Scarred for Life

  "Look, she's not married to me, so you can't say she just abandoned me. I'm fine," The bags under Nicole's eyes and the worry lines marring her face argued otherwise.

  "So, why do you look so tired?" Clara asked.

  Nicole shrugged. "I suppose because I am. I haven't been getting as much sleep as I used to. I've been taking a few things home with me so I can keep up and avoid having weeks like I just did. So, that's probably it."

  "You wouldn't have to do that if you weren't doing your assistant's job, too," Mina pointed out with an angry frown.

  "Well, I left her a memo, letting her go. Now, I have to start the process of looking for another one. Is anyone willing to let me borrow an assistant for a few days?" Nicole asked even though she knew the answer. Intelligent life would be discovered on the sun before anyone that she knew allotted her something that would help her.

  "You should just hire Danny," Mina suggested with a laugh.

  Nicole took a moment to picture Danny working at her firm, complete with her typical style of dress. It fleetingly brought an amused smile to her face before she shook the image away. "Danny has a job that she loves very much, even if being my assistant would be a huge pay raise for her."

  "Not to mention, she's not trained to be the type of assistant you need. And of course, there's the fact that work has ruined more than its fair share of relationships. No need for you and Danny to be on the list of casualties, even if you are just roommates," Clara said.

  "Which we are," Nicole affirmed since her friends seemed to be missing that point. "Of the last five assistants I've had, I'm not sure any of them had been trained. Danny is also very intelligent. She would be able to learn the job, but she's out of the question. I'll figure out what to do." Nicole waved off the subject. She had to figure out something expeditiously before her parents decided to step in and help. That was always a good way to muddle up her life more than necessary.

  "You always do."

  Nicole rolled her eyes; everyone envisioned her as a miracle worker that could turn water to wine. Of course, she didn't mention that during the lunch. She enjoyed the time with her friends and went back to work. Throughout the day, people filtered into her office, requesting her help and wanting her to perform a miracle just for them. The regular occurrence of such things made the workday seem incredibly long and made it difficult for her to get to her own assignments completed.

  At least one person knew she wasn't some supernatural being with the power to do anything, and she was ecstatic to get home to that one person. As soon as she entered the house, her joy peaked and then it was all downhill from there.

  "I'm home," Nicole called.

  "I'm in the kitchen."

  "Of course," Nicole muttered under her breath. If Danny was working on dinner already, it meant she wasn't planning to stick around for the rest of the evening.

  "Go take a shower. Dinner should be ready by the time you get out," Danny spoke loudly to make certain she was heard.

  "Are you going out tonight?" Nicole asked, making her way to the table by the stairs to check the mail. She masked the bitterness that she was feeling from her voice, but it was a good thing that Dane couldn't see the look on her face.

  "Yeah, I told Gloria I'd go with her to the movies. She's accusing me of being boring since I haven't taken her out," Dane reported with a light laugh.

  "Neglecting your girlfriend, huh?" Nicole mumbled. If only. She tried shaking away the burning thoughts and feeling of jealousy. She wanted to be happy for Danny because her housemate found someone that liked her for who she was. Everyone should be so lucky, so stop being so selfish.

  "Hardly. She just doesn't like staying in. So, I'm going to walk down to her place at around eight and go out with her."

  "You want to take the car? I have no problem with loaning it to you. I'm not going anywhere tonight. You don't have to stress your leg and I'm sure you'd get points with Gloria if you pick her up."

  "In your car? Hell yeah, but I'm not too interested in driving."

  "Why? You can, right? Your license isn't expired, is it?" Nicole walked toward the kitchen to speak with her Dane face to face.

  "No, it hasn't. Although I'm sure I'm like one DUI away from it," Dane remarked with a laugh. She smiled at Nicole as she stood in the doorway. Nicole smiled back, doing an exceptional job of appearing normal.

  "Well, I doubt you'll be driving under the influence of anything tonight."

  "I'm fine with walking to her house and letting her drive. I'm actually a little nervous to drive. Sometimes, my foot doesn't respond like I want it to and I'm scared that I might cause an accident or something." The younger woman looked sheepish by that admission.

