They don’t keep my attention long as my gaze swings to the bed and the figure laying there.
“Hey stranger.” He croaks and grins at me.
I rush to his bedside and pull him up into my arms, his scent enveloping me and the warmth of his body combating the chill in mine.
“Ten days, you’ve been gone for ten days!” I sob into his neck while his hands rub my back.
“I’m so sorry,” he hiccups, “everything was dark and I couldn’t focus on the things that brought me light.”
I grab his face into my hands and look into his crystal green eyes, “I love you, Travis Greene.”
31
I woke up to Sharla’s voice telling me about the funeral they were having for Sonja today. I don’t know if Vin told her that Sonja was my mother or not but she spoke like she knew the woman was important to me. She told me how she wanted to be there but decided to come here to me instead. She wanted to speak to me and try to convince me to come back to her son who needed me terribly. I heard it all as my consciousness tunneled towards the rasp of her voice and back to the light. I was happy to hear my family decided to put my mother in our mausoleum and that they cared enough to send her off with love.
When I opened my eyes and looked into hers, she nearly fell over. I don’t remember much after that, it was a rotating circle of nurses, doctors, and vital checks. I was told I was out for ten days and they were worried that I might have never come back. But I did and I will always be thankful for Sharla and her voice.
Not too long after that, it was Ember and Adri hovering over me. Adri’s face and the love in her eyes helped soak warmth through my broken heart. A piece of the puzzle that made up my light, locked into place with her embrace. I was just waiting for one more, the hardest piece to attain and seemed to still be the most difficult.
“Travis, why?” Adri asks as tears flow down her face.
“I just lost myself in the dark.” I mutter, unable to explain it anymore than that.
“I’ve been there,” Ember reaches out to touch my face, “I’m sorry we didn’t see it.”
“I didn’t let you.” I shake my head.
Adri goes to stand with Sharla at the window and I watch as she cries, hating that I brought her to that. Ember picks up her ringing phone and barks out Vin’s name as she moves outside my hospital door.
Then I hear his footsteps, I know they’re his because he’s so deep inside me. I know everything about him, his scent, how he sounds, the energy surrounding him and the way my love coats him like a blanket. He’s so ingrained inside me that I don’t know where I end and where he begins. My heart pounds and I hear the machines I’m hooked up to start to beep frantically. I keep my eye on the door, anticipating the moment I see him.
He doesn’t disappoint as he skids into the room, he is wearing a suit-with a tie-and his hair is a mess and plastered to his head. He’s completely soaked, like he ran through the rain to get here.
“Hey stranger.” I say to him. Did he run through the rain? I open my mouth to ask him but he’s quick as he wraps me up in his arms. He’s freezing cold and the skin on his cheeks feel like ice.
“Ten days, you’ve been gone for ten days!” He cries into my neck. He’s crying.
“I’m so sorry,” I say, “everything was dark and I couldn’t focus on the things that brought me light.”
His cold hands come up and press into my cheeks, his beautiful eyes looking into mine, “I love you, Travis Greene.”
I don’t think, I just say what I’ve known for a long time, “I love you, Emmett Torres.”
We go back to hugging each other and I hear a small sniff to my left. I look and Adri is standing there watching us with a small smile on her face. It fully hits me what just happened and I’m not sure how to tell Adri. Emmett must feel the difference in my hold because he looks up and at her. Then to my shock he opens his arm out and she comes down to snuggle into us both.
“I love you guys.” She says through her tears.
“I told her,” Emmett says into my confused face, “everything.”
I look to Adri and watch as the smile widens on her face, “can we really just start our lives together now? All three of us?”
“I love you.” I tell her feeling tears run down my cheeks.
“I know.” She says smugly and curls back into me.
Everything clicks into place. All the pieces that were scattered before are now solid.
“Bro?”
Both Emmett and Adri stand up and part and I see a very tired and very sad Vin. His eyes are boring into mine and I can feel the sadness radiating off of him.
“Are you okay?” I ask him.
“No, I haven’t been okay.” He shakes his head, “but I am better now.”
I don’t get a ch
ance to continue to speak to him because my doctor comes in with a stern look on his face.
“Travis Greene, coma patient due to an overdose of Vicodin.” He looks up from the paper in his hands. “We were almost ready to prepare for your funeral.”
