Scarred for Life

  "Good."

  Dane nodded. More than the fact that she didn't feel like doing drugs anymore, there was the fact that she didn't want to bring trouble to Nicole. She ran her hand through her hair. The last time she bothered caring struck her in that instant and the thought made her knee throb. It wasn't a pleasant memory, but it wasn't holding her back anymore. She stared into the green eyes across from her and told herself that there was no reason to hold back…not that she could help it.

  "Well, I need to get going. My parents ride my ass whenever I'm late," Nicole commented with a smile.

  Dane smiled in return. It was amusing that Nicole worked for her parents at her law firm. Most people tried to get far away from their parents as far as Dane knew, but Nicole stuck close to the couple, following in their footsteps for much of her life. Dane never said anything about it, even though she was forming some opinions.

  Nicole got up from the table and stared at Dane for a long second. The younger woman wasn't sure what was going through Nicole's mind, but she could see a struggle in those bright eyes. She didn't get a chance to contemplate it. Nicole leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on her cheek. Grey eyes shot open and all breathing stopped as far as Dane was concerned.

  "Be good today," Nicole said, and with that she was gone.

  Slate-colored eyes were still wide when the door slammed shut. If someone saw Dane now, the person would assume that she had never been kissed a day in her life. Her hand went to her cheek like a dazed elementary schoolgirl who was pecked by her crush.

  "Nick, what the hell can of worms are you opening?" Dane shook away the thoughts and sensations racing through her, believing that she already had enough to deal with and didn't need something even more complicated to add to that list.

  Ripping herself from the table, Dane washed the dishes. She threw on her street clothes and charged off toward the city. She parked her bike in front of a bank and entered the establishment. As she filled out the slip, she mentally went over a checklist of what she had to do for the day. It was going to be a busy day.

  "Good morning, how can I help you?" an overly cheery teller asked Dane.

  "I'm closing out my account," Dane answered, passing the slip to the teller. She was supposed to have done this days ago, but she had other things on her mind. One quick call to Cam had cleared it up, though. Now, she just wanted to get it out of the way.

  Not too many minutes later, Dane found herself as poor as she looked. There was cash in her pocket, but it was no longer hers. She used to have quite the nest egg. Although she had been a party animal not too long ago, she always understood that she needed to save her money just in case something happened. An abundance of "something" happened to her in the past couple of years, but she still managed to tuck away some money. She rarely spent it before living with Nicole, and since living with Nicole, she took out enough money to buy household things. There would be no more of that.

  She retrieved her bike and made her way to the owner of her money. Most of her funds had gone to pay for all of the controlled substances that found their way to that party she didn't authorize. What she was left with went toward making amends with Nicole and the hope that she'd still have a home by this time next week.

  The final step of her day involved riding to a rundown building that was surrounded by several other dilapidated buildings. She dumped her bicycle down and limped into the building. She had to avoid several large chunks of concrete that used to be steps to the broken down front door. She ducked some yellow "caution" tape, and she ignored quite a few signs that announced the building was condemned.

  "With my luck someone stole it…"

  Dane climbed filthy stairs that complained loudly about her weight. Noises followed her with every step she took. The floor groaned more than the stairs. Dust flew up and fell down around her, trailing her toward the shadows of the back of the room. Mice, roaches, and other occupants scurried out of her way. She stopped at the back wall.

  Moving boards caked with grime that Dane didn't bother to think on, she revealed a dirt-covered poster of some band that she never heard of. She yanked it down and tossed it carelessly behind her. There was a hole in the wall and she put her arm inside, feeling for her treasure. She grabbed a strap and yanked out a black, vinyl case. Quietly she unzipped it to reveal a pristine guitar.

  "Never thought I'd open this again…" Dane attempted to ignore the bubbling sensation building in her stomach working its way up her throat, threatening to spill out. She swallowed everything down, shaking her head at the thought of being choked up over things. She admonished herself for getting sentimental. She reminded herself why she put the guitar away in the first place and that killed every emotion in her instantly. She marched out of the building and back to her bike. She shouldered her case and took off, wincing as she worked her leg.

