by Nalini Singh
Page 23
“DO YOU SEE your parents often?” he asked almost two hours later, unable to resist the urge to solve the mystery of her.
A pregnant pause filled only with the sound of the wind rustling through the trees. “Not as much as I should. ”
Reading the tension in the line of her spine, he knew she wanted him to drop it, but regardless of all else, he’d never been a man who took orders when he didn’t want to take them. “Odd for a wolf. ”
No response as they walked through the spring green meadow. Just when he was beginning to believe she’d simply ignore the question, she said, “I was in a relationship. It made my parents unhappy. ” Plain words that told him nothing.
“Did they make you choose?”
“No, but we ended up arguing about it every time I went to see Mom and Dad. ” She blew out a breath. “Tarah, Indigo, neither of them approved, but they let me be for the most part. ”
Riaz wondered what the hell had been wrong with the male Adria had chosen that her entire family hadn’t liked the guy. However, the shuttered expression on her face told him the discussion was over; he could push, but this time, he decided for patience. Dominant female wolves didn’t react well to pressure beyond a certain point.
As she walked ahead a few steps, his eyes lingered on the soft skin exposed at her nape, beneath the silken rope of her braid. The golden warmth of it glowed in the harsh mountain sunlight, and he wanted only to push that braid aside and run his fingers over the spot.
Adria jerked out and to the side, her hair brushing the back of his hand.
And he realized his fingers had done exactly as he’d imagined. “Shit, I’m sorry. ”
Brilliant blue-violet eyes streaked with precious gold watched him with too much knowledge. “You need to do something about your hunger, Riaz. ”
The idea of being with any woman but Lisette made his entire body revolt, but even then, the scent of Adria, the remembered feel of her, it was a drug, an addiction that gripped him in powerful teeth and shook. “Can you get back on your own?” The words were harsh, his wolf too close to the surface.
Adria gave a simple, “Yes,” before turning and walking away from him a second time, a tall, strong woman with hair as dark as onyx and a pride that he knew would never again allow her to invite him into her bed.
ADRIA bent over with a shudder, hands on her knees, after Riaz disappeared in the opposite direction. Her body felt as if it wanted to burst out of her skin, torn by a chaos of competing needs and desires. When Riaz had touched her, she’d almost melted into the rough heat of his fingers in spite of her every vow to the contrary, her body already conditioned to expect primal pleasure.
Inhaling another shaky breath, she took a detour on her way down to the den, following an overgrown path that, if memory served her right, led to a small hidden waterfall. She’d found it as a young girl, and it had become her secret place, where she came to think over important decisions, or to indulge in frustration and temper.
A smile tugged her lips. God, she’d been such a serious, temperamental child. As she’d grown, that wildness of emotion had matured into a quiet intensity of passion, restrained and tempered.
“You’re magnificent and I can’t wait to learn all of you. ” Words Martin had spoken to her during their first year as a couple.
Her smile faded, into a sadness so deep, it lodged in her chest, a heavy lump. Even the sight of “her” waterfall, small and secretive and effervescent, didn’t lift her spirits. Her mind was with the woman she’d been, so very ready to start what she’d thought would be the next phase of her life, with a man she’d believed would walk beside her as they both changed and grew. And for the first time since she’d made the decision to end their broken relationship, her anger was washed away by grief.
The Martin she’d known hadn’t been the standoffish man he so often was with strangers, a man secretly uncomfortable in social situations. He’d been so sweet in private, with a wicked sense of humor and a way of looking at her as if she were the most alluring woman in the world. Not only that, but he’d celebrated her achievements as she’d celebrated his.
She’d taken him to dinner in a posh restaurant when he was awarded his doctorate, and stranger to the kitchen though he had been, he’d once put on an apron and baked her a cake when she’d completed a particularly grueling training course. It had collapsed in the middle and been uncooked around the sides and it had been wonderful. They’d giggled and gotten drunk on cheap pink champagne, eating so much cake that they’d solemnly sworn, “Never, ever again. ”
That was what she’d tried to save for so long, unable and unwilling to believe that something so innocent and bright could sour into such hostility. She’d thought if she tried hard enough, she’d be able to fix it. It was how her brain worked—even as a child who had found martial arts didn’t suit her blunt style of movement, but who knew the skill would come in useful as a soldier, she’d just gritted her teeth and practiced over and over until her body moved with flawless grace.