“Are you fucking serious?!” Ember exclaims as she rushes at the doctor, “you watch your motherfucking mouth!” Vin grabs her before she can touch the doctor but she’s definitely put the fear of God into him.
He clears his throat, “you will have to be placed in a mandatory thirty-day program.” His eyes slide to Ember as she glares at him from the circle of Vin’s arms. “You have been placed on suicide watch and we can’t release you before those thirty days are up.”
“Like fuck you wont!” Ember screams.
“Wait,” I hold my hand up, “I want to stay and participate in the program.”
“I’ll go prepare a room in that ward.” The doctor leaves in a hurry, giving a wide berth around Ember.
“Travis,” Ember breaks away easily from Vin, just proving she let him stop her. “We can take care of you at home. We miss you. We love you.”
“I know, I’m sorry I did this to you guys, but my problems are deep and I need help to heal. I can’t do it by myself and I need professional help.” I smile as she comes over and crawls up in the bed beside me.
“I missed you.” She begins to cry. It’s rare that Ember cries and it’s breaking my heart that I did this to them. I’m ashamed that I tried to take the easy way out. I should have fought my demons and continued to want to live.
I pull her in against my chest and kiss the top of her head, “I need to be better for my family and for my… relationship.”
“Your throuple.” She mutters.
“My what?” I ask.
“Throuple. A three person couple.”
So, it looks like Emmett told everyone. I’m not mad, if anything I’m relieved it’s out. I begin to laugh and she looks up at me through wet lashes and laughs with me.
“Thanks for putting Sonja in the family’s crypt.”
“She was family, it’s where she belonged.” Her answer is simple and straight from her heart, just like everything Ember ever says or does.
32
9 Months Later…
“Is his speech long? Because it’s as hot as a cougar looking for a good time out here.” Emmett groans from his seat beside me.
“Just be happy you managed to graduate, Shit for Brains, and listen to your boyfriend’s Valedictorian speech.” I growl at him, I’m always a hair’s breadth away from smacking him.
“It’s long, by the way.” Adri whispers between our heads from the row behind us.
“Ugh…” Emmett whines and drops lower in his seat. I’m gonna smack her, too.
“Drink this and shut the fuck up.” Vin grits out from between his teeth and slaps a flask to Emmett’s chest.
Yeah, the graduation ceremony is supposed to be seated alphabetically but we pretty much do as we please without much resistance. So, we decided to all sit together. Now I regret that decision as I watch my twin slugging back on what I know is potent whiskey. Fucking Vin.
This speech really is fucking long though, and the fucking heat is messing with the curls I tamed earlier. As Travis drones on about being successful in life and all that jazz, I lean forward and snatch the flask from Vin. We decided to put Emmett between us because he’s like an unruly child sometimes.
Carm should be here somewhere with Trent, and Travis has a cousin that came from Ukraine to watch him graduate. Emmett, Adri, and Travis took a trip about six months ago to find his family in Ukraine. He found out his grandmother had passed but he gained a couple Aunts and Uncles and a whole slew of cousins. Once the results of the autopsy for Sonja came back, it was determined she was indeed murdered by Christina. Not only did the knife have Christina's prints, her blood was also under Sonja's nails. Travis felt he needed to find his family and confess everything. His new path in life is to live lighter and not hold everything inside.
“Did he have a fucking Red Bull for breakfast?” Vin mutters as Travis’ speech carries on.
“No more Red Bull in the house.” I retort and take a swig out of the flask.
“Ha!” Emmett slaps his knee, “you fuckers feel my pain now.”
“Give me some of that.” Adri snakes her hand between us motioning for the flask.
Emmett grabs onto it before I can give her the flask and kisses her palm. They’re cute, I’ll admit. She smiles and it grows wider as she finally gets the flask.
Adri has permanently moved in with us and we are all finally together under one roof. It feels right and exactly how it’s supposed to be. Funny thing? Her parents haven’t even checked in with her in almost a year. Not that she cares, but I do. They’ve been added to my list of people to look into. Something feels off more than them buying a baby from Talia.
People begin to clap and whistle and the four of us look at each other and stand in unison to clap and cheer for Travis. Not that we heard much but we love him anyways.
