Scarred for Life

by S. L. Kassidy

  "What the fuck is that smell? Did I fall asleep in a tunnel?" Dane wondered, sitting up. Taking in her surroundings, she remembered where she was and what she had been doing. "Shit! The food." Moving faster than she knew she could, she launched herself into the kitchen. "Fuck," she screamed, seeing and smelling the burning meatballs. She heard a car pull into the driveway. "Oh, fuck me," she muttered, certain that her luck was cursed.

  "Danny, I'm home…" Nicole trailed off as smoke greeted her at the door. Her face dropped. "Danny, are you okay?" she called in a panic.

  "I'm fine. Just a little kitchen mishap…" Dane groaned, making a face at the pot that held what were once meatballs.

  "Kitchen mishap?" Nicole marched to the kitchen in time to see Dane empty the contents of the pot. "Not as good a cook as you feigned being, are ya?" she asked with a teasing smile tugging at her lips before going to turn off the smoke alarm.

  "I'm not this bad. Just got a poor attention span is all. I fell asleep while the meatballs were cooking."

  "Oh, Danny, you could've been seriously hurt. That could have started a bad fire," Nicole said, concern edging into her voice.

  Dane ran her hand through her short hair. "Sorry. Just wanted to surprise you with dinner."

  Nicole blinked. Her eyes went wide as they shifted to the stove, taking in the meal prepared just for her. Her bottom lip trembled and her hand covered her mouth. An emotional outburst seemed to be on the way. Nicole threw herself against Dane and hugged her tightly.

  Dane grunted in surprise as Nicole slammed into her. Momentarily, she didn't move or didn't breathe as Nicole held her. Her heart pounded against her ribs and she could've sworn it sounded more clamorous than any heavy metal music she ever heard. After a couple of beats went by, her body relaxed, and warmth surrounded her, engulfed her, and she brought her arms around Nicole.

  "You must think I'm silly," Nicole mumbled into Dane's shoulder.

  "No, I don't. I think you're someone that needs people to do things for you more often," Dane replied, knowing the outburst was because Nicole wasn't accustomed to someone making dinner for her. She wondered how many people had used and abused the wonderful woman in her arms, not knowing what a dear and precious soul they were losing. Idiots.

  ***

  Nicole didn't confirm or deny. She merely accepted that Danny knew her so well in only a few days of being around her. Danny took more effort in comprehending her than any lover she ever had. Danny held her with more strength and tenderness, too. She pushed those thoughts away as she gathered herself enough to look up and into radiant grey eyes.

  "So, what're we going to do about dinner, Aluminum Chef?" Nicole teased. She sighed in relief, happy that Danny hadn't been hurt from that fire. She didn't have very pleasant memories involving fire, as it was a fire that caused her to let Tyler live with her. But that fire might have been a blessing in disguise as it allowed her the opportunity to get a closer look at the type of person Tyler was before she ended up in a longer relationship with him.

  Dane snickered. "Well, I don't think either of us want to eat just spaghetti by itself. I used all of the ground beef for the meatballs."

  "That's okay. We just have to be creative."

  "So, we should mix it with some instant noodles?" Dane proposed with a goofy grin.

  Nicole playfully slapped her on the arm. "No, silly. I think there's some chicken in the fridge. We can use that."

  "Fine." Dane let loose a very dramatic sigh. "I guess if you want a meal with nutritional value that can't kill you with astronomical salt levels."

  Nicole chuckled and released Danny from the hug. They fixed the chicken together and created a meal that was rather delicious. They exchanged tales about what they did with their days; Danny didn't have much to say beyond her misadventure with dinner and Nicole talked about the stack of work she had on her desk. She noted Danny's perplexed expression as she vented about how so much of her time was taken up by helping others in her firm and that half of what was on her desk wasn't even hers.

  "You know what? Don't think about any of that junk. Let's finish eating and then watch one of those corny romantic comedies you like so much."