Only after she’d been broken on the ruins of their relationship had she understood that no matter how hard she tried, it wouldn’t have mattered. Because somewhere along the way, a poison had infiltrated their relationship. Quiet and stealthy, it had eaten into the fabric of emotion that bound them until that fabric was threadbare … and her wolf had withdrawn totally from the relationship.
Martin had known. It had only deepened his resentment.
Moisture on her cheek, a trail leading down to her mouth. Salt. It was the taste of the first tear she’d shed since shutting the door in Martin’s face over a year ago, knowing she’d never again open it. So fragile, the single iridescent droplet nonetheless shattered her defenses. Dropping to her knees, she allowed the sorrow to pour out of her, her shoulders shaking with the force of her sobs.
RIAZ caught Adria’s scent as he ran, and snarled, frustrated that her phantom presence continued to haunt him. When it grew stronger instead of fading, he realized she hadn’t returned to the vehicle but had instead continued on foot. He would’ve carried on, except that he caught the barest whisper of a sound that made his wolf snap to attention. Frowning, he moved close enough to ensure that she wasn’t in trouble … and heard the raw, painful sound of a woman whose heart was breaking.
His chest knotted, protective instincts roaring to the surface, but he didn’t approach. Adria was a proud, strong woman, wouldn’t appreciate anyone finding her at such a vulnerable moment, her defenses shattered. But even as he told himself to leave, the ragged sound of her tears ripped him apart.
She jerked up her head the instant he came into view, her face ravaged by tears. “Go!”
Wanting to hunt down whatever had so devastated her, but aware it wasn’t a physical foe he could defeat, he went down on his haunches and took her into his arms. She began to struggle, all sharp elbows and tightly fisted hands. “Let me help, damn you. ” It wasn’t the smoothest or most charming of things to say, but it came from the gut and the heart, his voice rough with the wolf’s frustration at being unable to do anything.
Another heartrending sob, and then she was melted wax in his arms, as if she couldn’t deal with the agonizing depth of her pain and hold him off at the same time. Cuddling her as close as he could, his knees spread to tuck her in between, he cupped the back of her head with one hand, wrapped an arm around her waist … and simply held her as she cried.
He’d seen strong women cry before, but never like this. Until it felt as if she were being torn apart from the inside out. Hand clenched in her hair, tangling in her braid, he pressed his cheek to the inky black and let her fingernails dig into his back as she wrapped her arms around him in a fierce embrace.
A minute, a lifetime, later, those hands turned into fists again and she punched at him. The blows had no impact because of her position, but the agony in them was excruciating. His wolf raged at its helplessness, but even
then, it pressed against Riaz’s skin, wanting to soothe, to reassure. But all they could do was hold her, the scent of crushed berries in ice drowning in salt.
The wind was quiet, the sun lower in the sky when she went silent, lying against him in a way that said all the fight had been taken out of her. He’d known her a fragment of time, but he hated seeing her so defeated. Adria was pride and spirit and strength. Not a woman who gave up. “Did you lose someone?” Death was the only thing he could think of to explain the depth of her despair.
“It’s been long dead. ” Rasped out words. “I just wasn’t ready to mourn until now. ”
He rubbed his cheek against her hair, one wolf attempting to comfort another. “Do you feel better?”
“I feel like I got run over. ” And that quickly, she was Adria again.
Shoving away and to her feet, she walked to the pool at the bottom of a tiny waterfall he could just make out, cupping her hands in the cold water and using it to splash her face. At any other time, with any other woman, he would’ve waited, but he could tell from the stiff curve of her spine that she hated the fact he’d seen her like this, so he turned and walked away.
His wolf snarled but didn’t resist. Because it, too, understood that Adria was no helpless maiden in distress. Riaz had seen her fight beside him with unwavering courage, witnessed her steely-eyed determination as she crawled into the line of fire to drag an injured packmate out of the danger zone, trusted her to watch his back when the enemy threatened to surround them.
