Smoked

by Slade, Heather

  “Of course, my friend, given I have none.”

  I could envision Rile’s smirk. “For now, she’s out of surgery and her condition is stable. That’s all Hughes needs to know.”

  “Very well. We will speak again soon.”

  I stuffed my phone back in my pocket, wishing I could get my hands on a shot of bourbon before I went back into Siren’s room. With that thought, the door opened and the nurse stepped out.

  “She’s asking for you.”

  2

  Siren

  “Where is Smoke?” I asked when I opened my eyes and felt a cold hand on my wrist.

  “Smoke?” asked the woman who was attaching a blood-pressure cuff to my upper arm.

  “The man who was here earlier.”

  “He stepped out.”

  “Did he say when he was coming back?”

  “Shh.” She glared at me while she pumped the ball, tightening the cuff. “Where in Ireland are you from?” she asked as she released it and typed something into her laptop.

  “Um…” I scrunched my eyebrows. The name of my birthplace was right on the tip of my tongue, as they say, yet I couldn’t recall it. Just like I couldn’t recall much of anything else. I knew my name. And Smoke’s.

  Wait. His name couldn’t just be Smoke. Like I couldn’t recall where I hailed from, I couldn’t remember his full name.

  I rested my head against the pillow and closed my eyes. I opened them again when the woman’s cold fingers rested on my pulse.

  “What is that?” I asked as she inserted a needle in the port of my IV.

  “Your pain medicine.”

  A warm sensation flooded into my arm and up through my chest. Why could I remember things like what an IV was called and even a port, but not the name of the place where I was born or the full name of the man I loved? I tried to fight against falling asleep before he came back, but was overcome by grogginess.

  “Smoke…” I whispered.

  * * *

  When I woke, he was sitting in the chair beside me, studying something on his phone. His brow was furrowed. Did he do that often? Why couldn’t I remember?

  Every time I closed my eyes, I saw one thing. Smoke, holding himself above me as I lay on a blanket on the beach. Somehow, I knew we were on an island. It was nearly dark, but I could see his face, his eyes. I could remember every detail of his lips on mine and everything that followed. It wasn’t just the memory of how our bodies felt, naked as the ocean breeze swept over us. It was more that I could recall every feeling I had from the first kiss until we lay in each other’s arms by the light of the moon and stars. In the face of not remembering anything else, I knew deep in my soul that I loved Smoke and he loved me.

  I opened my eyes a second time and found him studying me instead of his phone.

  “How are you feeling?” he asked.

  “Drugged.”

  He smiled. Or maybe he smirked.

  “What?”

  He leaned forward and rested his arms on his knees. “You aren’t usually quite so…docile.”

  “Docile?” I might’ve shrieked if my throat didn’t hurt so bad.

  He laughed out loud. “There’s the Siren I know.”

  I rested my head against the pillow. “There are so many things I can’t remember. In fact, I remember almost nothing. The nurse asked where I was from in Ireland, and I couldn’t tell her. I know your name is Smoke, but I don’t know if that’s your real name or your last name.”

  “My name is Broderick Torcher, and my code name is Smoke.”

  “Thank you.” I sighed. “Wait. Code name?”

  “I work in the intelligence business. So do you.”

  My head throbbed. “My name is Siobhan.”

  “That’s right.”

  “Gallagher. Siobhan Gallagher.”

  “And your code name is Siren.”

  “Siren,” I whispered. “Smoke and Siren.”

  “Hard to believe, but it was a coincidence. We both had our code names long before the first op we worked together.”

  “How long ago was that?”

  He held up one finger when his phone vibrated. “I need to take this.” He stood and walked out of the room.

  I had so many questions. He said we had our code names before we worked together. Did we work for the same company?

  The door opened, and instead of Smoke, a different nurse came in. I rested my head and closed my eyes when, like the other, she checked my blood pressure. I looked up at her when I felt her hand on my wrist.

  “Wait, is that pain medicine?”

  “It is,” she said without even looking at me.

  I tried to jerk my hand away, but it wouldn’t budge. “Hang on.”

  “What?” she snapped.

  “Another nurse already gave me pain medicine.”

  With the syringe still in hand, she picked up a piece of paper. “You’re due. Once every four hours.”

  “I don’t need it.”

  “Yeah, you do,” said Smoke, coming in the door. “You’re nowhere near ready to be off that stuff.”

  “How do you know?”

  “If you had a mirror to look into, you’d know.”

  “What does that mean?”

  Despite my protests, I felt the warm sensation flow through my arm and into my chest. “Fecking hell,” I groaned. “I don’t want to sleep.”

  The bitch of a nurse scurried out, leaving Smoke smiling at me.

  “What?”

  “You’ll be back to your regular self in no time.”

  If I could lift my arm, I’d have flipped him off, but I couldn’t. Maybe the pain killers they kept shooting into it made it numb. “I wonder if that’s a good thing,” I muttered.

  “You need to get some sleep, and I need to eat. I’ll come back in the morning.”

  “Morning? What time is it now?”

  “Almost midnight.”