  "Hey, they're not corny."

  "I object, your honor. One day soon I'll show you what a good movie is."

  The tired attorney nodded her assent. After dinner, Dane shooed Nicole off while she did the dishes. Nicole took a shower and returned to the living room a half-hour later in her pajamas. Danny found a movie for them to watch and Nicole eased onto the couch and relaxed. She purposely left space between her and Danny to respect the younger woman's space, especially after her impulsive embrace in the kitchen. Somehow, her fingers ended up brushing against Dane's hand during the movie. After the movie, Dane turned to a game show. Before long, they were both yelling at the television and alleging the other was cheating. The living room was replete with laughter for hours. Nicole realized she had never relaxed in this manner after work and she really liked it.

  ***

  Nicole sighed as she pulled into her driveway. She rubbed her eyes as she cut the engine with the push of a button. She stepped out of her car and her eyes gazed at the lawn. She saw the ratty old bike that almost killed her that morning and a smile spread across her face without her knowledge. For the first few days of Dane's stay, Nicole had expected the younger woman to bolt while she was off at work. Everyday when she returned home, she was joyous that it didn't happen.

  Nicole entered the house and felt the world lift off her shoulders as soon as she crossed the threshold. There was something about the aura of the house now that helped ease her mind. She glanced to the left immediately, finding the den just as black as it always was. There were no signs of life in the living room, either. She arched an eyebrow, wondering where Dane was. She walked through the house, finding Danny in the library. A thoughtful look appeared in her deep green eyes as her tanned head tilted to the side to absorb what she was seeing.

  Dane was on the hardwood floor, looking much like a very big kid, buried in a thick book. She had her legs crossed underneath her and cleaning products near her thighs. She obviously got sidetracked from her original mission. Nicole couldn't help thinking how cute Dane looked.

  "I hope you haven't been sitting here long." Nicole teased because of the small amount of pages that Dane had gotten through.

  Dane's head shot up to the doorway to see a smiling face greet her. "Didn't hear you come in."

  "I can see you were too distracted by the book." Nicole nodded toward the cleaning supplies.

  A sheepish laugh escaped Dane. "I was cleaning. Sometimes, I get this urge…"

  "To clean?" Nicole understood that one, as she often got hit with the urge, especially when she was frustrated or upset.

  "Not to clean, per se. To do something." Dane shrugged one shoulder. "It started out with cleaning and then when I got here it shifted to reading."

  Nicole nodded, even though her comprehension was gone. She was delighted that Danny found something to do. The first few days when she came back home, she found Dane sleeping on the couch or the living room floor. Today was the first day that Nicole came in to locate Dane somewhere other than the living room. Dane seemed very interested in the book, too, fixing her eyes on the pages and not paying Nicole much mind. It was as if she wasn't even there anymore.

  The attorney twisted her mouth up in curiosity. She went closer to Dane, who continued reading. The redhead leaned down, patting Dane on the shoulder as a greeting and hoped that Dane would put down the book. She wanted Dane to join her for some television watching. Dane didn't react to the touch, as if she didn't even feel it. Nicole swallowed down the lump trying to rise in her throat.

  "Well, I'll leave you to your book, then," Nicole said as a beat of awkward silence built between them.

  Dane didn't reply and Nicole walked away feeling dejected. Dane seemed strangely detached and cold, nothing like the person to whom she was growing accustomed. Briefly, she wondered
if it had something to do with Danny's urge "to do something." She went through her evening rituals, even though one of those rituals now included watching television with Danny and having their trivia contests. Dane didn't come out of the library until a little bit before Nicole planned to make dinner. Dane beat her to that chore.

  "You don't have to keep doing this, you know?" Nicole pointed out as she sat down to eat. If Danny kept cooking, Nicole thought she might have to redefine the manners she learned when growing up.