  "I'm sure you'd be careful."

  "I would, but I'm still scared. It'll be fine, Nick. Now, go get showered and into your jammies. I'll be finished with dinner soon enough."

  Nicole didn't argue. This was their new routine for the past week. She'd come in and find Danny cooking dinner because by nine Danny would be leaving rather than watching a movie with her. And it would be nine if she were lucky, which she wasn't tonight.

  Dane vanished just after eight. Nicole kept herself occupied with work. She stayed up until she heard Dane come in at around one in the morning. Nicole sighed because she knew Dane wouldn't come upstairs to say goodnight, probably assuming she was already asleep. Nicole put her work away and turned out her lights.

  "Goodnight, Danny," Nicole said as she settled into bed.

  ***

  "I'm home," Nicole announced. And does it ever feel good to be home.

  There was no response and Nicole rushed to the living room, thinking Dane might be asleep on the couch. The sofa was empty. She collapsed on the couch with a heavy thud.

  "Guess I won't be telling anyone about my day or hearing about hers…" Nicole murmured. Tears threatened to well up in her eyes, but she managed to keep them at bay.

  She glanced down at the coffee table and saw a note addressed to her. Hey, Chem. I'm out with Gloria. Hopefully, I'll be back before you get in, but if not there's food on the stove. I promise I won't stay out too late.

  Nicole rolled her eyes. She had heard that from Danny lately more times than she wanted. Gloria was always top priority, which she supposed she understood since Gloria was Danny's girlfriend, but it was still bothersome. Nicole missed coming home to Danny, having a home cooked meal, and curling up on the couch with each other. Ever since Gloria came into the picture that all slowly but surely came to an end. Damn Gloria and her Danny-hogging ways.

  "I guess this is what happens when your most fulfilling relationship is with your roommate," Nicole grumbled. "I'm such a loser…" She threw her arm over her eyes and sat there.

  ***

  "Fucking bullshit…" Dane grumbled as she entered the house, kicking off her sneakers. She stormed off toward the kitchen, but paused when she glanced into the living room. Nicole was knocked out with her arm covering her face and still in her suit from work.

  Dane quickly forgot her anger and rushed over to Nicole. She studied the lawyer as best she could and noted that there didn't seem to be anything noticeably wrong. Dane flopped down next to her with a small smile, even though she wasn't pleased with what she was witnessing. The movement woke Nicole.

  "Danny?" Nicole turned to her friend and blinked several times to focus her eyes.

  "Hey. What're you doing sleeping out here in your suit?" Dane shook her head in a disapproving manner.

  Nicole yawned, covering her mouth. "I guess I just nodded off. What time is it?"

  "Just a little after eight. Sorry I'm here so late."

  "Late? I didn't think you'd be back until after midnight. What happened with Gloria?" Nicole asked, unable to bite back some of the contempt in her tone.

  "Me and Gloria had a little disagreement." Dane chuckled and motioned to her shirt. She missed the scorn in her friend's voice.

  "Are you wearing the disagreement?" Nicole inquired with an arched eyebr
ow. Dane's shirt was covered in red wine.

  "I am. She got all upset because I never drink when we go out. Threw the glass in my face. Made me walk back here." The report was made with a sheepish chuckle, but the shock on Nicole's face showed that Nicole didn't see the comedy of the tale. Dane flinched as she realized Nicole would assume the worst about her lame limb. I didn't think this story through.

  "Oh, my god. I can't believe she made you walk home with your leg. Danny, is your leg all right?" Nicole turned her attention to the aforementioned limb.

  "A little sore, but I think it's getting better because I've been using it a lot more. Anyway, I guess we can have dinner and watch a movie tonight. It'll be nice to be with company that'll have the decency to at least hit me with something I do drink." Dane flashed a charming grin.

  "I can't believe anyone would throw something at you." Her eyes were soft and she caressed Dane's cheek. Dane could've sworn she heard a moan escape Nicole.