  What am I doing? Dane wanted to tell herself that she didn't know what she was doing, but she hated lying to herself. Life was becoming complicated, yet she'd stick with it. For the first time in a long time, she could say that she liked her life. "I've never let anything go without a fight."

  ***

  Nicole sat at her desk going through files and thinking about her morning. There was her morning where she kissed Danny on the cheek. She was surprised she wasn't mortified by her actions, even after thinking on it for a long time. It didn't seem like she crossed a line and she felt like Danny could use the affection as Dane seemed to be making herself miserable to help drive home her apology. She decided to try the move again until Danny showed signs of discomfort.

  The thought of kissing Dane's soft cheek swirled around her mind for a moment. It was a very pleasant sensation, kissing Dane. She shook that away, feeling like it was unnecessary to even entertain. She went back to considering the fact that Danny needed to know someone was there for her just because she wanted to be there.

  The reason she made the decision was partly based on what she knew about Danny and the party. The ex-rocker was trying to open up to her girlfriend—well, former girlfriend now—with the hopes that she'd be accepted for the person that she was and not the person that she used to be. It was clear from the way Danny told the story and the way that she semi-moped around the house being shunned wounded Danny.

  With the party in mind, Nicole thought about the things that she lost to her unwanted guests' carelessness in her home. Several items were destroyed in that fiasco; some things that she liked immensely. She had hid her disappointment and hurt, but some of the items couldn't be replaced. Antiques from both sides of her family, gifts from trips abroad, and trinkets with loads of sentimental value were all annihilated by intoxicated invaders.

  Through all of the mess, she came across a surprising item. There was a framed poster from one of her favorite plays that had been signed by the whole cast. Tyler had gotten it for her during one of their earliest dates, knowing that she liked using the posters for decorating. She guessed she missed it when packing up his things. The glass had been broken in the frame, the frame itself was bent, and the poster was torn. Bile rose in her throat and she fleetingly thought how something like that never would've happened with Tyler.

  Nicole quickly shook off that moment of insanity. Tyler might not have had a wild party in her house, but he had disrespected her enough for a lifetime. Tyler had been expunged from her mind as her eyes caught sight of items that deserved more of her attention. A small collection of porcelain horses that her mother had bequeathed to her when she was a child was smashed to bits, much like her other treasures.

  "I hope Mom doesn't come by the house anytime soon. I don't need to hear about all of the things that she bought that are now missing."

  She doubted her mother would be making any rounds by her house anytime soon, but with the way her luck went, she wouldn't be surprised by the misfortune. Her mother and father had been so busy with their own caseloads that they barely had time to interrogate her about her new roommate. Apparently, I do have a guardian angel. />
  Her parents, though busy, checked up on her occasionally. They had allowed her to explain her roommate situation after Tyler attempted to stir up a mess. She wasn't sure how Tyler managed to sneak Danny into any conversation with her parents, but he had and he made sure that Danny sounded like the worst human being possible. Her parents had demanded to know what was going on with her and if Tyler was telling the truth about his horrible cousin.

  Thankfully, her parents were willing to believe her over her former boyfriend, even though they had put up a fight over it. They had argued that Tyler would know his cousin better than Nicole, but Nicole cited several occasions that Danny proved to be the opposite of what Tyler told them. They had also heard about how Danny checked up on her about eating well and things of that nature, and that seemed to be good enough for them for the time being.

  She hoped that held true, but her parents had a long track record for second guessing her. They always thought they knew better. They thought it was just plain strange for Nicole to have a roommate at this point in her life when she could easily pay her own way on everything and she should be looking to settle down with someone…some guy preferably.