  ***

  Dane shrugged. "It was something to do." That dreadful urge was finally fading and she didn't need to do anything anymore; she thanked whatever divine being there was for that blessing. Whenever that urge hit, it was like she wasn't in control of her body or her desires.

  "Is everything all right, Danny?" Nicole reached across the table and put her hand on Danny's arm. Her fingers gently caressed the soft skin.

  Dane was about to pull away despite the appealing sensation of those tender fingers and say something when she looked into Nicole's eyes. She mentally sighed and wondered when exactly she started giving a damn about people being sincere. Considering the fact she couldn't recall the last sincere person she actually met, she thought it might have been a weakness all along and she never realized it because it had never come up.

  "I'm fine. I just feel bad about freeloading off of you," Dane lied. Her mood had nothing to do with that. It was the damned urge that was making her somber, but she didn't want to say that because she'd have to explain where the urge came from.

  "It's fine. I'm glad you're here. It is nice to come home to someone." Nicole smiled

  Dane returned the smile and was shocked to find her brain working again. Her mind was disconcerted that someone was happy to come home to her. Since when?

  "So, how was work?" Dane asked, looking to start a proper conversation since Nicole was being so polite to her. Silently, she cursed her brain for the lame attempt, though. She and Nicole were well beyond such unoriginal openings like "how was work."

  The hostess blinked hard and her brow wrinkled slightly. Silence coated the room and Dane thought she might have overstepped some line that she didn't know. Maybe we're not beyond those hackneyed, dull questions, then. It was possible she and Nicole weren't as close as she thought.

  "I mean…um…Dipshit didn't give you any trouble, did he?" the younger woman asked, hoping to salvage her mistake.

  Nicole blinked again. "Oh, no. He didn't give me any trouble. I think he's still in shock over how I left his stuff on the curb because he hasn't looked in my direction lately."

  "That's good. It shows him that you mean business. He'll think about things for a while before he approaches you to take him back. And do yourself a favor by not taking him back."

  "I never make the same mistake twice."

  "Good, because you're too nice. You shouldn't be too nice to Dipshit. He's an asshole. Frankly, I don't see how you can be a corporate shark with how nice you are," Dane rambled.

  "I'm very different when working. Tyler…he's another story."

  "What's his story, anyway? Or your story, I guess. I can't see you with him. How'd that happen?"

  "Usually, I wouldn't be so stupid as to date a coworker, but I just allowed myself to get enthralled by him. It helped that my parents like him. It's a rare day indeed for my parents to like someone that I date. My father played tennis with him a couple of times after he joined the firm and they got along pretty well, so they thought he'd be a good match for me. When I first met him, his smile seemed to light up the room and he was so…gentlemanly. I actually thought he was a nice guy, too, because he agreed to play in a charity tennis match with me. I'm willing to bet Tyler joining was more about showing off and looking good than helping out children like it was supposed to be. He was all right in the beginning, but that went downhill pretty quickly. I used to make excuses for him when he did something over and over that I didn't like. He sent me flowers and chocolates at work even though I told him not to. I know some women like that sort of thing, so I excused it, figuring he was just trying to be romantic. Dates quickly stopped being things we both wanted to do and became things he wanted to do. I somehow started paying for everything. There were just so many issues. I kept telling myself that if I worked with him on our relationship, I could get him to listen to me more and get him out of his bad habits. I should've known something was wrong with him. He's a personal injury attorney," Nicole quipped with a smile.

  The crack earned the desired laugh from Dane. "Is that what he does? My uncle and dad just say he's a lawyer. I guess I understand why my uncle says that now, not wanting to let everyone know that Tyler chases ambulances for a living. My dad's damned proud of him, though."

  "I don't know why. Tyler is an ass...he's so full of himself. I mean, even in the beginning, he had no shame. Back then, I didn't really notice. I did everything for him, but then again, I'm like that in every relationship. I give and give and the person I'm with takes and takes, never giving back…" She sniffled and glanced away, appearing contrite for being used. "One time, I was dating a guy and not only was I doing everything for him, his family started using me for errands and favors, too. And they'd even complain if things weren't done to perfection. I was like a family servant more than a girlfriend."