  Dane had to fight to keep her eyes from fluttering closed. She swallowed down a pleasurable purr of her own and let loose a hearty laugh to cover up what she was feeling at the moment. "You'd be surprised. But, this isn't Gloria's first little temper tantrum and it probably won't be the last. She's out for a good time and a lot of the time we don't agree on what that is. C'mon. I'm starved. I miss just hanging out with you, too."

  Nicole nodded and smiled brightly. Her eyes shone in a way that made Dane's heart flutter. "I've missed hanging out with you, too," she confessed in a shy tone.

  Dane ducked her head, hiding a light blush. Nicole smiled more and then went to take her shower. Dane moved to heat up dinner. The phone rang while Nicole was showering and Dane saw Gloria's number on the caller ID. She shook her head.

  "Not tonight, baby. I'm spending time with my favorite girl," Dane commented with a smile.

  Honestly, Dane missed Nicole more than she let on and would've liked to stay home more often. But, Gloria was demanding. Dane didn't mind because it took her mind off what she felt were inappropriate thoughts regarding Nicole. In the beginning, she thought she could grow to like Gloria, but that was quickly declining. She'd rather be with Nicole than with Gloria, especially right now.

  ***

  Nicole entered the house, not bothering to announce herself. Spending time with Danny was essentially a memory; a precious memory that Nicole held onto. Thinking about their last night together helped her through the day much of the time. It reminded her that in the recent past someone cared about her enough to spend time with her that wasn't business related or in order to use her.

  Her heart constricted as she remembered how things used to be with Danny. She'd treasure those memories and try not to live in the past or mourn the future. Danny was supposed to put Gloria first; that was what a good girlfriend did. Nicole knew she'd do that, so she couldn't fault Danny for doing it, even if Gloria was a heartless bitch. She just wished…

  Her briefcase and keys were dumped on the floor. She didn't bother to go toward the living room and trudged upstairs to take a shower. Once she was changed into her pajamas, she felt some of the tension from the day fade away. She didn't expect the level to completely deplete, but she could lower it. For that, she required cookies and cocoa. So, she headed for the kitchen, but she only made it halfway there.

  Pausing, curious jade-colored eyes took a glimpse into the living room and spied Danny on the couch with her guitar in hand. It was the first time that Nicole saw her housemate with her guitar. Her feet stepped closer without permission from her brain and she saw more than just Danny with her guitar. There was pain in Danny's face. Eyes glared down at the guitar and her left hand, which was wrapped around the neck of the instrument. She strummed the strings, producing a heavenly sound—for thirty seconds.

  "Fuck," Dane growled, flexing her hand. "Stupid fucking useless piece of shit…"

  "Danny…" Nicole put her hand on Dane's shoulder, causing the musician to jump.

  "Nick," Dane said. "I didn't hear you come in…" She looked embarrassed.

  "I didn't know you were here. You play beautifully…"

  Dane glanced away and scowled even harder. "Bullshit. Fucking left hand's a piece of shit. It's actually worse than it used to be. I've been cursing it out more than playing the damn guitar. I used to…I used to be a god with this damn thing. And that's what everybody wants. Everybody wants the god. I just want to play. If I can't play, why the hell even have a left hand? Why have hands at all?" She sighed and shook her head in clear frustration.

  "Gloria wants the god?" Nicole asked softly, siting down on Dane's left side.

  "Yup. Everybody wants the god."

  "How did Gloria even know?"

  "It's not that she knew exactly about who I used to be, but she wasn't the right person for me. She wanted who I looked like, some wild woman or something. She wants a drinking partner and I can't drink anymore. She wants someone to go to clubs with and dance and shit like that. Hell, I never danced even before my leg was fucked up. She wants to go out every night and party hard and I just don't want that anymore. I told her I couldn't be with her, not how she wanted."

  "You broke up?"

  There was a nod followed by a weak shrug. "Didn't want me, so why stay together?"

  "What do you want, Danny?" Nicole asked in a soft, tender voice.

  Dane seemed to lose her concentration briefly as Nicole moved behind her slightly. Grey eyes were wide, watching Nicole and trying to hide the turmoil Danny felt. Danny gulped as Nicole brushed up against her and she opened her mouth to speak, but couldn't. To Nicole, it looked like the lights were on, but no one was home in Danny's mind. Nicole wondered if just her sitting behind Dane was having such a powerful effect on the younger woman.