  Actually, she knew in another time, her parents probably would've forced her to marry Tyler. Tyler could support her if necessary and keep her secure; even though they were all in agreement that she could do those things herself. Sometimes, she could only wonder what her father and Tyler talked about on the rare moments they were alone together. Whatever it was, she knew Tyler had won her father over. She suspected he had to lie endlessly to do it or he laid it on thick.

  Her mother went along with her father's assessment of Tyler, even though she spent even less time with Tyler. She trusted her husband's judgment. On the rare moments she found herself in Tyler's company outside of the firm, she never seemed to pay much attention to him. Occasionally, she'd study him, but she never said anything against him. Tyler always displayed exemplary behavior around her mother to impress her without going over the top. It worked sporadically. Nicole suspected her mother was willing to accept certain behavior from Tyler because he was a successful male. Her mother honestly believed she should stay with Tyler and build a life with him because he was dedicated and cared for Nicole…as far as her parents knew, anyway.

  I'm sure if they find out about the party, they'll be up in arms. Nicole didn't want to consider what type of noise her parents would make about Danny if they knew about the party. She focused on her work to get her mind off of her parents, which wasn't easy since the two were intimately linked.

  Nicole often got cases that her father didn't want or was attempting to throw clients her way. She never let him down, which only encouraged him to do it more often. Her current work was obtained with her own impeccable reputation, but that didn't stop her father from popping by to say she got that reputation thanks to him.

  She made her way home after work as usual. Dane was fast asleep on the couch with some rock music playing at a decent volume. Nicole left her friend to her nap until she was comfortably in the house.

  "Danny…" Nicole picked up the younger woman's head, making space to sit.

  "Huh?"

  "It's me, Danny. Only me." Nicole caressed thick ebony hair to keep her calm. It worked exceptionally well.

  Dane yawned. "Nick? When the hell did you get in?"

  "Oh, thank you. It's nice to come home from a long day at the office, doing work I hate, to be greeted by a grumbling sleepyhead," Nicole said sarcastically while continuing to rub the musician's head.

  "Sorry." Dane was about to sit up, but a slight pressure on her head kept her reclined. She sighed, settled in, and reveled in the attention if the contented smile on her face meant anything.

  "Don't apologize, silly. I'm just teasing, kid."

  A bronze hand rubbed a grey eye. "I knew that. We watching a movie?"

  "I haven't looked to see if anything’s on. How was your day?"

  "Normal. What about yours?"

  Nicole forced out a smile. "Mine was normal, too. A client called and cursed me out for doing what I was supposed to. Tyler loomed outside my door, hoping that I would have lunch with him, but someone packed me a lunchbox and I didn't have to go out." She paused to allow her fingers to dance through Dane's hair, earning a smile. She loved the way Danny's hair felt; it was much softer than it looked.

  "Sounds par for the course so far. Did your assistant have to leave early today, too?"

  "Does that crap happen that often?" Nicole asked incredulously with an expression to match. She never stopped to think about it, but she guessed it happened often enough for Danny to know about it.

  "Hell, yeah, it does. Bitch calls me Dash when I call, too."

  "I know." The lawyer sighed. "She's better than my last assistant."

  "I bet you get a lot of shitty assistants. So, did she leave early or what?"

  "She did. She finished most of her work, though. Anyway, she left early. I had to stay and help a few coworkers…"

  "Your days are like a repeat of each other where everybody just takes turns bending you over. You gotta stop doing this, Nick. Shit, that’s why you pass out so early when you come in, that is if you don't bring home work with you."

  "It's not so bad. I like helping out. I'm also a little flattered when people ask me for help," Nicole said softly. Her fingers never stopped rubbing Dane's head, loving every second of the touch.

  "So, did you at least get out of the office at a decent hour or is it really like seven right now?"

  "It's six. I stopped coming in past seven over a month ago and you know it." Nicole playfully slapped Dane's shoulder.

  "Yeah, but you still can't stay up past eleven on your best night." Dane shot back.