A woman like that would not want any man—much less one with whom she had only the most fragile of cease-fires—to see her defenseless and fractured by grief. He wondered if this would create another barrier between them, as she sought to distance herself from the memory. The idea pricked at his insides, a sharp, unexpected discomfort.
ALICE
FROM: Sascha
TO: Lara
CC: Tammy;
Ashaya;
Amara
DATE: Sep 3, 2081 at 11. 14 a. m.
SUBJECT: Patient A
Lara—I spoke to Tammy and Ashaya, got the latest update on our patient. Though my last attempt didn’t work, I’ve been going through my book (yes, again), and reading between the lines, it seems I have a distinct empathic skill that may help our patient.
I can’t prove it, as there’s no way to test the theory except on someone in her condition, but if you don’t think it’ll interfere with anything else we’re attempting, I’d like to try it.
FROM: Ashaya
TO: Sascha
CC: Tammy;
Lara;
Amara
DATE: Sep 3, 2081 at 11. 17 a. m.
SUBJECT: re: Patient A
As you all know, earlier today, Lara injected Patient A with a chemical agent Amara and I suggested. It may lead to a rise in the patient’s level of consciousness. I think it’s reasonable to assume that will only make her more receptive to Sascha’s empathy. I can’t see any harm in it, in any case. Amara agrees.
FROM: Lara
TO: Sascha
CC: Tammy;
Ashaya;
Amara
DATE: Sep 3, 2081 at 11. 58 a. m.
SUBJECT: re: re: Patient A
I’m open to anything that might help her. Sascha—I’ll give you a call and we’ll arrange a time for you to drive up. It might be better to wait till we can see if Ashaya and Amara’s formula is having any effect.
One of the senior techs has been in this week and recalibrated the equipment we’re using to monitor the patient, so we’ll see even the slightest blip of consciousness.
FROM: Tammy
TO: Lara
DATE: Sep 3, 2081 at 2. 02 p. m.
SUBJECT: Life
I didn’t get a chance to talk to you about this while I was at the den, but I hope you’re not letting this situation with Patient A consume you, Lara. I know how hard it is not to get emotionally invested—most of the time pack healers have no choice—but we both know that’s not healthy, especially with this patient, given her prognosis.
I’m worried about you. Call me.
FROM: Lara
TO: Tammy
DATE: Sep 3, 2081 at 3. 15 p. m.
SUBJECT: re: Life
I just tried to call, but your phone went to voice mail. I think you must be at the boys’ hockey practice. (Lord, how adorable do they look in those miniature uniforms?! I don’t know how you bear it. )
I’m okay, really. Walker and the kids keep me grounded, and Walker’s so protective, he literally carries me out of the infirmary if I’m being stubborn about resting. I’m not joking—he threw me over his shoulder the other night! Said I’d already gotten my warning.
I have to admit I might have snarled (okay, yes, I did), but I figure that’s healthy when my rational Psy mate suddenly turns into a caveman. And here I thought I’d have it easier than all of you mated to dominant changelings. Shows what I know.
Lara
p. s. The snarling didn’t last long. I have no willpower when he goes all strong, silent, and possessive. Just call me Woman of Goo.
FROM: Tammy
TO: Lara
DATE: Sep 3, 2081 at 3. 27 p. m.
SUBJECT: re: re: Life
You are so crazy for your Psy, I can see the silly smile on your face right now. :-)
Nate mentioned to me the other day how he and Walker agree completely when it comes to “taking care of” their healers, even if we’re “totally unreasonable” about it, and—when I got over the urge to smack him—I decided to kiss him instead. We lucked out, babe.
Apparently they’re bonding. Nate dropped by the practice to see the boys, and I’ve been informed we’re all having dinner tomorrow night. I’m not sure if we should be scared about this development, but I can’t wait to see you so we can talk properly.
Here’s hoping Patient A responds to Sascha’s attempt.
Tammy
p. s. Attaching photos of my gorgeous little troublemakers from their game this weekend. Jules only got sent to the penalty box once, and Rome actually stayed in the game rather than coming off in solidarity. I’m happy to say that tightly knit as they are, they’re also turning into fierce little independent men.
Chapter 24
HAWKE LOOKED AT the document BlackSea had sent through a few minutes ago and tapped Riaz for a consult, since the lieutenant had had multiple face-to-face contacts with members of the unusual “pack” while he’d been in Europe. He caught Riaz on his way down from the higher elevations, had to wait forty-five minutes for him to arrive.
