Living in Your Hell

by Barb Shuler

  I moved to scoop Shelby up and she cried out. I could feel wetness and I’ll be honest, I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what it was or where it came from. I could hear Stella cursing behind us as I carried her to the large exam room.

  “Stella Grace,” Gabe said, grabbing her good arm.

  “Get off me, dammit. I’m fucking peachy. I’m not leaving here until I know good and damn well that Shelby and those babies are okay!” Stella snarled. The room went quiet.

  “Babies?” Drew raised a brow and I sighed.

  “Everyone, out,” I said as I pulled a sheet from under the cabinet.

  “Yes, get out,” Stella growled and slammed the door. I grimaced as she all but fell into the table.

  “Stel, sit your ass down,” Shelby said. “You're bleeding again.”

  “I'm okay, just need the room to stop spinning.”

  The door burst open. I growled and Shelby shrieked.

  “Dammit!”

  “Sorry, sorry,” Dani Lynn said as she came in with Jayna, aka, Mama Jay.

  “What happened here?” Jayna asked as she looked both Shelby and Stella over before moving to the sink to wash her hands. She and Dani Lynn were snapping on gloves when Shelby let out a shriek of pain.

  “Son of a three legged whore!” Shelby panted out. Stella had one of Shelby’s hands, and I held the other as panic set in. I was helpless. I had no fucking clue what to do here.

  “Help her, please,” I said. Jayna patted my arm and moved closer.

  “Shelby Rae, you stop with that racket. I'm gonna strip your pants and drawers off now so I can see what I'm working with.”

  “Care-ful,” Shelby stuttered out. “I think I broke some ribs,” she said in a low voice. She was gritting her teeth as Mama Jay and Dani Lynn shifted her.

  “Oh My God.” At Stella’s gasp Dani Lynn shifted slightly and I saw her pain.

  “Um, Shelby, sweetheart, you've been shot… that's not broken ribs.” As her top was lifted I saw the mark going up her side. I ground my teeth together.

  “There is also glass in your tush, darling girl…” Jayna said, but was cut off by Shelby’s laughter. The laughter soon turned to tears.

  “Hey, listen to me. You're fine. These babies are fine,” Stella told her, her face a mask of calm. I knew better.

  “I need Papa,” Shelby begged. I sighed, again. I really needed to stop that. I shifted to put my face in hers, making sure she was looking at me before I spoke

  “Baby, he's not here. Something happened earlier, and he’s on his way to the hospital. He's okay, just a little banged up.”

  Shelby let out a war cry and tried to push me back. It took all of us to hold her in place. The exam room door came open, both Alana and Anna rushed in. Riley, the EMT that had seen to Doc earlier, was right behind them.

  “Shelby Rae, you stop that. Don’t make me tell you again,” Jayna snapped. Shelby crumpled back against the table and sobbed. I leaned down, put my arm under her neck and kissed her cheeks.

  “He's okay, baby,” I said, looking up at Riley.

  “Shelby, Doc G’s gonna be fine. He had some bruises and a few cuts. Abe and I just got back from the hospital. Dr. Crosse was with him when we left,” Riley told her.

  “See, baby, he's okay. Let's focus on our babies,” I said, placing a soft kiss on her lips.

  “Riley, there's a suture kit on the middle shelf, grab it. She's got a GSW to the left side and hip. No bullet, it’s just a graze, but it's bad enough on that hip to need stitches,” Dani Lynn said.

  “Got it.”

  “Lanabear,” Jayna started. “Get some help, I'm gonna need hot water, clean towels and check that hall closet for an insulated blanket to wrap them in.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Lana said and moved out of the room quickly.

  Thirty minutes later we had a bouncing baby boy lying on a table so Anna could get him cleaned up. Riley was now helping with checking vitals and we were waiting on Baby B, our little surprise baby. He or she was coming, but something wasn't going as planned.

  “The baby is breach,” Jayna said. Shelby gasped as Jayna did something.

  “What in the hell are you doing?” I snapped.

  “Watch your tone, boy. You ain't too big for me to swat ya one,” Jayna glared then went back to what she was doing. Shelby clutched at my hands.

  “She's turning her or, at least, she’s trying too,” Shelby’s head fell back as Jayna nodded.