  “You get calls on your mobile at midnight?”

  “In our line of work, we get ’em twenty-four seven.”

  “Okay, well, goodnight, then.”

  “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Smoke, wait,” I said when he turned to walk out. “You aren’t going to kiss me goodnight?”

  “Um…sure.” He walked closer, leaned down, and kissed my forehead.

  “You call that a kiss?”

  His face was still close to mine, and he scrunched his eyes. I pursed my lips, and he brushed them with his.

  “Better than nothing, I guess.”

  He stood and turned toward the door. “Yep, back to yourself in no time.”

  3

  Smoke

  “What are you doin’ up this late, old man?”

  “Fuck you, Hammer. you’re older than I am, and it’s midnight.”

  “I’m older than you by a week, asshole. Hey, how’s Siren?”

  “That’s what I’m calling about.”

  “Who.”

  “Siren.”

  “Right. She’s not a that; she’s a who.”

  “Jesus Christ, why did I call you?”

  “Because you wanted to talk about Siren.”

  I looked longingly across the street at the pub that was already closed.

  “Smoke? You there?”

  “Yeah. I’m here. I need a drink.”

  “That bad?”

  “Worse. A lot worse.”

  “Are we gonna play this two-, three-word game all night, or are ya gonna tell me somethin’?”

  “She has amnesia.”

  “You’re kidding.”

  He said it in such a way, I knew he didn’t think I was. The other thing I knew, was that Hammer wouldn’t tell a soul anything I said in this conversation. He was a lawyer. My lawyer. Actually, he was the lawyer for everyone who worked for the Invincibles. Not that what I was about to tell him counted as attorney-client privilege.

  “Smoke?”

  “Yeah, I’m here.” I sat down on a bench outside my hotel. “She doesn’t remem
ber much of anything. Not even where she was born.”

  “But?”

  “Fuck,” I muttered under my breath. “We were both given a job by Rile DeLéon. Asset protection. He teamed us up.”

  “I know about the op, Smoke. What happened?”

  “We were off duty one of the nights that we were on the island—”

  “And?”

  “If you’d shut up for a minute, I’d tell you.” I waited. “Anyway, one thing led to another, and we had…sex.”

  Crickets.

  “Hammer?”

  “I’m here.”

  “That’s what she remembers.”

  When he started to laugh and then kept laughing, I wanted to hurl my phone against the side of a building. “Shut up,” I muttered.

  “You’re shittin’ me?”

  “Go ahead and laugh. Meanwhile, Siren asked me to crawl onto the hospital bed beside her and ‘hold her.’”

  “And she wasn’t playin’ you?”

  “First thing I thought, but she was dead serious.”

  Hammer laughed again.

  “What do I do?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Should I tell her?”

  “Tell her what? That she hates the ground you walk on?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I don’t know, Smoke. What do the doctors say?”

  I told him how hard it had been to get any kind of answer out of the surgeon.

  “I’d wait. Maybe in a day or two, her memory will return.”

  “There’s something else.”

  Hammer was laughing so hard he could barely talk. “Wait. Don’t tell me. She’s pregnant?”

  “You’re an asshole.”

  “Sure am.”

  “She’s also having trouble controlling movement on the left side of her body. If IMI gets wind of this…”

  Hammer stopped laughing. “It’ll mean the end of her career.”

  “Glad you’re finally taking this seriously.”

  “Who knows about this?”

  “Outside of the hospital staff, me. Now you.”

  “You’re where?”

  “Just outside London.”

  “Does she have a handler?” Hammer asked.

  “I’d have to check with Rile on that.”

  “Can she be moved?”

  I shook my head. Not in response to Hammer, just unsure where he was going with that question. “What are you thinking?”

  “Look, I know that you and Siren have had your share of issues, but she’s a brother-in-arms, man. Just like anyone else, we have each other’s backs.”

  “I agree, but what are you suggesting?”

  “Get her the fuck out of the UK as fast as you can.”

  “And take her where?”

  “You’ve got that spread in North Carolina.”

  “Tennessee.”

  “Yeah. Wherever. Take her there.”

  “And do what with her?”

  “Give her time to recover.”

  “What am I? A doctor?”

  “Smoke, you’ve got more money than Midas. Hire someone. You know, a therapist or somethin’.”

  “I don’t do this kind of shit, Hammer.”

  “I’ve known you for a lot of years, my friend, and there’s only one thing I can think of to say in response.”

  I waited, knowing he wouldn’t pull any punches.

  “Maybe it’s time you thought about someone—something—outside the next mission.”

  “Siren and I…we…”

  “Exactly.”

  “Exactly, what? I didn’t say anything.”

  He let out a deep breath that sounded more like a huff. “She was shot on an Invincibles’ op. Let me make some calls to the partners and see who can step up to help her, since it sounds like you won’t.”

  Hammer ended the call.

  * * *

  Rather than sleeping, I walked. I wasn’t paying any attention to where I was going. That wasn’t the point. What I needed to do was blow off steam.