  "Well, Danny, some of us do have jobs." The lawyer hoped that wasn't going too far. She remembered the last time that she brought up Danny having a job. There was a moment of silence that was too long for Nicole's liking and she was about to apologize, but her friend started talking.

  ***

  "Hey, I do a damn good job sleeping on this couch and it is nine to five. Hell, sometimes I even do overtime." Dane grinned.

  Nicole chuckled. "That you do. You also do a good job at cooking, cleaning, and everything else around the house."

  Like tearing it up. "Speaking of all of that…do you think you could loan me a couple of dollars?" Dane inquired and was stunned to discover it wasn't as arduous as she imagined. She had never requested money from someone whose last name didn't match her own, and she made it a point not to do that often. Usually, when she obtained money from her family, she accepted that she was exploiting them because she didn't intend to pay them back, but she knew why they were giving her money, anyway. They thought it endeared them to her mother, which she didn't understand since it was no secret how her parents felt about her. With Nicole, she felt like she was taking advantage and it made her feel inadequate, not because she was so independent, but because she thought she took so much from her host already.

  "You sounded like that pained you, Danny," Nicole snickered.

  "It was actually surprisingly painless. You're the first person I've ever asked for money. Well, with the intent to pay it back."

  "And you need it to go shopping and buy things that I'll be using, too?"

  "Well, just dinner and some other things."

  "I'll leave money on the coffee table for you. I'm glad you asked."

  Dane smiled, liking the sincerity in Nicole's voice. The veracity made it simple to ask, but also caused a twinge of guilt to surge through her. She still felt like she was imposing on Nicole like the rest of the world did.

  "I'll pay you back."

  "Don't worry about it, Danny. We live here together."

  "And? You do all the work and have to pay for everything? That's not fair. I'll pay you back."

  "You watch a few movies with me that we both know you hate and that'll be payment enough. You know no one's ever spent this much time with me doing th
ings that I want to do."

  "I like spending time with you, so that doesn't count as payback. I will pay you back."

  Nicole let the matter drop. She found a movie. In fact, it was a movie that Dane hated, but she kept that to herself and entertained Nicole. It was a good night for them after some exhausting days.

  ***

  "Danny, could you please just cut it out? You don't have to pay me back," Nicole huffed. She lightly popped Dane in the forehead since Dane's head was on her lap. They were watching television, having another round of competitive trivia when Dane came out of the blue about how she needed to pay Nicole back for things. It was something she had mentioned often over the past few days.

  "You might not think so, but I do. I owe you so much, Chem. You just have no idea," Dane replied, eyes shining with deep appreciation. Nicole never noticed it before, but it made her heart accelerate.

  "I think you're making to little of what you give me in return, Danny, and I don't like you making light of that. So, no more about this paying me back nonsense."

  The attention that Danny paid Nicole made her feel special, which wasn't a feeling many people were capable of doing. Even fewer people attempted to bring out the feeling; Danny did it without really trying. The last time that she felt something close to this was with Tyler, and thinking about it made her feel dirty. With Danny, she could feel it in her bones that the younger woman was earnest about everything between them.

  "Are you going out tonight? You haven't been out for a while."

  Dane shook her head. "I'm fine with being a house-wolf for a while."

  "Danny, you don't have to be afraid to go out just because you had one little slip up with that party. I mean, you had to enjoy going out. You did it often and you had a girlfriend." A minute flare ignited in her from mentioning Dane's former love interest.

  "Yeah, I had a girlfriend. Fuck load of good that did me. I went for the first chick that didn't know who I was and she ends up wanting to be with the old me, anyway. What the hell was I thinking even doing that? What the hell was I thinking in going back to all those clubs and trying to pretend that nothing ever happened?" Dane groaned, trying to run her hand through her hair, but Nicole's hand blocked hers. Instead of putting her hand down, she continued to touch Nicole's fingers. Nicole delighted in the simple action.