  Nicole moved Dane's crippled left hand, replacing it with her own. She gently put Dane's left hand over her own. Dane's eyes went wider than they were previously.

  "Wha…what…what're you doing?" Dane's voice was low and shaking. She seemed very close to running. She was barely breathing.

  For a second, Nicole thought Danny was scared, but that wasn't the case. This was her affecting Danny, causing these actions of her body. If Danny were frightened, Nicole considered it might be because Danny thought she'd abandon her position. But that wouldn't happen.

  There was no way that her body was willing to give up the feel of Dane so fully against her. We're supposed to just be friends. But, she could feel something more in Danny now and it made her body hum with delight.

  "No, Danny, I asked what you want," Nicole whispered. She was fighting for control of her own body. She couldn't believe she had been so bold as to move behind her friend and sit like she belonged there. She almost felt like she was taking advantage of Danny. Still, this knowledge didn't move Nicole. She wanted the closeness, craved it, needed it. She needed Danny and now she was rapidly acknowledging how she needed Danny. That kept her in place, even though it also made her want to run away.

  Dane bit her lip as if avoiding a confession. She took a deep breath before daring to speak. "I want to play again," she replied in a low tone.

  "Then let me help," Nicole said, still whispering. "Just guide me, like you would do your students." She settled completely behind Danny; her breasts pressed into the guitarist's back. Nicole's heart raced and she wondered if Danny could feel it pounding against her. Nicole had to fight back tears; not sure why they were coming. Dane's eyes appeared to be glistening, too, and her breathing was quick and shallow.

  Dane nodded as if she was too dumbfounded to trust her voice. She started strumming and pressed lightly against Nicole's fingers to get her to hit the correct strings with enough pressure. It didn't sound perfect, but it lasted more than thirty seconds. The more seconds that ticked by, the better the music became.

  "We play good together, huh?" Nicole smiled and stared into Dane's eyes. Silvery eyes were clouded over; swirling with mixed emotions and Nicole's eyes mirrored the deep look.

  "That we do," Dane concu
rred in a low, thick voice. She stared back, taking in the expression in Nicole's eyes that were locked onto hers. Nicole wondered if her eyes looked as passionate and emotional as Danny's did. Danny then ignited everything inside of Nicole with one simple question. "Nick, what do you want?" she asked in a hushed tone, as if she were scared of running the attorney off.

  "You…" Nicole answered breathlessly before she could stop herself. She leaned forward and captured full lips with her own. The kiss was immediately returned.

  For Nicole, the connection was like electricity flowing between them, but also like a warm, soothing stream passing through them, connecting them mind, body, and soul. Everything in the world seemed to pause, placed on hold just for them. It was like they were allotted an eternity to feel each other. Even an eternity wasn't enough time. When they pulled away, they hardly had a millimeter of space between them.

  Nicole wondered if Dane felt the same things that she felt. The heated, hazy gaze in those gorgeous silver eyes made her think so.

  "I want you too," Dane said just to make sure that was understood. She eased the guitar to the floor and went in for another kiss.

  CHAPTER 13

  "Nick…" Dane said shyly. She and Nicole were settled on the couch after an intense make-out session. It was the first of its kind for the pair and Nicole hoped there would be many more. They cuddled into each other on the sofa, enjoying their closeness and warmth.

  "Yes?" Nicole answered in a semi-sleepy tone. Her head was resting comfortably against Dane's shoulder. She listened to the steady but fast pace of Danny's heart, knowing she was the reason it was racing.

  "What now?"

  "What do you mean?" Nicole tilted her head upward to gaze into Dane's eyes. She felt like she could get lost in the deep smoky orbs.

  "Are we…a couple?" Dane's voice was low and her brow was wrinkled.

  Nicole smiled because Danny sounded so timid asking that question. She doubted that she had ever heard such a tone from the typically confident woman and it was rather endearing. Danny smiled back, but still seeming puzzled.