  “Push, girly, the baby should come out right now,” Jayna said, Dani Lynn had a clean towel ready.

  We waited, and waited and finally, when there was no feeling left in my hand, and my knuckles were blue Shelby let out a cry of pain. She slumped back onto the table, breathing hard. There was a smack of flesh on flesh, like with Baby A, and then a cry rang out through the room.

  “It's a girl,” Dani Lynn said, grinning as she moved to the table where Baby A had been. He was now laying across Shelby’s chest. Tears rolled from the corners of my eyes, and I didn't care. Our babies were here and healthy.

  That is where the happy moment crashed again. Stella stood up, and that was as far as she got. She crashed to the floor like a ten ton pack of sugar.

  Riley was yelling for her partner, who was in the house somewhere. Trace barreled in and the shit hit the fan again. Stella roused enough to tell them to fuck off before she was carried to the waiting gurney.

  “Guess we go last,” Shelby said, sleepily. I leaned down and kissed her lips and then both of our children. Even our bad day had a happy ending.

  23

  Turning A Page

  Shelby

  Nooooo, No geds me...” Kaitlyn giggled as she ran around our backyard, both Lana and Ryan chasing after her.

  “I geds you!” Ryan giggled as she tried to catch up to Kaitlyn, whose legs were longer than hers. The worm in her little hand dangled with each step.

  I couldn’t help but laugh at their antics. What did three and almost four year old girls do ‘round here? They chase each other with bugs, worms and muddy hands. It’s quite entertaining. After everything that has happened over the last few months we can use all of that and more.

  The events of late were a wake up call, and a reality check I didn’t want, need and could do well to forget it all… but it did teach me a few things. One - my friends and family, are the best. Without each and every one of these crazy people, I would not have survived the craziness my father brought into my life.

  “Thirsty?” I looked up from my chair as Kristol came out, a small tray in her hands. I smiled and nodded.

  “Thanks. Did Stella get lost in there?” I asked, laughing when I heard her grumble something.

  “Stuff it. This damn sling has to go. Can’t I take it off?” she whined.

  “Stella Grace, sit. You act worse than the three year olds. Doc said another two weeks. If you would stop using the damn arm when you’re not supposed to it would heal.” I glared.

  “I got shot, and I’m the one being punished,” she moped.

  “You get to be waited on hand and foot by Trace, so shut up. You know you love it,” Kristol teased.

  I snorted when her face turned a shade of red. Bingo! Crazy woman was just being a brat.

  “Y’all suck. I need Anna here, she’d be on my side…” Stella grumbled.

  “No, she wouldn’t!” Kristol laughed.

  “Where is Anna?” I asked.

  “She was taking the baby to Lufkin to have his check up. It’s been three weeks since he had that hernia surgery. He’s doing great though.”

  “I hated missing his birth, but we were still in the bed rest stage of post-delivery,” I replied. It had been an easy pregnancy for Anna, but after the baby was born, which was only a few days after I’d given birth to Henry, they discovered he had an umbilical hernia. The stress of the delivery had cause his breathing to drop so he had to spend time in the NICU. She had been three weeks past her due date and was as pissed as a wet cat when she went into the hospital, t
hen they told her the baby was having trouble and she completely flipped out. Once she had baby Matthew in her arms, and was able to see him, hold him and love on him, they said she calmed down and everything had been rainbows and kittens again.

  I shuddered at the memories of the day my kids were born. It’s already a month ago now. That was the day my father showed up and tried to mow both Stella and me down with gunfire, after he beat the stew out of Papa. That was the day my precious angels, Hunter Grant and Mykayla Grace were born. The naming hadn’t taken us too long to decide on. We both wanted family names. Hunter is named for his daddy and his grandpa, as Hunter is both Robert and Charlie’s middle names. His middle name, Grant, obviously is for Papa. Mykayla Grace is named after my Nana, and her Godmother, Stella, as Grace is Stel’s middle name.

  I sat up quickly when Kaitlyn tumbled over the brick edge to the fire pit. Thank God it was empty at the moment. Stella put her good hand on my shoulder. “She’s fine,” she said, but I noticed she and Kris were both ready to run out there if need be. A moment later, Lana had Kaitlyn up on her feet and was brushing her off. “See,” Stella said.