  "It's not a bad thing to be nice to people," Dane assured her.

  Nicole nodded. "Thanks. It's nice someone thinks so. Still…it's caused me more than my share of misery."

  "I'm sure it has. You've got to deal with dipshits like Tyler, forcing their way into your home and acting like they fucking live here and shit. But, in the end, you obviously have enough and you move on with your life."

  Nicole nodded again. "Yeah, sometimes it takes longer than others. I was dating Tyler for six months. As I said, it didn't start out badly. He had this charisma to him. It didn't take long, but it obviously started falling apart. For a while, I told myself I could get him to start listening again, like when we first started going out. I'm sure he never really had any interest in what I was talking about, but feigned it very well at first. Then he just started pushing his ideas on me, like he was always right and I never was. He wouldn't be the first person I've gone out with that has done that. You know? I think the bastard was stealing from me."

  "Tyler's lower than I thought. What the hell was he stealing?" Dane bet it was something pathetic, like underwear.

  "I think he took some of my CDs and some small amounts of money. I don't know what he was doing with it, maybe laundry money on days he didn't just dump his dirty clothing over here. Maybe gas money. I really don't know. He refuses to admit it."

  "Of course. He's too much of an asshole to admit that he's done something stupid and wrong. He probably thought he was entitled to it since you were his girlfriend. Well, I promise, this'll be one Wolfe that doesn't steal any chickens from your hen house." Dane pointed to herself and let loose a big smile.

  Nicole burst out laughing. "Danny, that was just awful."

  Dane just flashed a dashing grin, surprised at how automatic it came. Adding to her astonishment was that her irritability seemed to be fading away. Her body felt lighter as it basked in the sound of Nicole's lighthearted laughter. As the sound waned, Dane's mood stayed leveled and a small smile remained on her face.

  ***

  "So, Danny, why don't you tell me about the rest of your family? I've heard some things about them, but I don't really know them."

  Dane shrugged. "Whatever you heard was probably true. Honestly, my family doesn't care for me and I'd like to keep it that way mostly."

  Nicole's brow furrowed. "I don't understand that. My family is really close. I just assume that all families are like mine."

  "Not my family. I'd rather not talk about them. How about you tell me about your family? What's a normal family like?"

  Nicole chuckled because there was a childlike glint in Dane's eyes. She explained that often her family, meaning her parents, aunts, uncles, cou
sins, and grandparents gathered on holidays. Some years they missed it, but most of the time they tried to get together. There would always be plenty of talking, friendly gossip, laughing, and smiling. Meals were always huge and everyone always walked away full, euphoric, and with their hands full of leftovers.

  Danny hung onto Nicole's every word, as if she was dishing out the secrets to eternal youth. Part of her was crestfallen, knowing that Dane's attention was born from a lack of a loving family. To avoid feeling like she was rubbing it in, Nicole adroitly switched topics, talking about how a couple of her cousins loved playing video games.

  "Do you like video games, Danny?" the redhead asked, not noticing that she had finished her meal.

  Dane nodded. "Some of them, anyway. I'll play the hell out of a first-person shooter." A blank expression was the response, so she explained. "You know? The games where you can't see the character you play as, but you shoot a bunch of stuff up?"

  "Oh!" It was Nicole's turn to nod. "I don't understand the draw of video games, really."

  Dane explained the fine art of game playing as they ate dessert. When they were done with the meal, Dane did the dishes and Nicole scoured the television for a game show with which they could match wits. Moments after she found one, Dane entered the room and settled onto the sofa. The trivia battle began with playful accusations of cheating, random declarations of winning, and much joyful laughter.

  ***

  "Danny, I'm home." Nicole announced as she stepped in the house. "And I almost killed myself on your bike again."