“Had lunch?” he asked when the other man walked into his office. It was half past three, but he hadn’t had a chance to eat.
Riaz sprawled into the chair in front of Hawke’s desk. “No, but I won’t fade away. ”
“I might. ” Putting through a call to the main kitchen, he asked one of the kids on after-school kitchen duty to bring over two plates. “Pasta okay with you?”
At Riaz’s nod, he added in a request for dessert and grinned at the pert response of the head cook, Aisha, when the juvenile on the phone conveyed the request. Hanging up, he handed Riaz a copy of the BlackSea docs. “What do you think about this?”
Unlike most changeling groups, BlackSea wasn’t composed of one particular species of changeling, but was a conglomerate of all water-based changelings. Several worked on Alaris, the deep-sea station located in the Pacific Ocean, not far from the Mariana Trench, though the station personnel were by no means solely changeling.
A large number of BlackSea’s people had normal occupations—in cities located by the sea or near large bodies of fresh water, depending on their individual species. There weren’t, however, any water-based changelings in the greater Bay Area, or along the California coastline. Given SnowDancer and DarkRiver’s heavy dominance in the region, BlackSea’s people had given it a wide berth, not wa
nting to inadvertently cause a territorial skirmish.
Now they wanted not only permission to move freely in the waters in and around the territory, as well as leave to work in the region, but also an alliance with SnowDancer. However, their vision of the alliance process was very different from Hawke’s. Hence the consult. “Wait,” he said when Riaz began to speak. “Let me comm Kenji in since he’s the point person with BlackSea. ”
Toby knocked on the open door right then, using his foot, his hands occupied by a loaded tray. A tug of pride in his gut at the sight of the boy who was now family, Hawke waved him in. “I hear you volunteered to do extra shifts in the kitchen. ” According to Sienna, her baby brother was turning into an excellent cook.
Toby nodded, dark red hair sliding over his forehead as he placed heaping plates of chicken and mushroom fettuccine on Hawke’s desk, followed by a large bowl of salad, big hunks of warm garlic bread, two bottles of water, and two enormous slices of baked cheesecake. Last was the cutlery.
Beaming at having completed the entire operation without spilling anything, Toby leaned the tray carefully against the wall. “Aisha said to call if you need more. ”
“Thanks, Toby. Give Aisha a kiss from us. ” Hawke winked.
Toby left the office with a grin, closing the door behind himself at Hawke’s nod.
“I think she’s trying to fatten us up. ” Riaz groaned as he dug into the fettuccine.
“Sorry, too busy dying of gastronomic bliss to talk. ”
There wasn’t even a crumb left when they finished. Deeply satisfied, Hawke brought Kenji into their discussion via the big comm screen on the wall to the right of his desk.
“To what do I owe this honor?” Kenji asked, putting down a half-eaten burger, the mysterious bruise on his cheek from the night of the mating ceremony no longer in evidence, though his hair remained a sleek purple sans the gold stars.
Riaz held up the document in silent explanation.
Kenji grimaced. “Yeah, what’s that about? I didn’t say anything to their negotiator, but it’s not exactly how we do things. ”
Face-to-face, changeling-to-changeling, that was how SnowDancer began a relationship that had the potential to turn into an alliance.
“BlackSea isn’t usual in any way, shape, or form,” Riaz said, stretching out his legs in front of him after changing position so he could look directly at the screen. “Because they’re scattered worldwide, they’ve had to develop other ways to connect. It doesn’t help that the majority of their membership is secretive and reticent to the extreme. ”
Hawke rubbed his jaw. “Yeah, no one’s ever confirmed if some of the changeling species that are officially part of BlackSea even exist. ” Water-based changelings didn’t advertise their species, and many chose to live on the small floating cities in international waters that had been permitted them under the accord signed after the Territorial Wars.
The cities were open to anyone—if you could find transport to the location: BlackSea had uniformly chosen dangerous stretches of water to anchor its cities, waters a fish alone would be able to navigate. And since they made sure there were no appropriate surfaces on which to land flying craft, the only visitors to their cities were invited ones.