  “Dude,” Kristol said, with a laugh. “I think these kids are going to give us all grey hairs. I’m too young for that.”

  “Pfft. If you don’t lock your knees at night you’re gonna have a whole herd,” Stella spoke with a laugh. Kristol threw a chocolate chip cookie at her and I laughed.

  “You make it sound like that is all we do!”

  Stella raised a brow and I looked between the two of them. “So you’re not….”

  “What am I missing?” I asked.

  Kristol’s face flushed, her cheeks were a rosy red now. I gave her a look. “Um…”

  “I fucking knew it!” Stella boomed. Lana looked over to us and I swatted Stella’s leg, hard.

  “Watch your mouth, woman,” I hissed.

  “Uh, sorry,” Stella said her grin pointed towards Kristol.

  “Kris?” I questioned.

  “Stella, how did you know? No one knows...” she hissed, her voice lowering to where I had to strain to hear her next words, “not even Jacks…”

  “Holy hell,” I gasped. “Kristol, are you sure?” I asked, sitting up. “I mean, are you sure, sure… I thought-” I trailed off and bit my bottom lip. Her last miscarriage was no one's business. I knew she told Jacks, cause he was there with her for the appointment. That had been about six months ago. I reached over and gave her hand a squeeze.

  Kristol sat still, her face up to the sun that beamed down on us. It was a few minutes before she spoke again. “I’m five to six weeks along. The specialist, Doctor Harmon, in Lufkin has been really good, like you said she would be. I wanted to come to you, but-”

  “Hey, no don’t do that. It’s fine. Catie is an awesome OBGYN, and she specializes in high risk cases. Don’t you dare feel bad about going to her,” I said, meaning every word.

  “It’s weird, ya know?” Kristol said.

  “I know but you and your baby need her. That’s what is important.”

  “So, wait, you have to go to a specialist and you thought Shelby would be mad? You…” Stella cracked up as Kristol threw another cookie at her. She caught it and took a big bite of it.

  “Jacks wants twins.. I may go nuts. I already have a five year old, three year old, and a one year old. Ugh.”

  “I told ya, lock those knees woman,” Stella laughed out as she spoke.

  “You suck. Remind me why we are friends?” Kristol joked.

  “Because you love me heifer,” Stella said.

  “Enough, you two. You’re worse than the kids,” I grumped but grinned when they scoffed. The girls were back to playing so I relaxed and closed my eyes, my hat covering my eyes from the sun.

  Two Days Later

  We were all outside at Gabe’s, relaxing against the chairs as the fire burned in the pit, bellies full of some freaking great barbecued chicken, sausage and the most delicious brisket this side of the Mason Dixon Line. The twins, Ryan, Kaitlyn, Gabby, Joey and Matthew were all spread out on living room floor inside, crashed out. The twins, and the babies were always sleeping, so that wasn’t new, but both Kaitlyn and Ryan had worn themselves out playing with the older kids. Tyler, Taylor, Robbie and Elijah were dragging, but they refused to let sleep win. But hey, it’s not like they had to sleep now. They might sleep even better tonight.

  I had been pushed back against Charlie’s chest when Tyler came running up to the fire pit, squealing.

  “Gramps! Looks! Looks! I finded a..a puppy!! I keep him!!!!”

  “You what?” Gabe asked as he got up and looked at what she had in her hand. “Where did you find this puppy, Tyler. Tell me now, please.”

  “In…” she ducked her head as she spoke.

  “Tyler Katherine, you answer Gramps, now,” Dani Lynn said in her ‘don’t you play with me, kid’ voice.

  “In the um.. The little house thing out there,” she said, pointing to the field.

  “Why were you out there?” Gabe asked. We were all watching him.

  “Us playing hide and seeds,” she said, pouting.

  “Hide and seek?” Gabe questioned but didn’t give her time to answer. “Come show me, please.”

  “Okays,” she said and took off running back across the yard. After a few minutes Gabe let out a loud, ear piercing whistle. The boys jumped up, with us girls following them. When we stopped in front of the building in the field I was surprised.

  “Holy crap, how many are there?” Derek asked. He swooped in and gently held his hand out as he approached the entryway.

  “Careful, D,” Drew warned.