  Hammer was full of shit. I worked. That’s what I did. I didn’t have time for, or interest in, relationships. Not even friendships. I could count the friends I had on one hand. There were probably lots more who considered themselves my friends, but to me, they were just acquaintances. I sure as hell didn’t have time to play nursemaid to Siren.

  I looked up and realized I was back where I started, standing in front of my hotel that was next to the hospital. I went inside and was about to take the elevator up to the surgical floor when I saw the doctor who had performed Siren’s surgery. He looked like he was leaving.

  “Hey, Doc,” I said, standing between him and the exit door. “I have a question about Siobhan Gallagher.”

  He sighed and looked at his watch. “I told you yesterday that we—”

  I held up my hand. “I’ll save you the trouble of repeating yourself. What happens when she’s ready to be discharged? I mean, if she hasn’t regained her memory?”

  “In those instances, it’s usually up to the family. Our experience is that those who go home, if you will, recover far more quickly.”

  “And if they don’t have family?”

  He shrugged. “That isn’t my area of expertise.”

  “What happens?” I pressed.

  “Their recovery can be…difficult. At best.”

  “Thanks.” I stepped aside and let the man go by. After a few minutes, I walked in the same direction he had, but then stopped and turned around as the words I’d said to myself earlier repeated. Siren isn’t someone I can walk away from.

  * * *

  It didn’t take a genius to figure out why people like me went into my line of work. While some had families, the majority didn’t. It was true for Siren and me both. My father had died years ago, and it had been three years since I lost my mother. If I had to guess, I’d say ninety percent of those who worked in intelligence had no family to speak of. What’s more, they were loners. I sure as hell was, and so was Siren.

  Hammer said he’d contact the Invincibles’ partners and see who could step up to the plate to help her, given I wasn’t willing. There wasn’t anyone she’d feel comfortable with. Including me—once she got her memory back.

  I pulled out my phone and sent him a text. Three words, but he’d know what they meant. I got this.

  It wasn’t more than ten seconds before I received his response. Proud of you, Smoke.

  * * *

  Siren was awake when I got upstairs.

  “You look like hell,” she said when I walked in.

  I smiled and pulled up a chair. “Any change?”

  She rested her head against the pillow, closed her eyes, and then opened them a few seconds later. “No.”

  “Hey, now,” I said when I saw her tears. I scooted the chair closer and put my hand on her arm. “You were shot, kiddo. In the head. Your recovery is going to take a while.” I felt her left arm twitch, so I moved my hand. She turned hers over. “See? You’re already making progress.”

  “Because I can turn my wrist?”

  I looked up into her blue-gray eyes. “Yes, because you can move your wrist.”

  “What am I going to do?” she whispered.

  I took a deep breath. What I was about to say could change both of our lives, if not forever, for weeks, maybe even months. “Do you remember anything about your family?”

  “My mother’s dead.” Her eyes opened wide. “I remember. She is, right?”

  “When you were a teenager. Anything else?”

  Siren shook her head.

  “Your father wasn’t a part of your life, and you don’t have siblings.”

  “I’m all alone,” she whispered, so softly I could barely hear her even as close as I was.

  “You’re not.” I took another deep breath. “You have me, and this is what we’re going to do.” I got up from the chair, walked over to the door, and locked it. When I turned around, Siren’s eyes were like saucers. “There are things I n
eed to tell you that I don’t want anyone to overhear.” I sat back down. “Do you remember me telling you that we both work in intelligence?”

  “Yes.”

  “While the mission we were on when you were shot was for a different organization, you actually work for IMI—Irish Military Intelligence.”

  “Do you work for them as well?”

  “I do not. I was with the agency—the CIA—up until a few months ago. Now I freelance. IMI doesn’t know the extent of your injuries nor the…challenges you’re facing. For your sake, we should do everything we can to keep it that way.”

  “Why?”

  I smiled. “Because you love what you do and you are damn good at it.” I never dreamed I’d say those words out loud to Siren, or anything else complimentary.

  “I’ll lose my job if they find out,” she murmured.

  “It might be hard for you to get much more than a desk job after this.”

  “I wouldn’t like that?”

  “You’d hate it.” I laughed and shook my head in disbelief that Siren and I were in the midst of a civil conversation. If her memory suddenly came back, she’d hate the fact that I’d seen her vulnerability even more than a desk job.

  “What?”

  My phone vibrated, and I took it out of my pocket.

  “Do you always do that?” she asked.

  “Do what?”

  “Answer your mobile in the midst of a conversation.”

  “Yes,” I answered, reading Hammer’s text. Rile will arrange for transport out of London as soon as you’re ready.

  “It’s very rude, you know.”

  I looked up at her, then back at my phone. Copy that. Thanks, I responded. “Where was I?”

  “Being rude.”

  “Maybe you’ll excuse my lack of manners when I tell you that the message I just received was regarding your transport out of England.”

  “Out of England? Where am I going?”

  “To the Great Smoky Mountains in the—”

  “Why?”

  “Siren—”

  “My name is Siobhan, is it not?”

  “It is.”

  “Then, please refer to me by it.”