“He really thought of that much to say about the degenerates in this school?” Vin grumbles and Emmett chokes on his mouthful of whiskey.
“I hope he doesn’t ask us about it later.” Adri whines.
I snort and push past Vin and Emmett to meet up with Travis in the center of the field. He looks handsome in his robe and the Valedictorian stole hanging over his shoulders.
“Great speech.” I call out when he sees me.
“Fuck off,” he chuckles as we all gather around him. “You guys didn’t listen to shit.”
“But judging by everyone else’s faces, it was fucking bomb.” Emmett nods like the fucking asshole he is.
“Guys!” Charles runs up and we each pull him in for a hug. “Everyone’s gathering at General Grady’s tonight, you in?”
“Fucking right we are.” Emmett says as he wraps his arm around Travis’ neck. “Husbands! Lock up your wives!” He begins to gyrate his hips.
“Fuck, you two are too similar.” Adri says to me while shaking her head, “sometimes it’s like I’m fucking you.”
“Bet you like that, huh?” I wink at her.
“Tonight is going to be so dope.” Charles fist pumps the air and runs back off to fuck knows where.
“I’m going to go see Katerina and drive her to the airport.” Travis chuckles as he kisses both Emmett and Adri, “I’ll see you at home.”
At first, their relationship was a hot topic but eventually everyone just accepted it and moved on. I may have pushed that consensus on a lot of the people but whatever, it worked.
“My twin little demons have graduated high school.” Carm’s deep tenor cuts through the noise. “Whatever will they do with their lives now, Trent?”
“Oh I don’t know, cause destruction and mayhem?” Trent laughs.
“That’s all Ember,” Emmett retorts. “With my grades, I’m going to the stars!”
“He means give tarot card readings and tell people about their zodiacs.” I deadpan.
Everyone laughs except Emmett and I. He narrows his eyes on me and steps into my space. “Say that again, little sister.”
“You don’t know that you’re older.” I retort.
“Say it again.” He grits out.
“You have shit for brains and barely graduated by the skin of your teeth. The only stars you’ll see are the ones forming constellations when you give star readings.”
He bends down with a growl and throws me over his shoulder. I scream and slap his ass at the same time he slaps mine.
“Emmett! Put me down!” I scream.
“No! Not until you tell me I can be an astronaut!”
“Fine!” I laugh, “you’re a space cadet!”
Everyone starts laughing harder and Emmett begins to twirl us quickly on the spot. My hair flies out and I close my eyes to keep the nausea at bay.
“I’ll just make you puke!�
�� He says with a laugh as he spins.
He finally stops and we both tumble to the ground, “ugh! Now I want to puke, too.” He groans.
“See? Shit for brains.” I laugh and kiss his cheek.
“Alright kids,” Carm chuckles. “We gotta get going, we have somewhere to be tomorrow morning.”
We give both Trent and he hugs and watch their very large retreating backs.
“You think those two…?” I trail off.
“Nah,” Emmett laughs, “they are manwhores.”
“You question every set of dudes you see now.” Adri laughs.
“I’m still forming my gaydar.” I say as I tap my temple.
“We should get going too.” Vin says coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist. “We got to get something done.”
Right, we do. We say our goodbyes and promise to be home in time to hit the bar. Vin takes my hand and interlaces our fingers. His large hand encompassing mine always feels like I’m protected and loved. Adri asked me a few weeks ago how Vin and I manage not to fight, because we both have strong alpha attitudes and clashing personalities. From the outside we don’t even act compatible. He’s quiet, broody, and intense, I’m loud, opinionated, and downright crass. But we never butt heads, we move in sync, and our energies mesh perfectly. I didn’t have an answer for her because I don’t fucking know. What I do know is, I love him, every single thing about him, good, bad, perfect, and imperfect. I love every single thing.
Vin let’s me breathe, he doesn’t mind sitting on the sidelines and letting me run the show, he gets off on the power I exude and he comes back looking for more. I love his quiet strength and knowing it would take next to nothing for him to pop off on anyone who even looked at me wrong. But why don’t we fight? I don’t know, maybe it’s all of these things and maybe it has nothing to do with it.
Adri and Travis bicker, a lot. It’s their thing and Emmett sits back and watches. He’s a creep about it sometimes but whatever works for them.