  “I got this, old man,” Derek grinned.

  “Are they newly born? Is she still in labor? Dogs like to have their babies in dark places, where it’s quiet. She looks so skinny,” I said, as I observed her.

  Derek ripped off one of his t-shirts and I watched as he caught a puppy coming out. He vigorously rubbed the birthing fluids and sack from the pup before laying it up by the mom’s nose.

  “There are twelve puppies, unless she has more insi- thirteen….”

  “I keeps him!” I heard Tyler shriek when Gabe moved to put the puppy back with it’s mama. Drew picked her up and walked out of hearing range. She sniffled and when he came back with her she was laying against his chest, softly crying. Poor bubba.

  “This your dog, Gabe?” Charlie asked.

  “Nope-” Gabe started but Derek cut him off.

  “She is now.”

  “Daddy, she doesn’t have a collar. We can’t just abandon her, or the babies,” Dani Lynn said. I saw Drew and Gabe share a look.

  “Well, has she got anymore in there?” Gabe asked.

  I moved around and knelt slowly beside her. My fingers ran along her side. “Hey, pretty lady, it’s okay, just let me feel your tummy, okay?” I spoke softly to her as I tried to see if I could feel anything. Thor came up, nosing her and whining. He laid down in front of her and woofed.

  “I hear ya, boy. Okay, there doesn’t seem to be anymore in there. We need to get her someplace warm, and get her something soft to eat. She needs to feed these babies, too,” I said, nodding.

  “Come on, Jacks, help me move her. Grab that crate over there, put Derek’s shirt in the bottom and carefully load up the pups. I’ll carry her to the yard,” Charlie said. We let them get the babies and mama up to the main house.

  “Now what?” Jacks asked. Everyone looked around at each other.

  “Let me take them home,” Lana said as she turned to her daddy. Robert’s eyes softened and he nodded.

  “We can take her and the puppies. I’ll call the vet in the morning to have them all looked over,” he said.

  “Oh, Daddy, thank you! Thank you!!” Lana hugged his neck and Charlie chuckled as he moved to where his dad was parked.

  “You got a blanket in the trunk, Pops?”

  “Yeah, hold on,” Robert said, moving around to the trunk. It opened and a minute later he came
back around with a big comforter. I raised a brow.

  “It’s for the picnic lunches at the park with Robbie and the girls.”

  “Ah, good, good,” I said, laughing.

  As soon as the dog and her babies were in the back of Robert’s car he sighed. “Peanut, you know what you’re getting into with this?” he said, nodding towards the dog and pups.

  “Yes, Daddy. I do,” she said with a twinkle in her eye. “Puppies for everybody!” Lana said, clapping her hands together. I heard a few groans and laughed. Yes, me, I laughed. I shook my head and moved to hug Lana tight.

  “That, my girl, is a wonderful idea!” I said, giving the group a grin.

  “I actually agree,” Jacks said, hip bumping Kristol. She beamed up at him and nodded.

  “Dude, shut that,” Drew grumped. “We have enough daily craziness… and you want me to add a dog to that?” His eyes had widened slightly as he spoke. Jacks just smirked at him.

  “Aww, is the princess too tired for another baby?” Jacks’s eyes twinkled with mischief.

  “Children-” My words were cut off by crying and a little voice screaming “mommy”. Of course, we all moved to the back of the house, Kaitlyn stood there, clutching her elephant on the now dark porch. Charlie moved up the stairs and scooped her up.

  “Hey, hey, what’s the matter, lil’ bit?”

  “Da-daddy…” she hiccupped and made a face. “Wyan falled.” Kristol was up the stairs right ahead of me. We found Ryan on the floor, sniffling but not really crying. She was clutching her rabbit. Kristol picked her up and sat on the couch with her.

  “Her-her falled on dat?” Kaitlyn said, pointing to the wadded up blanket on the floor.

  “She fell over her blanket?” I asked, moving to check her over just in case. Kaitlyn nodded and sniffled again. “Her otays? Her-her not bwokes?” I chuckled slightly.

  “No Princess, she’s not broke. She’s just scared,” Kristol said, kissing Ryan on her head. The moment the little girl saw her daddy her arms went out and Jacks scooped her up. He placed kisses all over her face.